


Reaching to Higher Places

by yooki221



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bonding, Bullying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cutting, Depression, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lim Changkyun | I.M-centric, Little jealousy, Mental Breakdown, Mild Blood, Multi, Not sure how graphic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Lim Changkyun | I.M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Small relationships, Suicidal Thoughts, seokwon and Gunhee are mostly just mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-04-25 07:52:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 96,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yooki221/pseuds/yooki221
Summary: Happiness? What is that?After the final seven contestants were chosen for Starship's new boy band, everyone felt a mixture of happiness and sadness. But Changkyun, wouldn't believe that this will be the end of the mean looks and gossip. He wanted to debut too but, how will the next few months at the company change his viewpoint?





	1. Prologue: Rough Beginnings and Hateful stares

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back with this time a more angst-filled story. I'm not sure how graphic it will get but I won't go too far and disgusting hopefully but I did put a warning just to be safe cause you never know. Also, this story isn't promoting self-harm or suicide in no way. It is just a story and it sort of lets my deep emotions out as I've experienced feelings but you will get over them and there are better days. Just think that if you're having a bad day, it will get better and I'm sure of it. There is no good without bad.
> 
> Also, since this is a first one for me, this is like a practice and maybe I'll write another No Mercy that will be deeper. :)

“Here is Starship’s new boy group!”

The confetti shoots out from above, and the judges clap happily as well as the seven boys that got chosen except, a pang of sadness is still within the lucky seven as the two other people that were behind them, couldn't make it. The ones who have also tried their best, and their hardest through all the many challenges they've passed by seemed almost wasted. The silence that had washed over once the last member, Minhyuk, to take the final spot in the middle; all of them know who couldn't make it. One person who doesn't clap, his face looking down at the floor was Im Changkyun; the one who came in halfway after many got eliminated. Everyone hated his guts; they didn't even want to look at him when the younger stepped foot in that restaurant. All weapons seemed to fire at him as if he stepped on unfamiliar and unwanted territory (which seemed accurate enough seeing everyone's reactions). The side looks, ignoring, and mean gestures towards him never helped, and he wasn't the only one who wanted to debut; everyone did, but he felt as if the spot he was standing in wasn't the right place for him. Changkyun hangs his head down, his eyes shifting to the left and then the right; all the other six who he now has to spend about 24/7 will be tough. Knowing that he isn't entirely accepted or maybe not at all, took a hard hit towards the younger, who watches as his now teammates cry in both happiness and sadness. Jooheon crying as his friend rapper, Gunhee, wasn't chosen to debut, and Changkyun felt as if it was his fault (even though it wasn't). Changkyun sinks further into his hoodie that he is thankful for, hiding his face to block the view of his eyes becoming glazed with the tears that almost threatened to fall. He's not sure if he should cry in happiness or sadness for what will come over the next few months. 

After the cameras are off, the new boy group and the eliminated two hug each other in the back as Changkyun stays on the side, unable to know how to console the others. He felt as if he did, nobody would appreciate the gesture he offered and shove him away. All he could do at the moment was watch as his now 'bandmates' hugged each other, gripping on tightly and crying, the pain in Changkyun's heart increasing. Everyone soon leaves the building, getting inside the van that remains silent except the muffled sobs and heavy tension that fills the air. For the whole car ride, Changkyun sits alone near the front as the seat next to him has Shownu sitting in it; the coolest and collected one here except Changkyun himself instead, he had his reason. The others just looked out the window, their last drops of tears falling as they make it back to the dorms. The two eliminated members would need to pack up their items and leave, never having to go through any more eliminations or the nervousness of wondering if you made it or not. It was finally the end and now started a new beginning, one that paves new and curious roads. Once inside the dorm, Gunhee and Seokwon pack their things as the others sit around in mostly shock and sadness. It was finally over but, to be hit with both sad and happy news was too much to come to terms with, and it leaves them all with questions of what to do next. 

“Hey Changkyun, move your things to the other room. You're gonna be staying with Minhyuk, Jooheon, and Kihyun now.”

Shownu ushers, his tone strong, but held a small smile to comfort the younger, who silently agrees and gets up from the couch. He grabs his things from one of the other rooms, making his way to settle down in a new place with people he will have to get used to for a few years. Changkyun moves slowly to the room and peeks into the room to see who is inside, only revealing Kihyun and Minhyuk who are putting away their things. The younger shuffles his way into the room, catching their attention and Minhyuk makes a small grunt, rolling his eyes and leaving the room. Minhyuk passes by the younger, leaving only Kihyun and Changkyun who both don't say a word. 

“Um, hyung?” Changkyun hesitantly calls out to the brunette, gripping some of his clothes to his chest. “Where should I put my clothes and stuff?”

Kihyun turns, not saying a word except for looking at the younger up and down, making Changkyun stiffen up at the stare. The younger gulps and looks to the floor, Kihyun going back to his task of organizing. Changkyun thinks that the older wouldn't say anything to him, (as expected) and turns away until he hears the other speak. 

“You can use the two drawers below mines. It's doesn't seem like you have much, but if you do, I guess we could work something else out.” 

“T-thank you, hyung.” Changkyun quickly says, sorting out his belongings on the bed as Kihyun finishes up. He's getting there but, of course, it will take some time for everyone to open up. If Changkyun takes that one step and holds out his hand, he's sure that someone will see it and guide him to where he needs to be, to get to their highest point. Surely, good results will come. Hopefully.


	2. Hatred, Hope and Reassurance

"Geez, you need to stop slowing us down Changkyun. We barely can get to the chorus, and if you just knew how to dance we wouldn't be in this situation."

For the past two hours of sweating through their debut song on repeat, Minhyuk's remarks towards the younger don't help the younger at all. Instead, it messes him up more; the small grunts, eye rolls, sighing, and just plain rude movements made Changkyun want to break down and not do anything, shut everyone out. Yes, Changkyun did mess up but he wasn't the only one couldn't get some of the footwork down. All the other dances in No.Mercy that they had were relatively easy but this, it considered a lot more of their energy; just getting to the chorus was already losing have of what your body gave. But, of course, if he voiced his opinions then hell would break loose, and Changkyun for sure didn't want to be on anyone's bad side, he was already in deep waters. He nodded, letting the cold, hurtful words sink into him as if he hadn't heard them enough, and walked to the corner of the dance room and taking out his phone to occupy the mind. Just another hour he would need to pull through, hoping that the ride at home and the last hours in the dorm run smoothly.

"Come on, he got thrown into this situation, and now he is here and made it through skill. At least let him off easy Min." Shownu walks over to the now blonde boy as he wipes the sweat from his forehead with a hand towel. He had taken the position of leader and decided to throw away whatever tension happened in No Mercy, and Changkyun thanks him for that. Something tugs at the youngers heart, a small smile spreading across his lips as he felt accepted by someone. Changkyun did old it within him from running and crying into the older's arms. "We're here to debut, and the dance is a bit harder than what most of us are familiar with doing. Everyone needs time to adjust because we cant expect to throw someone into one thing and believe they can work at the snap of fingers. It's like throwing an animal into unknown territory, they can't just function and know everything, give it time, he'll learn."

"Then he shouldn't have to debut with us if he isn't cut for it. Sometimes some things are abrupt, and you have to know how to deal with it right away. What if they decided to change a section or footwork right before the show? Then what?" Minhyuk turns his head, not wanting to argue anymore as the other's stay silent, biting their tongue from letting out their frustrations about the situation.

Shownu sighs, his focus turning to the silent member in the corner of the dance room, and then the other five who also never said a word through his exchange with Minhyuk. He could tell that they felt the same way as Minhyuk, the way they seemed to distance themselves away from the newest member, not even wanting to breathe the same air as him. The oldest makes his way towards the unsocial boy on his phone, guilt setting within him that he feels he should be a better leader, to think of a way for Changkyun to communicate with the others. Shownu settles down next to the brunette, taking a peek at his phone (which probably isn't the best idea) and sees a trending game that the boy is playing.

"Oh, I like that game. I believed I passed it, but I'm not sure."

Changkyun turns, a small sparkle in his eyes. "Really? I've been stuck on this parts for almost a week. I don't like doing cheats and stuff."

"Maybe if you put this block here and move it to the left, the block you want to pass through the exit will go through." Changkyun does what Shownu suggests, his eye widening with amazement and a wide grin spreads his face. 

"Woah hyung, you're awesome. That was so easy I can't believe I didn't see that."

"Well, sometimes it takes two people for things to work. If not two, then sometimes a group of people to get you where you need." Shownu smiles and Changkyun blinks, turning his head to look towards the older as he sees the meaning in his words; that to get where you want and need to be, sometimes you can't do it yourself. "Listen Changkyun, I know it's hard. We've been through a lot and so have you, but we need to put No.Mercy in the past now, and I know you've done as well as myself. There's no need to hold whatever grudge, but I'm sure the other's will open up. They're not bad people, trust me."

Changkyun looks where the other members are at who are laughing, joking around with one another and the stares. One day he will be in that group, making the others react the same way, but at the moment, he can only dream and look from afar. 

"Everything is hard at the start but, it'll become more natural and easy going, and I'm sure of it. That's why this group, if we all work together, we can go where ever we can reach, even beyond the finish line." Shownu finishes and gives Changkyun another pat on the back, easing the boy's mind. The younger smiles as he nods his head, as now the members talking and playful bickering in the background become just noise. 

"Thank you Shownu-hyung, that makes me happy."

Changkyun knows that one person has finally reached back towards him.  
_

After another painful hour, they head back to the dorms, and Changkyun takes off his shoes by the door, heading towards the shared room to grab his clothes to take a shower. Minhyuk comes from behind the younger, bumping his shoulder as he speeds past the boy to head towards the bathroom first, and closing the door. No words were exchanged or apologize either. Changkyun wondered why yelling and being mean didn't satisfy the older enough, and he rubs his shoulder that was surprisingly hurting. 

"Hey, are you going to move or you just standing there blocking the hallway?" Kihyun's sharp tone cuts the younger's thoughts, making him move aside so the older can pass through. Changkyun never thought Kihyun would hold anything against the younger, always seeming to be friendly and social but, that sadly wasn't true. There was a time where Changkyun never got a plate (before the No.Mercy finale) because Kihyun said he didn't have 'enough ingredients', yet, Wonho got a second plate. 

Changkyun looks down, moving his eyes to see Kihyun's back as it gets smaller down the hallway, and then turning into their shared room. The younger sincerely wished to be near Shownu who was like his security blanket, someone who cared for him and his well-being and also wanting just to leave the past behind. The brunette hears a flush coming from the restroom, soon turning away and going down the hallway, trying to avoid any more contact with Minhyuk which will then lead to something he would regret. Just as he turns around, he bumps into something, most likely someone with what feels like a muscular build, and hopes to be Shownu as Wonho looked about to be the same size. Opening his eyes, Changkyun holds his breath as it reveals Wonho instead, pushing the younger's luck right out the window and then hitting it with a truck; he knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry! I didn't see you there Wonho; I was daydreaming." 

"Seems like you still are cause it's hyung to you. Wonho-hyung. I don't appreciate the informality."

Changkyun gulped, looking down and fiddling his fingers as he heard the bathroom door open behind him, the sound of footsteps coming up behind him. "I'm sorry hyung..."

"Sorry?" Minhyuk says from behind, and the younger flinches at the voice, someone he was trying to avoid contact with for the rest of the day. It wasn't any of his business for the blonde to walk into Changkyun's conversation with Wonho, but, the younger couldn't voice his opinions once again. "What did he do this time? You always seem to be causing trouble for us now aren't you?"

"What's going on out here?" Kihyun walked out of the room from doing whatever he was doing and peeks over the shoulders blocking his view. By the firm tone of Kihyun's voice, Changkyun has a tint of hope that the older would help him out of the situation, lifting up his head just a little to try and make eye contact with the brunette. Changkyun catches Kihyun's gaze, sending signals to at least silently tell him that he needed help, he needed one of his hyungs. Kihyun looks away and brushes past the three, seeing Minhyuk and Wonho confronting what Changkyun could have done, and shrugs off the situation. Changkyun see the older brush past, not even caring or bothering to hear his story, nor do anything to stop from the other members from crowding him in such a small area, and the younger's heart started to beat faster, his palms sweating. No one cared, and here he was, stuck in a narrow hallway that felt as if it was getting smaller.

"Sorry hyung." Changkyun choked out, brushing past quickly which made the older angrier, grabbing his wrist in a quick reflex that had Changkyun yell from the top of his lungs. "Stop it!" 

Changkyun gulps, locking eyes with the older two as his scream came on reflex. After many years of being bullied in school, to scream or yell was now second nature to the younger. Wonho and Minhyuk stay still in surprise as they look at the younger in a shock as the grip on Changkyun's wrist slowly loosened from how loud the younger yelled, vibrating the walls and catching the others attention who soon started to make their way to the small hallway. Shownu asks what was wrong but, nobody said anything which didn't sit well with the oldest as he pulled Changkyun away by the look on his face and the way he now cupped his hand around his wrist. The leader gave a glare at Minhyuk and Wonho who look at the white walls with nothing to say, or will they admit to anything; the same going for Changkyun who didn't want to start up anything else or have to pay for it later. Shownu patted Changkyun's back, a gesture that made him feel safe and the pair soon exit out of the hallway; stopping right next to where Kihyun stood.

"You came from the hallway, and you still did nothing to prevent this."

Kihyun looks back at Shownu in shock, soon looking down with no response back, a strong feeling of guilt washing over him as the oldest pointed out his wrongdoing. Shownu placed Changkyun silently on the couch to let him breathe and calm down, as he observed the look of worry, sadness, and fear mixed within Changkyun's eyes as if he had been through something more worse than a confrontation. The way the younger looked was instead one event of something more traumatic which made the older think Changkyun must have gone through quite a lot. Shownu reached into the kitchen fridge, grabbing a cold bottle of water and walking out back to the living room. He handed it to the silent boy who seemed lost in his thoughts; his eyes fixed on the television screen that emitted nothing. Changkyun mumbles a thanks, hanging his head down low and Shownu takes a seat next to him, soon patting his back as the conversations of the other members die down into the rooms down the hallway.

"I know I shouldn't be the one to apologize but, I am sorry for this. I don't know what happened and I'm sure you don't want to talk about it, I can scold the three as well as Kihyun if you want?"

Changkyun shook his head rapidly, not lifting up his head to look at the other. "I want everyone to learn from their mistakes through realization. I don't want them coming back to me if you scold them for what they did. But, thank you hyung for worrying."

Changkyun leaned his head onto the leader, biting his lip to prevent himself from crying. He wanted the other members to learn from their mistakes but, Changkyun wasn't sure how long that could be.


	3. Neglect, Self-Esteem and Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments! Here is the second chapter! From here it will possibly get deeper and more angsty.

Changkyun sits at the back of the van next to the window, with Shownu sitting next to him and Kihyun is on the other side of the oldest, while the others took up seats in front of them. The air was tense; nobody wished to say anything after Shownu’s outburst at Kihyun earlier in the morning that had woken up Changkyun with a start. Apparently, Changkyun was never woken up by the Kihyun; instead, the older had gotten Minhyuk and Jooheon up, skipping him. It was until about two hours later, (Changkyun believes) that Changkyun was still sleeping the bed, and Shownu turned to Kihyun to blame for it. They needed to leave in thirty minutes, and Changkyun was still not up, causing Kihyun to get yelled at for not waking up everybody since he was the one to get up the earliest. Nobody else bothered to wake the younger, except Shownu’s yelling that had Changkyun up in no time, confused at where the noise was coming from at first, and unable to make out the words. His half sleepy state was making it difficult to stay up as well too., but tried his best to listen to the words that were spewing out rapidly.

“Goddammit, Kihyun! I told you to wake up everybody if you’re the one who gets up the earliest!”

“Hyung, I was still half asleep too! I also needed to make breakfast!” Changkyun heard his hyung reply back as he swung his feet off the bed, climbing down the latter.

“Then why was it Changkyun? It wasn’t Minhyuk or Jooheon, it was specifically Changkyun who isn’t awake. This situation is bullshit Kihyun! First, you ignore him and shun him out, then you don’t even make a plate for him, and now you don’t even get him up. It seems to me that you being half asleep, occurs way too often then!”

Kihyun made no response, making his way to the room to wake up Changkyun since time was now limited. When the older walked in, he makes contact with the younger who is grabbing his clothes from the drawer. Changkyun looks at the brunette who stares at him, wanting to say something as the air starts feeling tight, hard to breathe and silent as death.

“Hyung, I-”

“When did you wake up?” Kihyun cuts him off.

“Right now.”

It’s silent for a few moments, and Kihyun looks to the floor, biting his tongue as something seems to be holding the older back. Changkyun wants to say something, but, his thoughts of not being able to form the right words stop him. Before Changkyun can open his mouth, Kihyun’s low cold tone speaks first, knowing the younger possibly heard what happened outside in the living room.

“Well, get dressed and ready; we only have about twenty-five minutes anyways.”

Kihyun turns around and heads out, not speaking any other words and letting the younger look down to the floor. Shownu comes in not too long after, sighing as he runs his hands through his hair.

“Sorry Changkyun, I don't mean to rush you especially since you haven't eaten as well. You don't mind getting something on the way do you?”

Changkyun replies for the older not to worry and it's okay, slightly understanding of the situation but, upset at how Kihyun is treating him. The younger heads over to the bathroom to wash up and change, getting ready for their photo shoot and that leads everyone inside the van, quiet as the only thing to be heard were the people outside on the streets. Shownu’s outburst put everyone into silence, left with their thoughts as Changkyun continued to play his game on his phone. Throughout the car ride, nobody uttered a word, and Changkyun liked it. Not having to hear the bickering and insults at him, hoping Shownu’s words got to them.  
_

“That doesn’t suit you very well Changkyun.” The recently silent Hyungwon speaks up, catching the maknae’s attention. Changkyun looks at the attractive blonde, questioning him slightly by tilting his head. “The outfit doesn’t suit you for the photoshoot. But, I guess you have to be glad that they covered up your acne scars. Thank god for makeup right?”

Changkyun stares for a few seconds, letting out an airy chuckle and a mumble of small words, looking down at his phone. It hurt Changkyun a lot but, nobody seemed to care other than Shownu, and even though the oldest attempted to stop everyone’s actions, the hate towards him never died out. He felt nothing would get better after seeing how Shownu’s actions (which he was exceedingly generous for) didn’t seem to seep into the other’s head. The way Jooheon ignored him ever since No.Mercy in the room where they ‘opened up,’ and how Minhyuk stated he never wanted to be friends with the younger, ignoring him everywhere they went. How Kihyun turned the other way whenever something happened, never seemed to care what happened to the younger, and also even though Hyungwon was silent, Changkyun knew that the older hated him, the talk he just had proved even more. Wonho was always jumping in with Minhyuk also to make Changkyun’s life worse, almost feeling as if he was dirt or the gum on the bottom of their shoe’s. Changkyun got up, moving away from the tall member and mentioned he would go into the restrooms, Hyungwon too busy to listen to whatever he said. The brunette opened the door slowly, peeking in and under stalls to see that none were occupied, stepping inside and softly closing the door behind him.

Changkyun sighed, looking up at himself in the mirror, making eye contact with what everyone believed to be a disgusting human being, for cheating his way through No.Mercy, his fate already decided but, that wasn’t really what had happened. He had almost debuted with another group, but it had fallen short, no money left to continue and had to go back to square one. Until, Starship offered him a chance to debut, and yes it was late, but, Changkyun, as well as other people, wanted it so bad. Anyone who has been training for no matter how many years, wants to be able to shine in the spotlight. But, the spotlight he was in, was one he wished to get out of with all the rumors and lies surrounding him had made everyone to believe they were correct. Changkyun looked into the mirror once again, unable to see what caused him to be Changkyun in the first place, and was the stage name I.M even worth taking? The name that to him seemed tainted with the words of the media, one that made Changkyun hate himself for taking up the offer to join No.Mercy, wishing he had instead joined in the beginning and everyone wouldn’t have hated him. When the cameras were off, everyone ignored after they had just laughed and joked with him, not believing he was there. To them, he was a ghost, and at first, Changkyun thought it to be true. How he would speak up to say something or reach out to touch a member whether it be grabbing on their coat from tripping or just to get their attention, they never looked at him once (except Shownu of course). No matter how far he reached or how many times, only one hand came back.

The feeling at first was strange but, the more it had happened, it became familiar to him. The way he felt when people pointed at him when he was little, how the kids laughed and tormented him till he cried; alone in the corner with nobody to really turn to for help or guidance. How his only friend got picked on to for hanging out with Changkyun, soon turning on him to laugh and point. He alone never had actual happiness, except with his other group members and another shot to debut. Changkyun licked lips, his eyes looking down at the white tile counter, and then up at the lights to stop himself from crying. Everything hurt, the last string if brightness within him engulfed by darkness, soon becoming nothing. Maybe everyone was right about him, how no one wanted to be friends with him because he was worthless. Minhyuk said it himself, that he didn’t want to be friends with him, and neither did Jooheon as well as anyone else. Maybe Shownu would turn on him just like his friend did back in grade school.

Changkyun slowly made his way out of the bathroom, back to the spot where Hyungwon used to be, everyone else still waiting around for their turns. No one knew he had gone except for Hyungwon, and the older didn’t say anything to anyone, he didn’t care one bit. When it was Changkyun turn, Minhyuk and Wonho pointed at him, slightly laughing at whatever seemed to be funny to them; and whatever it was, Kihyun was trying his best not to laugh either. Jooheon and Hyungwon joined in soon after, and of course, Shownu was nowhere as expected. Changkyun wanted to run and never come back, to fall on the floor and cry, which was an unhealthy thing to do all the time but, now it was a habit. His other members had left the room, and it was only him and the photographers, his part soon wrapping up. And when it was over, he bowed a thank you and moved to find the other’s that were nowhere to be seen.

Worried, the younger took out his phone, calling Shownu who picked up immediately with confusion in his voice.

“Changkyun? Why are you calling me?”

“Hyung, I can’t find you or the others.”

“What do you mean? Aren’t you in the van?”

“No, I’m still at the photo shoot. I just finished.”

Shownu sighed, irritated and Changkyun replied with a sorry. “No, it’s not your fault. Minhyuk said you were in the van and me and manager believed it. I’ll have the van turn around.” Shownu’s words chilled Changkyun, the way his tone was like ice, knowing the older would want to punch the wall. He hangs up, making his way to the elevator when a group of boys stops him from moving any further down the hallway. Trapped and alone, the building seemed dead silent, making the younger turn around until one of them grab his wrist. Before he could yell, a hand covers his mouth muffling the horrifying scream and the grip tightening on his jaw to turn and face whoever grabbed him.

“Well, look who we found.” One of the boys he’s never seen before smirks. “It’s the kid from No.Mercy. The one who cheated his way and just so happened to debut.”

“Yeah, it is.” Another says, leaning closer to get a good look. “What is he doing here in this building I wonder?”

“Poor Gunhee, the group would be so much better with him. I bet Jooheon wishes he could do everything in his power to have him back.”

The grip on Changkyun loosen, soon being thrown to the floor, a kick coming straight to his stomach. Changkyun lets out a cry, holding his stomach afterward as he folds his body. Another kick comes at him, stabbing him deeply as he lets out another pained yelp.

“Ha, what a wimp. Rappers are strong, not like this piece of garbage.” The group of boys passes by him, giving each other high fives and laughing. “See you around Starship, Cheater.”

The pain throbs in Changkyun’s stomach as if the boys were still there and continuously kicking him, spreading further within his body. There’s no blood, but he felt as if he got stabbed as if something was oozing out him other than the tears that tried too hard to fall. Changkyun tries his hardest to stand, using the wall as his grip to lay against it, his heaving breathing clouding his thoughts. Every step felt agonizing, trying to steady himself from falling over or something worse such as fainting. It takes a while a little while before he reaches the entrance, and as if on cue, Shownu comes inside running, seeing the boy hunched over and grabbing his stomach.

“Changkyun, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

A small smile comes across his face, reassuring his worried hyung. “It’s only a bad stomach ache. I’m okay.”

“Stupid Kihyun, I’ll hit him if he doesn’t make you any food again for breakfast. Did you need to eat? That could be the reason.”  
Changkyun shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m not that hungry.”

Before Shownu has the chance to respond, Minhyuk comes inside whining for them to hurry up to go to the dorms. The oldest just sighs, patting Changkyun’s back as they make it to the van and heading back home.  
_  
With one step into the dorm, Changkyun bolts to the restroom, lifting up his shirt to reveal the mix of black and blue that bloomed, spreading out like a flower; but the sight was not pretty. The mirror reflected what Changkyun wished to have never happened again; the view sadly was something he got used to after some time. His cold fingertips slowly reached the spot, and once in contact with the growing pain, the younger retracts his hand; biting his bottom lip hard to hold in his scream. Changkyun searches the medicine cabinet for anything, pills, ointment, something to stop him from going crazy. A loud knock comes from the other side of the door, stopping Changkyun as he looks at the door where the person seems to be standing.

“Hey! Will you hurry up?”

Wonho's voice booms, making Changkyun spill out a sorry, not forgetting to add hyung at the end of course. The brunette flushes the toilet, quickly washes his hands and opens the door. Wonho practically shoves his way through the small entrance, closing the door behind him and Changkyun enters the shared room. Looking through his drawers, Changkyun throws on a pink sweater that shapes his body well, changing into pajamas and jumping up on the top bunk, throwing the covers over himself. The brunette just wants to sleep and nothing more, wanting the growing pain in his stomach to disappear as well as everything else. Other than participating in No.Mercy, is it worth getting beaten up and create rumors just to make his life more difficult? What satisfaction did they need to gain? Changkyun cries into his pillow, unable to keep his feelings inside, gripping the sheets closer to him for warmth. It was unfair, and Changkyun wished just to die, not wanting the bullying to happen once again. He ran away from it before and lived for a few years without anything happening until now.

Footsteps come into the room and to a halt, making Changkyun stop his silent sobbing and steady his breathing. He doesn’t know who out of the six members is standing still in the room, feeling their eyes almost burn through the blanket that’s covering him.

“Changkyun, it’s time to eat.” The voice turns out to be Kihyun.

“It’s okay hyung; I’m not hungry.”

“Really? You haven’t eaten all day.”

“If Shownu-hyung is forcing you to come tell me to eat then it’s fine, you don’t have to get me up or anything. If it’s a bother I can do that myself.”

Kihyun doesn’t say anything, a little taken back at his response. “It’s not a bother Changkyun; it’s just-”

“I’m fine hyung. You don’t need to worry and care for me if you don’t want to.” Changkyun doesn’t mean for his voice to come out sharp but, his words fall out of his mouth as such. Kihyun doesn’t say a word, guilt washing over the older as he looks down at the floor, unable to word his next sentence. He voices out an okay and leaves the room, not wanting to say anymore as it would get him nowhere. Changkyun right now wants to sleep, to forget about everything that had happened today.


	4. Anger, Bruises, and Kihyun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one! Hope you like it and I'll update soon! There's a lot of angst (hopefully) lol

Two days past and Changkyun hadn’t seen the boys around Starship, but that didn’t stop him from looking over his shoulder every time he heard a noise behind him such an object move or people walking by. All seven members were practicing in the dance room again, and so far, everything seemed to run smoothly; besides the glares and stares from the other four members, Kihyun was only looking at the floor, lost in his thoughts. The younger wasn’t doing a full hundred percent from his injury that he kept from the others, the bruise on his stomach still hurt like hell. He was surprised he was able to stand, let alone work his body to perform pretty well.

“Changkyun was too fast for the chorus; he also missed a step during the second verse,” Hyungwon spoke up, Minhyuk chiming in to agree.

“Why were you even looking at me? Mind your own business.” Changkyun almost spits out angrily, putting more fuel into the fire.

“Excuse me?” If Hyungwon wasn’t up and awake before, he sure was now. “Who said you could talk to me like that? Why don’t you do something right for once and stop always being a screw-up.”

“Enough!” Shownu raised his voice, and everyone silenced at once. “I don’t want everyone fighting in here. You all better clean up your act because this isn’t going to cut it. Do you honestly think they will let us debut together like this?”

“He’s the one who cheated his way here,” Wonho mumbled under his breath, the leader still able to catch his words in the silent room. "He's the one not cut out for the debut."

“Wonho, your useless side comment doesn’t help at all.”

“Let’s just keep practicing. This is going nowhere.” Jooheon rolled his eyes, getting up and walking to the speaker. Everyone silently agreed, soon following behind and going to their spots in the middle of the dance room; starting the beginning formation. Once the music played the ending of their debut song, the sound boomed as it shook the walls, the beat familiar to everyone, and getting down on one knee as Jooheon ran to his spot. There was silence as the song faded out to loop and was starting up again. Everyone moved to the rhythm looking at themselves in the mirror, doing whatever they did in their head to keep up the pace, whether it was counting or remembering movements. The younger winced a bit, moving his body so quickly was exhausting him, primarily since the first move was for him to stand straight up (looking tough which didn't work in his condition) and bend forward. Changkyun, who was behind Minhyuk, wanted to push the blonde and mess him up. The younger was so close to the other, but he knew if he did, it wouldn’t solve anything. The formation switched a few times more, and when it was Changkyun’s part, he moved accordingly to the music, mouthing his few lines of the rap. As he finished up to move onto the chorus, the younger walked to his spot in the back, bumping into the blonde and they both tumbled onto the dance floor. Both groan in pain, causing the Minhyuk to have a total outburst at the rapper, the same mistake that occured for the last other practices.

“Changkyun! What the hell?!” Minhyuk stands up, groaning as he felt a pain in his ankle. “This is all your fault cause you don’t know where to go!”

“Well, if you watch me in the mirror to point out my mistakes then you should be able to see me when I move back!”

“Hey! Guys! Right now isn’t the time to fight again!” Shownu stepped forward, crossing his arms which made his look even bigger with his muscles combined. “Minhyuk, stop blaming every small thing on Changkyun, and Changkyun, please watch your tone. You're becoming very snappy, and that’s disrespectful.”

“Finally, someone sees my point.”

“Wonho, the side comments again don’t help.”

“Then what am I supposed to do Hyung? Take Minhyuk being a complete jerk to me?” Changkyun turns to the leader.

Minhyuk gasps, offended and he talks back. “Excuse me; I’m just telling the truth! Just like Hyungwon says, stop being a fuck up. Maybe, we'd like you if you didn't cheat your way into No.Mercy. Stop lying and hiding about it, it's all over the internet, and you still deny every piece of it.”

"It seems like you can't get over the fact that you just to watch people under your feet. Why don't you read something that'll make you smart, and don't act like you know me because I'm sure as hell, did not cheat!"

Changkyun turns to the blonde, yelling back at him when Shownu pulls the younger away, ushering him outside. The leader closes the door behind, and Changkyun shakes off his grip, walking down the hallway.

“Changkyun! Come back here!” Shownu sighs, watching the younger with worry filled eyes. He knows he should scold the younger for his choice of words and attitude but, he wasn't wrong for voicing his opinions. Minhyuk seemed to start everything which caused Changkyun to bite back. “You know that Minhyuk didn’t-”

“I’m going to get water,” Changkyun replies back quietly, and Shownu nods, letting him cool down for a little while. The leader knew that Minhyuk’s last sentence hit the younger hard, and the blonde was wrong, however; everyone would eventually like him and realize soon. The oldest reluctantly goes back into the dance room to scold the others as best as he can, leaving Changkyun to walk down the empty hallway and kick the wall in anger. Minhyuk said it for everyone in the dance room, if he didn’t cheat his way through and came at the beginning, everyone would like him. They don’t want him there, and when he was, he was always a fuck up. He messed many things up, hence why they have a harder time to debut, and it was because of his fault. Changkyun guessed people called him worthless for a reason because they were right, there was no point in his life. He tried so hard, and this was his second chance yet, it didn’t feel as if it was. Sensing that the opportunity vanished with how many mistakes he has made, and with his former group, he never screwed up anything.

Changkyun walked to the restroom, stepping inside without a thought and washed his face over the tile sink, the cold water wiping away his sweat and wishing that it wiped away his whole existence. He looked up at the mirror, touching his face to reveal the acne scars that he so much hated, wishing that they were never on his face. Just like Hyungwon said, good thing there was makeup to hide his hideous feature, something that was apart of Changkyun that he hoped would disappear but, it never did. He wasn't good looking as the others; nothing stood out to him to others, hence why their small group of already fans liked everyone else. Maybe if he were a little more skinny, and taller people would want him. It had already been three days since he's eaten, except water and box of crackers he knows Kihyun hides the back of a cabinet. The door to the bathroom opens, and he recognizes the two faces who walk in, turning away quickly and into a stall. He feels that these two boys (who are possibly trainees) are following him or asked for his schedule to know where he would be. But, to walk in the bathroom the same time as Changkyun, seems too much of a coincidence.

“Hey, who said you could turn from us?” One of the boys grabs Changkyun from behind at the collar of his shirt, yanking him towards the trainee. The brunette grips the door of the stall, trying his best to get away, but had no luck. “Trying to escape? How silly and pathetic of you. You always seem to run away. Is that why you cheated to get that spot? To turn from all those other eliminations, and jump right into the middle?”

Changkyun wriggled out, kicking and throwing his arms around to have the other boy let him go. His blood boiled, rising at an intense rate, his heart pounding against his rib cage as fear washed over the already pain he had; in a time of distress, Changkyun felt as if the bruise he had previously was gone. The boy lets go, shoving the rapper against the cold tile floor, slightly wet from at the spot where the sink was, but it felt dirty, just like him.

“I hope you know that both of us wanted that spot so bad but no, you took it away from us.”

A kick comes at Changkyun’s back, his scream only echoing in the bathroom, absorbing into the walls. The boys kicked in place they know that the brunette would never show, always aiming for the back or stomach. Changkyun knew that if they hit anywhere else, it would be in the open to others, and he didn’t want questions from people. If he told who made the bruises on his body, the beating would come back at him worse. This time, it wasn’t just two kicks, but multiple coming at him, both front and back, as if they came back stronger to wish that they put more damage. Changkyun cried, the tears falling down his face as fast as the feet were hitting against his abdomen, using his arms to try and cover any open space but, it was no use. If he hid his stomach, the pain would come from behind, and if he laid on his back to protect that part of his body as well, the kicks could come from the side of his body.

With a strong will, the rapper sits up on all fours, trying his best through his bruised body to be able to run out of the restroom, only to get kicked at the side. He falls against the tile, giving up at trying and deciding to turn into a ball, taking in all the hits. The bullying happened for so long before, going through this for so many years, and he’ll have to do it once again, just with different people who hated everything about him. His body started to shake, his voice gone and tears hurting from how tight he closed them, wishing for the pain to stop. With the small ounce of energy left, he called out for Shownu-hyung in a whisper, his words unable to reach the older; the person who was there for Changkyun, but not there when he called for his name.

The blows stopped, making Changkyun heavily cough uncontrollably, and trying hardest to stand up. Another hard yank at his shirt to pull him up, a hand coming to his face to turn his head towards the reflection in the mirror. The half-lidded eyes that almost showed no life left, a tiredness within them, his petite body weak as the limbs felt numb, unable to move an inch; not even a centimeter or a breath. Every movement hurt. The second boy lifted up Changkyun’s shirt, his sensitive body already showing the bruising and more bruises scattered around his flesh. They spread all over his chest down to his belly button, the same colors of black and blue painted against him; he didn’t want to see what his back looked like after the front. The reflection he saw a while ago before the beating was gone, he didn’t know whoever was staring back at him, he only knew that the person on the other side was weak Changkyun. The reflection that would look back at him the same way years ago, the Changkyun who got kicked, hit, spit on, and thrown against the floor; that was who he recognized. It was no shock to him to see his body in such a way, the fragile body that could take any blow, but never fought back, only words. When the younger tried to punch or kick, it would get worse or would get ignored; no one cared because all he was was weak.

“You see this person here? This is garbage, something that needs to get rid of and thrown out. You never deserved that spot, and you still don’t. You stole everyone’s shot at debut, and now everyone hates you for it. Those band members you’re with, they don’t care about you or what happens to you. They would do anything, to get Gunhee back. You’re a cheater.”

“Look at yourself.”

Changkyun opened his heavy eyes, his disgusting reflection looking back at him.

“I’m a worthless person…” Changkyun mumbled out, a happy smile spread across the two boys.

“Good, and stay on the ground where you belong.” They let get of his shirt, Changkyun’s limp and numb body sink onto the ground. One of them takes out there phone, the bright flash of light hurting Changkyun’s eyes, even though he couldn’t keep them open. The boys leave with a laugh, the younger alone in the restroom once again. He can’t leave the bathroom, and he left for such a long time that someone would come back, or maybe not. With a loud cry, Changkyun stands up, leaning against the wall for support and limping out the door. The pain was shooting up his spine as if needles stabbed him all around his torso, hidden underneath his black shirt. If he can, the younger would need to soak in a hot tub with some remedy that the other members will not suspect.

Upon reaching the door to the dance room, the rapper tries his best to straighten his body, hearing the voice through the door.

“Where the hell is Changkyun?” Minhyuk groans, his steps walking around the room. “We need to practice, and he’s wasting our time.”

“Minhyuk, you need to keep thoughts to yourself,” Shownu says, easing Changkyun a little that the leader still stands for up for him. "Please try not to open that troublesome mouth. Changkyun's right about how all you do is point out his mistakes and try to create drama."

“I don’t want to talk to him about the other raps in the songs on our album. I can’t do it myself hyung?” Jooheon whines and Shownu gives a sharp no.

Changkyun walks inside, their conversations stopping as they look at the younger step inside, Kihyun and Shownu staring a little longer than the others.

“Finally! Geez, you were in there for almost thirty minutes.” Hyungwon’s unhelpful comment lips through his mouth.

“I thought he ditched us for something else,” Wonho says, ignoring the glare of Shownu.

Kihyun walks up to younger, seeing something slightly off with his appearance and he pulls the brunette the side. Changkyun looks down, subtly covering his stomach, and it doesn't go unnoticed by the now worried some older.

“Changkyun,” The vocalist speaks, his voice lowered, so the other members don’t hear. “Is there anything wrong? Do you feel sick?”

“Why do you care all of a sudden? I’m worthless and a cheater anyway, so you should just keep ignoring me.” The way Changkyun’s words slip out of mouth tenses the other, his brain stopping as he tries to process the words that were thrown out at him. The younger walks away, leaving Kihyun to stare at where he used to be standing, in shock at his words.  
_  
In the middle of Changkyun’s slumber, a soft shake of his shoulder forces him to wake up, not wanting to open his eyes, the sunlight burning him to death. A small voice creeps its way into his ears, the melodic sound coming from the brunette vocalist who for once wasn’t ‘half asleep.’ Changkyun whines, not wanting to communicate with the older when all he did was hate him for being a cheater, everyone in the dorm thought the same. The younger waved his hand off at Kihyun, shifting in his bunk as he turned his back, hoping to signalize that he didn’t want the other’s help. A sigh comes from the vocalist’s mouth, the slight shaking of the ladder as he soon began to step up onto Changkyun’s bed, making him widen his eyes in realization, soon sitting up and making sleepy eye contact with the older.

“Good, you’re finally awake.”

“Did Shownu-hyung put you up to this?”

As Kihyun started to go down, he stops in his tracks and looks up at Changkyun, scratching his head. “No, but everybody else is out in the living room and kitchen. Get ready because we have another dance practice, and you need to eat.”

“I’m okay; I’m not hungry.”

“Changkyun come on. I didn’t get you up to-”

“Stop acting as if you care about me when you don’t.” Changkyun whipped his head the older, raising his voice slightly. Kihyun stares at the younger, gulping as he looks down and up at Changkyun. Before he can speak, the rapper opens his mouth once again, making Kihyun shut his. “You’re only doing this because Shownu told you to, and yelled at you for not doing your job. If you cared about me, you would have gotten those rumors you’ve been hearing about me out of your head. But no, you jump on the bandwagon like everyone else. I don’t even think you deserve to be called hyung with the way you treated me, Kihyun.”

Kihyun looks back at Changkyun, his eyes filled with hurt as he soon realizes that his stubborn and stupid actions caused this to happen. Changkyun felt pretty good standing up for himself, that is until, Kihyun almost looked as if he was about to cry, and the younger stares at him, soon turning away. When Kihyun ignored him when he needed help the most, and neglected taking care of him at times, he knew that this was what Kihyun deserved. Kihyun had to feel the regret and sorrow for what he caused, and Changkyun wasn’t going to say sorry just because the other would start shedding tears.

“I’m not feeling too well. I don’t think I can make it to practice.”

Kihyun nodded, finally reaching the carpet and Hyungwon steps inside to see what the older was taking so long. As the blonde spots the melancholy like look on the vocalists face, his anger turns to Changkyun who lays back under the covers.

“Hey, Changkyun, you better watch what you’re saying. You better not be disrespecting your hyungs.”

“Hyungwon,” Kihyun stops him, his voice quiet and almost like a whisper. “Just, leave it alone.”

Kihyun and Hyungwon move back to the living room, and Changkyun laid in bed, staring at the white ceiling that was very close to him; somewhere around twelve or twenty-four inches. To be truthful, Changkyun honestly did feel sick around his stomach area from the incident that occured yesterday. All because of false rumors they heard on the internet, to make him more like the bad guy than he already was (by coming after someone got eliminated). There were many reasons why Changkyun hated the internet, and this was one them by putting him in an unwanted spotlight, spreading false accusations and just giving him hate comments as if that would be the answer to the solution; but it wasn’t. It was as if Minhyuk, Jooheon, Kihyun, Wonho, and Hyungwon thought the same of hating on him as if that could solve the emptiness. But, Changkyun wasn’t a cheater, didn’t secretly give money, or never did he get the promise to be able to debut; he just went for it. The brunette wanted to be happy, loved the feeling it gave him but, what was the point in trying to smile when you’re hurting inside? To him, it was a mask that his what he honestly felt, and he knew once everything was that he’d still be depressed.

Changkyun’s gaze looked away from the ceiling, turning his head to the right to see the neatly cleaned up bunk; which was Kihyun’s. A long heavy sigh escaped the younger’s mouth, something he learned not to do around Minhyuk or Wonho, Changkyun sat up, a sharp pain hitting him like a truck, making him arch forward and hold his stomach. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes, a type of agony that was hard to explain to anyone, one that felt as if his body was tearing apart. Changkyun didn’t feel any broken bones, but the boy’s kick did treat him as if Changkyun was a soccer ball. The rapper slowly made his way down the ladder, holding his stomach as he walked to the restroom, turning on the light and closing the door behind him, not forgetting to lock it. For the big reveal, Changkyun lifted up his shirt as he turned away and closed his eyes, peeking to see that the bruises had spread out more and more prominent in color. From his past experiences, it would be a while for something like this to heal. The brunette heaves a sigh for what seems like the hundredth time, stepping out of the bathroom to start laying back down again. A noise catches the youngers attention, his feet leading the way on his own and to the living room that he rarely goes to now. He looks out towards the kitchen to see the short brunette walking around the kitchen, whatever the vocalist was doing. Changkyun had thought everyone left for practice but, seeing Kihyun still here meant the other’s went to get something for him, or he decided to stay.

Changkyun seemed to have lingered for too long and was caught by the older, locking eyes with one another, making the rapper hide behind the wall, still peeking out. The action makes Kihyun laugh, looking back down as he moved his hands with what seemed to be drying dishes.

“You can come out you know, I’m not going to do anything.”

“Doubt that,” Changkyun mumbled under his breath and reluctantly walked out, dragging his feet to the middle area. He felt a weird sensation take over him as if he felt like the younger didn’t belong in the spot he was standing in. It was odd to be where six people laugh and joke with one another, but to the younger, he didn’t feel that happiness from the room because it wasn’t complete; something was missing, and Changkyun knew he couldn’t finish the final picture.

“Everyone went to practice,” Kihyun spoke up, not making eye contact with the other but noticed him look around. “So, it’s only us.”

“Why didn’t you go.”

“You said you were sick; I thought I would help you out I guess.”

“I told you I’m fine. You don’t need to go to that extent.”

Kihyun sighed, slumping his shoulders as he finished up, putting away the dishes. The two didn’t say anything, not even moving as they both looked anywhere but one another. “Are you hungry?”

The question hung in the air, the younger not saying a word except for playing with the hems of his sweater. He didn’t want to open up to the other, why would he with the way he treated him? Changkyun was someone who was worthless, didn’t have a heart and was a so-called cheater, always ignored to be a ghost who was just there. For people to see him now, it felt as if their chance was too late, they should have done something earlier. Kihyun brings up another question, only to get ignored more, and he gives up trying. Kihyun deserved to be ignored, just like how he did with Changkyun thought the younger. Even if the rapper felt like he was stubborn or being mean, he wasn’t; since Kihyun looked the other way when the older members were mean to him, Changkyun will do the same.

“Changkyun, I know you must hate me for all the things I’ve done to you. I was insulting by not waking you and saying that there wasn’t enough food. But, I feel awful for the way I’ve been treating you.”

“I don’t care Kihyun. Your apology means nothing to me.” Changkyun folded his arms; his body felt weak. His mind dizzy from the growing pain, conversation, and the brightness of the room.

“Oh, I don’t know what to say.” Kihyun chuckled a bit, nervousness high in his voice as he scratched the back of his head. “Is there a way to improve then?”

“Why don’t you just stop being an asshole?”

Changkyun’s sharp and loud tone made Kihyun whip his head quickly, now the older was mad at his no use of manners. The brunette understood why he was angry but, the other didn’t need to speak to him as such.

“Hey, watch your mouth!”

“Why? It’s what you’ve been acting like towards me. You never helped me when I needed it the most! The time for Deokspatch shooting and I grabbed onto your jacket to prevent myself from falling, and you pulled away, causing me to fall on the curb! When Wonho and Minhyuk were cornering me, all you did was look me straight in the eye and left.”

Kihyun bit his tongue, keeping his gaze somewhere else other than Changkyun and scratches the nape of his neck; something the vocalist often did. The older sighed, walking towards the younger who slowly turned to him. Kihyun wrapped his arms around Changkyun, an action that the other wasn’t expecting, and he wasn’t going to voice out his pains in his stomach and back. The tight grip on his body hurt, but the pain wasn’t anything malicious, (except the ones from the boys) but one out of sorrow and forgiveness. As much as Changkyun didn’t want to, the tears he held back came flooding down rapidly, the screaming sobs filling the silent room. He pounded his fists against Kihyun’s chest to push him away, angry, but sad at everything that had always directed towards him.

“Why?! Why are you so mean to me Kihyun?! I know it’s not as bad as what the others do but why?!” Kihyun didn’t say a word, only hugging the fragile boy with many holes and cracks that nobody knew. “I trusted you to be there for me just like Shownu-hyung, but you just turned your back on me. I don’t want you near me but, I can’t push you away because there’s no one else here to help me! I hate you! I hate you; I hate you, I hate you!”

Changkyun pounds his fist again in shaking anger, as Kihyun himself started to cry a bit, the guilt unable to hold it in much longer. He felt sorry, he honestly did, and when the older saw how miserable Changkyun started looking, he felt his heart sink at the sight, yet, still turning away. He wished he was a better hyung, knowing that being the youngest isn’t easy. The boy in his arms wasn’t like the ones he heard in the online rumors, Kihyun felt like he was the cheater, cheating on his responsibilities to care for the other, leaving him to deal with things mostly on his own.

“I’m sorry, Changkyun. I should have been a better hyung to you. I should have done what Shownu-hyung did and forgot everything, but I didn’t. I let Minhyuk, Wonho, Jooheon, and Hyungwon, as well as the internet, to tell me about how you truly were when that wasn’t you at all. You’re not worthless.”

“Please hyung, don’t do anything that you don’t want to do. Leave me alone.” Changkyun’s threat seemed like nothing now, and Kihyun pulled him to the couch, both of them sitting down.

After an hour, Changkyun calmed down a little, his grip still tight on Kihyun’s shirt as his breathing slowed down to a decent speed, hiccupping and sniffling occasionally. Although Changkyun was in the warmth and comfort of his hyungs arms, he still felt that thought creep up into his mind and tell him different.

_‘Kihyun doesn’t care about you. He’s just taking pity out on you. You truly are worthless.’_

A pat on his head seems to throw the thought away, fingers soon playing with his hair, making Changkyun almost forget all the pain that he had dealt with so far. Changkyun felt lost; he didn’t know what to do, who to trust, and how to get by the next day. He felt as if he were being pulled in a tug-of-war, and on the other ends was something he didn’t know about yet. The younger hoped to find out his result and who could be the one pulling him to whichever side, but for now, he’ll have to thank the vocalist for the warmth that will cover up his darkness for now.  
_  
After another hour, the other members come inside the dorm, exhausted and laughing as they close the door behind them with bags in their hands from grocery shopping. The five members stop in their tracks, looking at the sight that showed on the couch of Kihyun and Changkyun cuddled with each other. Shownu smiled at the sight, seeing how both look content with one another while the others look on in confusion.


	5. Thoughts, Lyrics and Jooheon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hectic week but here it is! This chapter I added slight humor to bring up a bit of mood. :) Thank you for those who comment as it really means a lot to me!

Changkyun woke up as the lights from the window were blinding, noticing he was still cuddled in the arms of the vocalist as the memory came back to him of the recent incident. He confronted the older for the way he treated him, not expecting the other to take it pretty well. All the younger wanted to do that day was to sleep off everything, he couldn’t try and get away from the older with all the questions towards him; Kihyun, who was trying to care, turned out to become slightly annoying instead, sort of like the grip around him. The younger tried his best to move, the arms circling him holding the rapper in place, his bruises still hurting as well. He didn’t know what time it was now, the whole dorm silent as if a whisper could wake up the vocalist. The rapper was comfortable, possibly the best sleep so far since he first came, enjoying the warmth and softness as he gave off a feeling of a cat; the cuddly, and pleasant heat. If Changkyun had slept with Shownu, he could only imagine it would be sleeping with a giant bear; the younger not thinking bad of the idea. Looking down at his hyung, Changkyun noticed the soft look on the others face, sleeping soundly, and the brunette would enjoy the quiet and peaceful situation more if he didn’t have to use the restroom.

Changkyun, after quite a while successfully moved away from the older, making his way to the bathroom. Turning on the faucet and pouring a decent amount of Epson salt into the hot tub that started to rise, the brunette stripped off his clothes in slow movements. When the bath finally filled, he stepped into the water, soaking his weakened body as he let out a relieved sigh. The warmth of the water untightening all the knots he felt in his body as it felt as though it was healing him, the weight on his shoulders lifting up for just a brief moment. For once, Changkyun felt at peace with the silence around him, to unwind and feel comfortable, even though he knew that would change. The only thing that was worrying was how bathrooms to him always seemed to bring out his many thoughts; it was a room that let out many things he had on his mind, good or bad, and it always led him into a trance. It was as if his brain went on automatic, making him think about everything and anything. The younger sunk into the tub further, reaching just below his chin as he closed his eyes and once again took in the silence.

_‘Do it…’_

There was the voice that always crept up behind him when his guard was down, popping up in places where Changkyun felt alone and vulnerable.

_‘It’s not messy. Just put your head under water.’_

Changkyun moved his hands over his ears although there was no outside force speaking, it was only in his head, and he started to panic. There was no way to block away from the thoughts coming at him as if they were hitting him like rocks thrown repeatedly. Small, mumbling whispers emit from the rapper’s mouth, trying his best to reject the negative comments his mind thrown at him.

_‘If you do it, you won’t have to worry about anything anymore. Nobody will bother you, and you can be forever at peace…’_

Unable to handle it, Changkyun unplugged the tub stopper to drain the water that had calmed him down minutes ago, his happy and relaxed thoughts now going down the pipes as well. He turned on the faucet once again, trying his best to sound out the things in his head with the noise of the running water. As he switched to turn the shower head on, the temperature of the water felt as if it was boiling, his skin that made contact almost feeling as if it was peeling; and a small scream coming out of his mouth. The brunette jumps back, quickly turning down the lava-like water to a pleasant warmth that made him relax under the spray, sighing in relief once again.

“Changkyun?” The door flies open, and the rapper shuts the shower curtain further to hide his body. He didn’t want to show his weak and messed up self to his members, afraid of what could happen. The person revealed to be Kihyun, his head peeking in as his face contorted to worry. “I'm sorry to barge in on you. You didn't hurt yourself did you?”

Changkyun stood awkwardly as his hands were on the curtain which covered his body, making eye contact with the other when he was fully naked. He shook his head, grabbing the rubber cloth. He wasn't aware that he never closed or locked the bathroom door. “I-I'm fine Hyung. Honest.”

“Why are you behind the curtain like that? We’re both men. You aren't hiding anything are you?” Kihyun probed a little more, trying his best to get the younger to stop whatever he was doing, his instinct feeling right when the other stiffens up at his words. Changkyun’s shyness and his knitted eyebrows scrunched together in worry said differently. “You’re not like doing anything weird are you?”

The lowering of Kihyun’s voice confused the younger. “What do you mean?”

“Like, you’re not hiding a dildo, or anything are you?”

“Hyung!” Changkyun’s ears turn bright red, hiding behind the curtain even more in embarrassment, unable to wrap the idea of how the vocalist slipped those words out with ease. He didn’t know if he should laugh, fall to the floor, be creeped out or anything that followed; the mention of the word put a shiver down Changkyun’s spine. “No! I don’t have … dildo.”

If Changkyun wasn’t embarrassed before, he undoubtedly was now as he slipped the inhuman word out of his mouth; hoping the shower would wash away the naughty feeling. Kihyun laughed, raising an eyebrow and making the younger feel slightly uncomfortable, in a funny way.

“Are you sure? If it makes you feel any better or doesn’t make you feel alone, I own one.”

“Kihyun!”

“Fine fine, I’m joking. Maybe, but, if you need any help, shout my name.”

“Okay, okay now get out.”

Changkyun waves away the older out of the bathroom, giving the younger a small amount of time to process the weird interaction with his bandmate. He wasn’t expecting the vocalist to spew out such words, especially revealing too much information about himself; even though it made Changkyun feel a little closer to Kihyun. Oddly. To say such private details showed how much Kihyun trusted him, knowing that he would now probably be hearing all of the older’s private thoughts and things he would share. Changkyun wasn’t sure if he was happy or scared for what was to come, but he knew it was too early to become happy. After letting go of the curtain, he finishes up in the bathroom and washes his body; the slightest touch was making him jump at how sensitive everything was. Even though the sweet massaging beads of water fell against his body, the contact of the sponge against the skin was something different. It was as if many hands pressed against all the injuries around his body; the pressure squeezing harder the more he continued. Changkyun turns off the water, stepping out and wrapping himself in a towel from the cabinet, soon realizing that he had never gotten clothes for himself. For the moment, he felt stuck in the small, hot and slightly fogged room, unsure how to get his change of pajamas without being spotted. He pushed open the door and slid his head out, hearing the sounds of what seemed to be Kihyun cooking (the only good cook), and quietly tiptoed to the room. Peeking inside, Minhyuk and Jooheon are both in their beds sleeping soundly with light snores coming from them as they tossed and turned. Changkyun sneaked his way to the dresser drawer, slowly pulling it out and searching for his clothes. After successfully finishing up and putting his favorite pink sweater on, Kihyun comes inside as if on cue.

“Ah, there you are.” The vocalist stops, tilting his head as he looked at the maknae from head to toe, slowly moving towards him. “Did you get a bigger sweater?”

“No. I’ve had this for awhile.”

“Really? Last time I saw it on you, it had fit you nicely.”

“Oh.” Was all Changkyun said as he looked down to see his sweater was slightly bigger but, he paid not much attention to it. He shrugged his shoulders, causing the other to worry about his health that didn’t seem like a problem to the brunette.

“Well, I do want you to eat. I haven’t given you anything to eat at all. Come.”

Kihyun reaches towards the younger, who in return flinches away as he moves back, a reflex that he didn’t think would happen. Kihyun stares once again, eyes widened as his mind clouded up with confusion, leaving Changkyun to hang his head. He honestly felt terrible at his action towards the other, he doesn’t let anyone touch him other than Shownu, and the boys just did as they pleased.

“Sorry, I…”

“You don’t have to apologize. It was my fault for trying to grab you. Just come with me okay.”

Changkyun nodded, following the other into the kitchen as he knew that he wouldn’t be able to decline for so many times, deciding to go with the other. Kihyun ushered for the younger to sit down on the dining room chair, watching the older move about in the kitchen. After some time the vocalist placed a plate of kimbap, bulgogi, and rice with some side dishes. Changkyun looked at the plate of food as he tilted his head, looking up towards Kihyun as if he wasn’t sure it was okay for him to eat. A small smile came across the older’s lips, nodding his head as he began to dig into the food.

“Thanks, hyung.” Changkyun looked back down as he picked up the chopsticks given to him, taking a bite. The flavor was melting into his mouth as the spices seeming to bring his taste buds back to him, his empty stomach thanking him. A small moan emitted from him for how he didn’t know how long it was to eat real food, as there was no time to get it anywhere else. Some of the members would comment about his acne coming out more, or he already looked too chubby, and Changkyun didn’t want that. He would hide in a few crackers but, the younger didn’t want to eat just soup or a sandwich; it didn’t satisfy him enough. It was painful to smell from the room the aroma of food coming from the kitchen as if it was taunting him, wanting him to come out and make a fool out of himself, but, the brunette held himself back.

Kihyun laughed a little, the reaction from the rapper amusing yet sad and eye-opening. It made him realize just how much Changkyun was missing out, for how long he didn’t eat, and that hit the older in many places. Showing just how much he had neglected the younger, who should be a babied and cared for, not to turn on the other. The maknae looks up in question, feeling the eyes of the other on him, and looks up to make more awkward eye contact. The action was always frequent between both of them.

“Sorry, I was thinking. If you want more food, I can make you another plate.”

“But, you always say there’s no more for a second.”

Kihyun pauses, clearing his throat. “Well, Shownu and Wonho have been eating a little too much, so I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Thanks, hyung, but, I think I’m alright.”

Changkyun goes back to eating, and KIhyun does the same in silence, both not saying anything for a while. When they finish their food, the other members soon wake up slowly and make their way into the living room, seeing the odd pair casually around each other. Another smile forms on Shownu’s face, leaving Changkyun with a pat on his shoulder. It gives him hope that slowly, but surely the others will soon come through.  
_

“No, do it again.”

Jooheon pushes the notebook and pen back at the younger rapper, upset and uninterested at what he was working on, not wishing to speak further. The older goes back to writing, paying no attention to the maknae who stands there in disbelief.

“Really? Are you serious? But, you didn’t even read the other parts.”

“Do you think people will be attracted to your rap if they don’t even like the first lines? I’m telling you to write it again.”

Changkyun slumps his shoulders, taking back the notebook and sitting down at the other table to work on the rap again as he tears the page out. It had been his tenth time coming up with a part for his rap but, Jooheon didn’t take a liking to any and was given the same response every time. He never received any feedback or any advice to improve except for the unnecessary comments or grunts. The younger kept walking back to the same pity seat to rewrite what came to mind best, only to be shoved away in disinterest. The words scribbled on the paper with no thoughts at all, his irritation writing themselves. He shut his eyes, silently sighing as he looked up at the ceiling light which of course lit up the room. Once the brunette got his thoughts back together, he looked back down and viewed his words again, his eyes widening.

_‘I want to escape the pain that I am stuck in._  
_Stuck in this hell hole that sucks me in deeper_  
_Scared of what might come next will be the reaper_  
_To end all the suffering, the mask that hides true feelings_  
_Covering the lies of what happens behind the scenes_  
_Like the shirt that covers my bleeding scars_  
_Spread out against my frail body like stars_  
_Ones that didn’t make me happy or ever highlighted my life_  
_The dark tunnel in which I followed, as I closed my eyes and accepted my fate.’_

Changkyun’s eyes widened, quickly tearing the page out of his notebook as panic ran through his veins, placing the crumpled paper into his pocket. He glanced behind his shoulder, Jooheon still writing lyrics down and had not even turned to check on him. The younger started to focus back on his task and began writing, placing the earbuds in his ear to get another feel for the song. He knew the song title was named Blue Moon, yet, words couldn’t form the right lines in his head. After about thirty minutes, he gets up again and hands the paper to Jooheon, biting his bottom in anticipation.

“Again.”

“What?”

Changkyun looked down at his paper, anger rising within him.

“But, isn’t this good enough?”

“Again.”

Jooheon turned his head away, and Changkyun slammed his hand on the desk, the action surprising the weak hearted member. The older looked up in confusion and shock, watching the younger yell at him in anger and frustration.

“But, this is my eleventh time coming to you for any approval! At least tell me what I’m doing wrong or something! What do you want from me?”

“I want you to make lyrics! Do you think this shit will cut it! If you want to be a rapper not only do your emotions have to come out through your mouth, but they also come from the lyrics. You got to feel these words, and I’m not feeling anything. Do. It. Again. If not you can get out of here and walk around or something if that will help you. I don’t want anymore half-assing.”

Changkyun bit his tongue, looking towards the exit as Jooheon focused back on his notebook, knowing his job was done with the younger. The brunette didn’t want to go into the hallways alone, afraid of what horrors could occur just beyond the other side, not wanting to get beaten up again. The thought shuddered him, and he shook his head, clutching the books of pages against him, walking back to the other desk.

“I’ll stay and do it again.”


	6. Sadness, Tears and Night Time Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the fifth chapter! I read all of the comments and thank you so much! I reply to them soon after I finish up some personal stuff! Enjoy!

The younger pair walks out of the small room they occupied for the past two hours, walking down the hallway in silence and yet again, Changkyun’s lyrics got rejected. It wasn’t like this when he created his rap for Trespass or the final version of No Exit, but, he blames everything that has been going on recently for his lack of concentration. He started to push the group behind, causing more stress on everyone and he didn't want to delay their debut date. Down the hallway came the boys, chatting and laughing loudly, making the younger shift behind the rapper and hide his face in his oversized hoodie as usual. He didn't want them to notice him, and he was afraid they would pull him aside just to have a 'chit-chat.' Passing by the pair who don’t pay any mind to him and Changkyun kept his mouth shut, wanting to say something but, he couldn’t find it in him. Instead, they walked past each other as if they had never encountered one another, and the brunette wished that that had been true. When the members reach the outside of the company building, Jooheon stops as he looks down at his phone. The younger stands there in silence, nervously shifting his feet and fiddling with his fingers.

“Kihyun says we can go to a quick fast food restaurant. We can meet him there.”

“Oh, okay. I can come?”

“Well, you if you didn’t, Shownu would possibly beat us up, and I did say we didn't I? Pay attention.”

Jooheon shrugged him off and continued to walk, leaving the younger behind to catch and figure what was happening next. The pair walks in silence to the nearest food joint where the members were, stepping inside to see the others sitting down as they chatted happily. Minhyuk, Hyungwon and Wonho’s face soon turn from joy to disappointment, reaching out for either a piece of their food or a drink to make it not visible but, it was. The younger knew that he was always a mood-killer when he was around, wanting just to turn around and walk back out. Changkyun wanted to make up something and say that he wanted to go to the dorm but, he knew someone would follow him or he would ruin the mood (even though it wasn't a great one). He placed himself between Kihyun and Shownu who opened up a spot for him, both smiling at the younger and giving him some reassurance.

“No one ordered anything except fries and drinks so, what do you guys want?” Shownu spoke up, looking at the menu from afar.

“I think I’ll have a hamburger.” Responds Minhyuk and Wonho nods.

“Same.” Hyungwon says as he takes a sip of his drink.

“I think we all came here to have a burger.” Jooheon points out, and everyone nods. Shownu turns to the maknae who has been silent for quite a while.

“What about you Changkyun? Do you prefer anything different?”

Changkyun looks up in surprise from hearing his name, all eyes turning to him which makes him feel uncomfortable. His body almost feels numb, and his mouth opens, but nothing comes out, only to have Hyungwon speak up instead. His tone of voice a little harsh and blunt as everyone turns their attention to him, making the younger slip further down in his seat.

“Fast food is too greasy for his skin. Maybe a salad could help him.”

“Hyungwon, Changkyun hasn’t been eating anything nutritious lately. I’m not saying that this is healthy but, he hasn’t eaten anything. Maybe we can get by with a small burger for just a day. I mean we all got paid a little money.” Kihyun turns to the tallest, making Changkyun look at the pair in surprise.

“Well, that’s why get him a salad. That’s good for you right?”

“But-”

"I don't know why you're nice to him Kihyun. He's a cheater, and you said so yourself, now you wanna act like the good guy?"

"Yeah what's up with that?" Wonho speaks up, folding his arms as his hat makes him look scarier by the way it slightly covers his face. "You were the one who told us that you didn't want him eating greasy food."

"Listen-" Kihyun starts, his voice irritated and slightly raised but he stopped in the middle of the sentence.

“Hamburgers it is got it,” Shownu says, preventing a further fight and moves to go order their food, leaving the table tense. Nobody says anything else, and Kihyun places his hand on Changkyun’s knee for comfort under the table. Changkyun looked at the vocalist, a small smile on his lips and he stares back down, disappearing, and it worries the older. Kihyun silently sighed, looking up as they waited for the oldest to arrive with the food. The older wanted to say something, a sorry or any apology but, with table tense, he didn't feel as if it was the place to bring up the issue again.

After a few moments, Shownu comes back to the table with two trays of food in his hands, and everyone (except Changkyun) gets excited, their eyes lighting up, almost drooling like hungry animals. The food gets put in the middle of the table, and all the members grab a wrapped burger; Shownu grabbing one for Changkyun and the younger thanked him. Everyone eats which makes Changkyun feel out of place by how all the members were around him, never once eating with the others. He still hasn’t gotten used to the feeling of being around everyone except for dancing in the studio and during No.Mercy. Shownu places a cup in front of Changkyun, the younger wasn’t sure if it had either water or soda in it, but he didn’t question it out loud.

“Hey, Jooheon, how did the writing go? Any progress?” Shownu asked, always wanting updates on how everyone was doing on the album.

“No progress as usual.” He says bluntly, and Changkyun looks down in disappointment. “We never get anything done now.”

“Maybe just a writing block?” Kihyun proposes the idea, and Jooheon scoffs, taking a sip of his drink.

Changkyun bit his tongue from talking back, not wanting the others to gain up on him and having Shownu and Kihyun to break it up. Especially, if they were in public and the image of them arguing wouldn’t look good since they would debut soon.

_

When they arrived at the dorm, Kihyun calls out to Changkyun who walks quickly towards the room and the others make their way to the living room to watch something or waste time. Shownu sees Kihyun making his way to where the younger went, about to check himself until Minhyuk distracts him with a question. Kihyun opens the door to their shared room, seeing the lump of blankets where Changkyun laid under like a hermit crab. A soft sigh leaves the vocalists lips, softly closing the door behind him.

“Changkyun…”

“Go away hyung. I don’t want to talk to anybody.”

“Aw, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Changkyun hears a small laugh, footsteps coming to his bunk and then stop. “If you’re under the blankets like that, it doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“Go away.”

“Aw, Changkyun-ie.” Kihyun hops onto the top bunk, pulling the blanket off of Changkyun who holds it down from being lifted. He wanted to be left alone, and Kihyun was irritating him, even if the vocalist tried his best to make the younger happy. Changkyun did feel the generosity but, he felt that Kihyun was trying too hard. The older pulls harder, finally getting the blanket off and the light hurts the rapper's eyes, rubbing them as they shined in the sun. “Are you crying Changkyun?”

He shook his head, turning into a small ball. “No, I’m sweating.”

Kihyun wraps his arms around the younger who started to sob once again, not able to hold it in with the mix of Kihyun’s touch. Changkyun wants to scream, kick and hit to get his point across, his heart aching at all the hate thrown at him. He just wanted to crawl into a hole and cry, wishing he had listened to the thoughts he had back when he was in the shower. Hoping he had just put his head under water never to come up again, leave the pain and sorrow and hopefully they would be happy that he was gone.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“You not doing anything Changkyun. You probably feel overwhelmed okay? It will pass. ” Kihyun pats the younger’s head, calming him down as his breath starts to become erratic, almost going to a panic attack. He moves out of his blanket shell, crawling to the older and clutching onto him, crying more into his shirt (looking like a kid who got hurt while playing too rough). “Don’t worry Changkyun.”

“Is everything alright?” Shownu comes inside, looking at the pair on the top bunk and comes inside as his looks on worried. "Well, pretend I never asked that question."

“Changkyun has a lot going on for him. He probably didn’t appreciate Jooheon’s comment earlier about the lyric writing.”

“Geez, they need to start watching what they say.” Shownu steps closer, going up the bunk as well, crowding the small space that only fit two, but even that was too much.

“Shownu, you’re going to break the bed.” Kihyun’s eyes widened, hearing a small squeak of the screws as the oldest sat in an empty section of the bed, his build not fitting the top bunk.

“What did you want to do Changkyun?”

“Cry.”

“Come on Changkyun, don’t say that. It’ll be better; I know it will be.” Shownu reassures, patting the youngers back as usual. He wraps his arms around the younger as well, the two vocalists sandwiching him.

“I bet if I wasn’t here or never debuted that you’d all be happier right?”

The sentence throws the older hyungs off, staring at each other in both questions and worry as silent sobs still come from the younger. They look off to the side, Kihyun scratching the back of his neck as they never thought such words would come out from Changkyun. They didn’t know what he had meant when he told them if he wasn’t in the band had a deeper and dark meaning, but either way, it scared Shownu and Kihyun.

“That’s not true Changkyun.” Kihyun tried to make his voice not sound as if he was worried but he couldn’t help but leave a hint of it.

“We don’t think that of you. We’re glad you’re here with us.”

Changkyun doesn’t say anything, his sobs wetting Kihyun’s shirt and the pair don’t question it further, but they keep an eye out for any other suspicious activity.

“Shownu-hyung~! The movie is going to start!” Wonho shouts from the living room. Shownu grunts and makes his way down the bed, looking up in worry for the vocalist and the rapper.

“Sorry, I’ll go calm them down. I’ll take you out to eat something with me Changkyun. But, You are special to us okay?”

Changkyun nods, and Kihyun tightens his grip on the younger to make sure he never went anywhere or to make him feel less lonely. “I’ll stay here,” Kihyun says, earning a nod from the leader. Shownu walks out, closing the door lightly and the vocalist pulls away from the older to take a closer look at his tear-stained face, wiping away the waterfall. He brushes away Changkyun’s long bangs, not being able to say anything else to the other. Changkyun doesn’t want to look so weak and vulnerable, but his pain and suffering have now seemed to be a breaking point for him. He wants to run out of the dorm to never be seen again, everyone will be happy and they can move on, hopefully bringing back Gunhee if they so desired.

“Do you want to take a nap?” Kihyun asks as he wipes some more tears, and the brunette nods his head. The older nods his head back, getting off the bunk to change his shirt and climb up to once more wrap his arms around the younger. The bed that’s usually fitted for one, it’s a tight space for the two, making the pair closer than before. Changkyun wishes he can just close his eyes and forget about everything and anything.

_

“Changkyun, Kihyun want’s know if you have anything that needs to go in the laundry?”

Shownu walks into the room as Changkyun sits on his top bunk playing the phone game that he usually plays. Now that he can take a break, he can be able to work his mind and distract himself from the bruises that still hurt. They had slowly started to heal, but, with how many he had on his body, it would take quite some time. The younger nodded his head, pointing to the small basket that had his clothes inside as well as Minhyuk’s, Jooheon’s and Kihyun’s also. Shownu grabbed the dirty clothes, turning to leave until the rapper stopped the other, making him turn around in question.

“Hyung, is it okay if I take a walk outside? I want to get my thoughts together, and maybe it will help me to write some lyrics.”

“Uh, sure, if it’ll calm you from your writing block then sure.  Don’t stay out for too long and be sure to have your phone with your ringtone on.”

“Okay, dad.” Changkyun laughed, making Shownu smile back and walk towards where Kihyun was doing the laundry.

Changkyun slowly got out of bed, looking around before changing his clothes and grabbing his phone as he walked out into the living room. Minhyuk, Jooheon, Wonho, and Hyungwon don’t pay any attention to the younger, eyes glued to either their phone or the television. Changkyun walks out of the dorm, using the elevator to go to the ground floor and out the building with ease, the fresh air hitting his face. He walks down the sidewalk and into the busy streets, the cars and people passing by as he hides further into his hoodie. He doesn’t plan on staying out for too long, but by the way, he moves around could come out that way. His body ached, walking around was hurting, but he couldn’t do anything or else it won’t help him heal. Instead, it will leave him locked in that room with his thoughts. With the small amount of money Changkyun has saved up, he decides to treat himself with something he likes, and that, of course, would be food. Although he does enjoy Kihyun’s food (even though he ate it once) the younger wants something that he doesn’t need to be scared for asking for, not to be criticized about his acne scars or how the grease can be bad for his face. The brunette finds himself at a small restaurant, ordering himself a bowl of ramen that he knows he wouldn’t be able to eat at the dorm because of Wonho. Any cup of noodles was Wonho’s, and even if it weren’t his, he’d still take it from you, and he’d always get seconds. But this time, Changkyun could be able to eat in peace (a feeling of wanting Shownu and Kihyun next to him). His food arrives, and Changkyun happily takes a huge bite, not caring about how hot it was, filling up his empty stomach, and it puts him in a state of bliss, smiling wide as he hadn’t been able since the start of No.Mercy. It was correct that he did laugh and smile but, that was mostly on camera and behind the lens wasn’t his real feelings. Changkyun wanted to eat with all his members and laugh around with them as the emotions would be genuine yet, the younger was alone at the moment; sitting at the table by himself.

Once he finished his bowl, he paid for his food and left the restaurant to go back out to the cold, rubbing his hands together for warmth and beginning to walk back out. A honk of a car horn directs his attention to the street, his mind once more going to that same dark place that he always seems to come to overtake his body; like a trance.

_‘Do it…’_

 

Changkyun shook his head and looked away from the blinding street and headlights, closing his eyes to try and hide the thoughts.

_‘You’re all alone. All you have to do is run in front of a car and end it.’_

__

“No…” Changkyun told himself and walked away from the edge of the sidewalk and closer to the buildings. As a sort of getaway, the younger steps inside a coffee shop, the heavy aroma filling him up with the scents of vanilla and caramel, the hot, warm air heating up his slightly cold body. He orders himself a hot beverage, getting a cold drink for Kihyun and Shownu as well just to thank them for taking care of him (slowly forgiving Kihyun). Changkyun leaves the coffee shop with three cups in the to-go tray, his other hand with a small bag of sweets. Before anything can hurt him, the younger believes that going back to the dorm is the safest option.

His happy (somewhat) yet, short walk ends quickly than he would have liked, stepping foot inside the building once again and up the elevator. Exiting out, Changkyun steps inside the dorm, the same scene of the members looking at the television except, Jooheon wasn’t on the couch. Kihyun was in the kitchen cooking, and Shownu was helping him (poorly), and when the pair looks at the younger walk in, their eyes filled with relief and worry.

“I got you some coffee and sweets,” Changkyun said quietly, making a small smile appear on both of them yet, the worry didn’t disappear from their eyes. They take the items from the younger, Kihyun clutching the cup nervously and Shownu messing around with the cardboard holder. Something was wrong, and Changkyun could feel it in the air, their presence, their eyes, the way they talked, something had happened.

“Thanks, Changkyun. Is it okay if we talk to you about something?”


	7. Paper, Questions and Upset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! A few figured out what the conversation could be about!And I hope you enjoy this chapter!! Thank you so much!

Changkyun nods his head, following Shownu, and Kihyun as he wasn't sure what they needed to talk to him about as he didn't do anything wrong as far as he knew. They walk over to the shared room where Changkyun and the three members sleep, and Jooheon was sitting in the bed, looking a little nervous. The second youngest member looks at the maknae, turning his head which makes the other question what's going on. From what had happened earlier today, Changkyun believes that the older two members would only talk about what went on at the fast food joint, apologies about to slip through his mouth. That is until, Kihyun puts down his coffee cup on the dresser, taking out a piece of paper from his pocket. And at that point, Changkyun’s blood runs cold, starting to sweat as he looked down at his clothing. He forgot he changed his clothes and remembered Shownu took the laundry, leaving his thoughts for everyone to know. Almost everyone.

“Is this yours Changkyun?” Kihyun unfolds the paper, the words of the younger’s deepest thoughts that he wished to never shared staring back at himself. It made him feel a bit uneasy with the other three members looking at him, still unsure why Jooheon was inside as well. He was with Jooheon at the time he wrote it but, he didn't have anything of importance. “We won’t do anything bad to you of course. We only want to know.”

“We asked Jooheon, but he said he didn’t have such paper. It came from your pocket too but, did you write it?” Shownu says, looking towards Jooheon as if he had to say something next.

"Yeah, when you showed me your lyrics I remembered the type of paper you used since it came out of a notebook rather than loose paper." Jooheon rubs his hand nervously, looking anywhere else but Changkyun. He looked almost as if he was scared or something of that sorts.

“Yeah, I wrote it.” Changkyun looks down at the floor, his mind trailing to the window near him for an escape route. However, he was too far from the ground and jumping was out of the question; or would he take that risk?

“Was it because of anything I said back when we were writing lyrics?” Jooheon quietly questions, getting an answer of silence and that justified everything for him.

“Changkyun, I hope you know that stuff like this worries us.” Kihyun brings Changkyun’s attention back to him, the younger never taking his eyes off the floor.

“It’s only words.”

“Changkyun, we know that may not true.” Shownu sighs, stopping for a moment to gather his thoughts. “With what you said earlier to us, this paper doesn’t seem like just words.”

“Will you tell us what's bothering you maybe? We’re just worried about you.”

“Kihyun-hyung, everything’s fine. I promise. I was only thinking up some lyrics that’s all.”

“But, these are pretty dark. It doesn’t match the music at all so, with you who knows the beat well, it seems odd.” Jooheon says, making Changkyun curse in his head. He was right since they both had listened to the music together, the younger got caught in his lie.

“Well, I never said it was any song for the album. I was thinking up some lyrics for my mixtape that I planned on making in the future. Please hyungs, don’t make a bigger deal out of it than what it seems. I swear there’s no ill intention.”

Kihyun and Shownu both open their mouth to say something, trying their best not to yell out their frustration at how nonchalant Changkyun was. Jooheon stays quiet, the air awkward and he also wishes to leave the room, unsure how to deal with the situation. The younger didn’t want to talk about the letter, not about anything and just wished he came back to the dorm with no worries. It sucked how he got away from all the tense and choking air, only to go back and be in it once again. To not discuss any more about the topic, Changkyun slides his feet to the leader, circling his arms around him in silence. Kihyun sighs, looking at the paper and reading it once again as a shiver goes down his spine at the choice of words. Never did he believe that the younger would write such things, his view on Changkyun taking a big turn. Shownu comforts the maknae who silently embraces his hyung, everyone who was in the room knowing that the younger didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Shownu looked down at the younger,

Kihyun takes the cup of coffee and drinks it as it releases all the tension that had grown on him in the room, still looking at the leader and younger, a cute sight indeed. Jooheon nods his head, getting up and leaving with no other words, slightly shocked and at a loss for words.

“I’m going to go back and cook. Changkyun did you want to help?” Kihyun offers and the younger nods his head, slowly pulling away from Shownu who gives him a pat on his back.

The trio makes it out to the living room, a place that Changkyun dreads to be in, and wishes he could decline his hyung and ask to go to bed early. His body started to ache again, and he honestly hated himself for not saying to take a break. The younger passes the lively group once again, Jooheon just staring out the window and lost in his thoughts as Changkyun knew what he could be thinking. Changkyun didn’t want his feelings heard; he was angry that they didn’t do anything before and treated him like a ghost. They didn’t see how depressed he was and it was their fault; partially. It was the company’s fault too for throwing him in the middle of No.Mercy, but that didn’t mean for the trainees to treat him like shit. The younger had forever been calling out for help, even just a simple question of are you okay? Changkyun tears his eyes away from the second youngest, shuffling his feet over to Kihyun in the kitchen where the older began to continue his work.

“Thanks for the coffee and sweets Changkyun.” Shownu came up behind the younger, rubbing his back which hurt Changkyun, the fabric rubbing against the bruises. The brunette flashes a pained smile masked with cute dimples as a distraction, a small nod coming from him.

“No worries hyung. It’s a thank you.”

Shownu smiles back, giving a small kiss on his forehead, one that a father would give to his son and Changkyun honestly felt like crying. He wanted to leave the place he was scared to call home, but, he also wanted to push aside the hate and just run up and cuddle with everyone on the couch. To throw himself straight at the other members and act like a total maknae; throwing out his disgusting aegyo.

“Can you cut these for me Changkyun? You can dice them pretty small.” Kihyun places green onions in front of the younger, taking him away from his thoughts. “Well, I can cut them. You can stir the pot instead.”

Kihyun nervously smiled, moving Changkyun in front of the boiling pot of ramen and taking over the younger’s task. Changkyun knows that the brunette was scared of having him use a knife after what happened with the note, knowing that Jooheon, Kihyun, and Shownu have a whole different view on Changkyun, and he tried his best to seem as if he was alright. The rapper heard the knife hitting the cutting board as it chopped the vegetables, and he occasionally stirs as the other wanted.

_‘Just take the knife…’_

There it was once again, the thoughts in his head coming back to haunt him and control his actions. Changkyun’s eyes shifted to his right to where Kihyun was chopping, staring at the sharp blade that would be able to end everything in that one second. If he did it right, he could stab that one spot, and it would be too late, but if he didn’t, it would disappoint everyone who didn’t want him.

_‘Or better yet, go take the one in the drawer and use that…’_

“Changkyun?” Kihyun looks at the younger in confusion, breaking Changkyun away from his thoughts, looking at the older. “You've been staring at the pot. Is everything alright?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Changkyun stirs the contents, paying no attention the thoughts in his head. Kihyun hesitantly chops the vegetables again, taking glances at the younger, and keeping a close eye on him. Changkyun has to be more aware not to show his weak markings that painted his skin. He wanted to distance himself, but with the two vocalists now starting to breathe down his neck was going to be hard. The younger still wasn’t trustworthy of Kihyun, his actions somewhat forceful and annoying, possibly thinking that if Shownu hadn’t said anything, Kihyun would ignore him till now. But for the moment, Changkyun would have to deal with the older.

Kihyun placed the cut vegetables into the pot while Changkyun stirred, the fire soon being turned off.

“Sit on the table. I'm almost done with the food.”

“Oh, I thought that I could skip th-” Kihyun looked at Changkyun, shutting him up before he could even be able to continue. “Okay, I’ll do that.”

Changkyun sat at the table, Shownu bringing everyone to come as the food finished. Shownu sat next to the younger, the other side of him empty as the members sat in other places and Jooheon sat across from him. Once making eye contact, Jooheon turns away, rubbing his legs in nervousness. Kihyun comes to the table with plates of food, scattering it around the table as the member's eye lit up. Everyone grabbed their chopsticks, empty plates put in front of them and they waited till all the food were finished placing.

“Eat up guys!”

“Looks great! This much food is for sure going to fill us up.” Minhyuk smiles brightly, his chopsticks going for the japchae and kimbap. Wonho thanks the vocalist, quickly heading towards the large bowl of ramen, which was expected. Jooheon makes his way towards the smaller dishes, avoiding the chaos with the main dishes, and Changkyun was doing the same. Kihyun sat beside Changkyun, grabbing his own chopsticks as he reaches for the dakgangjeong and placing it on his plate. It was Changkyun’s second time eating with everyone, the air, as usual, felt weird and tight, unable to shake off the feeling. Even though he had dinner with them a few more times, however, that was during No.Mercy and most of those were left with uneaten and unwanted food. As Minhyuk quoted, he had felt sick to his stomach when saw the younger; Wonho saying a similar thing, as well as, being told he should have never come. Changkyun slowly chews on the bean sprouts, his plate still clean and nothing on it, until Shownu puts some kimbap and some bulgogi.

“Don’t be afraid,” Shownu whispers, smiling as he puts some food on the younger's plate and eats, comfortably chatting with the other members. Until the time was right, Changkyun stays quiet as usual, nothing different and his presence was still unknown to some. Jooheon, however, was quiet and his movements slow as he ate, never looking down from his plate except for grabbing more food. The action was odd coming from him as he was always so vibrant.

“Did you hear about what happened on social media today?” Minhyuk brought up, and everyone's head shook. “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you didn’t see. What happened was that some of our fans were talking about our debut. They seem pretty excited.”

“I would hope that they would be excited. We’re working so hard for the Monbebes; I hope they can see our effort.” Wonho talks through a mouthful of noodles.

“I think we’ll make a strong image of our selves.” Shownu nods, taking a bite of bulgogi. Everyone else agrees and continues to eat, Changkyun reaching forward slowly towards some kimchi. He places some his plate, eating it as if the older members would take it away; like an animal grabbing a piece of meat and hiding it from view to eat. Changkyun continues to eat as he zones in and out on the conversation, knowing that nobody would mention him or ask him anything. For just a little while, the younger felt a little at ease; his guard still raised up high yet, he felt as if he takes it slowly, luck would be on his side. Changkyun reaches out for some kimbap, a pain shooting up his back as he groans loudly, pulling back his hand and knocking down some pickled cucumbers onto Minhyuk’s plate which was front and diagonal from him.

“What the fuck?!” Minhyuk scoots back in his chair and dropping his chopsticks on the floor, everyone in the table silent as they look at the scene.

“Min. What your mouth a little.” Shownu slightly scolds.

“Geez Changkyun, you are freaking kidding me?!” Changkyun looks down in disappointment and places his hands in his lap. So much for happy a peaceful dinner for once. “And I hate cucumbers!”

“Calm down Minhyuk. It was only an accident.” Kihyun looks at the older with confusion, not sure why it’s such a big commotion to go over.

“Okay, how would you like it if I spilled cranberries on your food then?”

“Min. Come on, let’s just all calm down okay?” Shownu speaks up again.

“Sorry hyung. I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Changkyun speaks up, and Minhyuk ignores, throwing his napkin down on the chair and standing up to leave.

“Yeah, you’re always sorry aren’t you?” Minhyuk says nothing more and goes to the room to possibly sulk, closing the bedroom door with a hard slam. Shownu sighs and Wonho gets up as well, not saying a word except a hard glare at Changkyun and then going inside the room Minhyuk went in.

“Great. Another dinner ruined.” Hyungwon throws his additional comment in as well, taking a bite with no further words. Kihyun and Jooheon say nothing, but Changkyun tries his best not to cry.

“Changkyun, it’ll get better okay? Just give it time.” Kihyun pats his back, making him stand up abruptly and yell.

“Is it okay? How much time do I need to give it?! I’ve waited, and waited and still nothing seems to get better! I have been told this from when the lineup was chosen, and yet I’m still miserable with all of you!”

The remaining four look up at the younger, Kihyun and Shownu in the most shock and Changkyun walks away, heading towards the bathroom as it was too late to go outside. He slams the door behind himself and locks it, sinking himself on the floor to cry out his frustrations. He hates the words ‘It will be fine,’ when nothing has really progressed and when he still feels so distraught. What’s the point in living if he feels like crap every day, his pain getting worse just like his emotions? Changkyun wished he never joined No.Mercy if he was going to be treated like dirt, and yet, dirt probably was still treated better than him. The younger was thankful for how he wasn’t in the only bathroom, but he knew that in the morning he would have to get up for schedules and what not. He grabbed a folded towel nearby, placing it inside the cold tub and then stepping inside. Thankfully, the bath was dry and didn’t have to worry about getting wet, huddling himself in a fetal position and laying on his side. Changkyun closed his eyes, trying his best to ignore the bright light that made it difficult for him to sleep. After a few moments, he drifts off, and once again, having to deal with the pain for what is to come tomorrow.  
_

A small shake stirs the maknae’s sleep, swatting away whatever tried to disturb his slumber, even though whatever he was sleeping in made his body hurt more. He didn’t remember much, his thinking a bit hazy and just waking up made it more difficult. Another shake and a faint call of his name slowly open his eyes, blinking to make out the face of the vocalist in the dark, looking down at him. Changkyun turns away from him with a grunt, not wanting to talk to him or even look at him anymore, upset at his ways to try and make things better.

“Changkyun, I know you’re upset, but Shownu and I want you inside the bed.”

“I locked the door, how did you get inside?”

“Shownu had to unscrew the knob.”

Changkyun doesn’t say another word to the other, and he hears a sigh from the older who shifts around and lays his back against the tub, sitting down on the floor. It’s silent for a moment, and Changkyun thinks about going back to sleep, knowing that Kihyun didn’t come inside to say it was time schedules, knowing that it was still night.

“Sorry.” Changkyun hears Kihyun say, just above a whisper. “I know you’re probably still upset with me. I just tried to make you feel better but, I guess I made things worse.”

Changkyun stays silent still, unsure what to say or if he should even move, trying to give off the impression that he’s still sleeping. Kihyun continues, getting up from the place he sat. “I do hope that things get better in the future Changkyun. I truly do. I won’t force you but please, come back to bed.”

And with that, Kihyun leaves the bathroom with the door open, illuminating what little light was out in the hallway. Changkyun wasn’t mad at Kihyun per say, annoyed indeed, but never mad. He was just upset at how he was told things could get better when nothing had progressed, and Shownu had been there from the start. The younger sits up, his body aching from the position he laid in, stretching his sore muscles and cracking his neck. He steps out of the tub, grabbing the towel and folding it back, placing it in the spot where he had found it. Changkyun tiptoes into the room, peeking in to see everyone sleeping and Kihyun back inside his bunk, looking as if he never left or woke up. The rapper looks at the alarm clock on the dresser, reading the time of eleven at night. He climbs up his bunk, pulling the covers over his body and snuggling up to the warmth that it gave him. Before Changkyun drifts off to sleep again, a faint voice was heard from behind him.

“Thanks.”


	8. Practice, Bullies and Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! This chapter is now up! I'm not sure how this fic will be but I guess we'll see right lol. I'm planning to do one-shots in between I'm not too sure yet. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you so much for reading and commenting and giving me kudos!

Changkyun wakes up a few hours later, earlier than Kihyun (surprisingly) and heads to the kitchen as he grabs a glass of water, chugging it down in seconds. He makes himself a quick bite of something to eat, heats up some leftover rice and bulgogi from last nights dinner. The younger sits on the couch that he hadn't sat on for a while, nervous and somewhat shaking as he reached for the remote. Changkyun hadn't watched any television for such a long time as well, using his phone instead for things to keep him updated and aware. He started to eat, changing the channels to cartoons he hadn't seen in awhile, his shoulders relaxing as he soaks in the feeling. After about thirty minutes, he hears footsteps coming closer to the living room, the younger frantically trying to pretend he wasn't there (which was not the brightest idea). Down the hallway comes as sleepy Jooheon as he rubs his eyes, shuffling his feet into the living room. He stares in confusion at Changkyun who looked at the other as if he caught doing something wrong.

“What are you doing?” Jooheon asks, scratching the back of his head.

“Um, watching television…” Changkyun didn't expect for the second youngest to speak to him, nodding his head as he stepped into the kitchen himself. The younger straightens his posture, trying his best to calm himself and turn his attention back to the screen. A few moments later, Jooheon sits near the younger, a space between them. Once again, the room was silent except the television that played the high pitched voices of characters, doing whatever they were doing in the show. Changkyun focuses his mind on the cartoon, not planning to open his mouth to talk, ignoring the other.

“Did you want to write some more lyrics later? Even though we're practicing our dances, we can work on Blue Moon again.”

“Sure, I guess.”

Jooheon nods his head, eating his food and turning his attention to the television.

After an hour, the others wake up, and the first member to wake up is Kihyun, looking into the room to see the younger two sitting on the couch. A small 'oh there you guys are' and goes back into the hallway to possibly wake up the others. Then it's Minhyuk who is awake, then Shownu, Wonho and lastly Hyungwon.

“You two woke up early, I'm proud,” Kihyun says, walking into the kitchen.

“We're going to practice No Exit today,” Shownu announces, looking down at his phone. “It looks like that's our second song to promote.”

Everyone nods and make themselves some food, and some were getting ready for the practices later on today. Changkyun gets up and heads to the room, grabbing his clothes needed for taking a shower and makes his way to the bathroom. He closes the door behind him, unable to lock it as the doorknob was gone. Changkyun forgot that Shownu unscrewed the bolts to be able to get inside, and the younger only shrugs. He turns on the water, stripping off his clothes and stepping inside the steaming water, hitting his back as the contact felt relaxing. Whenever he entered the shower, the only thing that was able to touch him was the warm water. It was a soft touch, sometimes not even feeling the stream against him. Changkyun sighed in relaxation, reaching out for the shampoo as he poured a small amount onto his hand and lathering his hair. The scent of peaches fills the air, confusing the younger at the sweet smell. After rinsing the soap out, he opens his eyes to see that he used Minhyuk's shampoo, groaning as he knew the older would flip. In a slight panic, Changkyun uses Shownu's shampoo, making him now smell like a manly girl.

He washes his body, soon getting out and drying himself, changing into clothes for hoping outside. He exits out, Wonho coming towards him to enter the bathroom and stops in his tracks, looking at the younger.

“Why do you smell like that?”

Changkyun stops, confused at how the older spoke to him like a human. “I accidentally used someone else's shampoo, and I tried to cover it using Shownu's.”

Wonho nods, not saying anything else and walks into the bathroom. _Odd._ Changkyun tilts his head, walking to the bedroom as he put on his face creams to avoid Hyungwon’s insults about his acne. Changkyun grabs his things, making his way to the van and cornering himself the window as he waited alone. He didn't want to appear as a distraction, moving out of the way for hyungs to concentrate. Changkyun took out his phone, playing his usual game to calm himself down and focus on other things. Moments later, the members slowly made their way inside as well until all seven made it inside. The van soon filled up, closing the door and the engine starts up, taking off to the building. Glancing up and out the window, Changkyun looked at the familiar streets as the businesses rolled by, and the lights almost blended when the car moved fast. He props his elbow up to the edge where the window was, using the armrest to stare out. The brunette wasn’t engaged in the conversations outside of his music, the earbuds playing soft tunes into his ears. The weather seemed as if it would rain, the sky turning monochrome, just like his mood that he’s feeling; dark with not much color. If only that when it rained, it would be quick to tell how much sadness he felt; to connect the two of their depressed state; letting out his feelings just as how easy as the rain was able to pour. Changkyun leaned his head onto the cold window, a satisfying feel against his skin; one of also comfort, and reassurance. A tap on his shoulder broke him away from his trance, looking to the right at the owner of the hand. He moved his head to see Shownu, his lips moving with no sound coming out, and Changkyun removes one earbud from his ear.

“It’s time to go inside.”

Changkyun nodded, turning off his music and organizing his things before moving out of the vehicle. He steps outside, a small drop hitting his face and he held out his hand as the slow rain dropped. The younger knew it would rain harder, and he makes it inside quickly to avoid getting wet. The group makes their way into the building, heading up for another dance lesson that Changkyun knew could go bad. What comes down the hallway is none other than the boys, laughing and chatting, soon spotting the younger who poorly tries to hide. A smirk appears on their face, walking over as they grab Changkyun’s wrist.

“Hey, guys! We need to borrow I.M for just a quick moment!”

Before anyone could react and reply, the pair walks away with Changkyun tagging along by force, turning a corner after walking down the hallway. The boys check if the halls are clear before throwing Changkyun in a dark closet, his back hitting against whatever was behind them. The sections that were spaced out felt as if he hit a shelf, especially when the items fell down. The younger rubbed his back as the pain stung throughout his body, the pressure on the bruise making it worse. He looks up, seeing the two boys tower over him, the light behind them making them silhouetted. The sight widened Changkyun’s eyes, shaking as he knew was going to happen next, closing his eyes as he accepted his fate. The door closes, leaving the younger in darkness as he waits for the pain that comes, one that will silence him further.

“We haven't messed with you in a while.” One boy says, chuckling. “You should just see the comments about you on social media. How are you able to live with yourself?”

“I wonder if you get the fact that you deserve this because not only did you take Gunhee’s and Seokwon’s spot but, our spots got taken.”

The familiar kick hits Changkyun in the stomach, a grunt and a gasp leave his lips.

“When Starship was picking who would be the mysterious member to come into No. Mercy, you had to screw it up by coming in. You were the one chosen.”

A hard hit behind Changkyun makes him curl up in a ball, crying as silent tears streamed down his cheek. The bruises were now never going to heal, growing larger yet, his call for help seemed to disappear each second. Just when his other bandmates were near him, they were also still so far away. A kick to the ribs, his knee, his back, the side of his shoulder, everything on his body began to hurt once again, his body feeling limb. Changkyun shouts as something sharp touches his skin as if an object scratched him. The kicking stopped, one of the boys cursing under their breath as they looked down.

“What do we do?” One of them asks the other.

“The scissors on the floor seemed to have cut him a little when he moved. Let’s get out of here for now.”

They both leave the small closet, the door ajar as the light that comes inside burns, unable to see beyond it except the brightness. Changkyun touched his arm, a wetness coming in contact with his fingertips. He placed his hand in front of his face, eyes wide as he stared at the red stain (wishing he didn't think what it indeed was). Frantic, he searched in the now messy room, looking for a mirror or anything that could reflect so could be able to see how bad the cut was. Without being able to find anything, he scrambles in one of his pockets for his phone, turning on the camera to take a photo of his arm. Changkyun looks at the picture, covering his mouth as he sees how much he was bleeding, the red liquid oozing out of his cut. Although he got scratched, it still questions the younger how it would happen in such a way. With not much time on his hand, the brunette tries his best to make it to the restroom, standing up only to feel the familiar pain shooting through his body. A hand comes up to his side, wincing as he slowly makes his way to the nearest restroom to wash up. Changkyun fixes his clothes, putting his jacket back onto his body weakly, every single movement hurting. He uses the wall as support to keep his balance, shuffling his way to the men’s room. Using almost all his strength to push open the door, the younger stumbles into the empty space and falls against the tile counter, lifting his head up to stare at his reflection in the mirror. He looks like a mess as his hair moving in different ways, clothes wrinkled and a dark stain that appeared on his shirt. Changkyun washed his face, taking off his jacket and shirt and leaving him bare-chested in the room, cleaning the cut that slowly started to stop bleeding. If he mentions the incident, it would only hold off their debut, and that was something he wanted to avoid. The younger grabs some toilet paper from a stall, wrapping the paper around his arm to stop a little of the bleeding. He puts his shirt back on as well his jacket to hide the stain, zipping it up to avoid the fabric to slide off his shoulder. Changkyun starts to move out, each step weighing him down and feeling heavy as if he would fall through the floor. His head hurt as it felt like beating was against his head, his vision a little blurry and the feeling as if he was going to throw up.

Trying his best, Changkyun made his way up to the dance practice, walking inside looking as if he went through a lot of trauma. The members turn their attention to him, Shownu and Kihyun looking the most confused on how the younger presented himself, how tired he seemed to look. Jooheon had to double take, noticing the odd state of the younger, while Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Wonho just stared in a mix of confusion and irritation; a look that was very different and new.

“How did you know those trainees?”

The question Shownu brings up calls Changkyun’s attention, making the younger lift up his head.

“Oh, I meet them before No. Mercy started.”

“Cheaters always hang with cheaters,” Wonho says under his breath, making Minhyuk snort and Hyungwon trying his best to keep a straight face.

“Shut up!” Shownu yells, making the usual trio bite their tongue and focus their attention elsewhere. It was the first time Shownu raised his voice at them.

“You look tired. You didn’t wake up too early or go to bed too late did you? Or did you not get enough sleep?” Kihyun questions, stepping closer to Changkyun. The many questions coming at him was too much to concentrate and process in the younger’s state.

“I’m fine.” He says lightly, keeping his head down. Even before dance practice, Changkyun looked miserable, Kihyun and Shownu raising their eyebrows as they don’t press further, knowing Changkyun was quite stubborn with letting out his feelings. Jooheon scratches his head, unable to think of anything to say and decides it was best to stay quiet.

“Well, now that everyone is here. I guess we start practicing.” Shownu claps his hands, everyone getting up and slowly making their way to the middle of the dance floor. “We'll practice No Exit since we're promoting that song as well.”

 _Great._ Changkyun rolls his eyes, zipping up his jacket more even though it was already up. He knew that with the jacket would make the younger more exhausted, but, he didn't want Shownu and especially Kihyun to make a big fuss over a little scratch.

The leader played the end of the song, jogging to his spot as they all waited for the music to repeat. Changkyun knew that No Exit was an especially hard dance, it was swift and, there were a lot of movements that had to be sharp, and on point. If it looked like he slacked off or put little effort, he'd probably never hear the end of it. And not to mention, the brunette was right in Shownu’s view, on the end just to the side, and little behind the leader. The music started, the hard beat playing and everyone moved, that sharp pain up through Changkyun’s body, one that he should have gotten used to by now. He tries his best to make his moves sharp, his muscles weakening and he breathes heavily, trying to tell his mind to keep up with his feet. Changkyun, in his horrible state, feels glad to make it up to Jooheon’s rap, trying his best to quickly go into a line get into another formation, his strength (what little he had left) draining quickly. He misses a step, quickly fixing it and continues as if nothing happened, his arms hurting a little more from the cut. The excessive arm movement was beginning to be too much for him, now getting into Kihyun’s part of the song. Sweat drips down his face; his breathing became more erratic and uneven; his knees were starting to hurt as well. And after passing Hyungwon and Wonho's small part, it goes into the chorus, a section where you could get a little bit lazy but still have a strong effect to push out. The formation of a straight horizontal line, standing as they do hand movements and at that moment, Changkyun collapses onto the floor, breathing heavily as one of his hands come to his chest.

“Great! Just when we finally had the dance up to the chorus!” Minhyuk says, throwing his arms up in the air and walking off as the music still plays in the background. Kihyun and Shownu (who were on either side of the younger) are the fastest ones to reach Changkyun, worried sick about the maknae.

“Changkyun, are you okay? Can you hear me?” Shownu rubs his back, patting it to help the younger out of his coughing fit that started to happen.

“He’s probably faking it who knows,” Wonho says, putting his hands in his pockets and walking off to go on his phone. Hyungwon shrugs, leaving to the corner as the usual trio think the younger was overreacting. Jooheon stands, a little conflicted on what to do and stays in place to see what was going on, a bit scared as he wasn’t familiar with situations as such.

“Just breathe in and out Changkyun, slowly okay,” Kihyun reassures the younger, peering into his face, the youngers eyes looking as of they had no life.

“Maybe take off the jacket; it’s probably one of the reasons why he’s so exhausted.” Shownu reaches for the zipper and Changkyun goes into fight mode.

“No!” The rapper yells, smacking Shownu’s hand away and covering his zipper, the action catching everyone’s attention from how loud he screamed. Shownu stares in shock, not expecting such a reaction and Changkyun’s stumbles on his words, not wishing to scare his hyung that he cherishes so much. Shownu has been there for Changkyun since No. Mercy ended, and here the younger was by pushing him away. “I’m sorry hyung, I just-. I’ll continue dancing; I think I’m okay.”

Changkyun tries to get up, the pain stabbing him deep in the back and he falls to the floor once again, Jooheon this time helping and rushing to his side, scared.

“Yeah, I don’t think you’re going to last any longer,” Kihyun says, grabbing Changkyun’s arm while Shownu grabs the other and Jooheon holds under the armpit, making the younger scream in pain. The trio looks at each other confused, a feeling running through them that something wasn’t right and they continue to lift up Changkyun despite his yells. Shownu places Changkyun on his back, facing the group as the younger’s body hangs almost limb against the leader.

“I’m bringing him back to the dorm. I don’t know what it is but, obviously, he isn’t well.” His attention directed towards Hyungwon, Minhyuk, and Wonho who scratch their heads, always thinking they aren’t to blame. “Kihyun and Jooheon, I need you to go to the dorm and watch over him. I’ll have to come back here and deal with things here.”

Kihyun and Jooheon nod, following the leader to call their manager and have the van pick them up, against Changkyun’s protest.

“I’m fine hyungs.”

“Sorry Changkyun, we just can’t have you overwork yourself. I don’t want you to overwork yourself.” Kihyun looks up at the younger, threading his fingers through the brunette’s hair; wet and stringy. “And you’re sweating a lot, especially in that jacket, it’s not a good combination.”

Jooheon stays quiet, not sure what to do when someone in the group collapses like they almost died, and to his young heart, it looked like it came straight out of a horror movie, which scared him to death. The manager understands the situation, a van arriving shortly to pick up the members and they all except Shownu. They place Changkyun in the back, Kihyun, and Jooheon on either side of him, keeping him upright.

“Take care of him okay? He’s the youngest and all his hyungs, or most of them, aren't treating him right. I'm going to talk with the others. And you, Jooheon,” The second youngest jumps at the sound of his name, turning quickly to the leader and his eyes wide. “You're the closest in age to Changkyun, and you two are rappers. He needs your support as well, and he isn't getting it.”

Jooheon looks down, nodding his head as he looks at the maknae whose eyes now closed, a pained expression on his face as he still begins to sweat. After reading the note and seeing the youngest in so much pain, Jooheon felt terrible that with being close in age with Changkyun, he still turned the other way. Shownu nodded his head, closing the car door and the van started to drive, silent except the small groans and moans coming from Changkyun.


	9. Reveal, Secrets and No Consideration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8! Some of you have guessed what might go on in this chapter and here it is! I feel like we are still getting to the start of things however! There is more to come and I hope you like this chapter as well! Thank you for all the loving comments and as well and the kudos!

“Come on, into bed you go.” Kihyun and Jooheon place Changkyun on top of Kihyun’s bunk, a bed that was much more comfortable for the younger. The blankets like clouds, a soft and warm feeling that made Changkyun almost fall asleep then and there. His whole body, however, felt as if it was on its last grip of strength, numb from all the pain as if it molded into him. The pair looks at their immobile member; both now worried sick for how much he was putting himself through. The sound of sobbing fills the room, and Kihyun turns his head to the bed, thinking it was the maknae when instead, but, it was Jooheon. The older looks up slightly, patting his shoulder and the rapper wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, only for more tears to come out.

“I just hate myself at the moment.” Jooheon cries out. “Shownu was right how I'm supposed to be helping Changkyun the most since we're a bit closer in age and we're both rapper but, here I am; a horrible hyung.”

“It's alright Jooheon, we've all but Shownu haven't been treating him well, and sadly some don't even know it. I feel Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Wonho will realize it when it's too late.”

Kihyun takes Jooheon into a hug, rubbing his back as he sobbed in the crook of his neck. All they had to do now was give Changkyun all the support he ever needed, making sure that the youngest feel wanted and loved.

“Do you mind getting some medicine for Changkyun? He might have come down with a fever or something.”

Jooheon nods, leaving the room as Kihyun gives him another pat, then focuses his attention back at Changkyun. The older climbs up the ladder, lifting up the brunette by the shoulder, his eyes tired and trying their best to keep open.

“Hyung…”

“Don’t worry; I'm just going to take this jacket off. You're going to burn up.”

Changkyun panics, his hands weakly pushing the other away and Kihyun starts to get irritated. Kihyun didn't know why the younger was acting in such a way, and because he never voices out the problem, the vocalist had no choice but to get agitated. The younger didn't want the other to see; it would tell everyone he was not acceptable, and that he was trash. How his body will say to them that he was a weak person, and they wouldn't want someone like him in the group. With no luck of fighting the older off, Kihyun zips the jacket down, pulling it off of Changkyun, his eyes knitting together, taking a look at the weird stain on his sleeve. Fighting all over a red mark, Kihyun almost laughed at how the younger though he would get mad over a spill on a shirt, however, the placement was odd. Something told Kihyun that there was more if Changkyun acted in such a way.

“Hyung, please, don't…”

Against the youngers protest, he lifts up a sleeve, eyes widening as he reveals the scattered spots of black and blue, the tissue paper falling and showing his cut. Kihyun's emotions change in a heartbeat; his mouth opens as the words became stuck in his throat. Kihyun finally just lifts up Changkyun’s shirt, the small, petite body covered in bruises and Jooheon comes at that moment, dropping the items he had in his hands. The bottle of water and bottle of pills came into contact with the hardwood floor, the rapper standing in complete horror. The pair stare, eyes wandering all over the maknae's body who tries to hide his wounds. The number of bruises that were against Changkyun’s delicate skin almost changed his skin color, the tan yet pale tone was now black and purple. For how long did the younger suffer like this? And why did he keep quiet? A bunch of questions filled Kihyun’s head, his eyes trailing across the maknae’s body for answers.

“Changkyun, where did these come from?!” Kihyun yells, shaking Changkyun lightly. He wasn't mad at the younger, but he wanted answers. Jooheon started to tear up again, covering his eyes from seeing the sight in front of him. Everything started crashing down at that moment, and the younger wanted to hide and never show his face again. “Changkyun! Answer me!”

The younger starts to cry, shaking his head as Kihyun probes further, getting a little emotional himself. “I'm sorry hyung.”

“Please Changkyun! Tell me! Did you do this to yourself?!”

A shake of the head.

“Did someone else?!”

A nod of the head. Kihyun starts to cry, his fingertips grazing all the marks painted across Changkyun's body.

“Changkyun! Tell me! Who did this to you?! I'm not playing around!”

“Please don't tell anyone.”

“I have to; I know you don't want me to say anything. We need to figure this out Changkyun; this is serious! Jooheon, call Shownu now.”

“No! Please hyung, don’t!” Changkyun tries his best to sit up, his hand gripping Kihyuns sleeves hard at the pain shooting through him. Kihyun catches him, trying to make the younger not move so much.

“I have to Changkyun. I'm sorry but, this is serious.” Tears fall off of his face, pulling Changkyun into his arms. "Please, I need you to tell me."

Changkyun sobs, pulling on Kihyun’s shirt in weak anger. “I hate you hyung.”

“Yeah yeah.” Kihyun threads his fingers through Changkyun’s hair, questions filling his head. Jooheon comes back inside with ointment and climbs up the bunk, placing himself behind the youngest.

“I called Shownu.” Jooheon nods, squeezing some of the cold medicine on his fingers.

“I hate you too Jooheon.”

“Well, you'll thank us later.”

The cooling ointment comes into contact with Changkyun’s body, a small jump and whine coming from him, the temperature and slight pain causing him to shake. Whimpers spill out of Changkyun’s mouth, his grip tight on Kihyun’s shirt who rubs circles in the maknae’s side. The cold cream spreads against Changkyun’s body, all over his arms, back and some more on his chest.

“Don't tell the others. At least do that for me hyungs.”

Kihyun sighs, nodding his head and gives on. “Fine, Minhyuk, Wonho and Hyungwon won't know but, they do need to know what they've done wrong. And you have to tell us who did this to you.”

Changkyun shakes his head. “No, they'll come at me again if I do. I'm used to this I swear.”

“Changkyun, how could you say that?” Jooheon speaks up, still putting ointment on the younger's body.

“Why would you care Jooheon. You've brought me down too. I've been suffering for so long you don't even know it, and none of you ever turned my way to see I was alright or needed anything. I held in the pain and my tears, yet, now you all want to care for me when you should have done so from that start!” Both Kihyun and Jooheon stare, the second youngest stopping from putting more ointment, regret sinking in faster than the medicine on Changkyun. Jooheon’s lips turn into a thin line, looking down and keeping quiet. “With the way you all treated me, why should I tell you anything? Why do you want to help me now?”

Shownu comes in the room, panic in his eyes as runs inside, closing the door. His sights set on the top bunk, staring at the wounded body of Changkyun, a gasp leaving his lips and racing up the ladder.

“Oh my god, Changkyun…” The leader is speechless for words, hesitantly reaching towards the younger. “Why didn't you tell us?”

“Because you would see me as weak and hate how someone like me would be in the band.”

“No, we wouldn't think that Changkyun.” Shownu threads his fingers through Changkyun’s hair, moving his bangs out of the way. “If you're hurting Changkyun we would want to know immediately.”

“But hyung, I've been hurting since No. Mercy started. It's been so lonely every since lineup. I wished I could die to make all the pain go away.”

The trio look at one another, guilt hitting them hard, not knowing the extent of Changkyun's feelings. The things the younger started to say, then the note, and now the bruises showed how much he was going through for so long. To think that the younger wanted to go as far and die was telling them just how depressed Changkyun was feeling.

“Do you want to go to the hospital?” Kihyun suggests. Changkyun shakes his head, and the three are unsure what to do next. “Fine, we'll have you take a bath later on, okay? Would that help you?”

Changkyun nods. “Don't tell manager please.”

“But-” Shownu begins to say until Changkyun speaks again.

“I don't want the debut date to get postponed, and then the other members getting mad at me.”

“Changkyun, I'm sure the other hyungs will understand.” Jooheons grabs a shirt from his drawer, letting Changkyun borrow it for the time being.

“Just, please. I don't want anyone saying anything else to anyone.”

They all agree, knowing that Shownu will possibly tell their manager to give him a heads up. Changkyun begins to move, all three of his hyungs stopping him.

“No, stay in this bunk for tonight. I don't want you moving a whole lot.” Kihyun lays Changkyun down, covering his body with a blanket.

“I'll get another thing of water and medicine for you.” Jooheon runs out of the room, and Shownu sighs, looking at the younger.

Although Shownu was the one who paid more attention to the younger, he still wasn't able to notice how depressed he was. Kihyun wipes his eyes, sniffling as he makes his way out off the room, mumbling something under his breath. They all feel overwhelmed, unsure how to make Changkyun think like he does have something to live for and happier thoughts in mind. Jooheon comes back inside, looking around the room confused.

“Where's Kihyun?”

“He went out for possibly some fresh air,” Shownu spoke up, taking the pills and water bottle from the younger, who picks up the mess he dropped earlier. "He left the room without a word except mumbling."

“Yeah, hyung was pretty distraught that I almost believed he was going to faint. I’ve never seen him look so scared before.”

“It is scary to think such things are happening behind your back.” Shownu lightly shakes Changkyun, causing him to turn slowly. He feels so tired, so much energy being wasted; it took a lot of him to move in the bed. Even if he didn’t want to, Changkyun takes the bitter medicine and drinks it down with some water. He then cuddles back into the bed, letting the warmth and his tiredness take over him.  
_

In his hard slumber, Changkyun stirs as a tight grip envelops his body; even in his half-asleep state, the younger knew who was holding him so tightly. Changkyun felt his body was sore as if he were exercising none stop, his muscles seeming not to communicate the nerves in his body to move any limbs. He tries to sit up, resting on his elbow to look around the dark room. It was deadly silent, his eyes adjusting to night and little light that came from the window. The moon and whatever streetlights were outside fell into the room, giving minimal brightness, but still not enough to fully see. Everyone was asleep, the night already coming and would soon possibly pass. Changkyun looked down, a shirt he didn’t recognize on his body, the sleeves a bit long to hide the bruises that pained his body. His hand went up to his arm, feeling a ball through the fabric, making the assumption that Kihyun, with the help of Jooheon and Shownu, dressed his wound. It made Changkyun happy but, he still felt the feeling of anger and sadness within him, not entirely forgiving Jooheon. Minhyuk, Wonho, and Hyungwon especially, Changkyun knew he wasn’t going to let them off easily. The younger (with a curious thought) moved Kihyun’s bangs out of his face, the puffy look was still there even when his eyes were closed, told Changkyun that the other was crying; shedding tears for someone like him. Changkyun slowly moved Kihyun’s arms off of himself, stepping over the sleeping body and made his way silently down the ladder. The brunette made his way to the bathroom, not bothering to turn on the light, going inside to wash his face and breathe a sigh of relief at the feeling of the water. The lock and doorknob was nonexistent, and Changkyun understood the reason for not putting it back. His feet lead him to the living room, a dark shadow sitting on the couch in complete darkness, and it takes Changkyun a while to see who it was.

“Jooheon?” Changkyun’s whispered voice calls out. Although not loud, the other still slightly jumps at the presence. “What are doing still staying up?”

“Uhm, I’m just watching some television.” He points to the electronic, and the younger follows Jooheon’s finger, leading to only a blank screen; it wasn’t even on.

“But, it’s off.”

“I’ve- I’ve seen this one before.” Changkyun nods, tilting his head in question. “Um, even though it’s late, did you want to work on some lyrics maybe?” Jooheon proposes his attitude showing how nervous he was around the younger. Changkyun thinks it is because of the note Kihyun and Jooheon found for the older to be acting in such a way. Changkyun wanted to forgive Jooheon but, with the way the rapper treated him, there was no bond or any connection. Jooheon ignored, yelled at him, insulted him and just treated him like dirt. If the brunette didn’t write what he was feeling on the piece of paper, Jooheon probably would be in his bed still sleeping.

A sigh leaves the younger’s lips, slowly nodding his head and weakly making his way towards the couch. He honestly never sat next to the older as he always sat far, this was a first time (other than scripted No. Mercy) that they were touching knees and shoulders.

“Blue Moon, right?” Jooheon gives the maknae a nod, turning on a light which made Changkyun disapprove while the older went to go possibly get some paper and pencils. As the younger’s eyes adjusted, the older came back, sitting down and handing Changkyun what he needed. “I don’t mean to sound mean as you are still my hyung but, I hope you know that even though I’m doing this, I still don’t fully forgive you. It’s going to take some time Jooheon. Not as much as Wonho, Minhyuk, and Hyungwon since they’ve done they’ve done the most damage within the band.”

Jooheon stays silent, making Changkyun continue to explain himself.

“I mean, yes I have these wounds on my body but, on the inside, they hurt me more.”

“No, I understand. I apologize for the way I’ve been acting towards you. I know that we as a whole band should trust one another and not believe every rumor that floats around the internet. I mean, maybe one of the other members will have some dirt get uncovered, we all have done somethings in past because we didn’t think we would make it as idols.” Jooheon takes a breath, stopping to gather his thoughts again. Changkyun listened carefully, not any other sound could be heard in the now dimmed room. The older hangs his head low, tears starting to spill once more, and he tries his best to wipe them away. “I'm sorry for being such a terrible hyung, especially when we're both rapper and the youngest yet, I still shoved you away. It hit me so hard to see someone collapse in the floor, and then your-”

Jooheon stops once again, remembering the sight of Changkyun on the bunk with bruises all over his body. The older closes his eyes tightly, wanting the image to disappear from his mind.

“I do appreciate how you were helping me though,” Changkyun says, hesitantly placing a comforting hand on Jooheon’s back. The other nods, wiping away his tears and it makes Changkyun feel a little sad. Three members were crying for him, and Changkyun still felt as if he wasn’t good enough. He wondered if it was himself who made him feel as such, or those boys who drilled the thought into his mind. “Let’s just work on the lyrics. We can pretend nothing ever happened, and it will be between us. Deal?”

“Deal.”  
_  
Changkyun was forced to stay in the dorm by Kihyun and Shownu, being watched by the vocalist as the leader took the other members for whatever needed to be finished for the upcoming debut. Mostly it was just sharpening moves but, the younger wished he could tag along if he were in a better state of health. Instead, he was stuck inside the dorm with the motherly older who was currently washing dishes in the kitchen.

“Did you eat Changkyun?”

“Yes, hyung.” The younger responded back to what seemed to be the hundredth time.

“We're just concerned okay. You should also take a bath but, I would have to be near you. Also, we need to put more ointment on you.”

“Hyung~.”

Changkyun whines, not wanting to do so many things to help his body, all he wanted to do was to sleep. If he was staying in the dorm for the next three days, he can't just close his eyes and drift off to dreamland?

“Either that or go to the doctor.”

Nothing else comes out of Changkyun's mouth, pouting and sulking on the couch cushions with no further arguments. He didn't want to go to the hospital, and if he did, it would for sure make things a more significant problem as well as the attention it would bring. The younger pulls out his phone, curious about the comments that were made by him, always hearing about them but, never really seeing them. The comments the boys made came into his head, saying how horrible they were and how could Changkyun live with himself. He presses the icon to his social media, typing his name hesitantly to bring up hashtags.

_‘Debut date is close; I bet Gunhee feels bad.’_

Changkyun clicks to see the replies to it, his eyes never leaving the screen.

_‘Would be better if he was picked in the line-up.’_

_‘I.M isn't even a great rapper.’_

_‘Haha right. Why was he even able to debut? He should go back to wherever he came from.’_

_‘I.M should just-’_

Changkyun isn't able to read anymore as the device in his hands is snatched away, the younger looking up at the owner of the who took it away. Kihyun doesn't look too happy, placing the phone in his pocket, away from Changkyun.

“You shouldn't be looking at things like that. Go take a bath so I can put more medicine on you.” Changkyun sighs, standing up with the help of Kihyun as they move towards the bathroom. The younger starts to strip his clothes once he's inside, the other leaving the door open. “Keep it open alright? Even though there's no knob, I want it open.”

Changkyun nodded, Kihyun’s tone getting a bit stricter and almost nagging like how a mother would.

After his bath, Changkyun walked into the living room, seeing Wonho sitting on the couch, even though he should be at dance practice. Wonho looked at the younger, glancing away and scratching his head as Kihyun was nowhere to be found.

“What are you doing here Wonho hyung?”

“Ah, Shownu forced me to come back.”

Changkyun nods, the air silent and suffocating in the lack of conversation. Wonho looks as if he needs to say something, and if it were an apology, Changkyun would need lots of time before be could forgive the older.

“Changkyun, can you come here?” Kihyun’s voiced throughout the dorm, the younger turning around to find the older. Changkyun leaves the black-haired boy on the couch, not giving him any more of his attention. He steps into the shared room, seeing Kihyun sitting on his bunk with medicine next to him. The vocalist pats the spot in front of him, helping the other up the ladder and positioning him in front.

“It's going to be cold.”

Kihyun squeezes some of the same ointment from yesterday on his hands, rubbing his hands together and lightly placed his hands on the youngest back. Changkyun shivers, a small pain running through his body as Kihyun spreads the medicine against his body. The room stays silent, no one saying anything and it is a sort of comfortable silence.

“Hyung?” Kihyun hums in response. “Why is Wonho here? Does he need to say something?”

“Well, I guess there's nothing to hide from you.” Kihyun chuckles. “I think Shownu was done with his attitude and sent him back here. Minhyuk was too stubborn and high of himself that Shownu just instead sent Wonho, who is now angry at Minhyuk for not owning up to his words or something. And part of apologizing to you as well.”

“Ah, I see.” Changkyun looks down and mumbles. “I'm not going to forgive him easily. Even if he begs on his hands and knees or trying to buy my forgiveness.”

“No one's telling you to Changkyun. Do what makes you feel comfortable. How do you feel about me?”

Changkyun slightly turns his head to the older, silently staring back. “You alright I guess.”

Kihyun chuckles once again, making Changkyun smile at the funny response. “I'll take that.”  
_

“You can sit down Changkyun.” Wonho offers on taking the youngers plate from him, the older acting very different than usual. “You fell yesterday, so maybe you should rest.”

“Ah, I see. So know you want to be nice to me? I don't need your help.” Changkyun walks around the older, leaving him standing in slight shock at the way he was being talked back to in such a way. Wonho hated such a thing coming from someone younger than him; it was a very disrespectful thing to do.

“Geez Changkyun, at least be a little considerate.”

There were alone at the moment, Shownu forcing Wonho and Changkyun to stay while they go and fetch dinner. So both were stuck with one another.

“Considerate? Me?” Changkyun let's out a dry, exaggerated laugh as if he hears something that was a total lie, which it was. “What about you? Why don't you be considerate of others around yourself? You always think that everyone is below you.”

“Excuse me? Maybe I wouldn't act in such a way if you weren't here. I'm trying to be nice and make amends when here you are ignoring me. At least acknowledge me trying.”

“Why should I? Why don't you take credit for what I've been trying to do?” Changkyun raises his voice, his mouth working faster than his mind. “Why don't you worry about your past rather than someone else's. Cause for your information, I have nothing to hide. I never cheated my way here, never once did I sneak some money to get where I am. Why don't you worry about your fucking self!”

Wonho’s eyes widen, mouth agape as he stares at the younger. He never thought such words of hatred would spill through the other’s lips, stuttering as he tries to think of what to say next.

“No wonder you no friends. Cause everyone around you hates you, and we'd be better off with Gunhee.”

At that moment, the other's come inside the dorm, staring with wide eyes at the two who are practically going at each other's throats. Wonho’s comment hits Changkyun hard, on the verge of tears as he hangs his head low. Another dry chuckle comes out of the youngers mouth, telling back as he doesn't care anymore.

“Then maybe it's better for me to be fucking dead!”

“Changkyun!” Shownu calls out, and Changkyun speeds out of the living room, into the shared room, and Wonho looks down, the leader’s anger thrown at the second oldest. “Dammit, Wonho! Are you serious?!”

Changkyun slams the door, shaking the walls and hides in the bundle of blankets. The younger wants to badly scream and kick Wonho in the shins, to just show the older just the tip of the iceberg of the pain he's been feeling. He cries into the pillow, not caring about anything anymore. Changkyun doesn't want to leave the room, and he would also need to not listen to Kihyun trying to help.

The door opens, silent until the footsteps come further inside.

“Changkyun?” Oh, it's Jooheon instead. “Are you okay? Do you need some company?”

“Go away Jooheon. I'm okay.”

The rapper gives the other a nod and closes the door silently, and Changkyun lays in bed, looking back at his conversation with Wonho. His mouth wasn't keeping up with his brain, his feelings getting in the way. But, it wasn't like he didn't say it just to say it, he was telling the truth. Wonho thinks he all high and mighty, assuming he's doing a great job of trying to be friends but, it was all fake. Changkyun slowly sat up, reaching into his shirt pocket, unbuttoning it and taking out a small razor. He lifted up his pant leg, exposing his skin as the small blade came into contact with his skin. The younger winced, the pain was a little more bearable than the beatings that occurred at him. He slowly slid the blade, a small amount of blood oozing out. The door opens again, and Changkyun throws himself on the bed, covering his body to pretend he's sleeping.

 


	10. Comfort, Nervousness and Blue Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I sadly won't be able to do double updates since I'm close to graduating and also I'm pretty much making this as I go lol. But hopefully, after all my testing I can upload two chapters because I feel like that would be nice. ^^ Thank you for all the comments and liking this story! I didn't expect that I would be great with angst and I thought it would get repetitive. Thank you so much you guys!!

“Don't worry; it's just me,” Shownu speaks softly, and Changkyun raises his head as he pokes out from the blankets, a small smile appearing on both their lips. “I shouldn't ask if you're okay because obviously, you're not. Just came to check on how you've been holding up.” 

“Sorry hyung. I didn't mean to curse, but my feelings of anger just spilled out.”

“It's alright. I mean, I'm pretty pissed at Wonho. I felt like I wanted to punch him.”

A small chuckle leaves from Changkyun’s lips, and Shownu steps further inside the room, climbing up the top bunk to join the younger who scoots back to give the other room. The older lays down, patting Changkyun’s head and the brunette enjoys the touch, something that he almost forgot the softness. Other than his bed, we would be instead reminded of the pain and how disgusting of a person he was, the feeling of comfort and compassion disappearing. The endless kicking and hitting almost washed away his memories of comfortable contacts. 

“I'm sorry Shownu.”

A small chuckle comes from Shownu who tilts his head. “Why are you sorry? You've never done anything wrong.”

“I feel like I don't contribute much. I suck at dancing; I'm not a good rapper, and Gunhee should have taken my spot instead, and that we're struggling because of me.” 

"And whose telling you this stuff?"

"Don't tell Kihyun." Changkyun begins hiding into the blankets again. "He'll get mad at me because I kept reading the comments about me on social media. There are only about ten posts that say good things about me but, there's more hate instead that floats around." 

“Aw, Changkyun don't think such a way. You do contribute, and it's just because you're hurting. Don't pay attention to such things; they don't know what they're talking about and they'll change their mind on debut when we hit that stage. I mean, do you think you can give your full effort with how much you've been through?” Changkyun shakes his head. Shownu gently takes Changkyun in his arms, wrapping a warm embrace around the younger. “And I should be the one to say sorry. I've been protecting you but, doesn't seem like I've done such a great job of doing it. I've been protecting you in the group but, not outside of the group when you stray off.”

“No, you've done your best hyung. I'm grateful for you always being here with me to cope a little. I only wished to get along with everybody.”

“That makes me happy that I've been of some help. And don't' worry Changkyun, we'll reach it soon, even higher than that.” 

Changkyun smiles, snuggling into Shownu’s arms that make him feel safer than he has ever been. He wished it could stay as such forever; the warmth embraces comforting him as if it was telling the younger everything was alright. Although he liked Kihyun's cuddles in the night, Shownu's could most likely top. His eyes became heavy, and the door opened again, a voice which sounded like Kihyun’s but, Changkyun was close to falling asleep it was fading away. Even if the younger wanted to listen, his want to sleep was getting the better of him.

“Oh, you were here all this time.” 

The next words weren't heard, muffled as Changkyun finally drifted off in Shownu’s arms.  
_

Two days past with tension in the air between Changkyun and the other three members; Wonho always looking as if he still needed to say something. It was almost like a pattern: Changkyun would do something, Wonho would partially open his mouth or make a move say something, but then bite his tongue and turn the other way. To say it was getting a little annoying was an understatement, Changkyun wanting to say something back but, if he did so, he wouldn't control his next words. Changkyun starts getting along with Jooheon slowly, still hesitant being around the older for the apparent reasons before. It had been yesterday when Jooheon stood up against Wonho, something that the vocalist had said about Changkyun about how he hasn't finished the song and hence why the group keeps practicing. The action surprised the maknae, as well as, everyone else who were sitting at the dining table. 

"You can't blame Changkyun for the lyrics anymore! It's now my fault too because I haven't been doing my best to help him! And leave our business alone, you're not a rapper so you shouldn't talk!"

Or something along the lines, Changkyun doesn't remember the exact words. Jooheon ended up storming off after telling his hyung off and admitting his fault (something Changkyun wished the other three would do) and leaving Wonho in a ball of guilt that Jooheon yelled at him too. 

In the van that the whole group sat in present time, Changkyun shows Jooheon the game on his phone that he's occasionally playing when he has time, teaching the older how it works and how to win. The younger decided to make conversation with the other who had been watching him play, the staring making Changkyun too nervous to focus. Jooheon hesitantly takes Changkyun's phone, looking at the screen in confusion, almost as if he's never seen such a device. The maknae giggles a bit, grabbing his phone back to show how to move the blocks to get the highlighted red block through the exit. Although Jooheon whines about having to problem solve and use his brain, he was soon engaged in passing the levels. Even when the younger tried to help if the other was stuck, a hand was quickly in his face to stop him with the words of ‘Don't worry, I'm smart enough to do this.’ Shownu watches the pair, a small smile across Changkyun’s face and a shake of the head. He nudges the main vocalist beside him, grabbing his attention away from his music and the car window. Pulling out an earbud, Kihyun looks up at Shownu in question, who points to the youngest pair. Kihyun joins the leader as he also looks at the scene, seeing how even though Changkyun still isn’t very forgiving yet, he’s growing a small soft spot.

Wonho watches in silence, turning his head in the other direction and plugs in his earphones, messing around on his phone to distract himself. All seven head out to dance practice once again, unable to record since Changkyun and Jooheon haven’t finished the lyrics yet. The youngest two thought it would be alright to come up with some more songs while the others danced, hoping that something comes out of their work (and Changkyun's current physical condition wasn't the best). Once arriving at the building, they split ways, Jooheon chatting Changkyun’s ear off like never before, and the usual silent Changkyun tries his best to keep up with what the other is saying, who is not even taking a breath between sentences. Before entering the room they usually go into, Changkyun spots the pair of boys, and he tenses up, Jooheon being oblivious as he tries to open the door with the given key. There’s nowhere to run or hide, and if the youngest did, Jooheon would have to follow him; a given order by both Kihyun and Shownu.

“Hey, Changkyun! We created another new song, and we want you to come and hear it!”

A fake smile, one of the many ill intentions that spread across one of the boy’s face, a look Changkyun was way too familiar and grown accustomed. Jooheon turns to the pair of boys, their faces recognizable from a few days ago, but the older puts his hands on Changkyun’s shoulder. Something this time, the second meeting, didn't sit well with Jooheon.

“Sorry boys; he’s with me for today. Maybe next time.”

“Ah what? We just wanted him to listen to it. It’ll be real quick, we promise.”

“You can’t just play it here then? Why do you need to take him away to listen to your song? If you guys were so excited, you would have it on our phone or something rather than messing up our schedule.”

The boys start to get a bit aggravated thrown off by Jooheon's attitude towards the younger, never having to deal with a roadblock in their way. Jooheon now stands tall, questioning the boy’s slightly odd behavior and vibe they give off. Changkyun, on the other hand, stays quiet and looks between the trio, unsure if he should speak, walk inside the small room or remain quiet. The youngest couldn’t say to Jooheon that the boys he was talking to caused all the problems, there will be a huge fight and Jooheon could get in a lot of trouble, and sadly as well as the band. The boys sigh, grabbing onto Changkyun’s wrist, putting on their best wide, toothy grin over their angry expression.

“Come on Changkyun, come with us.”

“If he goes, then I’m supposed to go with him.” Jooheon starts to get angry, a look Changkyun never really seen before, one that showed protection. The older also grabs the maknae’s wrist, turning into a tug-of-war. The boys click their tongues, letting go and walking away without another word. Jooheon pulls Changkyun to his side and rushes him into the small room, closing it behind him after taking another look down the hall. Shutting the door, Jooheon sighs loudly, rubbing his forehead and then the back of his neck while Changkyun stays quiet. “Sorry about that Changkyun. You’re friends or whatever those dudes are, were giving me the weird creepy vibe of like the man who wants you in his van. The way they grabbed you seemed to finalize my theory.”

“No, it’s fine. Thanks for saving me back there.”

Jooheon turns to the younger, tilting his head. “Are they the ones who hurt you? The boys seemed adamant on wanting to bring you with them.”

“I’ve never really seen the faces of who hurt me…” Changkyun trails off, heart sinking that he had to lie but, he didn’t want Jooheon sprinting out and then get in trouble for beating them up. Jooheon nods, taking a seat as Changkyun does the same, getting out their notebooks and writing material.

“Well, I don’t mean to sound like a nagging Kihyun but, maybe you should stay away from those boys.”

A chuckle comes from Changkyun, covering his mouth. The sight pleases Jooheon and mentally does a victory dance. “Geez, you sound like my mother. And naggy Kihyun.”

“Changkyun.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll at least do that for you.” He pouts, opening his notebook and then writing down what comes to mind, humming a beat in his head. 

“Remember what I said last night too, try maybe writing in like English. Something different you know.”

Changkyun nods, happier that Jooheon is giving him ideas and digging a path for him to go on, not making the younger figure it out all alone. The pair then write lyrics for the next hour, finally working together and Changkyun asking Jooheon for some ideas. Although the brunette still wasn't entirely trusting of the older, even a little unhappy at how Jooheon treated him. But, regarding working together to be able to finish the album, Changkyun would have to pull through. If Jooheon would now start acting nice even accepting his faults, Changkyun thought the writing process would go smoothly as time would move. Unless the others admitted their wrongdoings, Changkyun would be on the path of forgiving but, Wonho didn't do that. The peaceful time that the pair spent together went by with no trouble, something new to the maknae. The other always checking up on how the younger was doing, making sure to read the lyrics time to time. 

Changkyun looked at his progress, nodding in satisfaction and he honestly felt right about the outcome. Nervously, the rapper held a breath, exhaling slowly as his fingers gripped the notebook tightly. 

“How's this?” Changkyun gave Jooheon the notebook, looking up to see how the other rapper would react. The older skims through the words, reading it carefully as he tries his best to decode the English words and make sense of it. Jooheon nods, a smile on his face as hits the air excitedly. 

“Yes! I think this is it!”

“Really?! You’re joking, right?”

Jooheon shakes his head, showing Changkyun his lyrics to himself. “This is very nice Changkyun, no lie. I guess an English rap was maybe the only way to pull this song off. Nice job, we can now start recording maybe. We had to write this three times today to get it right; I guess third time is the charm today.” 

Changkyun feels overwhelmed, covering his mouth with his hands as excitement fills up his body, so much that tears begin to flow down his face. Finally, he was able to give Jooheon something he could approve of and move on to recording, as well as the last two songs and the beats. The younger wipes away his tears, a smile appearing on his face as he hugs the other without any thought. The random action surprises the rapper, looking down at the shorter individual. Changkyun sobs, his happiness of finishing the Blue Moon rap taking over his movements without much thought, relieved to finally be able to continue completing the debut album with a step closer. Jooheon pats the other on the head, thanking him for his hard work. 

“You not just saying that out of pity right?” Changkyun says, his voice deep from crying and the sniffling. 

“No, this is amazing. The other time truly weren’t fitting for the song but, I was a dick about the whole situation.”

“I’ll take that then.” Jooheon laughs, pulling and grabbing up their items, confusing the younger who stands and looks around the room. “Where are we going?”

“To the dance room, we gotta show the others the finished product of course. All we needed was the rap parts, and we can start recording as soon as possible. We can ask Shownu about it and the producers.”

Changkyun nods, understanding and following the older out of the room after grabbing his things, turning off the light as Jooheon then locks the door. The other ushers for the younger to step in front and lead the way, possibly to make sure he didn’t leave Jooheon’s sight; since Shownu and Kihyun directed him to watch the maknae. Once the pair reaches the dance room, the others are in the middle of a practice focused on themselves in the mirror, the music too loud for them to notice the younger members. Changkyun and Jooheon place their things down on the floor, waiting for the dance to finish as they try their best to talk about plans for the next song that needs lyrics as well as the beat they had in mind for Blue Moon. The music soon fades out, members falling to the floor as their legs give up, tired and sweating as the five members catch their breath. Shownu (most likely the one with better stamina) has the energy to walk towards the youngest pair, sitting down with them to see what was up. 

“How’d it go writing some lyrics?”

“Better!” Jooheon says happily, handing over the notebook that Changkyun didn’t know the other still had. Thankfully, all the pages of negative thoughts were torn out and thrown away in another bin. “Here’s the finished result. We can start recording as soon as possible.”

Shownu takes the book, reading the first lines of lyrics as Kihyun curiously walks behind the leader, wondering what’s happening. And soon, the other members start to crowd around, also wondering what the commotion was about. 

“Wow, I like that.” Kihyun smiles, nodding his head in approval. 

“Yeah, I like it.” Minhyuk shrugs, not fully admitting his true feelings through his stubborn attitude that still stays. 

“Agreed,” Hyungwon says, too tired to try to keep up with everything. 

“I truly thought this song would be on the next album if we debuted by then.” Minhyuk points out, earning himself a glare from Shownu. “What? My comment wasn’t directed towards anyone. I just said what I thought, that’s all.”

Jooheon shakes his head, grabbing Shownu's attention once again to talk about the song. "Now, what Changkyun and I had quickly discussed we think Blue Moon's beat could be-"

The maknae notices Wonho staying silent, biting the inside of his mouth to try and not say anything; good or bad. Changkyun sees the older from the corner of his eyes, knowing it’s going to be a little rough with Wonho, Minhyuk, and Hyungwon.


	11. Attitudes, Recordings and Findings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was longer! I think about 5,000 words and this is a first for this fic so far! So, I've made it special for all of you. Enjoy!

“Wonho, Minhyuk, and Hyungwon, I’m really tired of your attitude.” 

Changkyun shouldn’t bein the place he should be, he tells to himself, hiding in the closet that the younger never thought he would be inside. It had happened when Changkyun was looking for something to wear, unable to find what he really needed. The members were going to record Blue Moon, and he needed to get dressed. The younger had stepped further in, the doors closing behind him as they needed support to be opened. With an annoyed sigh, he turned around as he was about to push open the doors for light until Shownu’s angry voice came closer; stopping in his tracks. Changkyun was unable to make out any words, that was until pairs of footsteps entered the what seemed to be an empty room. The rapper held his breath and covered his mouth, eyes glancing side to side as he was now stuck in a tight space and having whoever was in the room not know the younger stood. He peeked out through the small crack, unable to see anything except knowing that Shownu was in the room. Until the names came out of his mouth, Changkyun knew that he was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

“It’s been like almost a month and a half, and we’re still having this problem?” Shownu’s voice was aggressive, folding his arms as he stared at the three. 

“I’m sorry but, I said I wouldn’t be friends with him.” Minhyuk is the first to speak up. 

“Oh please, No. Mercy ended a long time ago. Why can’t you just accept the fact that he’s now a member of this group? The kid’s got talent, and that’s why he’s here.”

“How do you know that for sure? All the things about him online seem to be legit.” Hyungwon comments, trying to validate Minhyuk’s words.

Shownu scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Do you honestly believe anything the social media says? What if it said something about you and it wasn’t true?” 

Hyungwon bites his lip, looking as he had nothing to say after the comment. The leader shakes his head, sighing loudly.

“But he came at the wrong time. I despise him for joining late, and then he wins in the final lineup? That doesn’t seem odd?” Minhyuk’s voice grows louder, the emotion strong in his voice. 

“I didn’t like that either. We worked so hard and here this boy was just stepping in on our hard work.” Hyungwon looks down, and Wonho keeps his mouth shut. "We've shed so many tears, we could have possibly swum in them. And he barely cried, he didn't belong. Even the people who watched No. Mercy didn't like him."

“He wasn’t long enough to have a bond with everyone. All our sweat, and tears that spilled on the floor felt as if the people we cried about and cared for meant nothing!” Minhyuk yells, tears almost brimming his eyes. “He doesn’t understand the pain we’ve been through, and he thinks he can come in the middle of the show. What kind of bullshit is that?”

“He’s been through a lot too since you all just ignored him. Okay, he did come at the worst time, but he probably felt worse. Look, all I’m saying is just open up to Changkyun or just acknowledge him for what he is doing and giving. We didn’t know this would happen, and not expecting such a hard blow after we lost a member through elimination. However, do you really think Changkyun wanted to be put in that awkward situation too?” The three stay silent, Wonho surprisingly the most for how loud, high and mighty he portrayed himself to be. Shownu notices the lack of communication coming from him, leaning into Wonho’s sight of vision. “What about you Wonho? Have anything to say?”

“I don’t care anymore.” The black-haired shrugs, looking in the direction of the closet and Changkyu tries his best not to scream or make any movement. “There’s nothing I need to say.”

Shownu stares, slightly confused and Minhyuk turns away from the older as he wipes his eyes, walking out the door. “I’m leaving because this is pointless.”

“Minhyuk!”

“Same. Sorry leader; I just don’t feel right around Changkyun. It might be a while to befriend him.” Hyungwon mumbles, following Minhyuk out of the door with no other comment. Shownu sighs, rubbing the back of his head. Taking another look at Wonho, the oldest shakes his head and follows the pair out leaving the second oldest alone, or so he thought. Wonho doesn’t make any move, and Changkyun feels like his heart is going to burst from the nervousness and emotions running through his veins. Shownu once again tried his best to stand up for the younger, something he should be used to but, it had always hit him hard. Changkyun hangs his head low, tears about to form until a deep voice stops him.

“You can come out now Changkyun. I know you’re in the closet.”

Changkyun’s heart gets stuck in his throat, eyes widening as he looks around in question as if he wasn’t Changkyun. The younger reluctantly exits, making eye contact with the older who gives him a poker face. The air felt toxic, sickening and the younger wanted to run out of the room. 

“I didn’t mean to listen, I just- sorry.”

Wonho stays silent, not saying anything except a sigh that only leaves his lips, placing his hands in his pockets. “It’s-”

Changkyun looks up a little, waiting for a response.

“It’s alright I guess. Just, announce yourself and leave next time, okay?”

The older then makes his way to the door, stopping in his tracks as the younger calls out to him, an action he wishes that he regretted. The black-haired turned back around, the same poker face directed at him which put pressure on Changkyun. He fiddled his fingers, looking down once again as he tried his best to gather his thought together. 

“Um, you didn’t say anything because I was in the closet right? You knew I was inside, so you didn’t tell Shownu what you thought about me?” Wonho doesn’t move, and Changkyun felt awkward under the strong stare that seemed to burn through him. “Well, say it to my face instead of at Minhyuk and Hyungwon. And, I was really hurt by what they said because it's not true.”

The older leaves without another breath, walking away and leaving the younger to stand in the room all alone, blinking a few times to try and understand what had happened. Wonho always seemed to have something to say, and to recently see him not talk much was a strange sight. Even at dinner when Changkyun started to join, Wonho slowly wasn't excited about any of his favorite meals, especially ramen. The older loved the noodles so much sometimes it was all he would ever eat, and to see him not getting all happy and bubbly was a weird sight. But, Changkyun's heart hurt, the muscle tightening and feeling as if it would burst or suffocate him, stopping his breathing. The younger pulled out his razor, the words still stuck in his head as he cried, the cold blade coming into contact with his skin.  
_

The time to go to recording came, Jooheon excitedly looking over the lyrics for the hundredth time, a big smile on his face and he talks to the maknae about their lines. Changkyun shook his head, laughing a little as he kept watching his hyung, certainly feeling a soft spot even though he knew not to let the other rapper easy. It had been three days of work, creating the beats and putting the song together of what matched with the lyrics, resulting in a soft, coffee shop jazz vibe both Jooheon and Changkyun felt happy about. And when the other's agreed on the tempo of Blue Moon, it was time to record and finalize the song. 

The members sat in the recording studio, setting up the music and turning on all the equipment needed. All seven sat at a table, looking at copies of their own of the lyrics, their part highlighted. Changkyun skimmed his eyes through his rap part, going over it to figure out what needed to be emphasized, what had to be said softly, and much of his voice did he want to portray. He worried about pronunciation as most of his rap was in English, only about two lines that were in Korean. The part that made the younger nervous how he also had to end the song with English. Jooheon leans towards Changkyun, pointing to a section in the song and discusses their ideas for the line they share. From the younger’s peripheral vision, he still notices the silent staring of Wonho that still question what the older needed to say. He was getting tired of the black-haired always looking his way for ungodly minutes, then to turn away and back again. Changkyun knew something needed to be said, or for some reason, Wonho would only stare in thought and get lost (something that oddly started to happen recently if that was the case). Focusing back on what the Jooheon was saying, the older grabs the Changkyun by the wrist to get his attention, making their way to start their recording, with Wonho’s eyes following them. 

Within the long hours, recording is almost finished, and everyone takes a short break, Changkyun sitting down with a relieved sigh and Kihyun comes over to hand the younger a drink of water. He thanks the older who sits next to him, praising him which makes Changkyun feel giddy as he never been received any complements except the lyrics. The older leaned his head on the younger’s shoulder, whose eyes were wide, the rapper staring down at his hyung in confusion. Jooheon walks by to see the pair, getting a little excited as he almost trips racing to them. The other also takes up the other side of Changkyun, sitting close to him and mimicking Kihyun, closing his eyes. He notices that over the previous days, Shownu, Kihyun, and Jooheon have been pampering him a little, (maybe a little too much that thinks about it) and Changkyun wasn’t sure how to feel with the whole situation. Even with the attention, the younger still is unable to fight his urge of cutting, hoping nobody would see the scars of the previous ones. It wasn’t every day but, when times were sort of rough, the blade would be his new focus than the problem. If Shownu found out about the markings on the inner part of Changkyun’s thighs, he wouldn’t be too happy, and Kihyun would be furious. But for now, the calm presence of Kihyun and Jooheon eased him a little, both laying on either side of his shoulder and their eyes closed from the tired day. Changkyun sighs, leaning back and shutting his eyelids, getting comfortable while it lasts. 

Another hour passed, Changkyun opening his eyes after thirty minutes, and realizing that his two hyungs were still by his side. The younger felt sore, his position not supporting his body, and with the weight of the others didn't help. A whine passed through his lips, rubbing his eyes and looking down the hall, faintly hearing the noise. He looks around the dim room, slowly making his way out between his hyungs, soon following where the faint sound was coming from. Changkyun looked at the wall of where the clock hung, the time read five-thirty two, making him question how long have they honestly been recording but, he was never that great with guessing time. Peering into the room of the noise through the ajar door, sat Wonho who was the only one up and the others asleep around him. His voice filled the small room, as he still worked and singing the same line to get it right. 

Changkyun walked inside, going unnoticed and watching the other practice. Wonho doesn't notice the younger behind him, still going over his lines and sighing when be thinks it's not perfect. He leans back running his fingers through his hair, turning in his chair, jumping at the presence of Changkyun. A hand flies against his chest, a small gasp escaping his mouth as he closed his eyes.

“Shit. How long have you been here?” 

“Not long.” 

“Well, don't scare me like that. What do you want?” 

“Can we talk?” Changkyun hesitantly says, questioning as Wonho does his famous stare. “There are some things I want to ask about.” 

“Okay. I guess I'll listen.” 

“Not here.”

Wonho sighs, getting up as Changkyun leaves the room, the other following closely behind, making their way out into the hallway. The pair walk side by side, quiet as Changkyun didn't really know what to talk about first, wanting to yell and scream on the others face.

“What do you hate about me?” Changkyun turns, questioning the obvious. 

“Do we really need to talk? I change my mind.”

“No Wonho, you've been holding this grudge against me ever since No. Mercy. I'm tired of you acting as if you're all high and mighty.”

Wonho doesn't say anything, not wanting to but, he knew this confirmation would come. 

“Listen, Changkyun, I'm upset at the fact that you came into the show so late, and then you win. How does that make all the other's who worked so hard feel? The people who were their the longest felt like their time was wasted.”

“Do you think I wanted to join late into the show? I've been watching the show since it was announced, and never did I ever think I would also be doing the missions. You think I planned this.”

“What are we supposed to do then? Brush it off and pretend everything's fine when it isn't?” 

Changkyun raises his voice, stopping in his tracks to face the other. “How else do you want me to prove to you that I've never cheated, nor did I pay money.”

“Then, why did you join in the middle?” Wonho also raised his voice. “Why did you make everyone feel like shit?”

Changkyun sighed, crossing his arms as he tried his best to put sense into the black-haired. “That was never my intention Wonho! I was called in with a few other people, we auditioned, and they picked whoever they wanted. I just wished to debut. Whether I did or not, that was the risk I would take.”

Wonho doesn't say anything, looking to the floor and anywhere else except Changkyun. He rubs the back of his neck, sighing as the younger stared on, wishing for the older to say something. With all the staring, Wonho should better say all the words that he wanted.

“Okay, look, I honestly didn't think my hate towards you would last this long. I believed that after the line up we would shake hands and forget about it but, I was too scared to forgive you because it would let everyone else down. I can't speak for Minhyuk and Hyungwon but, I know from what you heard from hiding the closet the way they feel. And, after seeing Jooheon yell at me, I've been feeling really horrible.”

“What about you?”

“What?” Wonho lifts his head to make at contact.

“How do you still feel about me?” 

“I don't know anymore, to be honest. I don't know what else you need from me.”

Changkyun snorts, blood boiling as he can't believe what the other just spewed. 

“Really? Wow Wonho, you disgust me.”

Wonho turns his head quickly, eyes wide. “Wha- what did you say to me?”

Changkyun pushes the older who was caught off guard, stumbling back as the younger starts to form tears in his eyes as he tries his best to leave, only to be grabbed by the other. The brunette tries his best to fight his way out of Wonho's hold; struggling as the black-haired was stronger. 

“Leave me alone! You don't realize any of your mistakes! You, Minhyuk and Hyungwon blame me for everything I did when the three of you are the worse! Don't even bother trying to befriend me!”

“Changkyun! Calm down!”

“No! Just go away! I made a mistake trying to get your side of the story!” Changkyun sobs, still trying to remove himself from Wonho’s grip. His energy quickly draining from all the movement, body almost starting to ache which would entirely not be a good sign.

“Changkyun, please, calm down.” Wonho cups the other's face, eyes filled with worry that Changkyun never knew he would see. However, Changkyun still wouldn't forgive him; he would need to work for it.

“What's going on here?” A voice reaches the pair, and they turn their attention to the direction it came from. Changkyun stops not looking up as he knows the tone of voices, who they belonged to, even though he didn't know their names. “Are you bullying our Changkyun?”

“Uh no, Changkyun and I were just having a conversation that went a little out of hand. It's okay now, I'm just calming him down.” Wonho speaks which wasn't a lie. 

The younger tenses up, not wanting to use Wonho as a shield and a source of protection but, if he wanted to not be beaten up, he would have to be beside Wonho. Kihyun and Shownu would be furious to see any new markings, forcing Changkyun to talk, (Jooheon could be protective but, was too scared to look at the bruises and if any new ones came). And since he needed to be watched almost 24/7, the brunette would get scolded for leaving or wandering without anyone. Changkyun gripped the hem of Wonho’s shirt, hiding a little behind him to avoid any confirmation with the boys. 

“Doesn't look like that to us.” One says, stepping forward. “Come with us Changkyun.”

“I uh, I'm good. We have things to finish. Let's go Wonho.” Changkyun tries his best to turn away from the boys, one of them stepping forward to stop the younger yet again.

“Changkyun, come over here, we'll protect you.” 

A shiver goes down his spine.

“We have work to do.” Was all the maknae could say.

“Changkyun-”

“We’re busy. Don’t you get that.” Wonho turns, almost snarling and the boys. They give an odd expression, one they had given a few days before, and Changkyun had to leave. His stomach turning at their words of protecting him when they did the opposite, and the younger speed walks as he wipes his tears away; something he should have done before.

The pair reach inside the recording studio, seeing the early rising Kihyun as he rubs his eyes and sees the two. Thinking everything was alright, a big smile spread across his face, that was until they came closer and the older noticed the maknae’s tear stained face. 

“Wonho! What do you do to him?!” Kihyun pulls Changkyun into a hug, a cute squeak emitting from the other in surprise. Not a lie but, it made a hard stab in Wono’s heart.

“We um- we were talking. Changkyun asked me out to the hallway, and we were discussing stuff, and then those boys from before came over but, they had a creepy vibe this time.”

Kihyun’s a bit thrown off, both by whoever Wonho was talking about and the weird looking out for Changkyun nature. “Those boys? What are you talking about?”

“Hyungs, it- it’s nothing.” Changkyun tries to talk through the fabric of Kihyun’s sweater, and Jooheon steps inside. The sight made him blink to see if Kihyun keeping a tight grip on the maknae, staring furiously at Wonho.

“What’s going on here? Looks like I stepped into a K-drama.” 

“What time is it?” Shownu appears from the room where Changkyun initially found Wonho, also awake and rubbing his eyes.

“Wonho said some weird boys came up to Changkyun and Wonho.” Kihyun points out, and Shownu looks at Wonho, hoping the older settled somethings. The black-haired locks eyes and adverts them from the leader, not wanting to say anything once again. Jooheon’s ears perk at the sentence, a memory flashing into his mind. He explains what happened a few days ago, how the boys tried to grab Changkyun away, giving off a weird vibe. 

“Jooheon, why didn’t you tell us this?” Shownu lightly scolds.

The rapper scratched his head, tilting it. “ I thought it would only be a one-time thing.”

“Changkyun, please tell us if there’s anything especially since…” Kihyun trails off, seeing Wonho was still standing around. Everyone but Changkyun, (who was still in the vocalist’s hold and unable to see) turns at the second oldest member, who looks up in confusion and stares back. 

“What?”

“We need to discuss something in private Wonho,” Shownu says, looking to the floor as he wasn’t sure how to put it nicely, biting his lower lip. “So, you might need to go in another room.”

Wonho looks around, slowly nodding as he doesn’t fully understand but, inside of his body a small pain, unsure what it was. He thinks it could be because the others singling him out could be the reason but, he didn’t want to dwell on it further. The older goes into the recording room where he first was, closing the door behind him and the trio look at Changkyun. Kihyun pulls away from the younger who was staying silent, seeing his emotions and peering into his face.

“Hyungs, I’m fine. Honestly.”

“No, there’s something weird going on Changkyun. Who are these boys, and why do they always want you to go with them?” Jooheon points out.”

“I don’t know.”

“You went with them last time, and you came in the dance room looking all tired.” Shownu also happens to point out, and the younger feels as if he’s stuck. He wants to leave, cut, cry, and scream, anything to get out of the situation. The hugging tactic started not to work much on Kihyun and Shownu so, Changkyun couldn’t think of anything else except go to Jooheon but, he still wasn’t entirely forgiving yet; Wonho was out of the question. 

“Changkyun…” Kihyun says softly, trying to also get an answer out of the younger. 

“I don’t know! I don’t know hyung!” Changkyun tries to push Kihyun away who grips tighter, pulling the younger closer to him. The older sighs, patting the maknae’s head and trying to calm him down from the small outburst.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Kyun.” The nickname hit Changkyun hard, surprisingly calming him down. It wasn't anything special but, it made him soften up. “I'll take him back to the dorm if we're not done recording here.”

“I think everything is well; we only need to put it together and see how it fits or we need to add extras. We can call it a day.” Shownu says and goes to get the other three as Kihyun, Jooheon, and Changkyun head out to call their manager for the van.  
_

“Okay, you're all set.” Kihyun finished putting ointment on Changkyun’s body, Jooheon right beside the pair with his hands over his eyes; peeking every now and then. It has been an everyday thing, something to get used to until he would be in better health. 

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Sorry, I need to get my charger…” Wonho comes inside head down at first and then lifts it up to see the scene on the top bunk, stunned speechless. Changkyun tries to hide his body and Jooheon attempts to shield the younger, Kihyun doing the same. The oldest looked on, eyes wide and mouth open, swallowing the knot in his throat and started backing away. “It’s alright, sorry…”

Changkun lowered his head in shame, his hand letting go of the sheets that poorly hid his body, grazing over his sweatpants near his thigh where is marks were hidden. It might be another long night ahead.


	12. Cuts, Dreams and Wonho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating! I had prom on Friday so I felt so so sluggish and I felt so dizzy and tired I couldn't think lol. It's really early aka 1:15 in the morning but, that just shows how prom messed up my sleep haha. Here is the next chapter and I hope you like it! Still thinking what Wonho would need to do for Changkyun and what Minhyuk and Hyungwon will do but, I'm sure I'll come up with some ideas. ^^

Changkyun sits in the top bunk, too ashamed to show his face at Wonho who probably would now feel sorry for him. The younger has his head in his hands, shaking as he replayed the moment Wonho walked into the room. He wished that he could go back in time to change the events but, that was very unlikely. When Kihyun came earlier to announce dinner was ready, Changkyun declined, and the other wasn’t too happy of course; the younger yelling at his hyung when he persisted and the other silently nodded, closing the door. He didn’t mean for his actions to go that far but, the feeling within him was overwhelming. Changkyun once again, lifted up his pant leg as the bare skin came to light, showing the scars on his inner thigh the more he went up. Thirteen injuries he had counted, and it seems to be getting worse as time went on. The younger touched the area, fingers grazing lightly across the rough markings. He reached into his pocket like it was a habit, a second nature and he pulled out the small blade.  
_

“What's wrong?” Jooheon and Changkyun sat in the usual room where they wrote lyrics, the older noticing that the other wasn’t talking much and not moving also for that matter. Jooheon leaned forward and turned to peer into Changkyun’s eyes, the look of emptiness within them. “Changkyun, did you want to stop for today? Did you want to rest?” 

Changkyun only shook his head slowly, not bothering to open his mouth. He didn’t talk yet and didn’t move much, ignoring almost everyone. Kihyun woke the younger earlier in the morning again, asking if Changkyun wanted breakfast but, he soon left because he received no response and the vocalist didn’t want to push him. The maknae received a hug and reassurance from Shownu, a soft smile directed to the leader back but, that was the only other emotion he showed. And as for Wonho, he never looked up and never made anymore eye contact, and if the pair happened to lock eyes, they would both turn away. The older knew the truth and Changkyun couldn’t hide it anymore, it would only be a matter of time until Hyungwon and Minhyuk found out. But, Changkyun didn’t need Wonho’s apologizes anymore, seeing no point in trying to forgive. The younger would accept all the other members, but at the moment, it seemed unlikely. 

Jooheon leaned on Changkyun’s shoulder, making him turn into the direction of his hyung and sigh. “Jooheon-”

“I’m not trying to do anything, okay. Even if you still hate me a little or not, I should still give you support. I’m not trying to make you forgive me, because that’s on your time but, I do want you to know you’re not alone.”

Changkyun nods, understanding the gesture and stays still in the silent room as they just relax, not worrying about the lyrics in front of them. 

An hour passes and Changkyun sees Kihyun talking to Shownu, something he isn’t sure why he paid attention to but, the younger feels it might be about him. He can’t hear what is being said, but when they both look at him for a quick second, he knows that he was right. Shownu nods, ending his conversation with the other vocalist and heads straight towards the younger, who starts to sweat and tense his body. He bites his lip so hard that blood could seep out, and Changkyun gulps heavily to see the stronger build walking straight towards him. When the leader reaches him, Shownu just passes by him, and it leaves Changkyun in the state of confusion. He turns around to see their leader walk up to Wonho who sat behind him, and the vocalist looks up from his phone. A wave of relief washes over the brunette as a hand goes to his chest, exhaling as he closes his eyes and trying his best to still his rapidly beating heart. He didn’t realize how fast the muscle was pounding, but it felt as if his rib cages could break at the force. Wonho stands and walks past Changkyun, Shownu following behind as they walk out of the room and Changkyun starts to get a little nosy. Even though he shouldn’t leave without telling anyone, the others don’t seem to be in sight anywhere. Kihyun went somewhere after talking to the leader, and Jooheon went with Hyungwon and Minhyuk to go fetch some food. 

Changkyun wanted to so severely wonder what the two oldest members were talking about but, he knew Wonho wouldn’t appreciate, and Kihyun would possibly catch him for trying to sneak a peek at the conversation. Jooheon comes inside the room with no food in his hand, confusing the younger as he looks around waiting for Hyungwon and Minhyuk to go behind but, they never walk inside. The brunette question, the older and Jooheon explains Kihyun went instead, and then it makes more sense. The room is silent as Jooheon play a game on his phone (one that Changkyun showed him, the rapper getting addicted) and Changkyun does the same, passing the time away. However, his eyes move to the social media apps that sit on his home screen, staring at the tempting feeling to tap on the square. The maknae touches the icon and holds, deleting it to never be seen again, a significant weight lifted from his shoulders. Wonho and Shownu come back after about twenty minutes but, Changkyun isn’t good with time. The black-haired passes the younger not saying a word, and he had hoped for an apology. 

The hour passed in silence and the three come back from ordering food, big grins on their faces and holding up four bags filled with food from the Korean restaurant that was close to the building. Changkyun and Jooheon clean off the table and make room for the heavy load their hyungs carried, soon placing it on the wooden furniture. Kihyun opens the bags, sorting out the food as the others take their seat; Changkyun next to the vocalist since he knew that if he did, he would get more, and it would make the older happy for eating. Shownu sorted out the plates and chopsticks, as well as napkins for the others. Once the food was organized, everyone dug in and started to place food on their plates. Shownu makes conversation, making Minhyuk join in about something funny they saw when they were out; though, Changkyun wasn’t listening to details. Jooheon places a dumpling on Changkyun’s plate, smiling as he comments how good they are and the younger decides to take it anyways. Wonho doesn’t say much except for a word or two or and a small chuckle, silently eating and Hyungwon does the same. The table ends up in sectioning to separate conversations: Minhyuk, Shownu and Hyungwon (sort of), Kihyun Changkyun, and Jooheon, and the Wonho, in his own world probably. 

“Kyun. Ahh~” Kihyun turns to Changkyun with a piece of kimbap between his chopsticks, and the action makes the other embarrassed, not wanting to look around him to see if everyone was watching. He opens his mouth, taking a bite and almost hiding his face with his bangs. On the other side of him, Jooheon holds out a piece of vegetable, and Changkyun takes no other choice to eat that as well, a smile appearing on the older. Minhyuk and Hyungwon observe the scene from the side, rolling their eyes as the maknae is being pampered with attention, and Wonho places some japchae on Changkyun’s plate, who looks up in confusion. Wonho doesn’t say anything but, the younger gives a small thanks, unsure how to deal with the situation. Changkyun feels that Wonho does want to apologize, he just doesn’t know how to go about it or say it, making the younger wonder what else the vocalist might say. The brunette picks up some lettuce, stuffing it surprisingly in Jooheon’s mouth as he laughed at something Kihyun noted ( possibly his lisp), and Changkyun finds his action as revenge. The maknae snorts, hand covering his mouth as if trying to hide his laughter, the look on the older's face was pretty funny. Jooheon tries his best to chew, cheeks blown up to look like a squirrel with nuts filled in its mouth. Kihyun tries his best to hold in his laughter, turning away from the scene. Jooheon (after finishing his forced food) grabs a piece of lettuce and shoves the green leaf into the maknaes mouth also, snorting at the face of the other.

“Hyung!” A muffled Changkyun partially shouts, almost unable to chew properly. It throws Kihyun and Shownu in a laughing fit, and Wonho looking the other way, a small laugh creeping up his throat. Hyungwon and Minhyuk looked away, a small smile on their lips that they try so hard to hide and not admit. If only everyday life could be like this, Changkyun thinks.  
_

After the members make it back to the dorm, Changkyun heads to the room and gets his stuff organized, settling to get ready for bed and dinner. Wonho comes inside, peeking in to see that the maknae was the only one in the room, and he closes the door softly behind himself. Changkyun turns to see the older, turning his head to focus on his task and the other hesitantly approaches him. 

“Hey, can we talk a little.” Wonho scratches his head. “I wanted to talk to you more about earlier and just everything to be exact.”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“Not here. I thought we could go out to get some coffee and talk over that? I’ll pay so don’t worry about that.”

Changkyun stops what he is doing, turning around again to face the older and silently nod, deciding that hopefully Wonho would apologize, and also would be willing to do whatever he has to take to gain the younger’s trust. Wonho signals to follow him, telling the other to grab a jacket so they can head out. Changkyun does just that, and the pair goes outside of the dorm, heading downstairs to make it out of the building. They walk down the cold sidewalk as silence is the only thing between them, the people walking around them almost doing the talking for them, and the sound of cars driving by as well. Wonho doesn’t speak, and so does Changkyun, hands in their pockets and looking at the stores or the vehicles to occupy themselves, gathering their words for the confirmation ahead. By the time they make it to the coffee shop, it’s crowded with a lot of body heat and the making of the hot beverage, the pair soon being strongly hit with the smell and warmth. Wonho makes his way to the line, finally having the courage to speak up and ask if Changkyun wanted to stay inside, and what he wanted. It was awkward, to say the least, and the younger decided they should go to the nearest park if they had to talk about things; a lot of about everything and it all needed to be brought on the table. Every issue needed to addressed, and Changkyun knew that if they were going to debut, everyone had to clean up their act. The younger stands awkwardly as he waits for the older to finish and Wonho soon comes back, handing the maknae his cup. He gives a small thanks and warms up his hands, both stepping outside in the cold once again and heading to the park. Changkyun ponders how well the talk would go, scared for how the result could turn out to be and it was nerve-wracking. When they reach the park, Wonho and Changkyun sit on the bench, the maknae shivering at the cold metal. 

“So, um, I apologize for my actions.” Wonho begins to say, caressing his fingers against the hot cup. “I’m sorry for hurting you when you’ve been trying your hardest and with all the crap you had to put up with. I acted that way because I just felt so angry and disappointed at how fucked up everything was but, that’s no excuse for my behavior, and it was never your fault. I should have never treated you in such a way. I know that by acting that way, I most likely made you feel unappreciated and I knew that it hurt you. I’m sorry Changkyun.”

“I appreciate the apology but, you’ve hurt me a lot. We were supposed to be a team yet, you turned your back on me, and it didn’t have to last this long. I’ve tried my hardest but, I never received everyone’s support.”

“I know, I’m truly sorry.”

“No Wonho,” The older turns in surprise, blinking rapidly. “You really don’t know. I can say think because you know now but, I’ve been suffering for so long. While you, Hyungwon and Minhyuk attacked me with your harsh words, I was being beaten by people I barely even knew.”

Wonho doesn’t say anything except play with the sleeve of the coffee cup, knowing that this apology wasn’t supposed to be comfortable. Changkyun takes a drink of his cup, the taste burning his tongue as his face contorted in an unsatisfying way. It gets silent as the pair sits on the bench, the wind blowing softly against their bodies, the older wanting to say more but, his mouth doesn’t move.

“Well, do you have anything else to say?” Changkyun questions, a little harsh tone that makes Wonho a bit nervous than before; feeling a bit overwhelmed and as if he didn’t do a great job at apologizing. Of course, it wasn’t the world's best, it made Wonho feel a little sad.

“I honestly don’t know what else to say.” The older comes forward with guilt, knowing there was more to say but he was just feeling too much pressure. He genuinely wanted to make things right but, in the end, the black-haired always seemed to screw up everything.

Changkyun sighs and gets up from the bench. “I figured you would say that. It’s alright I guess. Let’s just go home then if that’s the case.”

“I’ll stay here…”

“Shownu-hyung wouldn’t like that. We have to go back together.”

“I don’t want to go back home…” Wonho starts becoming stubborn for no reason, and Changkyun feels like he’s getting frustrated. 

“Wonho-”

“I don’t want to go home!” The older turns away, hiding the tears that are threatening to fall and he feels so weak. He tells himself not to cry because the younger has gone through worse, way worse, but, Wonho feels defeated. The emotion of trying his best in apologizing, only to for most of it to be ignored and as if it meant nothing. He realized Changkyun felt just the same of working hard in something and pouring it out, only to be rejected. For weeks, the older tried his best to come up with an apology, he hoped tonight’s would be better than what had happened last time. “I honestly don’t know what to do Changkyun. I’m sorry, you keep hating me if you wish but, I want you to recognize that I tried.”

Wonho’s words spilled out through his sobs, hiccupping at how hard he started to cry as Changkyun only watched on, never seeing his hyung in such a state. The older continued as he tried wiping away his tears but, that didn’t seem to work.

“I know you’re expecting more out of my apology and truthfully, I am too because it sucks. I know that simple words won’t cure anything you have against me nor will it excuse my actions but, I don’t want this tension to keep growing. I’ll do anything, I don’t care if I have to embarrass myself in front of people or if I have to do your chores or something but, I just want you to forgive me. But honestly Changkyun, I don’t know what else to say because I’m scared I’ll screw up again just like how I did now.”

“Come on, let’s go home.” Is all Changkyun says, and Wonho still shakes his head. A sigh falls between the youngers lips, as he sits next to Wonho. The brunette awkwardly wraps an arm around the shoulders of the other, patting it in with no other choice left. “You did well okay. Better than last time.”

Wonho shakes his head. “I made no progress at all. I’m just a screw-up, and I always will be that way. I’m sorry Changkyun, I really am but, I’ll do anything to get your trust if you’d like to have me around you.”

“I mean of course I would like for you to be around me, we’re a team that now have to work together. But, you won’t always be a crew up Wonho. I still, of course, haven’t fully forgiven but, I know you aren’t always like that.”

Wonho turns his body, the older wrapping his arms around, the younger and crying in the other's jacket. “I’m sorry Changkyun. I’m really really sorry. I’ve been the worst hyung ever, hurting you when you’ve hurting underneath. I hate myself so much I just want to disappear.”

“Well, let’s get you home okay? I do appreciate you trying for apologizing, that’s a powerful thing to do okay?”

Wonho nodded, pulling away and slowly stands up with the help of Changkyun who stays by his side. The pair makes it inside the dorm by nine at night, Kihyun and Shownu rush towards them for how long they’ve been out. With all the other members already eaten and in bed, Kihyun makes their plates they had missed, Wonho trying his best to create a conversation with the younger. Shownu smiles from afar, folding his arms as sleeping Jooheon comes from behind and looks out where the older is staring. The rapper sees the scene, smiling as well to see the pair slowly making amends.


	13. Chores, Slow Forgiving and Fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Finally got this chapter done! I'm not sure how long I want this to be lol but, I think I have an idea.

“What else do we need to do that's on the list Changkyun?” Wonho turned to the younger as they worked together on the laundry that Kihyun dumped on them. After the pair talked in the park last night, they came to an agreement and Wonho would have to work for Changkyun’s forgiveness (physically), and the older accepted in a heartbeat. Before everyone woke up (Hyungwon, Minhyuk, and Jooheon still sleeping in at the moment), Wonho and Changkyun told Kihyun and Shownu about their talk, the short vocalist smiling with a big grin as he gave the two all the chores needed to be done. Changkyun and Wonho probably should have reconsidered talking to Kihyun as well, the brunette overly excited about them doing chores (in which Kihyun can now have his lazy day).

 

“Well, what Kihyun wrote on this paper: Dishes, sweep floors, wipe the windows, organize the closets, clean the kitchen counters, mop the kitchen floor, get groceries for dinner, organize the bathroom and the fridge, and clean the living room.”

 

Wonho gulped, putting his forearm to his head as he leaned back against the washing machine, a long sigh leaving his lips. “Geez, I bet Kihyun is giving this to us just because he thinks he can. Probably one of his fantasies."

 

Changkyun can't help but chuckle at the last part. “Like he just put a bunch of bullshit on the page?”

 

The older nodded, pouring the soap and fabric softener into the machine, turning the dials and the washer began working. The clothes tumbled softly, the washer lightly vibrating as it starts to do its job. Wonho and Changkyun look around them as they still had about six loads they needed to do (not knowing how it could end up with so many dirty clothes), and Wonho wanted nothing more than to just workout in the gym. But if he needed to get along with Changkyun, the black-haired did say he would do anything.

 

For the next two hours, Wonho and Changkyun (partially, due to his still weakened condition) work on more chores, finishing up about four that were on the list excluding the laundry that almost seemed to never stop. The older had let the brunette rest and did the windows, organizing the fridge and as well as the cupboards. Doing the dishes side by side with Changkyun and doing more laundry, and then sweeping the floors together, and folding the clothes that became dry. With the approval of lazy Kihyun, both Changkyun and Wonho throw themselves on the couch as they exhale in satisfaction, gulping down ice cold water to cool themselves down. And the feeling the soft fabric of the couch and being able to relax their muscles, it was indeed a fantastic feeling to just stop working; feeling like an endless cycle. Although Changkyun was supposed to let Wonho do all the work, he decided to just help him to get used to his presence and be able to hold a conversation with him. Kihyun gets up from the couch to cook the hard-working duo some food, letting them talk about what they should watch. It was awkward to be around Wonho, bumping into him and then both apologizing quickly. Usually, it would be silent as they stood side by side or back to back, never sharing anything which wasn't going to get them anywhere but, what would they talk about? They still barely knew one another, always insulted one another (Wonho doing the most insulting) and never really could stay in the same room unless for dancing, recording or being filmed. After finishing about three chores, the pair started talking more, and the air felt less tense but, Changkyun wasn’t going to go that easy on the older. While it lasts, Changkyun decides to make Wonho do almost everything for him, and for a week as a punishment. Even if humiliating the elder would be nice, the younger would know how to go about it, and if it were public, that would make the band look bad for the debut. Yeah, the black-haired could post a weird video (which Changkyun was still thinking about), the younger felt like it wouldn’t be enough. So Changkyun decided to just have Wonho do mostly everything.

 

After the pair decides on a horror movie, (much to Kihyun’s demise) the vocalist comes back with some food, and the couple both jump up in excitement. The pair digs in and starts eating to fill up their empty stomachs, sighing in content.

 

“Wonho, feed me.” Changkyun smiles, a slight evil motive behind the grin. Wonho complies as he grabs some meat and holds it out to the younger, who happily takes it from the others chopsticks. Changkyun knows he’s going to enjoy this for as long as it lasts.

  
_

After another two hours, Wonho and Changkyun finish all the chores Kihyun assigned, sitting back down on the couch as they turn the television back on for any more movies. The youngers muscles hurt, rubbing his shoulders to give himself a soft massage when it clicks in his mind. He sits up and faces his back towards the older, grabbing the others attention from the square box projecting another movie.

 

“Hey Wonho, could you massage my shoulders?”

 

The other nods and does what he is asked to do, placing his hands on the youngers petite body, a little scared considering how frail the younger still was.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you right? I know you’re probably still recovering.”

 

“I mean, as long as it isn’t too painful and forceful, then it’s alright.”

 

Wonho gives other nods and starts to move his hands by applying pressure the other’s shoulders, trying his best not to hurt the other, primarily since he was very well built, so Wonho watched how much effort he put. Changkyun closes his eyes and breathes out his nose, holding back a small grunt and moan at how good it felt. He didn’t want to let such noises to fall off his lips and scare the other, biting his bottom lip as the movement continued. He should make conversation the brunette tells himself, slightly moving his head to the television for any ideas. Changkyun tries his best to come up with a question that will last long, until at least until Kihyun and the others come back from shopping. But the way Wonho moved his hands against Changkyun’s shoulder honestly felt terrific, almost clouding his mind.

 

“Have you seen this movie before?” Changkyun tries his best to come up with something through his small grunt.

 

“No, even though it looks dumb it’ll pass the time.”

 

“Ah, I see. Do you know what it’s about?”

 

“Not really sure.” Wonho looks to the screen to see what is happening. “It seems like whoever has the red shoes or wears them, they have a curse, and then something kills them., leaving them with their feet cut off.”

 

“Ew, that has to suck.” Changkyun also turns to the screen as well. “But, they look pink. Seems odd that they call them red.”

 

Wonho chuckles a little, sliding his hands down to the sides of the shoulders and rubs with the same pressure. “There were The Three Extremes, but that movie had me taking in too much information for my brain.”

 

“Was it the plot?”

 

“No, it was just there were three movies in one, and I was just like okay, this is enough.”

 

Changkyun chuckles a little, and a particular pressure hitting him pretty hard as it runs down his back, a long and loud moan emitting from his lips, moving his body forward. He didn’t mean for the sound to come out dirty, but it for sure made Wonho stop.

 

“I didn’t hurt you, right? Or was it something…”

 

Changkyun shakes his head. “No, it felt good. Sorry about making such a noise.”

 

“You know if Kihyun or Shownu came in they’d whoop my ass.” Wonho chuckles. “Well, if it feels good especially for your bruises then it’s alright.”

 

“I guess so,” Changkyun starts feeling embarrassed, wanting to hide his face. “I’m guessing you didn’t tell Minhyuk and Hyungwon about my injuries?”

 

“Well, I will say that I know some of my limits, and I knew you wouldn’t appreciate me telling the others. It’s also not my business to do so behind your back.”

 

“Wow. That’s considerate.”

 

Wonho lets out a chuckle, his next tone in a joking matter. “I guess you could say I was surprised my brain was that smart.”

 

Changkyun snorts, lifting his hand to cover his mouth. He didn’t expect to laugh this much, especially when he’s still upset at the older.

 

“You should laugh more.”

 

The sentence throws off the younger. “What?”

 

“Since I know you’ve been hurting the past few months, so it was hard to do so but, you should laugh and smile more.” Changkyun stays a little silent, forgetting that Wonho was still massaging his shoulders until the pressure hit him once again. A small smile made its way up to Changkyun’s lips.

 

“Thanks, I guess. At least you’re realizing my suffering.”

 

Within seconds the door opens, the rest of the members coming inside with groceries in their hands. Kihyun places the bags on the kitchen table, Jooheon jumping on the couch with Wonho and Changkyun, wanting a back massage also. The second youngest clings on the older, Shownu walking towards the couch and trying to ignore the commotion.

 

“I need help with the groceries here!”

 

Wonho looks at Changkyun, the smile that the younger gives him just tells the older what he needed to do, nodding his head with a chuckled sigh as he gets up to help the other vocalist. Changkyun scoots to the oldest hyung, resting his head in the other’s broad shoulders. Shownu pats the younger's head, leaning his own on top of the others.

 

“How is everything?” Shownu keeps his voice low; a little below a whisper. His tone soft as well as his hand that caresses the maknae's hair.

 

Changkyun nods as he nuzzles his nose into his leader’s shoulder and closes his eyes. “It’s getting better. Hopefully, it’ll stay that way.”

 

“If we’ve made it this far, I’m sure we can accomplish more.”

  
_

“For here, emphasize this move.”

 

Changkyun and Shownu work in the dance room, sharpening their moves as the others sit along the wall, sweating and still breathing heavily. Kihyun and Jooheon in their own conversation as they do something on one of their phones. Minhyuk and Hyungwon converse themselves, Wonho staring at the dancing pair, eyes concentrated on reviewing the dance also. Every move carefully executed with counts and then slowly sped up for the younger to understand.

 

“Now for this part, put your hand on your chest while this arm is extending out. The part you miss which is tricky is the foot. You wanna tap out like this. Then, you would stand straight and cross your arms, they swing them out as if you're pushing away something.”

 

“Ah, I always forget that part.”

 

“No shit Sherlock.” Minhyuk voices out and Changkyun turns his head in the elder's direction.

 

“Wait!” Wonho shouts and puts a hand up in the air to stop anything else from happening, everyone is slightly surprised when he speaks up. “The dance room will now be a no fight zone. It's a lot of stress, and we already have too much of that with the formation and all of that.”

 

“Really Wonho?” Hyungwon says, tilting his head in confusion. “That's odd coming from you.”

 

“Now Wonho is a goodie two shoes.” Minhyuk mumbles, the black-haired biting the inside of his mouth to try and not say anything back.

 

“Minhyuk just shut the fuck up.”

 

Everyone looks up at Wonho, eyes wide and for some, mouths agape. Changkyun feels something might happen with the way Wonho and Minhyuk now stare at each other, looking as if one move or a sound could create havoc. It makes the younger want to run away, not sure what to do about the scene in front of him.

 

“Wonho, stop acting so fake. You probably still hate Changkyun, and here you are protecting him and sucking up to him when all you did was talk shit. Why do you have to follow him around and do everything for him now? How about you tell him all the things you say about him?”

 

Changkyun gets a little scared, never seeing Wonho and Minhyuk fight with one another, and never thinking it would happen. The maknae slowly hides behind Shownu, the leader extending an arm out to shield him, whispering to sit with Jooheon and Kihyun. The brunette does what he is told and awkwardly walks to the pair, sitting down between the rapper and vocalist who wraps him in a tight hug.

 

“Because we agreed that the stupid rumors have been stretched out as far as it could be, and holds no meaning. If you just one day happened to listen to what he says, you'll feel better about yourself. And maybe because I decided to stop being an inconsiderate moron like yourself so we can start acting like a real band.

 

Minhyuk chuckles dryly. “So, now I'm to blame? Why don't you stop being a two-faced asshole.”

 

“Screw off Minhyuk, the rumors and your statements are wrong, and I finally realized that because do you know why? You were the one who picked last and not Changkyun, so I think that says a lot of who had more potentional.”

 

That was Minhyuk’s breaking point, getting up quickly to charge at Wonho, the other doing the same the first second that he sees movement. Shownu runs, trying his best to stop the pair from something happening. Jooheon, Changkyun and Kihyun all huddle together in shock and freight.

 

“Enough!” Shownu comes between the two, holding out his arms to both of them. “Minhyuk and Hyungwon, take a walk.”

 

“Me also? But I-”

 

Shownu cuts the taller blonde off, his tone of voice was stronger.

 

“Take a walk.”

 

The two blondes huff, not saying anything else and choosing instead to leave the dance room, closing the door hard behind them. It's silent, the tense air floating around as no words are shared. Thoughts filled with worry, wondering what is it that they should do next. Changkyun huddled closer to his hyungs sandwiched next to him, noticing the younger shaking uncontrollably, his grip tightening on Kihyun’s shirt. Jooheon pats the maknaes back, which scares him out of his trance for a quick second.

 

“Sorry,” Changkyun speaks up, very low but everyone heard what he had said.

 

“Why are you sorry? I’m the one who escalated things with Minhyuk; I think I should be the one saying that. I do regret telling Minhyuk about him being last.” Wonho brushes his hand through his hair, sighing as he looked at the door, wondering what would happen if the pair came back. Changkyun looks down, thinking that he caused the situation, it was something he was used to, and it wasn’t a rare occurrence.

 

“It’s not you Changkyun,” Shownu speaks, the younger didn’t know he was being stared at by the oldest. “I’m telling that don’t blame yourself. I see that look in your eyes. It’s not your fault.”

 

“But-”

 

“No buts. Minhyuk and I haven’t been getting along lately, and I think today was the day where we just happened to blow up.” Wongo sighs, getting up and heading towards the door. “I’m going to go get some water.”

 

“I’ll come. I need to make sure you and Minhyuk don’t kill one another if you guys bump into each other.” Shownu walks to the entrance as well, turning his attention to the trio that is still huddled up on the dance floor. “Kihyun, why don’t you go take Jooheon and Changkyun for like some ice cream or something?”

 

“We’re not kids, leader.” Jooheon pout, not really convincing anyone with that look.

 

“Actually, I’ll tag along!” Wonho turns back, a massive smile on his face. The word of ice cream catching his attention and another sigh emits from Shownu, shaking his head. Everyone, young or not, acts like a child and Shownu isn’t sure if he can hold up much longer.

 

“Fine, we’ll all go then; change of plans.”

 

The trio stand, helping up the youngest who doesn’t say anything and follow the other five out of the dance room. Changkyun doesn’t know what to do anymore, everything around him starting to eat him alive. He isn’t sure if he could hold on for any longer, even if he still hasn’t gotten bullied and beaten the boys, the emotional hurt and suffering seems to have replaced the physical pain for now. All Changkyun can do is hope for the best, and he hopes that would happen soon.


	14. Close ups, Close calls, and Close Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a long long time. I have only nine days till graduation and it's just stressing me out so so much. I guess you can guess who is the next member to make amends with Changkyun haha. Hopefully, next chapter will come out quicker. Thank you for reading everyone!

After the incident in the dance room, the remaining members had gone to a park for some ice cream to calm down the heavy tension that had floated. When everyone had finished, the five came back to the dorm, and Wonho throws himself on the couch, content with all the ice cream he's eaten, patting his stomach with a big smile on his face. All the members (excluding Minhyuk and Hyungwon) start to trickle into the living room of the dorm, Jooheon laughing at what the maknae was saying and letting go of the younger. Changkyun’s the last member to walk inside, stepping into the warm room and taking Shownu's jacket off of himself. The air had started to become cold when they were out, and the leader offered Changkyun his coat, something the younger was very hesitant about. He looks around the dorm, not once seeing the blonde pair anywhere in sight. Shownu and Wonho seem to catch the confused look the other gives, the oldest opening his mouth.

"They must be out cooling down some more. I texted Minhyuk that we did leave the dance room or else that could have started another fight if I didn't. He should know that to come over to the dorm when they are finished with whatever they are doing."

"Like that's going to stop them. Always looking for trouble." Wonho states, getting and a quick look from Shownu, the black-haired raising his hands in defense. "Hey, I am stating the truth okay. I didn't want to fight today; honest."

Wonho makes his way down the hallway, and Changkyun hands Shownu his jacket, thanking the older for the kind gesture.

"How are you feeling Changkyun? You aren't pushing yourself too much right?"

"Yeah, thank you for worrying about me. I had a nice time by getting ice cream; it relieved my mind and especially since everyone was trying to make me laugh."

"We love you that's why. Even though it's not as fast as you had hoped but, I'm glad we aren't stuck. Remember what I told you on the first day when we had our first dance practice?"

"I believe so." Changkyun looks up at Shownu, who pulls the other closer to him to console him.

"Sometimes it takes two people for things to work." The memory comes back to the younger. He has to think if Shownu wasn't there from the beginning, he would have been so lost and never had that hope. To think that if he had no one to turn to, the brunette would for sure not be where he is at now. "You're getting there Changkyun. You now have four hyungs who are looking out for you, and I'm sure all six will give you that love and support."

Changkyun smiles, nuzzling against his leader and thanking him for all the strength he's always given. Shownu pats his shoulders, telling the youngest to go and change into more comfortable clothing. He does so and goes down the hallway, making his way to the shared room where Wonho and Kihyun have started to change their clothes. Although they're all guys, the youngest still gets a little nervous around his bandmates who are only getting into more comfortable clothing.

“Did you want to take a shower first? I can put more ointment on you.” Kihyun asks, pulling a shirt over his head.

“Um, sure. Also-”

“Don't worry.” Wonho cuts him off, smiling as he knows what Changkyun will say. “I'm helping since it's my job to take care of you for a week. We'll have Jooheon take a break.”

Changkyun nods, scratching his head as a small laugh emits from his lips. “The way you say it and word the sentence is weird but, thanks.”

The younger goes to grab his clothes, heading towards the unoccupied bathroom and turning on the light. He takes off his shirt, looking at himself in the mirror as his hand comes up to graze the now fading and faint bruises. It's a shock to see that his skin was now regaining its natural color, one he had almost forgotten over the past month. Of course, the face of the brunette wasn't beat or any part of his body that was visible but, he avoided mirrors the best he could especially when Hyungwon comments put on double damage. How he was ugly, his acne scars still visible and how he should watch what he eats; though Kihyun has been religiously checking if Changkyun has been eating. After noticing the younger hadn't been eating and snapped out of his bitch mode of ignoring the maknae, he made it his job to feed him.

After stripping off all his clothes, he gets inside the steaming hot shower, something he always looked forward to when he came to the dorm. When he finished washing and then drying his body, he changed into more comfortable clothes and made his way to the room where he would finally reveal his body fully to Wonho; up close and not just a quick glance like the last time. Even with all the nerves running through Changkyun's body, he knows that he needs to get the situation over with and show Wonho how long he's been hurting; for real and up close and personal. The younger peeks his head inside the room to see the two vocalists sitting on the top bunk, conversing as they wait. Changkyun makes his way inside and catches Kihyun’s attention, patting the space in front of him, and that makes Wonho turn around. With a nervous smile, the younger slowly makes his way up the bunk, settling himself between the two; Changkyun facing Wonho with his back to Kihyun. Everything felt as if it was silent, almost as if he couldn't hear any sounds and wanting to just tell the shorter that he changed his mind and would instead go to bed. The shorter vocalist lifted Changkyun's shirt slowly, the younger gripping his slightly damp towel as he looked at Wonho’s expression who wore a scared and nervous look. Changkyun lifted up his arms for the piece of clothing to be taken off, being placed to the side and Kihyun started to work on the younger's back.

Changkyun’s body was now revealed, and although his injuries were fading, it was still pretty bad as the ones that did happen fade away had very faint markings, telling the older there were more before. Wonho turns his head away, biting his bottom lip as no words come from him. It makes Changkyun feels very small in the situation he’s in, looking down to not meet Wonho’s eyes who has now slowly turned back his way, filled with worry and regret. He reaches a hand out towards Changkyun, his fingertips coming in contact with the other’s skin who flinches slightly. The older's eyes trail around the younger’s body, having Kihyun to snap him back to reality.

“Here.”

The other vocalist says, holding out the tube of ointment towards Wonho who grabs it silently, pouring a good amount on his fingers. He gently places his hands on Changkyun shoulders, rubbing the skin softly and then covering his chest with the medicine.

“H-how long has this been going on for?” Wonho’s words came out hesitantly, quiet as if he would break glass; not wanting to scare off the younger and making sure he didn't trigger the other.

“I would say two days after the line up was decided.” Changkyun’s voice is low, fiddling with the towel in his hands. He didn’t want to speak anymore but, nonetheless, he kept going. Maybe he can share some things without spilling too much. “It was when we were doing a photo shoot, and everyone left me in the building but, it wasn’t that bad at the time.”

The last sentence hits Wonho and Kihyun hard, their eyes locking with one another and then to the maknae who looks down. The pair vaguely remembers when Changkyun was left behind, knowing just how it could be avoided and it wouldn't put the younger in so much hurt.

"It only started to get worse when we would go to the dance practices.”

“Wait, dance practices? Doesn’t that mean they still go to the company? That’s the only place where we have them.” Kihyun says, making Changkyun sweat and mentally curse as he possibly said too much. Before the vocalists could ask any more questions, the doorknob slowly turns, causing the trio to panic as Wonho grabs the towel in Changkyun’s hand and cover the front of his body. Kihyun pulls back, dragging the oldest and younger into him and they end up awkwardly on top of one another. In the last second before the door swings open, the three shift to make it look as if they are sleeping, the mysterious person finally coming inside. Changkyun can feel his heart thumping against his chest, as well as feeling Kihyun’s rapid heartbeat against his back, the younger’s hand against Wonho’s chest and feeling his. There’s the light tap of feet on the hardwood floor, whoever was walking opening the drawers and shifting through clothes. Jooheon would have made himself known or would have called out, leading Changkyun to believe that Minhyuk is the one in the room.

“Minhyuk, where are the others?” Shownu pops his head in, looking around and finding his answer on the top bunk. A small ‘oh’ leaves his lips, seeing the small area of skin from Changkyun, getting the answer on why they were laying down; they weren’t sleeping.

“I guess they’re here. Everyone favoring the maknae.”

“Min. He's a good kid. You just have to push away those negative feelings you have of him.” Changkyun’s grip on Wonho’s shirt tightens as well as his heart, uncomfortable with hearing the conversation. Kihyun’s hand secretly rubbing the younger’s back and the other vocalist grabs hold of Changkyun's hand. “All I ask of you is to not put so much pressure on Changkyun. You don't know what he could be going through, and he might be going through a handful.”

Minhyuk stays quiet, shrugging his shoulders and looking down back at the clothes in his hands. “I guess.”

“Where's Hyungwon?”

“In the other room, I think.”

Shownu leaves the room, and Minhyuk just stays to grab the rest of his clothes. Once the blonde leaves, the trio slowly rise from the bunk bed, looking around and sighing in relief. Kihyun looks at the younger to see how he was holding up, the small exchange of words between Shownu and Minhyuk most likely hitting him hard.

“I don't want to go out there to eat dinner.” Changkyun voices out, putting on his shirt and then hugging his body close to himself.

Kihyun nods, making his way off the bunk to presumably start cooking. "Okay, I can bring it in here for you then."

“Hey, sorry about all of this tension. Maybe I shouldn't have ignited the fire more by talking back to Minhyuk.” Wonho turns to the smaller, sighing and scratching the back of his head.

“It's alright, I mean, I did it too before.” Changkyun then lightly chuckles. “Sad to say but, it was entertaining to hear you say Minhyuk was picked last.”

“Oh yeah, that…” Wonho chuckles himself as well. “Hey, I'll help Kihyun with cooking so you can stay here and eat. Did you want me to come back and eat with you, so you're not alone?”

“Sure, I don't mind. Thank you for looking out for me.”

Wonho nods, patting Changkyun’s head as he makes his way off the bunk. "Hey, you really are a good kid Changkyun. It took some pushing or me to open up but, I'm glad I did it in the end. Let work really hard for our debut Changkyun."

He disappears out the door and the youngest sighs, falling back into the mattress. He lifts up his pants leg, fingers once again grazing the cuts in his leg out of habit. He hasn't done anything recently, but the scars had gone up in number, now moving onto his other leg. Changkyun hopes he doesn't need to place the sharp razor against his skin but, it was so tempting and unavoidable.  
_

Changkyun wakes up earlier than everyone else, making his way inside the bathroom as he puts on his facial cremes and going through his morning routine. Although he stopped for a while, the younger now tried his best to make it a habit, trying his best to rid himself of the acne scars. Among the ten bottles he had all spread out on the tile sink, so far, nothing seemed to work. Of course, results won't come quick but for a week he's had them, it didn't give him any new findings. He didn't want to get picked on by the taller blonde, aka Hyungwon who seemed to be very uptight about the group's image for debut; visual wise. Changkyun looked into the mirror, gently patting his face with toner. As if on cue, Hyungwon comes inside without any announcement and makes the younger scamper. The brunette tries his best to grab all the items off the counter, the taller one stopping him his tracks and staring in confusion, all the facial products spilling onto the floor. Changkyun messily tried to grab all the items, turning back towards Hyungwon with a weird smile.

“What’s all this stuff? It’s a huge mess.”

“It’s uhm- my facial products.” Changkyun looked down at all the bottles. He shoots the other a small smile, soon fading into a sad one. “Since you said that I need to better my skin, I was doing this.”

“But this much?” Hyungwon knew Changkyun started to take better care of his face but, to this extent. It made a little tug at the older's heart, looking at the facial cremes that arranged the bathroom sink, some on the floor that had fallen.

“Well, it's not like you should care. As long as I'm not unattractive for debut right?”

Changkyun leaves no more room for Hyungwon to speak, walking out of the restroom and heading towards the shared room to put away some of the facial products. Hyungwon turns around to watch the shorter walk out without any other words discussed between them. The older looks down at the products that Changkyun forgot to pick up (even though he had many things in his hands), and Hyungwon picked up the rest of the facial products.

At the moment (well, almost every second of the day) the brunette wanted to disappear, to hide in a hole. He placed his hand in his pocket but stopped, knowing it wasn't the best thing to do at the moment. Instead, he looked for Kihyun to hug since he was close, but the vocalist wasn't there; neither was Jooheon which was Changkyun’s second choice. He was the only one in the room at the moment, signaling that everyone was now awoken up (especially if Hyungwon was up and about). The younger walks out into the living room, seeing Wonho, Minhyuk, and Jooheon on the couch while Shownu and Kihyun were in the kitchen. With not wanting to disturb the pair cooking, Changkyun shuffles his way to Jooheon and Wonho, lying between them and cuddling up to the second oldest who turns around in confusion at first. The brunette doesn't want to cry but feels the tears almost come, and Changkyun buries himself into the black-haired. Minhyuk turns away in silence, switching the channel while the other two comfort the younger. He doesn't say anything, even though the small interaction with Hyungwon wasn't a big deal.

“Is everything okay?” Jooheon whispered softly, rubbing the back of Changkyun as Wonho awkwardly, and hesitantly combed the younger’s hair with his fingers.

Changkyun shrugs his shoulders, not voicing anything else which confuses the pair more.

“It's not Hyungwon is it?” Wonho whispers and earns another shrug. The pair isn't sure on how to think of the younger but, they don’t push the issue even though they slowly realized what the problem was. Changkyun just stayed snuggled into Wonho’s side, making Minhyuk silently sigh and get up from the couch and make his way down the hallway; not wanting to start anything and shutting his mouth. After a few moments, Shownu turns around to announce that the food was ready, stopping midway to see the scene in front of him on the living room couch.

“Aw, what’s wrong Changkyun?” Shownu makes his way to the couch, the question had made Kihyun stop at what he was doing.

“I don’t know. I’m honestly not sure why I don’t feel that alright.”

“Do you think it’s because you haven’t eaten?” Kihyun questions from the kitchen as he dries his hands. He starts to set the table and the food, his full attention on the younger to make sure he was alright even though he was doing things.

“Did Hyungwon or Minhyuk do anything weird?” Wonho asks again. “Well, Minhyuk didn’t do anything yet so, he’s out of the picture.”

Changkyun shook his head. “No, it was just, Hyungwon was asking me questions, and he doesn’t talk to me much so, I guess it freaked me out.”

Jooheon tilts his head, hoping his question won't tick off the youngest. “He didn’t say anything hurtful to you did he?”

Another shake of the head by the younger, lifting his head from Wonho's side but still had his head hung low. “He was questioning why I used so many skin products and just asking me things. To see him talking to me as if nothing happened was so weird.”

“I know he’s possibly trying to make amends after what happened in the dance room but, I know you’re not very comfortable with those two yet. Especially if Hyungwon is really quiet.” Shownu sits down and watches as Jooheon and Wonho try their best to comfort the youngest; obviously never having Changkyun come up to them for any help.

“Well, food is done so you guys can come over and eat.”

The three leave a supportive pat on Changkyun’s back, urging him to come with them and eat. Shownu, Wonho, Kihyun, and Jooheon all smile at the maknae and it makes the maknae smile on return, the sight telling him how far he has been able to go and hopes to move further.


	15. Messes, Photo shoots, and Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry if this chapter isn't much and for not updating. I started to get sick but I'm slowly feeling better, and thank you to those who understood my situation with me graduating soon! I have two more days left and now it's time to get my driver's license!
> 
> BTW PLEASE READ THIS P.S. BELOW! IT INVOLVES THE STORY!
> 
> P.S. Would you guys want a little like relationship? In the end, there won't be a set relationship but will have a small rivalry? How do you guys feel about that?

Changkyun and Wonho do some more of the chores that the short tempted vocalist listed, once again in the laundry room as they wash the dirty clothes that piled up within the week; working together as Changkyun’s body started to feel much better (with the care of his four hyungs). As the lazy Kihyun relaxes in the living room with one of the other members, and Shownu and Jooheon work out at a nearby gym. The pair should have known not to let all the clothes pile up but, their schedule had now started to become a little more hectic to do any cleaning. Changkyun wipes his forehead, his whole body feeling hot and knows he is dripping with sweat as they finish putting in the clothes and getting the wet ones in the dryer. His relationship with Wonho has improved and also took notice of how Hyungwon was walking around a lot more but, that was the least of his worries. Ever since Changkyun came to cuddle next to Wonho when he was freaked out by Hyungwon speaking to him like an average person, the older was now being a bit protective of him. Sometimes not even letting Shownu, Jooheon or Kihyun cuddle with the maknae, something which confused him because now everyone (but Hyungwon and Minhyuk of course), had started to be all over him 24/7. The youngest knew that the blonde taller was trying to get close to him now, leaving Minhyuk the Brat to be the last person to admit his wrongdoing. He had wished that if only all the other members were from the start and understanding like Shownu had been, the whole situation would be better than what it really is now. 

Wonho grabbed the soap as Changkyun started clearing up space in the laundry room and catching the fabric softener, the detergent that Wonho had in his hand soon spilling onto the floor. With a small yelp and covering his mouth, Changkyun look in up in an instant to see the mess that the clumsy other did. Both the older and the younger stop and stay still, looking towards the floor and then at one another as if they didn’t know what to do about the situation. And when they hear footsteps coming closer to the small room, Changkyun and Wonho panic as they try to figure out something to cover the mess or think of an excuse. In the small amount of time they have, Kihyun steps inside confused by the noise he had heard until he spots the thick liquid slowly spreading the floor. His eyes almost fall out in shock, even walking in the detergent which doesn't make the situation better.

“Wonho! Oh my god, you are just so clumsy, I swear. If Changkyun weren’t here, I would kill you.”

“Even if you did that, there will be more things for you to clean up. And I know I did it but you just automatically assumed it was me!”

“And I wasn't wrong.” Kihyun sasses the other, placing a hand on his hip. He then grabs Changkyun by the arm, pulling him closer to himself, and the younger isn't sure why. “Clean this up, I'll be taking Changkyun with me since you've been hogging him all to yourself.”

“What?! He doesn't at least help me?”

Kihyun shakes his head, turning around to walk out of the laundry room. Changkyun turns around and sticks his tongue out at the older, receiving a playful glare back.

“I'll get you next time,” Wonho whispers so that Kihyun wouldn't hear.

Changkyun chuckles, leaving the room with Kihyun who brings him closer to him and grabbing his cheeks. The younger whines, hearing the older gushing over him and about how Wonho and the others wouldn’t share him. Changkyun sees Hyungwon and Minhyuk sitting on the couch, as Kihyun goes to the bathroom to wash off his feet, the younger feeling scared and deciding to follow the vocalist to the restroom. Kihyun sees the younger following him, a small smile and a pat on the back to reassure that everything was alright, and Changkyun was glad he had some support even when Shownu is out. 

“You can stay with me if it makes you feel safer.”

Even though Changkyun knew that he should attempt to go up to the pair, he was always afraid what he would receive back. Now with a month and a half left for the debut, he really hoped that he would get along with all the members by then, also praying that the boys will never bother him again.  
_

Changkyun waits patiently after getting hair and makeup done, the tall blonde taking a seat next to him. The younger looks another direction and takes his phone out to distract himself, pretending to make sure that Hyungwon knew he would be ignored. Changkyun wasn’t sure on how to make Hyungwon pay for his actions, not really overthinking about it since debut was his new primary focus. Contemplating more on the thought, he possibly believes that Hyungwon would also have to do chores like what Wonho did or something like the sorts. He feels the older lean over to look at the game he’s always playing, a little anxious to sense the eyes of the other staring at what he was doing. So much so that the younger begins to mess up, his mind not working correctly to solve the problems that are right in front of him. 

“What game is that?” 

Changkyun slightly jumps at the voice of the other, turning a quick glance at the taller. “It’s just a popular game that I’ve been playing for a while.”

“Interesting. I always thought you would play more like action type games instead of puzzle ones.”

“Hm, I play those from time to time.” 

“By the way, Changkyun, I-”

Before Hyungwon could finish his sentence, Wonho comes between the pair and patting the younger on the shoulder. “Your turn to go Changkyun.”

“Thanks, hyung.” By the unintentional help from the older, Changkyun gets up from the chair he is in and makes his way to the photoshoot. He didn’t think that the conversation with Hyungwon would last very long, mainly if they never really talked with one another. He hopes that he can avoid the taller for just a bit longer. After the photoshoot, Changkyun looks around to see Jooheon and Shownu still standing around on their phones near the corner of the room, relieved at how he wasn’t left behind like the first time. When Changkyun approaches the pair, they greet him with congrats and Jooheon excitedly yells how they can eat, the maknae joining in and then followed by Shownu. All three walk out of the building, heading to the dorm where all the members are after they had finished up. Making their way down the street Changkyun looks up to spot one of the boys he hasn't seen in a while, both double taking and an evil smirk appears on his lips that is only noticed by the brunette. He blinks a few times and then looks down towards the sidewalk, passing by the one mysterious boy who kicks his leg from behind, making Changkyun yelp in pain. His two hyungs snap their head towards the maknae in the middle both being able to catch them before he had fallen to the floor. Changkyun still doesn't understand why he is again being targeted, even though he knew they would keep on going. Hoping that they would stop after most of his hyungs started to look after him but, that didn't seem like the case when the group confronted him and Wonho when they were talking. 

Changkyun says that he's okay but, it doesn't show when he almost collapses again, only to be caught by the pair who look on worriedly, giving him support to walk. His knee hurt terribly, making it harder for him to walk and continue forward. Changkyun knows that if he were alone, he would still be beaten even if it wasn't the whole group as anyone one of them took pleasure from his anguish. The trio continues to make their way slowly back to the dorm, caring for the youngest the best they can until they reach the building. And once they do, they set Changkyun on the couch where Wonho sits as he watches the television, the maknae groaning at the lingering pain. Over the sounds of Kihyun cooking in the kitchen, the noises that emit from him weren't heard, and he stretches out his legs, placing his head on the older's lap.

"What happened?" The black haired looks up at Shownu. 

"He hurt his leg when walking. Probably it was a cramp or some kind of like a growing pain, but he might be too old for that."

"Aw, poor Changkyun." Wonho plays with his hair as Changkyun thinks off into space, wondering what else the boys have in their minds to sabotage him even more. "Do you want to get changed, so you feel more comfortable?"

Changkyun nods his head as he realizes that the older was talking to him, getting up slowly. Jooheon, Shownu, and Wonho freak out a little, the younger reassuring the others that he's alright, commenting he should walk it out as well. Hesitantly, the older three comply as Changkyun makes his way to the room his handle on the door as his eyes still look down the hallway to where the others were. In his distracted state, the door to their room opens, causing the younger to fall forward and whip his head to the front; landing in the arms of whoever started to make their way out.


	16. Accidents, Laughter and Interruptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurray! I have graduated and now I will take a step in the scary world! Here is the next chapter and I'm still very unsure how this story is going to end but I have an idea in mind! You guys have started to guess the three ships that are Changki, Wonkyun, and Changhyuk! Although, Minhyuk and Changkyun will be more prominent later haha. This one is lighter as the next chapter could have things go down. Enjoy!
> 
> P.S As for the beginning, I had no choice and it is by accident. They still aren't close to one another but I hope you still enjoy reading. >~<

Changkyun had his hand on the doorknob, soon being pulled open from the inside and taking the younger with the door. Upon opening, the brunette lands into the arms of someone he isn’t sure of yet, causing whoever was in front of him to gasp and both stumble back and fall. Thinking if his worst nightmare has come to life, (or preferably one of them that would have to happen in the dorm) the soft fall protected by the person under him, his lips accidentally coming in contact in a quick motion. The feeling soft and warm, not noticing what just happened as his brain was trying to keep up with himself after the fall. After a five second realization, the pair pushes one another off as their eyes stare as if it was one or the others fault. Changkyun covered his mouth as he had to consume, and take in the fact that the person he had to come in contact to was the one and only Minhyuk. The blonde bit his lip as he looked off to the side without any words exchanged; no yelling, anger, or any type of dispute. 

“Uhm, I didn’t-”

“It’s- forget about it. Just don’t tell any of the members.” Minhyuk got up and left the room in a hurry, closing the door behind him, and Changkyun shook his head. If he didn’t head to the bedroom, this wouldn’t have happened, and if he didn’t linger around the door, the situation could have been avoidable. The younger got to his feet, changing quickly into his pajamas and walking back out to the living room, making eye contact with Minhyuk who is now sitting on the couch, both turning away; not wanting to confront the situation any further. Wonho held out his arms towards the maknae and Jooheon pushes the hyung away, doing the same action but putting on his face of aegyo. Changkyun isn't sure who to go to, immediately turning a different direction and towards Shownu. The older pair pout, folding their arms like children who got their toys taken away, Hyungwon still not seen yet; possibly sleeping in the room if he was in the dorms. 

Shownu chuckles when Changkyun sits next to him, patting his head and receiving playful glares from Wonho and Jooheon. A loud noise exploded from the kitchen, followed by a curse and like the excellent maknae, Changkyun goes to see what had happened. With everyone lazing around, they let the youngest to check out what happened (even Shownu felt like he didn’t want to get up from the position he was in). Upon walking into the kitchen, Changkyun watches as Kihyun angrily throws down a towel to the floor. He doesn’t want to laugh at the sight of the short vocalist getting mad, the scene a little humorous. The brunette isn’t sure what happened, but that is until he sees what’s behind the other; a pan which had fallen onto the floor a spilled all the food, painting the floor with sauce and vegetables and meat. Kihyun runs a hand through his hair, looking at the mess around him before noticing that Changkyun was standing and looking in his direction. 

“You need help hyung?” Changkyun laughed a little as he watched Kihyun nod frantically, running to get a towel or a couple of them. When he makes it back to where Kihyun is, the vocalist is crouched on the floor picking up the fallen food, mumbling to himself. Changkyun hands his bandmate two towels, receiving thanks in return. 

"I guess we'll order out then. I spent quite a while making this, and I just had to accidentally leave the handle out to knock it down."

Changkyun laughs, making the shorter male break out in a smile as well, the towel damping up quickly from the liquid on the floor. Kihyun asks for the younger to call for some takeout, a or him to tell the other of the incident which disappoints most of them. And after ordering and all happily sitting at the table to eat, Changkyun can't help that between Wonho and Kihyun who playfully fight over him, he can't shake off the stares of Hyungwon and Minhyuk.  
_

Changkyun sits down against the wall, breathing heavily as he was able to give it his all in the dance room, fluidly making through the whole song without a hitch. No tripping, yelling at one another, or even bumping into Minhyuk; a feeling that made him content with himself. 

'But Minhyuk and Hyungwon still hate you...' The voice he thought would never come back makes its way back into his head. Just when he started feeling good about his condition and the bruises are almost gone, he believed everything around him was starting to look up. 'Do you really think everything is going to be alright? Don't be so naive.'

"Changkyun? Everything alright?" Wonho calls out and places a hand out on the youngers shoulder who then jolts up. "You seemed like you were spacing out. We're starting up again."

"Ah, sorry hyung. I'll go to my spot now." 

"Aw, you're so cute when you looked like that though!" Wonho wraps his arm around Changkyun, rubbing his cheek against the others. The grip was choking and suffocating him, something that wouldn't help if he was about to dance again. 

Kihyun steps over, almost having to pry Wonho off of the younger (which is nearly impossible despite the size and how much muscle was on the both of them). "Geez, you're going to turn him purple with that grip."

Wonho turns his head and sticks out his tongue. "Shut up shorty." 

Kihyun pouts, poorly pushing the muscle man. "Whatever, let's start practicing again."

After another few times of running through the song over again, Shownu calls for another break which is music to everyone's ears. Hyungwon hands Changkyun a water bottle, the younger looking up at the taller who takes it awkwardly with a small smile. The blonde nods and turns back to wherever he was going to, and Kihyun sits next to him to pat him on the shoulder as Shownu sat on the other side with a broad smile. 

"Good job today Changkyun, you did very well today." Changkyun smiles, feeling a little bit better about himself. Kihyun staring at him with affection as he rubbed his ear that felt as if it was grower hotter by the second. "I think we'll really kill it on stage. How do you feel?"

"A little nervous I guess. I'm still scared about how everyone would view me."

"Aw, Changkyun, I think people would have gotten over the whole No Mercy event. It's long gone now, and we can focus on new and better things."

"Yup!" Jooheon smiles, stretching his limbs. "We just have one more song that needs to be recorded too. We can then start to think and work on our next album!" 

A groan could be heard from the other side of the room, signaling Minhyuk who was pouting. "Let's have a break. We've been working to the bone that I'm surprised I'm still able to stand."

"Agreed. Any more and I'll turn to dust." Hyungwon pitches in, never looking up from his phone. Shownu nods his head, knowing how hard everyone has been putting in all their effort, especially from Changkyun. The maknae silently agrees with Minhyuk (probably a first), and even with his healing body that is regaining almost all its energy back to a healthier being, he still feels not all a hundred percent yet. Shownu gets up to talk to Jooheon about something he couldn't hear, Wonho sliding his way to cuddle with the younger who gets yanked from Kihyun's grip that tightens (something that Changkyun wished didn't happen considering Kihyun had his hand on the younger's ear). Changkyun whines and Kihyun let's go when he notices what he has done which leaves the black-hair to be victorious in winning over the maknae but, the short vocalist doesn't back down easily; his stubborn attitude useful in the end. Changkyun isn't sure how it had happened (possibly during the time Wonho started to take a liking to him, making Kihyun the Mom more protective than usual over the maknae which often resulted in a tug-of-war between the two vocalists), but the constant attention he received was beginning to get on his nerves; surprised especially how he wanted their attention for ignoring him, and now here he is.

By luckily getting out of the tight grip, the younger walks out of the dance room to use the restroom, also retreating from Wonho and Kihyun at the moment. He made his way cautiously down the hall and turned the corner while keeping a sharp eye out for the boys that would torment him; knowing that someone should be next to him, he wanted to get away from the two vocalists (knowing how either one of them would accompany him). Just nearing towards the restroom, he hears rapid footsteps come from behind him, grabbing his wrist. A gasp soon leaves his lips and the maknae whips his head around, coming in contact with the tall blonde, easing his heart a little. Truth be told, Changkyun would much rather bump into Hyungwon or accidentally kiss Minhyuk instead of running into the bullies. Changkyun placed a hand to his heart, slowly exhaling as the person who grabbed him wasn't who he thought it was; thankfully. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten like that." Hyungwon pulled away, and Changkyun bit his tongue before replying. The words that almost slid out of his mouth were going to spill everything, not wanting to make Hyungwon worry but, judging how he jogged to catch the younger, Changkyun could feel a different type of apology coming out. "But, the reason why I came out to chase you was that-"

Before the taller could finish, another voice broke their conversation, making the pair turn to whoever called out which turned out to be Shownu. 

"There you guys are. Come on, we have to get ready to leave for recording. And Changkyun, Jooheon needs you right now."

Hyungwon lets out a sigh as he stubbornly walks back to where the leader stands, Changkyun soon following behind him in the end as he figures he could hold it on using the restroom. Once again into the dance room, everyone cleans up, and Minhyuk bumps into the younger, both jolting at the contact that they never happen between them. The smaller blonde is more silent and less confrontational than what Changkyun sees him as, which he believes is a little better. He just wished that Minhyuk was always like that and not because of the incident inside the dorm room. The younger packed up his things, swinging his bag over his shoulder and making his way to Jooheon who was finishing up. 

Jooheon smiled at the presence, explaining how they should make the lyrics for the final song while the others would go and do whatever else they needed. Changkyun happily agrees, nodding his head as he waits for his hyung, an arm draping over him from behind. By the feeling of whoever was behind him, and the voice coming out was revealed to be Shownu, discussing things that need to do to have a successful debut; the leader also mentioning how they hadn’t filmed the music video yet. Which was true, especially if the date was nearing and how the teaser wasn’t released yet. The only problem was that to make things work, Minhyuk and Changkyun would need to get along better, and Hyungwon was starting to (attempt instead) open up a little. 

Although nothing was mentioned yet to the public, the debut date had to be pushed to a further time, to May fourteenth, no later than that and leaving them with two full months of things to get done. The photos for the album were finished and were planning to go on pre-order close to the date when the teaser would be released as well. Everything seemed to be too real, and Changkyun was feeling the ball of nerves spinning and swimming in his stomach the more he thought about it.  
_

Changkyun was wandering around the dorm in the late-afternoon, running into (once again) the tall blonde who started to wake up. Kihyun had gotten everyone up, and the younger was on his way to help the vocalist with breakfast, stopping in his tracks. Before Hyungwon could speak, Shownu called his name, and the blonde let out an annoyed groan, turning around and stomping to his room where the leader was. The younger noticed how the blonde was always being interrupted, finding the sight a little amusing. Maybe that would be Hyungwon's little punishment, seeing how many times the older approached him. Changkyun continued making his way to the kitchen, being pulled away by Jooheon who grabs him by the waist and to the couch. 

"Kyun! Let's finish up on the lyrics!" 

"No!" Kihyun calls out from the kitchen, walking out waving a spatula and wearing an apron as well as a glare. "Changkyun said he was going to help me, so he's coming with me."

"I disagree! Changkyun is a 24/7 cuddler so he should be with me." Wonho raises his hand, a pout playing on his lips. 

Changkyun looks around confused, staring at the trio and Jooheon backs away by looking at the strong glares of Wonho and Kihyun. The second younger member bites his lip and whispers to the maknae, wishing him luck and then quietly going to the couch to turn the channel. The two vocalists stare at one another, burning holes through one another and Changkyun stands, unable to figure out what to do. He scratches the back of his head and decides that in the end, join the other rapper on the couch, only to be grabbed by Wonho's strong arms; what was with everyone grabbing him lately? 

"You always steal Changkyun! At least let me make up for lost time with him. Now that I apologized, I should give him all the love he needs." Wonho folds his arms, staring the shorter down. 

"Well, you shouldn't have been so stubborn. And you get Changkyun all the time hypocrite."

"But Changkyun loves me more~. Ain't that right Kyun?" Changkyun isn't sure what to say, and Kihyun rolls his eyes as he goes back into the kitchen. The black-haired smiles in triumph, his chin up high and lets out a loud laugh. "See Changkyun. The shortie doesn't like confrontation. He always whats to think he has no faults. That's why Kihyun-."

Before Wonho could finish, and Changkyun could blink, something hits the older over the head, a flash of brown behind the vocalist's head and laughter emitting from Jooheon. Muscle man lets go of the maknae, who gets a good look at what is going and starts to laugh as well. The sight of Kihyun hitting Wonho with a wooden spoon around the dorm, both the younger pair bursting out loud. Shouting comes from the mouth of the oldest in the room, running around with a smile with his lips and plans to tease the shorter for more enjoyment. Changkyun didn't know when was the last time he was able to laugh so hard, his sides hurting and tears coming out of his eyes. 

Shownu comes out, confused by the commotion and is soon hit by the deadly spoon on the shoulder; Wonho and Kihyun still running around the dorm. Before the oldest could complain at the rowdy duo, he sees the sight of Changkyun and Jooheon bent over and holding their stomachs. He decides to leave the situation alone, shaking his head as the crazy duo run past him again. 

"Come on shorty! Move those small tiny legs faster!" 

Kihyun swings the wooden spoon, still unable to reach the black-haired male who stuck his tongue out, soon tripping over his own feet. As Wonho falls to the floor, the shorter gets on top of the other and playfully hits him with the object, laughing himself. Changkyun walks over after he starts to hiccup, stopping Kihyun's arm from hitting the other and the four members that laugh in the room soon calm down, breathing heavily especially from Wonho who ran the most. The brunette lays his head on Changkyun's shoulder, playfully hitting the younger over the head with the wooden spoon of death also. He whines how tired he is and doesn't want to cook anymore, a laugh still on his lips.  
_

"Shownu, I'm trying to apologize to Changkyun, and you keep interrupting me." 

Changkyun comes out from the restroom, drying his hair with a towel as he passes the other dorm room and stops by the sound of Hyungwon talking. The mention of the younger's name stops him in his tracks as well, listening carefully to the third youngest and oldest. Being a little nosy, Changkyun leans closer to the door, hoping nobody comes down the hallway. 

"Oh, sorry Hyungwon. I wasn't aware that I kept interrupting, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I thought it was only going to be two times and figured third times the charm." The younger can hear someone sigh, assuming that it's the taller. "If you see me with Changkyun anytime today, please just turn the other way." 

Changkyun moves away from the door, walking into his own room to run into Minhyuk who listens to music while he's on his phone, not aware of the younger's presence yet. Making sure not to disrupt the older, he makes his way to where his clothes are and grabbing his favorite sweater that now fit him just right. Just before changing his bottoms, the maknae is surprised when Minhyuk calls out to him, turning around with wide eyes as he wonders what the other wants. The blonde never spoke to him like an average person, and Changkyun felt as if he was starting to sweat and his body shakes a little. 

"You're bleeding."

The last words that come out of Minhyuk's mouth sound very slow, lips moving in such a way as well and his hand moves to point towards the younger's body. Changkyun looks down to see the red liquid running down his leg and he covers the scene with the towel, a nervous smile followed after. He voices out a thank you, grabbing his sweatpants (on second thought) and soon leaving the room without saying another word. Although it's odd of Minhyuk, he plans to tell Kihyun about he saw when the shorter decides to come into the room.


	17. Helping Hand, New Roads and Hyungwon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is my birthday! And even it's my birthday, my gift for you guys is a double update! I hope you enjoy these two chapters! I'm still not sure how many chapters this will be haha. Next chapter is coming up soon! I just need to edit it!

Changkyun practically runs back into the restroom and closes the door behind him, staring down at his leg which still was bleeding. He mentally cursed and threw the towel to the floor, lifting up his shorts to see that the cuts he had made in his inner thigh (sadly he still feels the need to) had not healed when he cut himself in the shower; not an accidental thing. The younger just knew it was a terrible decision to not wear long pants after getting out, but even so, he wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn't for Minhyuk pointing it out. Changkyun grabs some medicine and sits on the toilet seat, starting to tend his wound and cleaning up some of the blood until there’s a knock at the door. He halts, staring at the door that still doesn’t have a lock and his blood runs cold at whoever could be standing on the other side. A long and hard gulp makes its way down his throat, sweating once again as there’s another set of knocks. The younger calls out to let the other know that he is in here, hoping that the member would go away, but it doesn’t sound that way by the owner of the voice.

“Changkyun? It’s Kihyun. Minhyuk said he saw you bleeding from your leg. May I come in?” 

The maknae curses, knowing that if the vocalist ended up looking at the scar, he would totally flip out (didn't think Minhyuk would actually say anything). In the end, Changkyun feels like he is in too tight and a too much of a sticky situation to get himself out of; letting the other inside. He would try to stall as much time to his advantage until the other flips out, having another 24/7 watch over the youngest. The shorter makes his way inside with a look of worry as if he was going to start a cry again which didn’t sit well with Changkyun. Kihyun slowly made his way to the other, kneeling down and approaching everything with caution. The younger knew he was totally screwed and here he was, stuck like a fly on a piece of sticky tape. The brunette made a silent motion to see the wound, his hands up and in the direction of his shorts. 

“If-if I let you help me; you won’t get mad at me right hyung?” Changkyun felt as if he was about to cry, unknown of how the older would react. Looking back at when Kihyun found out about the bruises, this incident won’t be all sunshine and rainbows. 

“Why would I get mad at you? You’re scaring me now.” Seeing Changkyun on the brink of tears makes Kihyun do the same, hands starting to shake as he looks into the other’s eyes. “You’re making it seem like it wasn’t an accident.”

The maknae doesn’t say anything to Kihyun’s last comment which doesn't help calm the older, and the same line falls through Changkyun’s lips once again. The vocalist reaches out, only to be stopped by the other’s hand. “Promise?”

Kihyun slowly nods, and Changkyun closes his eyes, the older’s hands gripping at the hem of his shorts and lifting up where the blood begins to drip again. Just a quick sight makes the brunette look away at the red liquid, shutting his eyes which saw a small cut.

“Please Changkyun, please tell me these are just an accidental slip of hand from shaving.” Kihyun didn’t want to believe it but, the poor boy sitting in front of him still felt like he wasn’t good enough, and that hurt the vocalist to the core. Peeking over to lift up the fabric once again, the older sees the row of cuts that paint his inner thigh, a gasp leaving Kihyun’s lips and covering his mouth, and the younger then starts to cry. Kihyun looks up at Changkyun in disbelief, no words coming out of his mouth. The younger waits for a yell, or questions to spew out or anything but, nothing is shared within the silent bathroom. Changkyun looks back at his hyung when he sums up the courage, Kihyun’s eyes asking why he would do such a thing to himself.

“I just feel like I'm still worthless. I know you guys look after me and care for me, I appreciate that but, I can’t shake off that feeling of still not being able to fit in.”

“Changkyun…” Kihyun reaches out to caress the side of the other’s face, knowing how hurt he must be to still think such a thing. “We wouldn’t want you to think that way. You mean so much to us; to me.”

The last part hits Changkyun in the heart, the precise specification making Changkyun's heartbeat go faster. 

“But nothing seems to take the pain away of feeling so lonely still.”

Kihyun exhales, rolling up Changkyun’s pant leg to see all the other scars that were on his inner thighs. The older grabs the medicine from the younger’s hand, pouring the cold fluid into a cotton pad nearby. 

“This will sting a little.” Changkyun nods, feeling the slight burn of the peroxide hitting his cuts that were done just recently. The pain was more bearable than all the other times he had to suffer through, something he was weirdly thankful for. The younger didn’t want the older knowing about him cutting himself but, with how Kihyun was holding himself up this time around, Changkyun wasn’t regretting it. “May I ask how long this has been going on for?”

“I’ve done it since before debut and stopped but, I started again after that fight Wonho and I had when you guys went to fetch dinner. I’m sorry hyung.”

“Don’t apologize Kyun. For something like this I don't ever want you to apologize.” The older used Changkyun’s nickname to show that he wasn’t anywhere near angry. Kihyun doesn’t say anything else, understanding and gently taking care of the other’s wounds as they both sit in silence.  
_

“Well, looks like we will finish this faster than I expected.” Changkyun stretches, almost finished with the song that they decided to call Steal Your Heart. He looks through lyrics again only needing the last part of the chorus left. “I’m trying to see what could after this part.”

“Which part?” Jooheon looks at the notebook that’s in the middle of them. The oldest rapper writing his own ideas in his book while Changkyun does the same, only using the middle book for the finished product. 

“This part. Wait, we only have two choruses for this song?” 

“Oh crap, I forgot about the last chorus, we can add that. Maybe we can add a little more rap between the vocals in this part here.” Jooheon points to the part he’s talking about. “I feel like, after this second chorus, Shownu should sing this vocal part we have written here.

“Yeah, I see the words fit with his voice here when I imagine it in my head.” Changkyun agrees, making Jooheon smile and continues with his thought.

“Yes, exactly. And we can add a small rap part and then there’s this line here we have as: Trophies overflow from my coat pockets. We can then have another rap after that line.”

Changkyun jumps in again, finishing the older’s thought process as he gets the idea. “And the last chorus would go, with the second part of it to finish the song.”

Jooheon points at the younger, excited as his dimples show. “Yes! That’s exactly what I’m thinking. So we both agree then.”

Changkyun nods to what the other is saying, liking the idea himself and gets the notebook he’s been writing inside. “Yeah, I agree with you there. I’ve written this down as an idea for the other part of the chorus.”

Jooheon takes the book and reads the lines in silence as the other sits waiting for a response to continue further. “This is good! I like this for the second part of the chorus but, let's change this part if that’s alright?” Changkyun nods, leaning in to see what it is that needs to be fixed. “For this, how about instead of saying these lines, we shorten them and add like numbers. Get what I mean?” 

“Like a list?”

“Hmm, I guess?” They both laugh and turn their attention back to the notebook. “Like instead of this being ‘let’s be prepared everybody,’ we can change it to ‘one, be prepared everybody.’” Changkyun nods his head as realizes, letting Jooheon continue. “Then this, change it to ‘two, there’s no mercy.’”

“Oh! Then this one can be ‘three if I want, I’ll have it all, be nervous oh’?” 

Jooheon breaks in a burst of laughter, nodding his head. “Almost just without questioning the line.”

Changkyun himself smiles, pointing back at what they’ve written so far, another idea popping in his head. Writing lyrics with the hyung became more natural, and Changkyun honestly started to enjoy it more, not afraid to share his thoughts like before. Things did slowly work out in the end, getting along with almost all the members even if it wasn’t as fast as he wanted it to be. “I have an idea. Can we do this twice and end it with a harmony? Other than Kihyun, maybe like Wonho, for example, can finish it perhaps? Like, not the whole line in harmony but the ‘be nervous oh’ part. ” 

“Sure, we can try that out. I’ll write it twice then. All we need is our last and second raps, and that’s it.”

“Yup! It’s almost hard to believe we’ll finish this today actually.” Changkyun stretches his body and leans his head on Jooheon’s shoulder. “Thanks for helping me out hyung. I’m glad we’re working together in the end.” 

The other smiles, patting Changkyun’s head.  
_

"This feels so tight on my body." Shownu pouts for the first time Changkyun's ever seen, looking down at their clothes as everyone is getting reading for the first part of the music video shooting. After hearing all the different costumes, they'd be in and all the scenes to be acted out that they had to do, and the younger believed it wasn't going to go as smoothly as he wanted. With the costumes that they had now that popped with color, to a slightly baggy black and white outfit and then to prison jumpsuits, even a black and red outfit for a few scenes to be put in; not to mention casual closing for a supposed closing scene. That told Changkyun how many times they needed to dance for one music video, not to forget the mistakes too. 

"You look like you got covered in like bay oil. You're glowing hyung." Changkyun replied as he saw their leader in black leather pants and a blue leather shirt, decorated with a police holster. But the more Changkyun looked around, everyone had some sort of leather on them. But Shownu was shining under the lights it was almost blinding; Jooheon as well with his eye blinding pants. 

"I feel like I'm wearing too much gray." Kihyun pointed out to his outfit, staring down at it as if it wasn't for him even though it fit well on him. "They want me to wear gloves when we dance but to take it off when it comes to the close-ups."

Hyungwon spoke up, his voice almost uninterested as he sits down, waiting for something to happen that needed him to stand. "I feel out of place a little, especially since I'm the only one wearing shorts."

Changkyun mentally agreed, a dress shirt with a tie and blazer; an extra piece of cloth dangling near his shorts and also having knee high socks. The younger also believed his own outfit wasn't very fitting yet, it was; more in the middle in his opinion. Minhyuk and Wonho seemed to have the better-looking costumes, even though Jooheon and Shownu looked well, they were just too glossy and blinding the maknae too much. But altogether, Changkyun actually liked the style and the theme, so he wasn't complaining per say. 

"Everything looks so cool. This place looks like a maze with all the prison cells and the stairs and ladders. A fence with barbed wire too!" Wonho looked like a kid as he pointed to almost every small thing he saw around him. "Look here! There are even some things on fire and those spotlights for like the people who break out and follow them!"

"Are we sure Wonho is second oldest in the group?" Jooheon turns to ask the others who shrug in response.

After two takes of dancing with the leather outfits, all the members take a break and sit down, gulping down bottle after bottle of water. Changkyun was surprised to have danced without any mistakes or bumping into Minhyuk specifically since he's almost always behind the older, everything was running good so far. After one more take, they would need to shoot the dance another three more times, changing into the black and white outfits. 

"Shownu, we need you for this one part of the dance. You're going to do a solo for your slow part." A staff member comes with a clipboard, and their leader sits up go film the small solo part. "And actually, we can have Kihyun come too, you'll film a close-up as the music plays for Shownu. Then we'll have everyone else after that one by one."

After about an hour, Changkyun sits down after having to do his part, going to change into their main clothing of the black and white; tired but, hoping to get most things done. The younger looks at the clock that hangs on the wall, reading the time of only being three in the afternoon, meaning there would be a lot more things that need to be filmed. He sighs, putting on his shirt as he finishes up with changing and then makes it out back to the shooting area before Minhyuk (who he is now unsure about the older's attitude towards him) yells at him to hurry up. Before Changkyun could take ten steps where everyone else was at, a hand grabs his wrist and makes him turn away in shock. 

"Ah, sorry." The person was Hyungwon, a sheepish smile on his face as he puts his hands up. "I didn't mean to scare you. Next time I'll call out for you but, I know I keep coming towards you and I'm not able to finish what I'm saying cause Shownu kept interrupting." 

"Uhm, sure, I'm all ears right now then."

"Great, I just-" Hyungwon pauses, scratching his head as he settles his thoughts together. "I'm just pulling aside because I really want to-"

"Hyungwon and Changkyun! There you guys are! We gotta start the dance up again!" Wonho shouts as he waves his hands. 

Hyungwon's expression changes quick, and it honestly scares Changkyun, especially since the taller then starts to charge at Wonho, throwing his hat at the black-haired like a frisbee. Changkyun watches as the blonde then jumps on the older's back after his cap hits Wonho straight in the head as if it came out of a cartoon. The younger can’t help but laugh at the scene, making his way to the where the others are at to start recording. 

After the time turns to ten at night, the long and exhausting day comes to an end as the seven members get into the van as they head back to the dorms. They got a lot done in one day; however, there were still many things that had to be finished of course. Changkyun leans his head the cool car window, lowering his hot body temperature from all the dancing and running around as they filmed a mini-breakout scene and another close-up scene. He exhales softly, closing his eyes as the soft music from the car radio was beginning to put everyone to sleep. The younger feels a tap on his shoulder, opening his eyes to see Wonho patting his shoulder with a small smile on his lips. 

"Do you want something more comfortable than the window?" The black-haired whispers, not wanting to disturb the others around them. Changkyun sleepily nods his head, shifting his body to adjust against the older male, an arm snaking around his waist to bring the younger closer. Changkyun sighs against Wonho, now enjoying the warmth that comes off of him, also putting him to sleep even more. It's also times like this is when Changkyun is glad that now whoever sits next to him, isn't ignoring him or throwing dirty looks, but instead, offering their hand towards him. The rapper knew that if it weren't for Shownu to make an effort to help him from the very beginning, he wouldn't have gotten as far as he is now without the small pushes to help get him closer to the others, and Changkyun was very thankful for their leader.  
_

Hyungwon sits on the couch of the living room eating a bowl of ramen when Changkyun walks inside, and it's midnight, an hour where nobody in the dorm should be up from all the work they've down earlier. The younger goes to grab a glass of cold water, the weather at night getting hotter for him to bear; even the members he was sleeping with were starting to wear fewer clothes to bed. He calls out to the tall blonde, making him turn in the direction as he slurps on the noddles in his bowl (probably Wonho's endless batch). 

"What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep surprisingly."

"Ah, its hot so I can't blame you." Changkyun opens the fridge, the light from inside illuminating the kitchen and almost burning his eyes. From the couch, Hyungwon asks the younger same question. "Just getting some water. After what went on today, I feel like my body needs more water."

He hears Hyungwon chuckle, placing the bowl on the table and leaning back against the cushion as he pats the empty space next to him. "Sit down with me for a while." 

A little hesitant, Changkyun slowly makes his way next to the taller one and the pair sit in silence and in the dark with no other sounds except the faint driving of cars. The younger looks down at his hands and plays with the hem of his thin tee, taking a side glance at the other beside him. An awkward feeling fills the air, and it's almost suffocating him from being able to speak anything, mind making him feel dizzy and almost light-headed. 

"Sorry..."

The voice of the other cuts the silence in the tense air, making Changkyun whip his head to Hyungwon. The older chuckles, shaking his head as he turns to look at the younger.

"To think it was that easy from the start. Just one word and here I was freaking out because the other members kept interrupting me and it just made me more scared. I feel so worthless right now with myself. I'm truly sorry for all the trouble and shit you had to put up with me. After seeing Wonho and Minhyuk fighting that one time, I just couldn't help but feel sad because it had gotten to that point. I didn't want the members going at one another's throats all because of some stupid survival show angst and built up inner anger."

"Thank you for apologizing. Since you had to keep coming up to me, I'll forgive you about fifty or sixty percent." Changkyun wore a smug face, and Hyung looked at him in a bit of shock, his face shifting to a smile and shaking his head. 

"Okay kid, what's up in your sleeve." 

Changkyun puts a finger up to his chin in thought, not really coming up with anything. Since Hyungwon desire sleep and his bed so much, maybe the younger would have to be in his space for the next week. Not a punishment but perhaps he could disturb the older a few times in the night for some orders like a glass of water or a midnight snack. 

"How about you let me sleep with you for a week, and if I need anything in the night, you'll have to get it."

Hyungwon sighs, shaking hands with Changkyun. "Okay, but I'm not going to help you to the restroom."

The pair laugh and Changkyun feels a weight of his shoulders, leaving only one member to confront.


	18. Crazy Mornings, Acceptance and Minhyuk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update for my birthday! Hope you enjoy the two chapters!
> 
> P.S. If you haven't noticed, I named the chapters with three words to kind of summarize like important things in the chapters. ^^

Changkyun mumbles something in his sleep, shifting in the bunk as he wraps an arm and leg around the closest thing by him, except, he couldn't move at all in fact. He whines, unable to use his limbs and believes he's gone mad, or somehow he's still dreaming but, it all feels too real. What comes next that made him start to stir in the first place was a soft hit on the head, and Changkyun begins to blink open his eyes, smacking his lips as his mouth felt dry. He needed more water once again. Whatever is holding him down, it starts to move, and the younger makes an effort to turn his head slightly, seeing a tuff of black hair; then it clicks. The only member he remembers that has that color is Wonho, unsure how he got into this position with him. Changkyun turns to see that on the other side (in front of him) was Hyungwon sleeping soundly, and then it questions the younger who is hitting him on the head. As he turns back around, past Wonho's head he sees the familiar wooden spoon of death as it comes for his head again. He hears a sigh, the ladder to the bunk squeaking by the weight now presumingly Kihyun who makes his way on the top as well. Changkyun knows he might die right now, he's just not sure if it's because it will be from Kihyun's weapon, Wonho's firm grip, or Hyungwon's bed that will break by the weight of everyone on it. 

"Hyung! I'm up! I just can't get out." The younger voices out when he sees the vocalist's arm move up, but instead, it hits Wonho in the head, waking him up instantly. The grip on Changkyun releases as air fills up his lungs so beautifully, and that crosses off one of the three possibilities of him dying today. 

"Ow, what the-." Another hit on the head. "Kihyun, you and that stupid toy."

"It's not a toy smartie. And let go of Changkyun, I need his help for preparing breakfast, and he can barely get up to use the restroom." 

"Let Jooheon do it. They're close in age."

Kihyun rolls his eyes as he grabs hold of the maknae, linking an arm with him. "Oh please, the poor boy doesn't even know the word help. I won't let him in the kitchen because he mixed up the gochujang with spaghetti sauce one time. I don't know how he wasn't able to tell the difference, but he messed up that dish for me." Wonho pouts, throwing his hands on Changkyun's other arm and gently pulls on him, wanting to cuddle more as Kihyun's words go through one ear and out the other. The older wants to continue and snuggle, but Changkyun knows he has to help his other hyung, and now he's stuck once again between the two vocalists. "Wonho, let go. I won't cook your portion of food."

"Hyungs lets not-"

Wonho sticks out his tongue playfully. "What are you going to do about it shortie?"

Kihyun then charges at Wonho again with the wooden spoon, placing that possibility of death back on the list Changkyun has in his head. The younger gets on top of the main vocal, trying his best to wrestle the weapon from him through his laughter as well as Wonho's. In the middle of their struggle and movement, the maknae falls to the side on top of Hyungwon who then flinches awake, crushed by the boy and the small space. It wasn't a bright idea to start to play fight on the top bunk that can fit three people if packed in like sardines in a can; as it was only meant for one. The black-hair holds onto Kihyun's wrist and pushes his arms out to prevent the vocalist from hitting him, the cute face of struggling on the short man, making Wonho laugh. 

"What the hell is going on here?" Hyungwon speaks, trying his best to wriggle his way out of the situation he didn't plan on being in. "Why are all these people in my bunk? I thought I only let Changkyun here?"

"Question later Hyungwon, just help me try to stop this mess." Changkyun chuckles, arms still around Kihyun and trying his best to pull him away from Wonho. A plan begins to build up in the younger's mind, something that will possibly end the chaos that's happening too early in the morning for them. "Wonho hyung, tighten your grip on Kihyun's hands!"

"What?! Kyun! I trusted you!" 

Wonho obliges, not sure why but understands when Changkyun's hand go up to Kihyun's armpits and starts tickling him, the brunette's body bending as loud laughter bursts from within him, dropping the wooden spoon which sadly hits Hyungwon. Kihyun begins kicking his feet, and the black-haired also tickles Kihyun after removing his hands from the main vocal's wrists. Tears start to fall from the shorter, his laughter dying out and only silence comes from his mouth as the tickling feeling is too much for him; not even able to talk. The sight makes Changkyun laugh as Kihyun is still laughing himself; also there's no more sound coming out.

"Are we going to be productive and start to cook hyung?" Kihyun nods frantically, now the sound coming back as he gasps for a small amount air, moving his hands to try and stop the others from tickling him. 

"Th-ha-hats wh-what I've b-been tr-trying to do!" 

"Will you leave my Changkyun alone?" Kihyun shakes his head, even though a huge open mouth smile is on his face.

The shorter uses his leg to hit Wonho with his knees, causing the black-haired to fall on Hyungwon who was staring at the scene, the blonde choking on air by the sudden weight of the older. The vocalist takes a big gulp of air, wiping his eyes and dashes off the bunk in almost less than a second, and Wonho takes no time in following after Kihyun, not forgetting to grab the wooden spoon for scientific reasons Changkyun presumes. Shownu comes inside just in time to see the pair zoom out of the room, and he sighs, leaning against the door frame as he rubs his forehead as if a significant headache is appearing. 

"I didn't think that I would be living with a bunch of kids. Wonho is the second oldest, but he acts like he's the youngest." Shownu turns his direction to where the pair ran off to, hearing more laughter and something hit the floor.

"What the hell is going on?" Hyungwon chuckles, plopping himself on his bed. "I didn't expect to wake up to this mess." 

Changkyun didn't expect it either, his wishes of wanting to be with the other members and to joke are what he always wanted to do and here it was. The younger couldn't be any happier to finally make amends with all the members, except Minhyuk of course, the little shit, but, he's glad to see everyone smiling and laughing with him around.  
_

"Stupid Wonho," Kihyun mumbles with his arms folded in the back of the car. Changkyun is sitting near the window again, only his seatmate is none other than the main vocal, complaining as he wears a pout on his face. "I can't believe because of him and his childlike action we couldn't be able to finish breakfast. What a waste of food I'll say."

"But hyung, you were also-"

Kihyun places a finger against Changkyun's mouth, surprising the younger as his eyes go wide. "Shush, we shouldn't say stuff like that."

"Because you know it's true." Wonho pipes up, laughing as he goes back to whatever he was doing on his phone. Kihyun rolls his eyes and chuckles, the scene replaying his head. It was pretty funny to the shorter but, he wouldn't admit that out loud with his stubborn self. 

"You guys are way too loud for the morning," Minhyuk says, on the other side of Kihyun. Changkyun takes a glance at the blonde, unsure how to approach him since that's his next target. "It was unnecessary to scream that loud."

After the car ride, the members make their way inside to shoot for the music video again, having to take in account that they would be acting out more scenes and that a go pro would be used, also meaning that Changkyun and Minhyuk would have to get along in order for the day to go smoothly. Everyone makes their way to the dressing room, changing and making sure that they have every single piece of clothing with them. Only Changkyun and Kihyun are left inside the room, the other had finished up quickly and went to go get their make up done. The younger sits on the small couch, putting on his shoes and is about to reach for his hat as well to put on his lap when Kihyun comes to sit down next to him. The vocalist takes the cap in his hands to avoid sitting on it, handing it to the maknae who thanks him. 

"Hey, Kyun," The use of the nickname makes Changkyun feel a little nervous, knowing that Kihyun was possibly going to say something serious. "How are you feeling? Are you not hurting anymore? Regarding like, the bruises or the cuts."

"I'm feeling a lot better. Thank you hyung for looking out for me in the time of need." A small nervous smile comes across Changkyun's lips. 

The other smiles in return, patting the younger's back in affection. "Well, that's good. It really hurt that you do these things before at least coming to us. I mean, the bruises weren't your doing of course but, we wouldn't have wanted you to go through that alone. You mean so much to everyone, I want you to know that. To me especially." 

There was that line again, making Changkyun turn to his hyung again at the specification. The younger feels a little weird, and it wasn't a bad thing but, it was an odd emotion wanting to build up within him. Kihyun's eyes looked sad, and the younger isn't sure what he is thinking, but he knows that Kihyun's hand is still on his back to reassure him. "We care about you Kyun." Changkyun isn't sure what's going on but, all he also knows is they both stare at one another, taking note of how Kihyun leans in closer every second to feel his breath against his. The younger doesn't do anything except lick his lips because of how dry they got from all the tension, and before Kihyun takes that last second of entirely placing his lips on the other, lips brushing against each other ever so slightly; the door opens. The older scoots off and jumps with fright, and so does Changkyun who puts a hand against his chest as he watches the other fall off the small couch. The younger just almost kissed Kihyun, his brain freaking out and head turning to whoever was standing by the entrance. Minhyuk stands, one eyebrow up in question as he stares at the pair, seeing a little of what was going to happen.

"I'm not going to question what I just saw, nor do I want any clarification but, you guys should hurry up." The door closes, leaving the pair to catch their breath, the older chuckles jerking his head to the side and getting up from the floor. 

"Well, maybe we should start heading out."

All Changkyun could do at this point was nod his head, putting on his hat and following Kihyun out the door and turning off the lights in the room.  
_

The members take a break, laughing and the whole incident flies over Changkyun's head as they come out of the building and removing the go pro from them. All the running and lip singing (as well as actually singing with the song) has made them tired, the time not even hitting five in the afternoon yet. The members take a seat, gulping down some water as the air comes back into their lungs, feeling like they can live again. Changkyun cant help but see that Minhyuk stares at him, knowing whatever ever happened between Kihyun and him was too suspicious. As all the others are too focused on watching how the go pros came out and what is caught on them, Minhyuk makes his way to the younger, tapping him on the shoulder. Changkyun looks up at the blonde, who wears an unreadable expression on his face. 

"Changkyun, can I speak with you if that's alright." The said member blinks a few times and looks back at the other five members, too engrossed with the device in front of them. Changkyun nods his head, getting up to follow where Minhyuk is heading to, trying to not draw too much attention to himself and the blonde. At a corner of the room and out of sight from everyone, Minhyuk turns to the younger who halts in front of the hyung. "What's going on with you and Kihyun, and Wonho too why not."

"What do you mean?" Changkyun really isn't sure how to approach the situation he is in, never really having a conversation with Minhyuk before.

The older rolls his eyes, folding his arms. "Oh please, Changkyun, I hope you do see that Wonho and Kihyun are the two members who mostly fight for you. Even though its playfully, they still fight over you like your the last chicken nugget left of the plate."

"But, why should you care? I thought you don't really like me?" Minhyuk sighs, shifting his position. 

"I honestly don't know any more on what I feel. But I do know that I'm the last member that you still need an apology from." Minhyuk sees the other's eyes kind of widen, and they do so, even more, when the younger sees the blonde break out in a small chuckle. "Sorry. I know I've been the angriest towards you and the one who has probably ignored you the most. I know that my actions were a little over the top. I was acting like such a child, and I guess you can say a little spoiled because things didn't come out the way I wanted it to be. I know that back in No Mercy when I said that I never wished to be your friend, well, I'm regretting that now. Back then I didn't think you would be in the final lineup, to it be truthful with you, and now here we are about to debut. It made me realize even more when Wonho told me, and I guess reminded me that I was the last member picked. I was hurt by the comment but, he wasn't wrong. We haven't been working as a team but, I really hope that changes."

"I'm still not going to forgive you easily hyung." Changkyun pouts, folding his arms as he watches Minhyuk's expression change.

"What? That's all I get for my apology?" Minhyuk's frown turns to a small smile. "But, I understand. I'll take in the fact that you're calling me hyung."

Minhyuk takes Changkyun hat, causing him to whine as the older walks away with it and goes back to where the members are seated who are still unaware of what just happened. The younger smiles a little didn't even think that Hyungwon and Minhyuk would apologize on the same day (early morning for the taller blonde). Although Changkyun is now accepted by everyone in the group, there was still a strong feeling that something wasn't all as well as he thought for it to be.  
_

The next day comes around, the music video almost finished, and the album was finalized with all the songs recorded which made the boys celebrate like no tomorrow. The glasses around the table clink loudly, all seven members shouting in happiness at all the hard work and effort that they pulled off. With debut almost just around the corner, Changkyun could finally be able to hopefully relax for once. For the first time ever, Minhyuk and Hyungwon take the seats next to him, causing Wonho and Kihyun to pout across the table like kids who were told they couldn't have candy before dinner. Jooheon takes a big gulp of his soda, a loud sigh coming from him as a big smile looked it was going to rip his face. 

"Guys, we're going to finally debut! After seven years of training, it finally paid off!" Jooheon throws his hands in the air as he dramatically grabs the dinner cloth to dab away his nonexistent tears, the scene making everyone chuckle.

"Yeah! And my six years of training paid off!" Shownu shouts, throwing his arms around the rapper. "We did Jooheon! All the years we all trained for has finally come to an end!" 

Changkyun smiles, watching the scene unfold in front of him. Dinner that night ran through smoothly and almost made the younger feel as if he was dreaming; wanting to pinch himself. Minhyuk offering Changkyun some cucumbers that he doesn't want to eat, Wonho gives the maknae some share of noodles he doesn't want to share with anyone else, and Hyungwon always refills Changkyun's glass with water (remembering the younger's comment of nonstop drinking). Jooheon hands Changkyun some more beef and Kihyun keeps an out to make sure the maknae's plate is almost always filled up, and Shownu smiles at the scene around him, everyone offering Changkyun nearly everything on the table. The younger smiles, happy that everyone is gathered around him and treating him as a member of Monsta X, and not just some kid who joined in the middle of No Mercy anymore. A bunch of emotions runs through him as he watches the lively scene around, a soft smile playing at his lips. Although he doesn't fully forgive Hyungwon and Minhyuk as fast as they want, he's happy to receive their support and acknowledgment. 

After dinner, the fulfilled members make their way out of the restaurant and about to fill the van to go back to the dorm. Through the laughter of everyone, Changkyun is the last one out of the building smiling as he looks up to see the back of Shownu. A waterfall of emotions come over him as tears begin to fill the younger’s eyes, reaching out to wrap his arms around his leader. The oldest stops, taking a glance at the younger and his eyes quirk up a little. 

“Thank you hyung. I really couldn't be happier if it weren't for you.”

Shownu smiles, removing the grip off of himself to turn and face the maknae to wipe away the tears. Changkyun feels ecstatic, overjoyed with emotion and he feels like he'll break soon. 

“Aw Changkyun, I only gave you pushes and nudges. You were able to make it happen because you're strong. I'm glad that you're in the group, you're Monsta X’s one and only maknae, and we couldn't have asked for a better one.”

Changkyun smiles through his still falling tears, embracing his beloved leader tightly.


	19. Movies, Panic and We Love You's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Came back with a longer chapter. More than 4,000 words this time!
> 
> I've been saving this moment in the book for a while (happens later in this chapter and sorry but not sorry) and here it is! 
> 
> I decided that once this story is over, They'll be like mini individual stories of Changkyun and a member like an over the year to present, about 1,000 words each and then the final one will be a group one! I think they'll be three more chapters for this? 
> 
> Thank you for all the birthday wishes and thank you so much for reading this! I always love reading your thoughts or what you have to say!

Changkyun steps into the dorm, after their dinner at the restaurant as everyone is laughing about a joke that Wonho said. Jooheon and Hyungwon have their arms around the younger as they both fool around with one another, an idea of watching a movie comes into play. The trio smile as they plop themselves down on the couch, still full from the food that filled them up and was almost about to blow up. As the other members start to trickle in, Kihyun makes his way into the kitchen to make some popcorn and Jooheon takes control over the remote as he turns on the television, starting to scheme through whatever sounds interesting. Changkyun plays a game on his phone in the time being, still working through the levels.

"What are we even watching?" Wonho pipes up, sitting in front of Changkyun right by his feet. "We should all agree on something other than like picking something only one of us likes."

"I don't really mind." Hyungwon yawns, who is on Changkyun's right side, and Jooheon on the left of the younger. 

"Maybe we should watch something funny?" Minhyuk pitches in, who was sitting on the couch next to Hyungwon. 

"No way." Shownu chuckles, who was in front of Jooheon's feet. "If that happens we'll be laughing and then throwing up afterward."

Everyone nods in agreement, silently thinking on what to watch as the sounds of popcorn pop in the background. In the end, they decide to put a random movie on and let it play for about fifteen minutes to see how good it comes out to be. About thirty minutes later, all seven are intrigued by the plot, and although Jooheon is hiding into Changkyun's shoulder after finding out it was a scary movie, he still watches it. The maknae uses his feet to mess around with Wonho's head, lightly kicking him and pushing on his shoulders which makes the older laugh and hit him on the leg playfully. Minhyuk hogs one bowl of popcorn, having Jooheon keep whining for it and Shownu instead hands the oldest rapper his bowl. Kihyun keeps shushing everyone's laughter as he's the one most into the movie, stuffing handfuls of popcorn in his mouth as some miss his mouth he's so engrossed in the film. Hyungwon is then hitting Changkyun with the pillow for chewing so loud, making Kihyun lash out and get his cushion to hit Hyungwon, his aim also hitting the back of Wonho's head (on accident too surprisingly). Minhyuk gets a little irritated and throws some popcorn from his bowl, making Jooheon frantically grabbing some to eat while he's at it. Everything begins to get chaotic but is soon stopped by the loud sound the television makes. 

By near the end of the movie, the food that rests inside the member's stomach start making them feel sleepy once they've settled comfortably on the couch, eyes unable to keep open anymore. The first one to go is Hyungwon and Jooheon, leaning their heads against Changkyun as they sleep soundly; the blonde too tired and Jooheon closing his eyes so much he happened to stay like that. Next to pass out is Minhyuk who yawns one last time before closing his eyes, shifting in his spot as he curls into the corner of the armrest. Wonho soon joins the four, making the effort of getting up and making his way next to Jooheon, softly pushing the three younger ones closer to where Minhyuk is now in sleep mode. Shownu passes out in front of Jooheon's feet just before the movie was about to end, snoring lightly as he still stays on the floor. The only ones up are Kihyun and Changkyun, on the verge of sleep but wanted to know what happens in the movie. As the credits roll, Changkyun closes his eyes and sighs as he leans into Hyungwon and Jooheon who are now closer to him because of Wonho. The main vocalist gets up, leaving the living room to come back with blankets and drapes one over Shownu; another over Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Changkyun. Kihyun gets comfortable next to Wonho, putting a blanket over himself, the muscle pig and Jooheon. Changkyun can't help but smile, taking a look around him and seeing the members all around him asleep and in one place. He turns his attention to the entrance that leads to the hallway, almost feeling like yesterday when he was standing there, looking at the exact spot he's sitting at now. And now, here he is where he's always wished to be; with all the other members.  
_

Changkyun wakes up, unsure what the time is now but manages to get up and off the tangled arms of Hyungwon and Jooheon. The younger stretches his body, getting up as he makes his way into the bathroom to freshen up and do whatever he needs to do to start the day. He opens the door to the room, brushing his teeth and to splash some water on his face, waking up as the sensation of the cooling liquid runs through his body. The younger breathes a sigh of relief, and a sudden tap on his shoulder makes him jump, turning around to see who was the one that came inside. Minhyuk stood back a little shocked, letting out a chuckle as he patted the rapper on the shoulder. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that. I was just wondering if you were going to keep staying in here because I was going to take a shower, and I wondered if you wouldn't mind." 

"Oh, yeah, go ahead, I was going to leave anyway." 

Before Changkyun makes his way outside, Minhyuk stops him which causes the other to halt with a tilt of the head. "Uhm, about what happened a few days ago when you entered the room, and I pulled on the door, I'm sorry about...that aftermath."

"It's alright, I know it was an accident, and it was surprising, to say the least. And to also answer the question you asked me at the music video recording about Kihyun and Wonho kind of doing a tug-of-war on me, it seems like it's all in good intentions but, I'm not sure why those two are the ones who fawn over me the most." The rapper fiddles his fingers as he focuses his gaze on the floor, playing with the hem of his thin shirt. His mind goes to the cuddles of Wonho and the kiss he almost had with Kihyun; he couldn't quite figure it out.

"Hm, I sort of question that though but, alright." They both chuckle, making Changkyun feel a bit nervous that he was having a full on conversation with the blonde vocalist. The younger wondered when he was going to wake up and see he was in his bunk bed, or possibly stop from zoning out and he'd be sitting there at the dinner table back all the way in No Mercy; just a fantasy is his head. But everything was too real, and Changkyun was just in awe at how now the member who hated him the most was talking to him. Minhyuk smiles patting the younger on the shoulder again with a smile that Changkyun cant quite put his finger on, but smiles back in return. The blonde talks how the two of them could hang out to patch up wounds that still need to be healed, to entirely make amends and the other thinks that would be a good idea.

When Changkyun walks out back into the living room, he sees everyone (or almost everyone) has gotten up, and Jooheon and Wonho are organizing the living room, while Kihyun is in his second home; the kitchen. Shownu and Hyungwon are still in a sleepy state, rubbing their eyes that need to yet be adjusted to the light. The younger makes his way to the kitchen, helping the vocalist cut vegetables and this time, making sure that the wooden spoon stays far away from Kihyun and Wonho. After the food is finished, the table is set, and everyone begins to sit down, Shownu taking a seat next to the younger and the other one was being fought over by Minhyuk and Wonho this time, looking as if they were playing musical chairs. Wonho, being the bigger body was able to steal the seat, leaving Minhyuk to groan and the others to stare in question. Changkyun guessed that Minhyuk really wanted to try his hardest to make peace with the youngest.  
_

Another day of dance practice occurs, possibly the second to last or third to last depending on when they are ready to finally debut, the date being the fourteenth of May, and felt like it was just around the corner. The music video for the song Trespass has now finished, the outcome really pleasing to all the members, watching it over and over again in awe as they couldn't believe it was their own video and the one video that would show their potential, and it was their ticket into the idol world. After their struggles with training and then hell broadcasting (aka No Mercy, but Minhyuk started calling it that), the members couldn't believe they would be able to debut. The music video's teaser was about to go up in a few days, the month of May coming in soon. Maybe things were looking better, and he believed that the boys that he hasn't seen in a while were now going to leave him alone. For a moment, he doesn't know why they haven't been caught which sort of upsets Changkyun but, the bullies were so bold that they decided to show up in front of his other members as sort of like a mocking to him. And know that the rapper thoroughly thinks about everything, the places he was beaten up in had no cameras. The bathroom and the small closet had nothing of the sorts. So, he had that hope that they got tired and decided that it was not worth it anymore.

"Aw damn, we ran out of the water bottles," Wonho says, leaning his head back as he tries to shake the remaining drops onto his tongue. "Is there another case in here?"

"Sadly no, I think there might be one in a food storage room like right down the hall," Shownu mentions, about to go out the door and get it.

"I can get it hyung. You all can rest I don't mind."

"But," Minhyuk speaks up, scratching his head. "You don't have muscles. Can you be able to carry it over here?" Changkyun nods, sure of himself. "Well, he has a body of youth and purity then."

"What the hell?" Hyungwon looks up from his phone. "That sounds really weird."

Changkyun gets up and stretches his muscles. He actually also wants to use the soda machine to wake his body up a little, not wanting to voice that out or want to seem like he wants more of an unhealthy option. The others shrug their shoulders, telling the maknae to be careful. With a skip in his step, he makes sure to have a dollar in his pocket and goes to the vending machine first, getting himself a clear soda and drinking it on the way to the food storage room. He knows he shouldn't be walking alone but, with everything that has happened with Minhyuk and Hyungwon and the no longer hateful comments, he figures that the bullies decided it wasn't fun anymore; especially since the members were around him all the time. The younger also needed a small break from Wonho, Kihyun and now Minhyuk who decided more the merrier to be closer to him. It wasn't as if Changkyun was complaining about the attention he was receiving, it was just how a little obnoxious and touchy the two (now three) was. 

Drinking his soda on the way with the occasional shivers from the carbonation, he makes his way to the room and throws his drink away in the trash, looking through all the things in the small space. Changkyun spots the case of water as he wonders if he should get the case or the big bottles as they were in the fridge. He didn't want to give the others lukewarm water, but if he did the other option, he would have more to carry. The door behind him opens, making Changkyun laugh a little, shaking his head as he decides to pick the cold bottles. 

"Geez, Minhyuk, I know I'm a skinny person, but that's nice of you to help."

"What makes you think that?" The door closes, and Changkyun freezes in his spot. That was not Minhyuk's voice. He whips he head around, making eye contact with the three bullies he hasn't seen in a while, mentally hitting himself for thinking EVERYTHING was alright. He gets pushed into the wall as panic sets inside, just as soon as all his bruises have healed, he doesn't want them to reappear worse than before. "We haven't messed with you for awhile after your stupid bandmates have been crowding around you. What did you do or tell them huh?" 

One of them lifts up Changkyun's shirt, frowning at how all the bruises were gone and he kicks the younger in the stomach with a smile. "Well, these healed actually pretty quickly. But, you need to know how worthless you still are to people. You're going to debut in three weeks but, how about we postpone it even more!"

The three bullies kick Changkyun as he screams in pain, wrapping his arms around his stomach to shield himself, arms soon being pulled away and holding them up by two of the three boys, the other boy throwing punches at his now revealed stomach. Tears roll down his face as the agony is unbearable, arms being let go as he slumps down to the floor. In his slight dazed state, he hears the three conversating how much of a severe condition they should beat him in, wanting the debut date to be postponed even further so that the company will just throw away Monsta X for causing too many problems. The boys laugh at their idea, and Changkyun's muscles seize up. The younger picked up something next to him, a gush of confidence coming within him and throws what appears to be a can at one them, causing the boy to fall onto his knees and Changkyun tries to make a run for it. Before he reaches to door to run to his hyungs for help, only to be grabbed by the arm and get yanked to the floor and kicked once again. 

"You asshole!" One of the three says, and Changkyun earns himself another hit in the chest, feeling new bruises blossom against his flesh. "I hope you know that you're going to pay for that!"

For the next few minutes, Changkyun gets beaten up in the same places he was before, the pain coming to him even more painful as if opening the same wounds. The bullies laugh, one of the three taking out his phone and looks back Changkyun whose coughing up a storm, eyes red from the crying. 

"More." The rapper hears the one with the phone in his hands say. "I still have this picture of the last time for memory sake. He doesn't look as bad as compared to this. Beat him up more."

The two smile, obliging as they continue to kick and punch Changkyun in the back and stomach. The younger feels as if he's on his last breath as if everything was going to get taken away and he would die. He wishes that he wasn't so stupid and decided that it was okay to walk out alone, but he needs to get back to the others. The kicking stops, and he hears a click of a camera shutter, the bully with the phone smiling. He hears some words he can't make out, and with one last kick, they leave him laying on the floor black and blue. The bruises are slowly making an appearance again as he makes an attempt to stand, yelling in discomfort that shoots throughout his body. The words of Shownu come into his mind, telling him how strong he is and how much he's been through. With that small hope, Changkyun makes an effort to stand and lean the wall for support again, slowly making his way to the fridge and put the cold waters in a bag he finds nearby. With all the little strength he has left, the maknae shuffles back to the dance room where the members turned their heads, worried but relieved he has returned. 

Kihyun runs up to him to give Changkyun a hug, pulling back when the younger makes a disapproving noise, and it sends alarm bells ringing. Something that didn't settle well with the main vocalist, the others heard it as well, looking at one another. 

"Sorry hyung, this was just really heavy, and my muscles ached. I got a little lost, but I eventually found it."

Wonho sighs, putting a hand to his chest. "Geez Kyun, don't scare us like that. Shownu and I were just about to go out and look for you too. Why didn't you bring the case?"

"I wanted you guys to have something cold for all your hard work." 

"Aw, thanks Changkyun because I know I would chug down five bottles to help me calm down, but only that would help about fifty percent if it were warm." Minhyuk comes over to give Changkyun a hug, body hurting but he doesn't make any more noise to worry his hyungs, not when everything is working out so well. And if Minhyuk is hugging him, the youngest knows that he shouldn't ruin anything to tear relationships up. 

"Well, should we all take a few drinks and begin practicing again?" Jooheon questions, wiping away his sweat.

Changkyun wants to say something but is too afraid to voice anything out, as if something within him is not letting him speak; vocal chords not seeming to work. His body isn't in the right state to be moving, and if he were to maneuver around the dance room, it wouldn't be pretty. He knows that Kihyun has told him many times to come to him for anything, even if he is hurting. Shownu nods his head, taking a drink of his water bottle and Hyungwon already begins to go to his spot in the dance room. Changkyun turns to Wonho, words stuck in his throat as the older then looks at him. In the end, he shakes his head and mutters he forgot what he was going to ask, too afraid that what he would say next will blow up into chaos. Kihyun watches and places a hand on Changkyun, eyes telling the maknae to say anything to him, and the younger begins to feel the guilt flow through his veins. 

A small smile appears on his face, and Kihyun returns it, believing that everything is fine and goes to where Hyungwon is. As soon as the vocalist turns his back, Changkyun's smile disappears and he goes to his place in the formation, knowing full well he should have told everyone to either rest or tell them what happened. He hears the music boom through the walls, skipping the part where Jooheon's goes on his and Shownu's back, grateful to pass by that movement. His body aches more with all the arm movements and sees that within the mirror, he isn't giving his full energy; body weak. Shownu does the jump over him and Jooheon for his part, the hand on Changkyun's back making him want to cry. Once in the line, he tries his best to slide out of the way without looking so weak and tired. After he puts on the best smile for his one line just before the chorus, he moves to the back and bumps into Minhyuk, falling down hard on the floor. He begins to cough, chest hurting as his hand flies up to his torso, feeling it almost grow hot. 

"I'm sorry Changkyun!" Minhyuk apologizes for the first time in the dance room. Jooheon runs to stop the music and Changkyun cant stop coughing, causing everyone to stare in worry. Hyungwon goes to grab some water and hand it to the younger, but he can't even lift a finger to take it from the blonde. The rapper feels as if his ribcage is going to explode and he feels dizzy, his other hand holding his stomach as if he's about to pass out. The other member's voices sound distant as if static is filling up his ears, and it makes everything hurt more. "Changkyun are you okay?! I'm really sorry, I didn't think we'd bump into each other that hard." 

"Changkyun what's wrong can you talk at all?" Kihyun slides over to the younger's side, patting his back and before anyone can guess, Changkyun throws up on the floor. 

Jooheon screams, covering his eyes as he sinks into the floor and the younger hears gasps around the room, panic settling in. More comes out of Changkyun's mouth, and he feels like he's about to die. 

"He's throwing up blood, call an ambulance quick!" Kihyun screams and Shownu runs to grab his phone from his bag, hands shaking. Wonho runs to get some towels, covering the bloody mess in front of the pair and Minhyuk also covers his eyes, possibly now starting to cry. It wasn't his fault, but Changkyun couldn't say anything, still coughing as Kihyun tries his best to console him and rub his back. Hyungwon grabs another towel to wipe away the blood from Changkyun's mouth, and the younger begins to cry as he holds his stomach. 

"It's-not your-f-fault Minhyuk. Th-they did it again hyungs. It hurts so much..." 

"What?!" Wonho moves to lift up Changkyun's shirt and the bruises are revealed to everyone in the room, Kihyun freaking out even more. To Hyungwon and Minhyuk, they freak out and the taller blonde run to where they keep an emergency first aid kit.

"Changkyun! Why didn't you tell us before we started dancing?! This just happened now didn't it?!"

"Don't yell at him!" Minhyuk yells, and Changkyun doesn't feel well especially when all the members begin screaming. He wants to close his eyes but jolts up when a soft slap comes in contact with his cheek. Hyungwon comes to his side and messily looks through the red box, finding anything useful. 

"Stop it!" Jooheon cries, body shaking as he is now in Shownu's arms being cradled. "Please, I don't want Kyun to die!" 

Changkyun believes he might though, his body felt numb and he decides to lay on his back until Wonho stopped him, raising his voice a little. "No! Changkyun, you need to stay sitting up!"

Minhyuk goes to throw his arms around the younger as he cries into his shoulder now, and Changkyun doesn't even move an inch. About to close his eyes, slipping away into unconsciousness, another soft slap comes in contact with his cheeks. 

"Don't you dare Changkyun!" Kihyun cries, and Changkyun goes back onto his hands and knees, the feeling of needing to throw up again is coming back. "Just do it if you need to. Shownu when is the ambulance coming?!" 

"They said they're coming!" 

"Changkyun..."

"Hurry, hurry!"

"Get him outside quick. We should go outside! They'll be there when we head out I bet!"

The voices begin to fade as they're hard to distinguish and strong arms pick him up, Wonho grabbing his arms and Shownu grabs his feet. The doors open and in comes their manager, gasping before he can say a word at the scene in front of him. "I was called here by Shownu too, is the ambulance is coming?"

"Yes, it's on its way they said. We're going to go take him outside." Shownu says.  
_

Changkyun doesn't remember what happened, but all he knows is that he's alive; at least he thinks. The white walls come into his line of vision that's still a little hazy, blinking several times to figure out where he's at. The room doesn't look like the dorm room, and the constant beeping comes into his ears as he turns his head to the sound to see a heart monitor. He's at the hospital, and he still feels a little dizzy, a small headache still banging against his cranium. His mouth feels a little dry, as well as a metal taste that lingers against his tongue and he looks around to see everything in the room come out brighter. Kihyun, Wonho, and Minhyuk are at his bedside, Jooheon and Shownu are cuddled up on a chair, and Hyungwon is sleeping next to the pair. Changkyun sits up, his movement waking up Kihyun who happens to be a light sleeper. He blinks away the brightness, eyes shooting open to see the maknae awake and moving. 

"Changkyun!" 

"Kyun!" Jooheon shouts by the sound of Kihyun's voices as the shine in his eyes show he's about to cry again. 

By the shouting of his name, everyone else slowly begins to wake up and see their youngest member moving and looking around the room. Minhyuk and Wonho fight the urge to leap forward to hug the boy after seeing an IV into the boy's arm, and they bite their lip.

"How are you feeling?" Shownu questions, his tone soft and almost quiet. "The doctor said you were a little dehydrated as well, and that because of the blunt force trauma, you have internal bleeding in the abdominal area.

"Oh, wow, but I feel alright, I guess? What exactly happened though?"

"You passed out after we lifted you out of the dance room to take you outside while the ambulance was arriving. We were dancing, and then you and Minhyuk bumped into one another, and you started coughing really badly when you hit the floor." Hyungwon says, concern evident on his face. 

"And then you started to throw up blood..." Minhyuk adds on. 

Changkyun feels a hand on his own, looking up to the owner of the soft touch. The intense glare of Wonho made the younger gulp, unsure what the older had to say. "The bruises came back and much worse from what Kihyun said. Did they do something to you? Those three boys who came up to us at the recording that one time." The younger turns his stare to the white sheets of the hospital bed, slowly nodding his head.

"So, it was those boys that I asked you about?" Kihyun tilts his head in question. A nod from Changkyun comes, and it makes the main vocalist mad, knowing that the youngest knew who was hurting him all along. "And you didn't tell us? The bruises looked so much worse than when I first discovered them, they really put more force and had way more ill intention for you to have internal bleeding."

"They'd come at me if I told anything, I was afraid."

"But it wouldn't have gone to this extent. The doctor told us you might have to go into surgery now." Shownu mentions.

Changkyun looks at their leader, eyes wide as he starts to cry. "No! But the debut date!" 

"The debut doesn't matter right now Kyun," Hyungwon says, looking at the younger. "This is more important."

"But! You've all worked so hard, and here I am messing it up!" 

"Kyun!" Minhyuk smiles softly, wiping away his tears which make Changkyun freeze at the gentle action. "You never messed anything up."

Coming from Minhyuk, Changkyun begins sobbing uncontrollably, too emotional for him. He places his face into his hands.

"We love you Changkyun," Hyungwon adds.

"You're the best we could ever ask for Kyun." Wonho smiles, leaning his head on the bed to gaze up at the younger.

"A little brother to me. I'm glad you were chosen in the end Changkyun." Jooheon sniffs. 

"You mean so much to us we wouldn't want anyone else. No one can replace you Kyun." Kihyun smiles, fixing the maknae's bangs.

"And you're strong. With everything you've been through, you deserve all the luck and love that can be given. We'd do anything for you Changkyun. You're part of Monsta X, and if you're not there, then we're not a band." Shownu comments as Changkyun lifts his tear-stained face. 

"Hyungs, I love you so so much..."


	20. Hospital Visits, Midnight Talks and Board Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a slightly lighter chapter as I was feeling a bit fluffy and I went longer with 5,000+ words! And by small relationships, I didn't really want like dating but certain affectionate members towards Changkyun. It gets a little crazy in the end but that's always Monsta X lol. There is a Changhyuk moment so hehe, I'm still wondering what do for Wonho.
> 
> P.S: I'm kind of thinking like the moment when Minhyuk kissed Changkyun's nose on the Vlive and everyone freaked out but of course, no one was really jealous and it was like an everyday thing, so I guess that's the relationship here lol?
> 
> P.S.S: Can any guess the game they're playing?

"I hope he's going to be alright..." Jooheon mumbles, playing with the hem of his sweater. He wipes his still red eyes from all the crying, hurting at how many times he had to rub the rough cloth against his skin. 

"I'm sure he'll come out of there just fine. He's a strong member." Shownu reassures, patting the younger over the head. 

"Stronger than Shownu and I combined." Wonho smiles as he tries to lighten the mood a little more, and it works as Jooheon smiles a little.

It's been about an hour since they were sitting outside the maknae's door, the doctors evaluating Changkyun to see if needed to undergo surgery, and it was something the members really didn't want to happen. The six of them are cuddled up onto the small chairs, not even trying to go back to the waiting room or the dorms. Their manager had come inside thirty minutes ago, giving them food from the nearest fast food joint that ran open for 24 hours as none of them wanted to step a foot away and out of sight of Changkyun's room. Worry seemed like an understatement, and anyone who passed by knew that something very traumatic possibly happened.

"I hate myself..." Minhyuk mumbles, earning concerned stares from the others. "If only we had been there for him, all of us, to accept that he was part of the lineup in the very beginning and that we should have treated him like he was there the whole time, then he wouldn't have felt so lonely. And how I ignored him the most, adding insult to injury while he was hurting so much. Just now I find out about the bruises, why didn't anyone tell me to shut the fuck up and tell me what he was going through. I would have understood."

"He didn't want anyone else to know. Changkyun believed that he was making a big deal out of nothing." Kihyun responds quietly, playing around with the straw of his soda. 

"But that wouldn't have made me mad. It would have been better than what's going on now. Changkyun is in there, and we don't know if he'll have surgery. And if he does, then that's going to make him feel more miserable as the debut date comes further!"

"It's not like we'd know it would get to this point Minhyuk!" Kihyun snaps back, tears forming in his eyes.

"Guys! Now isn't the time to be yelling." Hyungwon stops the two from bickering any more, Kihyun massaging his temple as Minhyuk folds his arms sighs. The third younger was right, now wasn't the time to start going at one another's throats, there were more important things.

Th blonde looks back at the main vocalist and everyone around himself as the look of sadness is like a mirror of his own emotion. "Sorry, it's just- its a lot to take in in one day." 

The brunette shakes his head. "We understand Min. It's all shocking to us. None of us thought this would get to this point."

"I just hope he's doing okay without us. I don't want him to feel alone and scared while they're touching him to see whats wrong since those boys..." Wonho says, voice shaking as his eyes go back to the door where Changkyun is being examined further.

After what feels like hours to the members, the doors open and everyone shoots up from their seats as the doctor steps out and into the hallway. It's almost midnight, and no one has really gotten any sleep with how rattled they are. The doctor nods his head and gives a thumbs up, making all six sigh in relief. 

"The internal bleeding seemed to have halted. Sometimes, internal bleeding can stop on its own but, if it's ongoing, then we'd have to go into surgery to correct the problem."

Jooheon gulps, peeking from behind Shownu. "Doctor, what will you do to correct the problem if it somehow happens again. Will he die?"

"It's a highly serious problem, and yes, you can die from it. It's severe because excess blood can compress organs and cause their dysfunction when the bleeding does not stop spontaneously. And the loss of blood will cause a hemorrhagic shock, which can lead to brain damage and death." The oldest rapper whines hearing how Changkyun possibly could have died if everyone had not been quick enough. "If we have to do the surgery, to correct the issue, we'd have to cut a large incision in the skin of the abdomen and carefully explores the area. We then seal the ends of any leaking blood vessels with a heat probe or suture material."

"How would we know if it happens again? Since it is internally." Kihyun questions, rubbing the rappers arms as he knows how scary everything sounds.

"Well, just like the bruises were in the abdominal area it had started to swell. You told me that this was the second time so this was possibly more severe blunt force or added to injury from the first ones. Internal bleeding could be less severe with symptoms like headaches or dizziness, but it's always good to come to a doctor for check-ups. We can do a monthly check up on Changkyun to see if he's better since you are idols I was told." The six nod their heads. "Even so, let him rest as much as he can and come back within a week. He should be better by then, and we'll also make sure it hasn't continued." 

"Thank you, doctor! Can we go see him now?" They earn a nod and all the members practically push and shove their way inside the room, to see Changkyun sitting on the hospital bed looking out the window.

"Kyun!" Jooheon runs first and plops himself on the bed, shocking the youngest and looking his way. The maknae smiles a little and Minhyuk joins in as well, eyes bawling. 

Shownu smiles, taking a seat on one of the chairs inside and Hyungwon follows him. Wonho and Kihyun stood at the foot of the bed looking at the trio throwing themselves at Changkyun. "We were concerned for you. I've never seen Minhyuk cry so much in my life and time I've known him." Shownu speaks, chuckling a little when he hears the blonde mutter a threat that holds no weight to it. 

Changkyun nods, smiling as he pats Minhyuk and Jooheon on the back. "I do feel a little better but, what will happen to practice now?"

Wonho shrugs, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "We'll just have to wait till you feel a hundred percent until then. I mean, with the music video recording and out practices after that they've been spot on."

"I'm sorr-"

"If you say 'I'm sorry Changkyun, I'm going to hit you," Kihyun says with a joke at the tip of his tongue. Despite their current situation, the younger still chuckles at the main vocalist's type of affection. "Don't think you're holding us back because you're not. Everything is going to be fine."

"Changkyun, do you want to do the surgery?" The said male whips his head to Shownu, shaking his head. Surgery was the last thing that the younger wanted, not wanting to go through that especially if the doctor told him the internal bleeding healed on its own. "Then don't move around even though you may feel like you're letting us all down. You're not doing anything wrong, and the ones who should be at fault are those three boys."

The hair on Changkyun's neck starts to feel hot and tickle, seeing that Jooheon is speaking in the crook of his neck; almost hard to hear him. "We told the manager about it, and he said that in the food storage room there's a camera just in case there are people who go in there to steal stuff in there or something like that."

"What?" Changkyun blinks, not believing what he is hearing. 

"But, you might need to view the video and..." Wonho trails off scratching his head. "We also might have to be there to make sure it's those boys we encountered before."

"I-I'm alright with that."

"I'm mad at you Changkyun for not telling me and even letting the others not tell me, but I'm still giving you my love," Minhyuk mumbles. The younger laughs, patting the blonde on the head.  
_

Once again, Changkyun wakes up at an ungodly hour of the morning, seeing the clock reading five and the bright sunlight peeking in but the room was still dull. All six of the members stayed with him for the night, Minhyuk and Jooheon taking up one empty side of the younger. With all the blankets and body heat, it makes him feel a little sweaty and hot, especially when summer is going to come closer. He decided for those two to go and sleep next to him since they both seemed to be the ones who were crying the most; never even moving away from him in fact. The rapper looks around the room, trying his best not to wake up his hyungs as he tries to reach out to get the glass of water off the small table next to him. Sadly enough, Minhyuk awakes from his slumber as if hair sticks up like never before and blinks around the room to see Changkyun with his hand out forward.

"Sorry hyung, I didn't mean to wake you," Changkyun whispers as he freaks out a little inside, but Minhyuk shakes his head. The older waves his hand, trying to get his thoughts together in his mind that's still trying to understand everything.

"No, you're fine. Did you need to go use the restroom?"

"Uh, actually I was only reaching for the glass of water."

Minhyuk turns to see what Changkyun is talking about, leaning forward to grab the cup and hand it to the other; ice still in solid pieces. Changkyun thanks his hyung, taking a big gulp as if he's never had a drink his life, the ice water putting energy back into him. The blonde silently laughs, covering his mouth as to not wake up the other members. The rapper tilts his head in confusion, and Minhyuk waves his hand again. "Sorry, I was laughing because of how cute you looked."

Changkyun was going to rip out the IV and scream down the halls he was shocked, never even thinking to hear those words come out of Minhyuk's mouth. All the younger can manage out is a chuckle, scratching his head in embarrassment. He thanks the other who takes the glass and placed it back on the desk, the younger earning himself a gentle pinch and pull on his cheek as he hears Minhyuk whisper the same line again. Although the brunette lets out a small whine, he can't complain, enjoying how comfortable he is with the other; reminding him to think of a punishment if he had forgotten it. The blonde cuddles up closer to Changkyun, their faces closer than before and the younger starts to get flashbacks to when he was so close to Kihyun. 

The maknae feels fingers messing around with his hair, twirling whatever long pieces could be played with and wrap around the other's finger. The two that are awake lay in silence, the sound of the others snoring or mumbling nonsense and soft footsteps of those outside the hospital room still walking around. The gesture almost makes him fall asleep again until the other speaks up, breaking the silence with his soft whispers.

"Why didn't you tell Hyungwon and I about the bruises? Everyone else knew except us, and Kihyun said that you were afraid we would hate you. Why would you think that?"

"I just thought that you would think I was faking or maybe you would seem that I was weak?" There's a slight questioning in Changkyun's voice, almost as if he is also unsure. "It was when I collapsed in the dance room and had to be taken back to the dorm." 

Minhyuk sighs, his breath tickling the youngers neck and part of his cheek. "But, something like that wouldn't have put more hate on you. I thought I was going to be in the hospital too after hearing about the bruises, especially since they came back and even worse."

"I was just a bit scared since you would..." 

Changkyun stops, and Minhyuk's fingers do the same, turning his direction to the younger. "I would what?"

"...be mad at me for no reason."

"Oh...that." The blonde sighs, making Changkyun shiver at the sensation when it hits his skin. "Yeah, I was a real jerk. I was just so butthurt. I needed to realize that the show did everyone dirty, including you."

"At least you know now that you were an asshole."

Minhyuk playfully glares, giving the other a light slap on the arm. "Yah, don't talk to your hyung like that or it'll become a habit. But I'll let it slide." Changkyun chuckles, feeling a little more comfortable around the other through their whispering conversation. "I can't believe I tried to hate such a cute person like you. You're too gentle."

"You might have to watch out what you say hyung, I might have something for you to pay me back." 

The blonde shrugs. "Maybe I deserve it. I think the accident in the dorm probably made me open my eyes a little, I'm not sure."

"Accident?" Minhyuk turns his attention to the younger with a small questioning smirk on his lips, the memory coming back into Changkyun's head. "Oh, that incident. It almost wiped away from my brain."

"Maybe it wasn't such a bad incident in the end." Changkyun looks at the blonde as his finger begin to play with his hair again, making the younger feel more relaxed than he should. He's in the same spot he was when Kihyun was talking to him, and once again, Changkyun wasn't sure what to do. Now that all the others were asleep and Minhyuk and he was conversating, whatever was going to happen would probably just happen. Changkyun gets hot in the ears, blinking rapidly as his turns his gaze to the sleeping member on his other side, Jooheon as if he was going to help him in some sort of way. Taking a good look around the room, everyone didn't even have one eye open, the younger not wanting to explain the situation if one did start to stir or wake up. So for now, Changkyun turns his head back to Minhyuk to look for any answers. 

All the rapper could do was stare, the affection that lacked from Minhyuk was in front of him now, just in a different way of course. It was possible that was the reason why because he didn't tell the other to stop or push him away. The blonde leaned in closer as Changkyun could feel the soft lips brush against his, waiting for someone to wake up and catch them; but it didn't happen. Their mouths connected slowly, the same feeling coming back to him from the day of the small accident only longer this time. Changkyun felt Minhyuk move slowly once and he did the same, not really knowing what to do as he followed what the other was doing, to be honest. The act made the younger question his sexuality more, all of the members to be exact.

How was he going to explain this now? How another member has their lips on him. Changkyun's mind was on a rollercoaster, unsure what to do if he should move or hold his breath or open his eyes or keep them closed shut; he didn't have a steady mind. He didn't know his life would turn out like this, it felt as if he was in a book or a movie, so surreal. The younger could feel Minhyuk's hand come up to his neck, thumb caressing his cheek and bringing them closer together. Once the other moved his lips a few more times, the brunette pulled away, his ears catching on fire they would possibly fall off from embarrassment. Minhyuk's eyes fluttered open, a playful smile dancing on his lips as he pulled on Changkyun's cheek, a whispered chuckle coming out. "You really are cute."  
_

With morning past and hitting noon, it was Changkyun's last day at the hospital, the others went to go get him some food and Jooheon was more than happy to lend him his tablet so the youngest could watch games. Changkyun was constantly bombarded with many questions and asking if he was okay or needed anything or any help, his mind once again going off the railings. He would only smile and wave his hands, hesitant on asking things only when one of the others would mention something. Their manager came inside earlier with some bad news so far, how they suspected who they believe were the bullies but, before the company could act quick enough, they've escaped or laid down low. Of course, the face of melancholy and disappointment was not missed by those in the room, their hearts breaking to see the youngest in such a state. But, there was hope, and for sure the trio would pay for what they've down. Changkyun had other things more important as he stared at the screen on Jooheon's tablet, listening carefully to the song as it repeated once more for about the fifth time. 

The younger made sure not to move too much until he could be let go, even then, however, he'd still have to be cautious of his movements. He lifted his arms and memorized the feet in his head at the same time, placing his body in the dance room as if he was using his whole figure. Even in his weak state, he wanted to work hard for his hyungs as they've been doing for him by taking care of him (some a little more affectionate than others). Yet, in the time he's practicing on his bed, the younger is also daydreaming, and staring outside the window thinking about the kiss he shared with Minhyuk early in the morning. Every time he would think back on it, his body would want to curl up, and he would make the weirdest noises as if a ghost went through him. Changkyun shook his head, replaying the song that started up again, moving his arms to the music as he dances the choreography. 

"Are you shooting away flies?" Wonho steps inside as he chuckles, bags of food in his hands as he watches the younger hit the air for the chorus. 

"Oh, you're still practicing in your state?" Kihyun comes in after with drinks and shakes his head. "I guess there's no stopping you, huh?"

"The boy will always find a way to do something. He probably knows ten ways how to tie his shoes, we don't know." Wonho remarks, sitting on the bed by the younger's feet.

Changkyun chuckles, scratching the back of his head and given a bag of food. All the other members trickle inside with smiles on their faces, and Jooheon plops himself next to the maknae who makes room for his hyung. 

"Actually Kyun, before you eat, Hyungwon and Shownu got something." Jooheon nods his head to the door, and Changkyun turns his attention to the door, soon seeing the pair come inside with a cork board. He doesn't know what to think, a bit perplexed on why the members brought a cork board. 

"We all thought to eat with you so we needed a bigger table we call it." Hyungwon smiles, receiving a chuckle from the maknae who shakes his head. 

Minhyuk rolls his eyes as he holds one more bag of food. "Yeah, Shownu and Wonho's thick legs could only hold so much food."

"You guys are crazy. But I love you all." Changkyun smiles, and all six stare back at him affectionately and the younger could feel the intense energy from them, filling the room it's so much. 

"Anything for you Changkyun." Wonho smiles, making room for the cork board that is being placed in the middle. 

The rapper brings his legs closer to himself as the members bring chairs closer to the bed, Jooheon and Kihyun taking the spot next to him. Changkyun knows that for the next week Jooheon (out of everyone) will hang to him like a monkey with how much the whole situation hit him in his weak heart. Kihyun distributes the food among everyone as well as the drinks, all the members eating happily and the maknae feels he's on cloud nine. He hasn't really had a good burger, the last time they had come with food Changkyun wasn't allowed to eat something a bit heavy and greasy considering his condition; they were scared it could trigger something.

"I see that our maknae was still working hard." Shownu breaks everyone hunger-induced trance. "Don't overthink about it though. We don't want you hurting yourself." 

"It's alright. I just want to be sure I remember certain steps since I won't be able to dance for a while." But, Changkyun's mind slowly turns to the dark side, and now that the voice in his head that told him hateful things disappeared, the harmless voice told himself to tell the others about his cutting; the words hurting yourself ringing in his ears. The younger decides that now wasn't the time to discuss such matters, smiling as he took another bite of his burger. All Changkyun had on his mind right now was going back to the dorm and catching the bullies who are now deciding to hide their faces. After their mocking appearance of showing themselves in front of his members, they pick this time to coward away like scared dogs with tails between their legs.  
_

Changkyun breathes a sigh and yells into the air, throwing his arms out as if he's about given an enormous hug and inhales the smell of the dorm. He's happy to be back actually, a place he really never wanted to come back to until everything changed for the better. Wonho and Hyungwon who come in behind him laugh at his actions, understanding how he would feel after being in the hospital bed for so long. The youngest three make themselves comfortable on the couch and Changkyun tugs on both of their arms, bringing them closer to him.

"It's good to be back guys."

"That's nice but no horsing around with Changkyun. He's still fragile." Kihyun points out, heading straight to the kitchen to do whatever. 

"Yes, mom!" Everyone says in unison, the remaining making their way to where the youngest ones are. Changkyun feels happy, a bubbling feeling overcoming him as he gets an idea. He bolts off the couch as the others stare at his running figure in confusion as he goes down the hallway. Now that he's back at the dorm, he wants to play a board game with his hyungs and laugh around instead of watching television. Once he comes back, Kihyun has now sat on the couch, and Changkyun holds up the box, the items inside shuffling.

"You wanna play a game?" Minhyuk questions and Changkyun nods his head like a bobblehead. "I'm in!" Minhyuk is the next to bolts off and sits on the floor, followed by Jooheon and Wonho who almost slip with their socks on the hardwood floor. 

Changkyun opens the box, setting the game up and the slower ones make their way to the circle on the floor. Hyungwon and Shownu sit next to him, watching the dimpled younger pass out play money and game pieces needed. Everyone picks a colored car, stuffing them on the start space and decide to go from youngest to oldest for the order (giving Changkyun the first move). The all play and laugh at what everyone lands, their faces when they read the spaces, especially when Minhyuk falls on a say no to drugs space. 

They spin the small wheel, moving their car and collecting money and well as tiles and losing money on the way to the end. 

"10,000 dollars for a wedding reception?!" Wonho's eyes grow big, whining as he shovels out the play money amongst everyone's laughter. It doesn't help when the black-haired then lands on a space that makes him lose the same amount again. 

Kihyun's face contorts into many emotions as he reads the space he lands on, joining the almost broke group with Wonho as he pays 20,000 for night school.

"I win the lottery!" Jooheon smiles, collecting 50,000 dollars and everyone groans at how successful the rapper is. 

"Oh, I get a baby girl." Shownu smiles, placing a pink human in the car. Minhyuk isn't so lucky with his next few turns.

"What kind of crap is this?" The blonde rolls his eyes, having to get another car to be able to fit his baby girl, boy, and twins. "I wished I lost money instead." And luck wasn't on Minhyuk's side when he has to pay 50,000 per child for college.

All the members crack up, seeing the broke Minhyuk fake sobbing as he throws his money on the floor. His words were spoken too soon, and everyone knew that the boy wanted to go back in time to change what he said.

"Oh! Find buried treasure collect 80,000." Hyungwon smiles, being handed the money. 

"Care to donate to the Help Minhyuk Cause?" The smaller blonde gives his best pout and puppy, being ignored by the taller who sniffs the fake money in front of the others face.

"Midlife crisis! Start a new career?!" Changkyun whines, looking through the cards for another that he believes would pay well. The member laugh, Hyungwon, and Shownu patting the maknae on the back.

"I get twins!" Jooheon adds two blue pieces in his car. "I finally land on one of those."

"Produce a rock video, pay 100,000?! I think I'm bankrupted now because that's more than what I have here!" 

Wonho laughs, hiding his smile with his but it soon disappears when he lands on the next spot. He groans, throwing his head back. "Tropical vacation, pay 25,000."

"I get a tile! Be my valentine!" Minhyuk smiles and adds the orange piece to his pile. "Kyun, will you be my valentine?" He bats his eyes, and before the said male can respond, Kihyun rolls his eyes playfully and speaks up.

"Please, you're too needy and obnoxious."

"You can say that again" Hyungwon snickers, making Jooheon do the same.

Minhyuk chuckles, smirking as he looks at Kihyun. Changkyun knows that the blonde has something up his sleeve but isn't sure. The main vocalist quirks a brow when Minhyuk leans over the board a little as if he's telling a secret, the pair across from one another. 

"Well, I say otherwise if I've kissed him before." 

Everyone's mouth and eyes fly open as they stare and the blonde who holds his chin up high and mighty, the look on Kihyun and Wonho's face especially are more hilarious, the youngest bitting his tongue to hold his laughter (it was a funny scene actually). The pair yells Changkyun's name, causing the male to look at the black-haired and primary vocalist, sweating quickly as he doesn't know what to expect.

"You didn't kiss Minhyuk did you?!" Kihyun probes.

"It was an accident!" 

"Not the second time." Minhyuk chimes.

"Minhyuk!" Changkyun grows bright red.

"My baby!" Wonho flings his body to Changkyun whose play money flies out of his hands, tight grip almost choking the kid and Hyungwon and Shownu can't understand what is going on anymore. Jooheon is frozen like a stone with his mouth still hanging open in shock. "Let me love you more!"

"I'll donate to the Help Minhyuk Cause by putting my foot up your ass Lee Minhyuk!" Kihyun throws Jooheon's money at the blonde, the older rapper not even noticing the action as the vocalist literally snatched it from his hands. Minhyuk laughs, getting up and throwing his tiles at the shorter as he makes a run for it. 

Shownu places his money on the board game and stands up, hearing Minhyuk and Kihyun running around the dorm as another headache comes to his mind. "It looks like I might retire in real life too. Night Hyungwon."

"Actually I'm joining you on that one. Staying out there will be a death trap." Hyungwon and Shownu sneak their ways out of the once calm (now a zoo) living room and into the shared room they sleep in. Jooheon is still trying to process things, mumbling under his breath and slowly gets up to go presumably to bed. Changkyun is still stuck in Wonho's grip, believing his cause of death by extreme cuddling from a muscle pig. The younger knows that Kihyun has taken his wooden weapon out to beat up the older, Minhyuk still laughing as he taunts the short-tempered shortie. The rapper isn't sure how the next few days with the trio will be like for him, Changkyun sighing as he decides to give up from the secure grip.

In the morning, Changkyun woke still in Wonho's arms that were now a little looser around his small frame. The younger looked around the dim room, glad the curtains covered the harsh sunlight entering the dorm. Not too far from him, he could see Kihyun laying on top of Minhyuk with the spoon in his hand and the older with his arms wrapped around, the smaller. The rapper isn't really sure what happened between the two after Minhyuk's "confession," but it seemed there was no real fight, and Changkyun was glad. He noticed the game pieces all over the floor and the whole living room was actually a huge mess, something Kihyun wouldn't like if he woke up. 

Changkyun felt Wonho stir a little, snuggling closer to the younger as his eyes slowly opened. The black-haired smiled, looking to see that Minhyuk and Kihyun passed out and he lets out a chuckle, shaking his head.

"How are you feeling Changkyun? Do you feel alright so far?" The younger nods, actually enjoying the comfort of the older. Wonho patted Changkyun's head and kissed the top of it, slowly getting up to stretch his body as his eyes trailed back down to the sleeping pair. "Did you and Minhyuk really...?"

Changkyun nodded his head, unsure how to go about his day now. "Yeah, I wasn't sure what I was feeling, to be honest. I just let my body move I guess?"

"Well, what you may need to be aware of now-."

"Ugh, get off of me Kihyun, you're blocking my airways." Minhyuk was now awake, trying his best to shove off the vocalist. 

"Good, you deserve it." Kihyun chuckled as he never moved a muscle, not even bothering to lift the wooden spoon in his hand. 

Minhyuk whined like a child, trying to frail his arms. "At least let me sleep in my own bed, I'm beaten."

"Oh, I'll show you beat."

Changkyun honestly wondered how he got himself in such a relationship with his hyungs, never once imagining, daydreaming or dreaming of such a thing between him and his members. But nevertheless, he still loved them all even if there are three currently play fighting over him; he now thinks it could be a weird joke, but he highly doubts it.


	21. Affection, Video Tapes and Confessions Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, sorry for the long wait! This chapter is really long so there will be a part two to this! There is a Changki moment here and Wonkyun is getting a bit dry so they will be in part two! I noticed how much I put Kihyun near Changkyun since they're my ult ship so I need to stop making that a habit lol. 
> 
> EDIT OF 11/24: THE CHANGKI PART IS EDITED NOW TO BE A BUT LESS INTIMATE THAN IT ORIGINALLY WAS.
> 
> PLEASE READ MY NOTE AT THE END WHEN FINISHED! I don't put notes at the end but if I put it here it'll ruin wait happens when you read.

The day went by smoothly to Changkyun's surprise, not receiving any angry words from Kihyun and not even seeing his wooden weapon for the whole day. Hyungwon, Shownu, and Jooheon never mentioned the issue either as they turned away from it like the main vocalist. Wonho was just as cuddly as ever, possibly even with a little more affection. All the members were still caring over him and not treating him any different, as if the events that happened was an everyday thing. The members instead spent their day relaxing and pampering the younger to make sure he was all better. They had the whole day off with no work, and with everything that had gone on, the members couldn't be happier. Because of the time spent at the hospital, Changkyun wasn't able to bunk with Hyungwon, as well as the chaos in the living room after playing The Game of Life, he decides tonight would be a good start again. The taller didn't mind, smiling as he patted the space next to him as he knew the condition Changkyun was in and not wanting to turn him down; especially since it was their deal. The younger was extremely happy that all the members loved and appreciated him, welcoming him with opening arms even more now (wishing the events of him getting beaten up didn't happen). He spent time whispering to the taller when he was awake and unable to sleep, knowing it annoyed the blonde a little bit. He couldn't close his eyes just yet, his nerves and senses awake and not wanting to end the day. As Changkyun gave Hyungwon his thoughts about things he couldn't wrap his head around, the blonde pulled the rapper to his chest to shush the smaller boy up. Changkyun chuckles at the action as the other tries to cuddle him to sleep, hoping the gesture quickens the drowsy levels in his body. The warmth does help a little, not to mention the softness of the bedding as Chnagkyun begins to feel his eyes flutter a little. With being out of the hospital, he was finally away from the strong medicine smell and the rough blankets; lucky to have Minhyuk and Jooheon to get his mind off of that feeling. 

The rapper groans because he wasn't finished talking and then whispers to the blonde for some water (something he meant to ask next before the taller pulled him close). With a small sigh, Hyungwon releases the younger, laying on his backside as if to compose himself. Changkyun quietly laughs at the older, the blonde soon getting off the bunk as he ruffles the rapper's hair to fetch some cold water. As his hyung leaves the room, the younger plops back on the mattress as he hears faint scuffling in the living room, hoping that Kihyun wouldn't wake up by the noise. He stares up at the ceiling, holding out his hands which touch the rough surface with the slightest graze of his fingertips. Changkyun can't see his reflection but, almost feels like he can as he visions his face smiling back at him. He places his hands on his stomach, lifting up the cloth and seeing the bad bruises staining his body. A sigh leaves his lips, turning in his hyung's bed as he watches Hyungwon come back inside with two bottles of water. The blonde makes it up the ladder and into the bunk, handing the other his beverage which he gulps half of it down. After arriving back from the hospital, the younger had also found himself to be more thirsty than any dance practice he's had. Placing his bottle at his feet, Changkyun cuddles back up with Hyungwon and sighs at the warmth, this time, falling asleep.

In the morning, Changkyun woke up in the arms of Hyungwon who was still sleeping as he felt the soft shaking of his shoulder, the room still dark ad dim as the light was forbidden to come inside. This time there was nobody else in the bunk that cuddled him to death except Kihyun who was trying to wake him up. The younger groaned and complained about wanting to sleep in more, earning a small laugh as the older made his way closer to the maknae. It was odd how tame the morning was, and Changkyun believes that since he's back from the hospital, playing rough wouldn't be ideal (even though Wonho had his strong arms around him after the board game). Changkyun wouldn't see it as a bother to be woken up by Kihyun, but after sleeping on the floor with Wonho, he wanted to relax a little more on something more softer. It felt too early to the rapper, way into the morning where Kihyun wouldn't be waking up the other members. That only meant that the vocalist needed help with something and Changkyun was always the person to come to first as he would be offering his assistance. 

"Hyung~." 

"Sorry Kyun, but Jooheon didn't even move an inch, and Minhyuk threw a pillow at me. Shownu wouldn't be of much help and neither would Wonho as he's passed out cold. I know Hyungwon wouldn't do it, so you're my only hope." Kihyun whispered, clearly not in his mood of hitting people with his wooden spoon if no one got up; it was too early anyway. "Please. I won't even make you move much since I know you're still recovering."

"What would I get in return then."

There was a pretty long pause, Changkyun thinking that because there were no other words or movement, he believed he was just dreaming. " My love for you." Kihyun earns a pout. "Okay, other than that, I can buy you some candy later on. And you can eat a little before dinner too~."

It lit up Changkyun's ears, and he turned around, more aware at the sentence that comes out of Kihyun's mouth. A grin comes on the younger's face as he wiggles out of Hyungwon's grip to hug the older. The brunette laughs and pats him on the shoulder, the pair then making their way to the kitchen and Changkyun sits on the couch. Still slightly waking up, the vocalist comes with some hot coffee already made as he carefully hands it to the younger. The rapper thanks his hyung, cautiously placing his lips on the glass to only jerk back when the piping hot liquid almost melts him; he was now awake after that. He makes his way to the kitchen where the older takes out vegetables and places them on the cutting board, seeing how the brunette is running around to do so many things (the shorter indeed really needed the help). Changkyun laughed and jumped in to begin cutting the required food, making Kihyun sigh in relief, a hand coming up to his chest. 

"Thank you Kyun, I'm really struggling here."

"Seeing you with three pans and trying to cut vegetables all at the same time seems like quite the load on your shoulders." Changkyun cut up the bell peppers first in the way the other ordered him to; small and diced. Even with his help, Kihyun was still seen moving around a lot to make sure things didn't burn and made lots of portions as trying to feed seven mouths weren't too comfortable just yet. The younger knew that it would take some time to not run around the kitchen to make sure everyone had at least an equal amount of servings. 

The vocalist thanked the other for the bell peppers, putting it into the pan and gave the younger another green one. As the rapper looked at what Kihyun was making, he could see that the brunette was making loaded omelets and quite a lot of them. As well as some rice in a cooker, some soup and frying some bulgogi. Changkyun always admired the older's skill, knowing that he wasn't very skilled at cooking, not even ramen could taste good. After a few more minutes, the rapper finished cutting the last of the vegetables, and Kihyun happily took it, sliding a bowl filled with eggs and spices inside. 

"You wouldn't mind whisking these, right? I have to make a little more meat."

"Why are you cooking so much hyung? It looks like you're making more than just for seven people."

Kihyun chuckled, placing the bulgogi on a big plate and placing some more on the frying pan. "I need to make sure you have lots to eat as well. That hospital food and fast food possibly wasn't the best choice. I knew I should have made something better and bring it to you."

"But, I feel pretty alright now." Kihyun gave him a look, making Changkyun bite his tongue a little. He should instead thank the older who was always pretty protective and mom-like to the members; especially towards Changkyun the most. The younger knows that Kihyun spoils him a little. "I- thank you hyung. I'm happy you always look out for me."

A small smile comes up to Kihyun's face, patting Changkyun on the back who whisks the eggs. He is happy and grateful for the support, knowing that everything will now come to an end. The younger is aware that either today or tomorrow he'll have to view the video with his hyungs, and also tell the five members that do not know about his cuts. He also makes sure to make something special for the members to thank them, possibly after their debut stage as they would be still in the celebrating mood. Changkyun glances at the older who focuses his attention on the meat that's cooking, waiting for the younger to finish whisking the eggs to make more omelets. 

After all the food is made and still hot and ready, Kihyun smiles brightly and brings Changkyun close to him which surprises the younger. The rapper looks at the spread in front of him, sharing the same emotion of content to see that they've finished, and also a little bit more time on their hands before they wake the others. 

"You can go watch some television Kyun. I'll clean up here and then begin to wake up the others."

"Uhm, I can actually set the table. You've already done a lot hyung."

"Aw, okay. You're such a great maknae." Kihyun plants a kiss on the youngers forehead along with a pat on the shoulder. Changkyun begins the place the empty dishes on the table, waiting for when the older will place the food as well before it starts to get cold. When he's done, he sits on the couch and turns on the television, making sure the volume is low as to not wake up the others just yet. The space between next to him then sinks from someone's weight, turning to see the brunette sighing as he has his eyes on the device as well. 

Changkyun turns back at the screen, a comfortable silence between the pair and the younger looks at the clock to see that it was still pretty early. He figures Kihyun would have to reheat the food on the stove (except the rice) but, he knows it doesn't take too long for that to happen. The younger feels the other place his head against his shoulder, seeing Kihyun pout a little.

"You alright hyung?" He hears the older hum, unsure if he is acknowledging it or not. He figured that the vocalist is tired from all the work and getting up earlier than everyone else, and also worrying about the younger of the recent events. "Did you want to take a small nap." 

Kihyun shakes his head, adjusting his position a little to make himself feel comfortable. "Just, sad to admit it but, a little bit jealous." 

The maknae turns his head slightly to the older, knowing that Kihyun is most likely talking about the incident of Minhyuk's confession of him and the blonde kissing. "You're not going to like hate Minhyuk though right? I don't want there to be a fight or anything like that."

When he hears the shorter laugh Changkyun's muscles lose the tense feeling a little, knowing that it wouldn't go too far to make the band break up. "No, I don't want it going that far either. Why do you have to be such a good maknae? That's not fair."

Changkyun hears the other whine, and it makes him laugh at the action, shaking his head and smiling as his hyung wraps his arms around him. He doesn't respond to the compliment slash question, unsure how to reply. The air shifts again, also feeling a change in temperature too. He knew Kihyun was going to try and finish what he started a few days or weeks ago, he wasn't sure the exact day. The indescribable feeling came back to the younger, that same tight feeling when he was with the main vocalist and with Minhyuk; a stop in time almost. If it was going to happen then Changkyun should just go for it first, get the nervous and shy feeling over with. 

In his thoughts, the younger doesn't notice that Kihyun has continued talking to him until he feels a poke against his cheek. Changkyun turns to Kihyun who gives him a questioning look, unknown to what the older has said. "You wouldn't mind would you?"

"Mind what?" 

Kihyun rolls his eyes and sinks into the couch again with a whine. "Really? You're telling me you weren't listening to your hyung. I shouldn't have to repeat it."

And Kihyun doesn't have to because before Changkyun can even process it himself, he just leans in quick and captures the younger's lips whose eyes widen at the sudden contact. Kihyun smiles, mentally laughing at Minhyuk who is still asleep and how he was able to finish what they started; even if it wasn't really started. The younger now knows he's in another tough situation, one he didn't think would happen. Sure, he wanted the affection of his hyungs but something like kissing them wasn't something in mind, more of Wonho's cuddles or Shownu's dad-like care would be something he'd imagine. There was Kihyun's mom-like attitude, but in moments like this, he wasn't sure what it was anymore; not a normal bandmate relationship that's for sure. Changkyun wasn't pulling away though, he wanted affection in the beginning, and this is where it leads him, a small relief coming over him when he knows that there wouldn't be a huge fight. 

Changkyun can feel the delicate lips against his press harder, the last time only being a small graze until Minhyuk walked in and they both stopped at that moment from continuing any further. The feeling was beginning to become addicting, feeling as if Kihyun was okay that Minhyuk kissed the younger and wanted to have a small rivalry with the blonde. Changkyun couldn't help but whine, the thought of that because it was now daylight, any one of the members could begin to wake up from their slumber. Kihyun pulls away just as fast as he started, satisfied.

"Just wanted to finish what I was about to do days ago. But the stupid banana head interrupted us, and then he goes kissing you. I may have to spoil you more with food."

The vocalist smiles and places a mother-like kiss on the top of his head, reassuring the other as no other members saw what had just happened. The rapper bites his lip, touching it after and watching Kihyun get up to go to the kitchen and heat up the food, telling the maknae to go wake up the others. Changkyun sees the shy smile, face flushed as if it looked like he got done with dancing, and he knows his ears are burning red even if he can't see it. He makes his way to their shared room and goes to wake up Jooheon, softly snoring as he shakes him to make him stir. His hyung groans in his sleep shooing him away but Changkyun is persistent, rolling over the other rapper to wake him up. 

"Kyun~. Don't do this to me." 

"Come on hyung. Kihyun is going to place the food on the table. It's going to get cold if we don't hurry." Changkyun sort of lies, knowing that the vocalist is reheating the food. Another protest comes from Jooheon, slowly rising up with his hair a mess and rubbing his eyes. His tank top falls off his shoulder just a little, and he makes his way to move out of the room as he shuffles his feet to possibly the restroom. Changkyun then moves to Minhyuk, the blonde sound asleep and the younger ponders for a while if he should awake the other. The rapper slowly reaches out his hand, shaking the shoulder slightly as a whine emits from the older who turns in his sleep. "Minhyuk-hyung, it's time for you to get up."

In the corner of his eye, he sees Kihyun pass by to possibly waking up Wonho, Shownu, and Hyungwon. His focus comes back to the older in front of him who groans, glaring at the boy. "Give me a few more minutes."

"Hyung. Kihyun wouldn't like that."

"But I'm older than him," Minhyuk says through his pillow, his words slightly muffled. "You can come in here with me and cuddle."

"The food will get cold."

"So will I." Changkyun sighs, bending over and giving Minhyuk a hug as well as a shy kiss on the cheek. The action, although embarrassing, did put a smile on the older as he hugged Changkyun back. "Aw, I'm warm again."  
_

Changkyun sat in the dance room, watching his hyungs dance to their debut song as he wiped off the sweat from their faces or handed them bottles of water when they took breaks. It did put some ease to his heart that while the six were dancing, there was always that empty spot where he would be standing, telling the younger that if he weren't there, the group wouldn't complete. He smiled at everyone's hard work, cheering them on from the side as if he was a parent at a child's game. Seeing the hard work and determination through there eyes, his, however, were always going towards Minhyuk who would occasionally smirk as he sung parts. Changkyun wasn't aware that his vision would sometimes stray to the shorter blonde more often, that was until when Kihyun came up front for his roles, the vocalist would shoot knowing looks at the rapper. The maknae just scratches his head, knowing how the brunette was a starting to become a little closer than usual as if trying to one-up Minhyuk; Wonho just always being cuddling (for now he thinks). Changkyun couldn't help but start to help Kihyun around the house more often when he needed it, and the younger wasn't sure how to think about everything.

The company still hadn't caught the three who tortured him, having the members to view the video later on when everyone is up for it. Nobody wanted to witness such horrific events, especially Jooheon as he encountered them up close, making him have to view the video. It made all the members sick at how the trio had the nerve to show themselves three times, acting as if they never had any ill intentions; but Changkyun knew. 

The music in the dance room faded away, leaving the six standing men to have their breath fill the silence, chests rising rapidly. Staying in the final pose for about ten seconds, they all shout in excitement for another job well done, taking a break as they make their way to the maknae. 

"Good job guys! You're all so cool!" Changkyun clapped with an admiration that sparkles in his eyes. He slowly gets up to wipe the sweat off the leader first, handing everyone water bottles while he's at it. Everyone mentally chuckles at the caring younger who always looks out for his hyungs, and Shownu pats him on the head.

"You're such a great maknae Changkyun." 

Changkyun feels a little embarrassed at the compliment but feels happy that he knows he is loved by everyone now. An arm slings around his shoulders and pulls him to the members who grabbed onto him, the cheeks on his face being squished together. "Yes, our baby Kyun. Such a good boy we have."

"He's not a dog." Hyungwon rolls his eyes but chuckles either way. "I would say that Minhyuk is the dog here. Changkyun is more like a fierce wolf."

"Cute but has a bite." Jooheon nods, staring at the younger as if he was trying to picture the image more.

"I don't have a bite!" 

Kihyun snorts, hand covering his mouth a little. "That worked against you right there." Changkyun whines, stuck in Wonho's grip again and everyone begins to pack up, confusing the youngest. With all the bustle going on, the vocalist notices the maknae looking around in confusion. "We're going to look at the thing. We might as well pull the band-aid off now and get it over with right?"

Changkyun nods, his mood brought down, and he slowly makes his way into Kihyun's arms for comfort. The older held the other close, rubbing his back as the other members begin to take notice. 

“What happened?” Shownu slung the bag over his shoulder, walking closer to the pair. “You're not crying right?”

The younger shakes his head. “He just doesn't want to see the video.”

“Maybe he should instead look at the photos they'll show us. The video is something we all wouldn't want to witness. Just think that once we get this over with, we could find them somehow.”

Changkyun nods as Wonho grabs his things so the younger wouldn't have to carry it. He doesn't want to view the tape, not wanting to relive the moments as well as what they did to him. Every step felt massive when walking to the room, his body starting to shake and sweat. They reached the place where lies the video footage, a moment of weakness and vulnerability that he didn't want to show his hyungs. Changkyun could see Shownu turn the knob, the feeling slow and agonizing as he stares at it. 

Once the door opens, the rapper clutches onto Kihyun’s shirt, almost cowering behind the shorter. For now, the room is empty, and it sort of eases the younger who anticipated for something. Shownu gestures to sit down and the attitude of everyone lowers by the tense atmosphere as the leader calls what could be the manager or the staff. And it doesn't take long before someone comes inside the room after their leader finishes up with the call, and Changkyun could feel Kihyun's grip tighten, and Wonho's start to shake just a little bit. The boys' manager comes in with a small smile to tell them that it's alright, and who comes inside is the CEO, someone that didn't even come into Changkyun's mind. The younger gulped heavily, a hand coming in contact with his thigh to reassure the rapper who also began to shake. A laptop is soon placed onto the table in front of them, and the CEO has a small yet, worried smile on his face as he sits. 

"Well, I'm sure you all know what this small meeting is for, correct?" All seven boys nod and Changkyun, feels himself sinking deeper and deeper into the chair he's in. He doesn't want to be here, but if this can help the bullies get caught in the end, he would sit through this with his hyungs around him. "Excellent. And you aren't in any trouble. The ones who are at fault are these three trainees, and we also have photos of the different ones in this binder here."

"Changkyun doesn't want to view the video but, would it be alright for him to point out to the photos after?" Shownu speaks up, his tone firm and unbothered but the younger knew that deep down, he was breaking. 

"That'll be alright. I understand how it'll feel as if the boy reliving the moment. Are you more comfortable with I.M or Changkyun?"

Changkyun looks up as all the attention is then shifted on him, blinking a little as if the situation he was in wasn't real. "Changkyun is fine."

"Okay. I want you, Changkyun, to look away for this part then alright?" The CEO turns the laptop around after opening the device and logging on, the camera footage of the empty storage room popping up. The maknae holds onto Wonho and plants his face into the older's chest, Kihyun placing a hand on his back. "There is no sound so we wouldn't have to hear anything. It is difficult to watch but, I was notified that you all had at least one or two encounters with them right?"

"Yes, a total of about three encounters. Jooheon and Wonho saw them trying to lure Changkyun with them." Shownu speaks up again, everyone admiring his leadership role. 

The CEO nods, looking towards Wonho first and the black-haired is surprised at first but begins to speak. He rubs the back of Changkyun who is latched onto him, and the younger feels like he almost wants to cry. "Changkyun and I walked out into one of the hallways from recording and Changkyun began crying, and I was trying my best to calm him down. Then these boys came out of nowhere almost, and they tried to like take him away from me. I recall them saying that they would protect him and they were very persistent in trying to lure him somewhere. It was a weird feeling."

"The same thing happened to me, but it was after a little before Wonho's incident," Jooheon speaks up, his voice trembling as he stumbles a little on his words. "We were going to finish up writing the lyrics, and before we went inside our room, they came up to us using the same wording and their vibes really scary."

"I see. So these trainees had a strong ill intention of trying to further bully Changkyun. Now that I know how far these boys are willing to go with the other encounters tells me that these trainees are very bold. Coming up to you guys but they seem to still not show their faces. The boys we believe that are in this video are not found, even their manager isn't aware of their locations." The CEO pushes the laptop closer to the seven boys, and they all try their best to compose themselves. Shownu, who is in the middle of them all looks around and hesitantly reaches to the keyboard to hit the space button. Changkyun shuts his eyes harder into Wonho's chest, his grip tightening as he hears the small noise. 

The video of the storage room is empty until it shows Changkyun coming inside and shuffling around the room in thought, picking up the case and then putting it down to examine the bottles. Already, the members couldn't believe that while they were in the dance room laughing, such events happened not too far from them. They see a door open and the maknae laughing, turning around to see it fade quickly when he makes eye contact with the three. What conspired next was something that nobody could ever want to watch for enjoyment. Minhyuk, Jooheon, and Kihyun begin choking up, and Changkyun could hear their sniffling. The younger takes a little peek as he shuffles against Wonho, seeing how Shownu is the only one who is able to stare it but with a wave of anger, he's never seen before. Under the table, he could see the leader's hand clenched almost to a white as if he was going to stand up and punch the wall; Changkyun wouldn't be surprised. Wonho looked away but eyes watching the video, the hand comforting the younger against his back and holding him tighter. Hyungwon was leaned back against his chair, hand against his mouth and wanting to say something. Minhyuk and Jooheon were the worst ones out of all of them, and Changkyun wished to hug them to see them laugh, the sight wanting to make the rapper stop the video. Kihyun was almost to the point of wanting to leave the room, looking away when he saw the punches and kicks to the poor boy.

Once the video ended, the CEO closes the laptop, and the whole room is dead silent as if the slightest noise would make anyone mad. The CEO then places the binder in front of the seven boys, and Wonho gives Changkyun a small nudge, the younger moving to see that there laid the photos of the three boys, planting his face back on the black-hairs chest. Everyone agrees when seeing the faces matching the boys in the video and from what they remember when they encountered them. The man nods and the band is allowed to leave, everyone not saying one word. Shownu has Minhyuk and Jooheon on either side of him, patting their back as Hyungwon joins in to comfort Minhyuk. Kihyun and Wonho still hold on to the younger, keeping him close to not let him slip from their grip. Changkyun wants to say something, he wants the mood to go up and wants everyone laughing really hard and joking with one another. He hopes that everyone is willing to go do something to take their minds off of the events that had happened, but his voice his caught in his throat. When all seven make it outside, they all form a circle to discuss what to do next, looking at one another to see who will break the silence. What Changkyun doesn't think would happen, is Shownu stepping forward to him and bringing him in for a huge hug, tearing him away from Wonho and Kihyun. The third is Jooheon who throws himself behind the younger and Minhyuk soon joins in less than a heartbeat. Wonho, Kihyun, and Hyungwon join in, and they all stand on the sidewalk in a group hug, making sure that Changkyun doesn't feel lonely.

At that moment, Changkyun begins to cry and hold their leader tighter, hoping that all the pain and suffering he's witnessed would then go away and he could move on with life without having to check over his shoulder. He wants to walk out and not be afraid, not having to be babysat and to roam freely. To stop the cuts in his inner thigh and the bruises that are then healing once more; he wants everything to end. Once the group parts, he doesn't let go of Shownu, slowly parting after ten seconds and the younger looks down at the floor. 

"I have a confession to make..." The words that come out of Changkyun's mouth shocks everyone around him, unknown what is going to come next. "Only Kihyun-hyung knows cause Minhyuk pointed it out on how I was bleeding."

"Kyun..." Kihyun gulps, knowing what the younger is talking about. The mention of blood, however, does begin to worry everyone else.

"I've uhm..." The maknae begins to break down, covering his face as he doesn't want to continue what he's about to say but also doesn't want to mention it any other day. "I have been cutting myself. Like self-harming."

Shownu looks down, eyes saddened and begin to rub Changkyun's shoulder, the younger jumping at the contact. "Kyun, why would you want to do that if you were already hurting?" His tone is soft.

"I still felt like I was worthless. I still felt as if I didn't belong."

"Do you still feel that way now?" Hyungwon questions, making Changkyun's eyes widen and shake his head. 

"No! I just-."

Minhyuk speaks up, a little more clear headed. "You were just feeling at square one?"

Changkyun nods. "I told Kihyun not to tell anyone because I didn't want to draw any more attention and also because I didn't want to make a bigger issue. I'm not doing it anymore but, I still feel the need to do it."

"Is it because they're still out there?" Wonho tilts his head, and the younger nods his head again. 

"Can we go do something fun? I want to see everyone smile again." The request is a little surprising from coming out of nowhere, but all the members have a small smile on their face, nodding their heads.

"Of course Kyun, anything for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read!:
> 
> I hope you all don't mind these kissing scenes. It won't go any further than that but I just wanted to show how three other members show they're affection more to the younger. Sorry for those who are like disgusted or thrown off of the story. I also just want things to flow and also create some plot for future chapters and you'll know when you see it. >~<


	22. Affection, Video Tapes, and Confessions Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER PLEASE READ SORRY:  
> Okay, so as for the relationships, they will just be OT7 lol. I mean it is but I mean the other will be a little more clear too as they seemed to be pushed back by the three current ships. Truthfully, other than Minhyuk and Kihyun's kiss the last chapter of the kiss was unnecessary. The Minhyuk and Kihyun accident, as well as the Minhyuk full kiss, was alright but the last one with Kihyun did turn away from the story a little and with further research (a whole two days worth) I realized I haven't had much Hyungwon when they in real life interact a lot. I'll post two screenshots of my research as a teaser for the next chapters.
> 
> After this story ends, there will be seven extra chapters added. I've had to watch tons and tons of ship videos and Monsta X moments just to make these next chapters realistic, and even though I will use dialogue from the videos, I will put some of my own words so it's not like word for word and also cause copying each word they say will be too much, and some videos you wouldn't know what they are saying like fan taken ones with music over it.

Changkyun laid in Hyungwon's bed and stared up at the ceiling after the long day he's having with all his hyungs, taking a trip to the closest park. Once he laid eyes on the structure, both he and Jooheon began to mad dash over to the slides and swings, ignoring Kihyun's words that were yelled at them. He hasn't been to the park ever since Wonho apologized, but this time he was here for a better reason. Changkyun was with all the members to have a good time, and the first place he heads to is the swings, Jooheon not too far behind and taking the one next to him. Not too long after, Hyungwon surprisingly joins and steals the third swing from Minhyuk who whines in protest. The third youngest laughs and tries his best to use his longs legs to start and swing, having Minhyuk, in the end, to begin pushing him. Changkyun calls out to Shownu to come and push him, and the oldest smiles as he walks over to where everyone is, looking like a dad and it makes the younger giggle. Wonho comes behind Jooheon after the aegyo he pulls out, and the older complies.

The youngest feels the shade above him when Shownu comes up behind him, large gentle hands push against his back softly, and slowly increases his strength. And in no time, the oldest stops and lets Changkyun battle with Jooheon on who can go higher, Hyungwon joining in as well who gains the advantage with his long legs. While the youngest three were swinging, Minhyuk slowly came behind Kihyun and smacked him on the back of the head, causing the shorter to drop everything into Shownu's arms to go and chase the mischievous blonde. Not wanting to be the only man standing, their leader drops everything onto the floor and joins in with Kihyun and Minhyuk, wanting revenge for the times Kihyun hit him with the spoon; even though it was an accident. Wonho laughs at the trio now chasing one another, sitting at the jungle gym. Although they were grown men, they all still wanted to have fun as most of their childhood was training and stressing about wanting to become a singer. Kihyun comes up behind the black-haired and ducks behind him, using him as a shield when Minhyuk climbs his way up the structure. 

When Hyungwon wins the battle, the trio on the swings stops as fits of laughter still escape them. Changkyun jumps off his seat when feels hands come up behind him, the voice of Wonho laughing and the younger turns to smack him on the arm. While he stands up, the older uses his knees to hit the back of Changkyun's knee, causing him to slowly fall into the sand and then struggles to get up. At that moment, he begins to chase Wonho who heads straight to the structure again, running up the stairs to go down the slide. The younger turns back around and crosses the bridge to climb down the curve ladder, chasing Wonho around the jungle gym who hides behind plastic walls. Before Changkyun could attack as the black-haired begins to make a run for it again, he bumps into Kihyun in his movement, still chasing Minhyuk. Kihyun smacks the younger in the shoulder as he lost the distance between the blonde, and the rapper laughs as he hits his hyung back; which wasn't a good idea. The main vocalist then focuses on Changkyun, chasing him as he runs away to go hopefully spot Minhyuk. 

Changkyun hears the others feet against the sand, as well as the heavy breathing. The younger tries to pick up his speed and curves to where the plastic wall is, soon being pulled down by somebody and the rapper watches as Kihyun didn't notice a thing. He soon turns to whoever grabbed him, revealing Hyungwon who leaned against the structure with a sleepy face. Changkyun throws his arms around the taller as a thank you, letting him breathe as he hears the other members laughing and yelling. The noises make him smile, the pair under the shade and seeing the running of feet. No words were exchanged, but it was getting extremely hot and causing him to sweat profusely, nearing the summer which was next month. Changkyun leans his head against Hyungwon and plays with the sand, making a small hill and the blonde silently watch. 

"Oh~ what's going on here?" Minhyuk randomly pokes his head, and it makes the pair jump. Just before he could say anything else, the smaller blonde is wrestled from behind onto the floor by Kihyun. A little yelp escapes his mouth and a complaint of getting sand in his clothing.

“Changkyun!” Kihyun yells next and the younger hides behind Hyungwon to protect himself. “Don't think that I forgot about you hitting me!”

A little yelp comes from the maknae, and the poor blonde is afraid of getting attacked. “Don't come at me hyung. Changkyun is the one you want.”

“Hyungwon!”

Kihyun tries to grab the rapper, only to be lifted up by two strong arms, feet kicking and being taken away. Changkyun laughs, his arms still around the taller blonde. Minhyuk is still laying on the floor as heat overcomes his body, and soon rolls to the shade where the pair sit. Jooheon then pops out and comes inside, grabbing onto Hyungwon’s arm. 

“Let's go to the slides!”

“Jooheon, it's hot.”

Changkyun on the hand races out of the shade to beat the other rapper to the slides first. Jooheon follows quickly behind to try and catch up, the pair pushing each other away from the entrance to try and get onto the playground structure first. The younger laughing evilly as he successfully makes it on the stairs. He sees the other pout, but it quickly fades as he followers the younger. They both make it to the slide, and the older goes first to sit down, Changkyun coming up behind him to hear a small shriek from his hyung. Jooheon hits the other's leg who chuckles and pushes the older down the slide. He hears the other shout the younger’s name and Changkyun couldn't help but laugh. 

His happiness is short-lived when someone grabs him by the waist from behind. Changkyun could recognize the laughter of Wonho, a tight grip as the younger kicks his feet when slowly lifted. A small yelp emitting from the maknae. He now knows that the strong person who lifted Kihyun was Wonho.

"Okay Kyun! Ready! Set! Go!" Wonho pushes Changkyun down the slide, the boy laughing when he reaches the end of the slide where Hyungwon now stands. 

"Geez Wonho, still be careful of our recovering maknae." Kihyun protests, water bottle in his hand. Hyungwon hands one to the younger, already dripping from the hot weather that started to occur. 

“Says the one who was chasing him,” Minhyuk says back and earns a glare, as well as a hand being raised.

"I didn't think it would be this hot. I think I'm losing weight by how much I'm sweating." A whine comes from Hyungwon who gulps down half the bottle. "We might need to buy more..."

"We can go to a cafe or something and get some cool drinks and some ice cream." Shownu smiles, sweating as well from all the running.

Changkyun hears a scream from behind him, soon getting hit behind by Wonho's legs when he comes down the slide. "Ice cream!" Hands come around the younger’s waist, Wonho trying to annoy the other and puckering his lips against his ear, leaving a small kiss which makes the maknae groan.

"Okay then, change of plans. Since it's getting hot, we can cool down in a nice place with air conditioning." Shownu smiles and everyone begins to stand and go to the nearest shop, grabbing their dropped items. Changkyun leaned to the closest member near him, that of being Shownu. 

The younger whines at the hot temperature around them, the shirt sticking to his skin. Shownu laughs and pats his shoulder, telling him how they will make it there in a little bit. Changkyun was happy to see everyone laughing and smiling with him, moving on from the events that happened. He wishes to have more moments like this and loves his hyungs. When all six make it inside a shaved ice shop, the cold air conditioning hits then hard and makes all of them exhale in relief, smiling and closing their eyes at the satisfying feeling. The dad of the group stands while everyone takes a seat. 

"So, what do you all want?"

"Strawberry!"

"Pineapple!" 

"Peach!"

Shownu waves his hands in front of him at all the responses he gets, looking as if he zapped into another dimension. "Woah, calm down everyone. I need like how much you all want instead of just the flavors."

The six laugh and nod their heads, everyone turning their head to the maknae first. "I'll have strawberry."

Hyungwon and Jooheon raise their hands as well, wanting the same flavor. Changkyun giggles and bring his closer in age hyungs closer to him in a hug. Wonho asks for Pineapple, leaving Kihyun and Minhyuk wanting the peach flavor. Shownu nods as he tries his best to take in all the information, making a funny face as he heads to the register. The members chat about debut that's coming up and talking about all the shows they will be on and even thinking about concerts to be in. The talk gets everyone excited on the topic of having a concert, getting on a topic of lightsticks and thinking about all the fans that will arrive. Not too long after, Shownu comes back with a tray and hands everyone their shaved ice, all six grabbing the air in desperation. Changkyun scoops a spoonful into his mouth and feeling the cold flavored ice melt in his mouth, a big smile on his face. 

"Even though I said we would go for ice cream, I think this is better, and it was much closer," Shownu mentions, and everyone just nods, too engrossed in consuming their shaved ice. "I don't want to go back outside. It's so hot."

"What flavor did you get hyung?" Changkyun questions and Shownu takes a scoop, feeding it to the younger. His eyes light up, liking the flavor that melts in his mouth.

"It's blue raspberry."

Wonho smiles as he gives some of his to the maknae who is letting their leader try his flavor. Even though strawberry was a common flavor that is widely chosen, the younger didn't want to not give him anything back. Changkyun tries the pineapple, never knowing he would actually like the flavor, and Kihyun does the same with his peach one. 

"Wow, these are all so good!" The members laugh at their maknae smiling and giggling, a warmth growing in everyone as the sadness from before was washed away. “We should next time get a huge one with the flavors.”

When the group finishes, they all head back to the dorm with satisfied smiles as they chat away. Changkyun, who giggles in Hyungwon's bed at the thoughts of earlier today, catches the attention of the taller blonde who begins to step up the ladder. He smiles at the younger, taking his spot in the bed and handing him a bottle of water ahead of time; avoiding waking up later. "What are you giggling about kid?"

"Just earlier today." 

"Ah, that was fun but super hot." Changkyun thanks his hyung for the cool beverage, snuggling up to him when he lays down on the mattress. Although the younger was having fun, he still was worried about the three trainees that could still be lurking, wondering what they could be up to. He wonders if they'll ever get caught, a whine emitting from him and cuddling a little closer to Hyungwon in fear, not wishing for that to happen. "What wrong? Stomach ache? Is it the bruises?"

The rapper shakes his head. "Do you think they'll ever get caught? Like, are they still around the building or do you think that they just left and split up?"

"They'll get what they deserve. Even if those boys also had a chance of going to another company, I'm sure the people there will contact their previous companies, and it wouldn't be good."

"But, what if they lied about that?" 

"Doubt it. The companies would still have to contact them, and if they find out they never were there, then they'll be caught as liers too." Hyungwon smiles, patting Changkyun's head. Their interactions were always awkward, but the pair knew that it would be more comfortable as time went on, truly enjoying one's company in the end. "I say don't think about it much. Don't let it eat you alive." 

"Thanks, hyung, I just don't like looking behind myself all the time."

Hyungwon smiles at the cuteness, holding the younger boy closer (even if that was possible) by wrapping his arms around him, and Changkyun whines as he kicks off the blanket. It wasn't a good idea to start and cuddle, especially with sheets that were very thick and how hot it was. The nights now were pretty warm, letting all the other sleep in either just their boxers or sometimes nothing at all. He did like to cuddle but didn't want to wake in a puddle of his and Hyungwon's sweat. The body heat from both of them was just subtle enough. 

"Are you alright? I can go fetch you a wet cloth if it's that hot or something cold that will cool you down."

Changkyun nods, taking up the offer and Hyungwon climbs off the bed to go get whatever items. He hears shuffling in the kitchen and Hyungwon comes back inside not too long with a smile on his face. He places the damp cloth on the younger's face, dabbing it gently against his skin to cool him off. The younger shivers when the fabric touches his neck and collarbones but the sensation feels tremendous, so he doesn't complain. He sighs and the blonde shifts into his spot against with arms out, and Changkyun doesn't think twice to scoot closer to his hyung. The older laughs and then continues to wipe away any sweat and rubs the damp cloth against his forehead, hoping that Changkyun doesn't get overheated; taking a mental note to tell Kihyun about turning on the air conditioning.  
_

"Whatchu got there?" Wonho looks over to Changkyun who hides whatever is in his hands. It wasn't anything bad but, Changkyun wanted his gift to be a surprise for all his hyungs. He was still getting his ideas down on the paper, unsure what to still really do for his favorite people. The older tilts his head and lets out a chuckle, coming closer to what he was doing, and Changkyun turned his body away with a pout. "Okay, what's going on?"

"Nothing hyung. It's not much."

"If it isn't anything then can I see it?" Changkyun shakes his head. "Aw Kyun, I wanna see~." 

Wonho whines and wraps his arms around the smaller who is now stuck in the grip of the black-haired. Changkyun wasn't doing do go down quickly, clutching the notebook close to his chest as he tries his best to wiggle out. All the times the younger was in this situation; however, the outcome wasn't so lucky. In the end, Changkyun did laugh as well as Wonho, knowing that it was just harmless playing. The pair were both in the room that the younger shares with Kihyun, Jooheon, and Minhyuk, the place empty as the members did their own things around the dorm. Jooheon was listening to music in the living room thinking of some lyrics while Minhyuk and Hyungwon watched the television. Kihyun was around cleaning as usual and ordering a few members around, and Shownu was in the other shared room relaxing, possibly on his phone now. And here was Wonho, trying to see what the maknae was hiding. 

Their positions switch, both now facing one another and pulling on the notebook that hopefully wouldn't tear in half. Wonho uses this moment to try and peak at the words written until Changkyun shakes it up and down, the older unable to read anything. Wonho gives the other a shocked look who laughs in return. With a pout, Wonho pulls hard suddenly, causing the brunette to fall forward with his hand still on the notebook. 

"Kyun! This seems more than just nothing!" 

"Hyung~, let go."

"Just a small peek." Changkyun shook his head. Before any other words could come out of any one of them, Kihyun comes inside the room, eyes widening at the pair. 

"What a mess! I hope you better clean up the beds! And Wonho, you need to clean up the mess you did in the living room." A whine leaves from Wonho, even though being older than Kihyun and he lets go of Changkyun's notebook, making his way down the bunk and leaves the room. Kihyun nods and continues his way down the hallway with his broom and scoop, not saying another word and the younger sighs in relief. 

Later on the day, Changkyun goes up to Shownu who is still in the room on his phone and asks if they could have dance practice as he feels much better, and although hesitant, he agrees and says to take it smooth and slow today. As soon as Hyungwon comes inside the shared room, the blonde sees the younger whisper something in their leader's ear, unsure if it was only between them or if it was something terrible; worry coming over the taller. The look on Shownu's face is a concern to Hyungwon, as well as Changkyun and says he'll think about it. When the younger nods and makes his way out of the room, Hyungwon follows and leaves whatever he was going to do away; it wasn't important now. Before Changkyun can make it to the bathroom, the blonde stops him.

"Is everything alright kid?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Well, I don't mean to pry but, you whispered something to Shownu, and the look on his face was worrying. I just got a bit uneasy."

Changkyun scratches the back of his head and chuckles a little. "Oh, well, I guess I could tell you since everyone will be involved. What I was saying to Shownu is that...  
_

Changkyun sits down in the dance room and lays against the wall, Jooheon following him and wiping away his sweat, making the younger smile. He does the same to his hyung, and the older smiles, showing his dimples. Changkyun ended up telling everyone else of his plan, all hesitant but, if done correctly then everything will fall into place. Everyone was a little unsure about how risky the situation was, and they tried to make the best of it with laughter and jokes.

"Are you sure about this Kyun?" Minhyuk asks after taking a swig of water. He sits next to the younger and pats his head to ease any nerve in his body. 

Changkyun nods, a string of confidence building up within him. "I just want all of us to be happy and not afraid. And if anything happened to you guys, I would feel so guilty..." The courage he had within him fades quickly as it came at the thought and begin to sob, trying to wipe his eyes. "You all are really precious to me."

All the members coo, Jooheon and Minhyuk (the closest) wrapping their arms around the younger to console him. Wonho, the big softie, almost throws himself into the bunch, kissing Changkyun's cheek and the younger groans between his sobs. The others stand as a small smile plays on their lips, checking the clock as they sigh, knowing what was going to happen in the amount of time they had. Kihyun looked at Shownu, his eyes telling the older if it was too late to go back and just change everything. The leader put a hand on the other's shoulder, and Hyungwon begins to worry himself, getting a little impatient. 

When Changkyun is free from all the love Jooheon, Wonho, and Minhyuk are giving him, it's time that they clean up and begin to head out. They walk down the hallway with everything packed up, Wonho not letting the youngest carry anything and gives him a smile so that the younger doesn't protest. A sigh leaves his lips but smiles as he knows the black-haired is looking out for him and starts to lean against Wonho and after a few steps, Changkyun stops in his tracks. He tells his hyungs that he needs to use the restroom, their faces turning stern and after a few seconds pass by, all six nod their heads. Changkyun tells himself that now is the time and makes his way to the restroom, floods of memories flash into his mind. But this is the moment where if everything falls into place, he could focus on things more important.

His movements are slow, ears on high alert as he looks around the halls for anything around him. Changkyun knows that the longer he lingers, there's a chance they will see it's the perfect opportunity. The only thing he worries about is that unless he gets the signal, he can quicken his steps just a bit more, not wanting to stray out for too long. The younger does feel a little uncomfortable, the more he draws nearer to the men's room. A small vibration comes from his pant pockets, and he picks up the pace as he lets the worry fill his body.

Just before he heads into the bathroom, he feels a strong force up against his shoulder, and he stumbles forward, using his hands to stop himself as they touch the wall. Just as he suspected, the three boys come back for possibly the last time, and he hopes it stays like that. 

"Still roaming around by yourself huh?" A smirk forms on his lips but then fades. "We got found out by you. I would hate to leave because we won't have any more fun."

Changkyun finds himself smiling back this time, causing the three to tilt their head at the younger's next words. "Well, it'll be fun for me this time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is a sneak peak of the content and I don't know if it works lol.
> 
> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yBt1WmwgvhgHDbfckiPi0jDWvBk_SPQ5_YABMyst4fY/edit?usp=sharing


	23. Caught, Celebration and Debut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I finished this and now is the progression of each members chapter! Jooheon will be first and then it'll go from that order ending with Monsta X moments. Most of these will be very familiar and it's Chagkyun with a certain member and their connection over the years and how each hyung treats him. I really hope you liked this story and thank you for hanging in there through the changes and experiments I've done here. I've never written anything like this so it was a learning experience haha. I'll reply to comments later as I hate a mini headache from staying up so late opps haha.

The three boys tilt their heads but dismiss the words of Changkyun, stepping forward and grabbing the youngers shirt with force. One of them taking out their phone, talking about how to worsen the beating. Changkyun gulps slightly, looking at the bullies and hoping that it wouldn't go too far. As one of them raises an arm, one of the stalls open to reveal Wonho with a phone in his hands, an evil smile on his face as he leans against the stall door. The boys let go quickly, shocked at the sudden appearance and how big the older is. Changkyun takes this chance to run to where his hyung is, another stall opening as Minhyuk pops out with a playful smile. Nobody saw that they were there, crotched up on the seats so the three bullies wouldn't see under the stall opening.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. You thought you'd get away with it one more time, didn't you? This time you're not so lucky." The boys gulp, trying to leave through the entrance when Shownu and Kihyun appear just when the doors open. Their eyes filled with hatred as they stared hard and through the bullies who were now cornered. Right behind the pair was the boy's manager, along with Monsta X's and the CEO, the situation wasn't looking suitable for any of the three boys, the trio giving up and accepting the fact that they were caught this time. Changkyun's plan of luring them worked and the members came at a perfect time before any real damage could happen. 

Having Minhyuk and Wonho take the other way to make it to the restroom, the younger taking the opposite direction so that the trio can follow him to the bathrooms. The younger knew was being pursued after a while, even though the footsteps weren't loud, they could still be heard. After he entered the bathroom, he counted on the pair to then text Kihyun and Shownu to follow behind after the bathroom door closed, waiting outside just in case they escaped when Minhyuk ad Wonho pop out. And even though it was Changkyun's plan, he didn't want to be the bait, but he had no choice; hence where the others seemed hesitant. Hyungwon and Jooheon were directed to go get the CEO, managers and security guards; the guards not here just yet.

"You really think this is going to make you guys idols?" The CEO said with his arms folded. "You will not be allowed to debut. In fact, I will put this on your record if any other companies try to recruit any of you three. Security is coming soon so after you pack up your things, you will be escorted out and to never step a foot in here again."

The trio curse under their breath, knuckles white from all the anger that is holding up within them. The trio's manager had nothing to say, disappointed at their actions as the contracts he has in his hands are torn up right in their faces. Changkyun scoots closer to Minhyuk, Wonho smiling as he whispers how with the evidence they have, they can possibly send it to police too. Kihyun and Shownu don't say anything, glaring the boys for a long time. It takes a few seconds for the one to speak, catching the attention of everyone. 

"As the leader of Monsta X, I hope you never get to debut. Hurting a person just to think that it will solve all your problems because you didn't get what you wanted. You hurt a person who was already in pain, and here you are making him feel like he doesn't deserve to live. To think this would happen to one of our own is disgusted, and I think you shouldn't achieve your passion for singing anymore if this is how you guys act to other trainees or idols. You hurt someone we really care about, and I won't forgive you for that."

"I hope you know how at fault you are. Thinking to show up in front of us and mock at us, trying to take our Changkyun away too. You almost killed him, and here you are with nothing to say; not even a sorry." The brunette almost tears up, voice breaking a little but still keeps his strong composure.

Changkyun has never seen such anger from Kihyun and Shownu, genuinely terrifying as they stared at the boys. Wonho steps closer to them, scaring the trio a little as they turn around, the black-hairs muscular build making them sweat. "Never again will you lay a hand on our Changkyun."

Hearing the words of saying how Changkyun was theirs warmed the youngers heart, wanting to cry as they see him as part of their group and family. Something he's always wanted and the grip on Minhyuk's shirt (something he didn't know he was doing) tighten and scoot closer to the older. The blonde notices this and smiles softly, grabbing Changkyun's hand to soothe him and get his mind off the situation a little. Kihyun and Shownu open the entrance as the bullies slowly make their way out and into the hallway, security guards coming with Hyungwon and Jooheon right in front of them. Changkyun, Wonho, and Minhyuk cautiously make their way out afterward, and group with Shownu and Kihyun who stare at the scene.

"I have nothing to say for you boys. You should feel guilty because of what you've done." Their manager leaves and the two out of the three boys start to cry. 

At that moment, they start to blame one another for who did the most damage, only to be silenced by the CEO. Hyungwon and Jooheon are the last members to come, the CEO taking care of the situation as he talks to the security guard. Monsta X's manager ushers the boys away from the scene as it gets taken care of, talking to Shownu and Changkyun stays standing for a little while to see that everything was now being put to an end. A sigh of relief emits from him as he looks on at the scene, not having to look behind him anymore. With all the members loving him dearly and supporting him, the hateful voices gone, and no more cutting himself to try to ignore the other pain on his body, he can finally rest easy. Kihyun and Hyungwon stop to touch the younger's shoulder, jolting him from his thoughts. 

They smile at him as they seem to know what he is thinking, and Changkyun smiles back, making eye contact with one of the boys who've hurt him one last time. This time, he didn't let the others win; instead, he took control an stepped his foot down. Something he's always wished to do, and today he was able to achieve that with the support and trust of his hyungs.

"You tricked us you asshole! You set this up, and you planned this! It's all your fault!" A shout makes everyone turn to see one of the boys charging at Changkyun. Before the security guards reach the boy at the sudden attack, everything happens so fast for anyone to comprehend. Kihyun yells for the younger to look out and moves to shield him, Hyungwon grabbing Changkyun by the waist to pull him away all in one motion. The blonde had a grip on Changkyun's hips, and the main vocalist held on to the maknae, his arms trying to wrap around Changkyun's shoulders. Just as Kihyun fully had his arms around the younger his back was exposed, and a punch comes in contact with his shoulder. He drops to the floor, pulling Hyungwon and Changkyun down with him, holding the area, groaning a little and eyes shut. 

"Kihyun!" The oldest three turn in shock. 

"Hyung!" The youngest three scream out, Jooheon dashing to the aid of the brunette and shoving the bully away before more damage could be done. The guards grab hold of the trainee who then starts to scream, and the manager quickly tries to get all boys out of the building. Kihyun, holding his shoulder waves it off and tells everyone to just go to the van, making everyone worried about his well being and if he needs immediate care. Hyungwon, Jooheon, and Changkyun lift up the vocalist, heading to the car as fast as they could. Pushing the button on the elevator rapidly until it opened, hitting the first floor as the wait seemed agonizing. 

Once out of the building, everyone is then almost shoved into the car randomly, the doors quickly closing and the van took off. Changkyun and Hyungwon turn their attention to Kihyun who is in the middle of them, hoping that he isn't in a condition where he needs to go to the hospital. The youngest pulls down the sleeve a little to examine the spot through the older's protests and the blonde silences his by covering his mouth. The area was slowly becoming bruised, a pain of guilt washing through Changkyun as he doesn't know what to do except for wrapping an arm around the vocalist in a hug. 

A member got hurt while they were protecting him as if the trio wanted to put salt in the wounds to do some last damage. Changkyun felt so angry and sad, he wanted to go back and show them a piece of their mind. 

"I'm sorry you got hurt hyung..."  
_

The group arrived in the dorm, and Shownu talked with their manager outside, Jooheon running to the kitchen to get some ice as Hyungwon and Changkyun sat the main vocalist down. Wonho went into one of the rooms with Minhyuk, coming back with a blanket and pillow for Kihyun. The brunette laughs at how over-dramatic everyone is being, nobody listening to him talk (even though some members do that anyway). Changkyun lowered Kihyun's shirt for Jooheon to place some ice on the vocalist's shoulder, the older jumping at the cold against his skin. Probably thinking it's the only time that everyone will pamper Kihyun, he just sits back and lets the others take care of him.

"Well, at least we can now focus on our debut, right?" Kihyun smiles, and Shownu comes inside the dorm. Everyone's attention is turned towards the leader, wondering what he had to say. 

"Manager said he'll contact the CEO to see how everything went. We can just calm down for two days, and it doesn't seem fun but, Changkyun will need to go for a check-up at the doctor tomorrow before we can continue practicing. In eight days, however, the teaser will go up for the world to see, so that's some good news."

At those words, the mood in the room instantly raised to the roof as the excitement comes from all the members, happiness plastered on their faces. They hadn't realized that it was the last day of the month leaving not much time left for their debut; a moment that they've been waiting for and worked hard to achieve. Everyone stood up (Kihyun taking it easy), embracing one another and laughing, some small tears spilling in the process. Everything was now over, no more bullies and no more hate was dropped on Changkyun. Everything indeed was falling into place, and the younger felt as if he could finally breathe, a heavy weight lifting from his chest.

The members make some plans to have dinner after the release of the teaser and of course after the debut. For now, they would just heal and take in everything, also moving one step at a time. While everyone parted, Kihyun ordered Chnagkyun to chop some vegetables in the meantime, sitting back down on the couch as his arm healed just a little longer; only getting a bruise. The younger nodded as the older pretty much had one functioning arm at the moment. Jooheon ran to get his notebook to write more lyrics now that he's almost been recharged, and Wonho getting his laptop to think of some beats. Shownu, Hyungwon, and Minhyuk decide to watch a film, discussing what to do and what is needed to prepare for their debut stage.  
_

The next day, after Changkyun's visit to the doctor, he was able to go back and practice to see that there was no more internal bleeding as the area was fully healed. Relief coming over everyone, the members slowly ease their way back into practicing and get ready for the final day to come. The trio of boys had left out by the end last night, and Changkyun could be able to walk around freely to use the restroom or get some water. The CEO made it official that the boys wouldn't be let in ever again, as well as notifying other companies of their wrongdoing, even putting it down on their record. By the acceptance of Kihyun and Shownu, Changkyun was allowed to be on social media as the comments of hate would be gone and it wouldn't hurt the maknae anymore. The younger felt like a kid when they allowed him to use social media again, understanding their worry.

Seven days had passed quicker than any of them could have suspected, still practicing hard with dancing as well as their singing and rapping parts. With the teaser up for everyone to see, it was after dancing to the song that their manager stepped inside to notify them. All seven rushed to the laptop that sat in the corner of the room, Shownu quickly going onto the company's channel and seeing their video the most recent one. Jooheon stopped the music and ran to the group, looking over Shownu's shoulder after squeezing himself through Wonho and Hyungwon. Clicking on the video, Minhyuk and Changkyun yelped loudly and away from the screen, peeking back to see themselves on the screen. Kihyun covered his mouth in some kind of embarrassment and Wonho, Hyungwon and Jooheon all cuddling one another as they shout; the leader being the calmest one and smiling wide. Hearing the music playing made everyone excited, hearing their voices and seeing themselves act making all the members twist their body and laugh. The boys celebrate with dinner and laugh the night away, all the members happy to see him interactive and vibrant as the issues pass by them.

After the next seven days of more practice and hard work, their debut date had arrived, the music video uploaded and getting ready for the stage. They for sure broke the replay button, looking in awe and pointing out to things they didn't see the first or second time playing the video. Reading the comments from anticipating people, made everyone work harder until the time they would need to go on.; practicing with the backup dancers. As soon as it was time to go on, Changkyun and the others dressed into their outfits from the music video and got their mics adjusted. After hair and makeup, the members wait backstage until everything is ready and they all try to control the urge to peek out. Although the stage performances for No Mercy were nerve-wracking and scary, this stage was getting everyone jumpy. Changkyun and Hyungwon had to stop Jooheon from drinking so much water he was so nervous. But, the smiles of everyone never wiped off and too excited for what was to come, hearing the crowd out front made them scared too. Backstage, Shownu calls all the others for a small meeting before they go up, forming a little circle as they hear what their leader has to say. 

"As Hyunwoo, also known as Shownu of Monsta X," The members laugh at the introduction, the sentence calming most of the jumping crickets in everyone's stomachs. "This is the day where we show them what we got and what we've prepared for. We've worked so hard for this moment and waited so long for this too, and here we are. Our dreams have finally come through, and here we are living it. I do appreciate through all the hardships how we were able to make it this far. I wouldn't have done this all by myself, and I'm glad we're a team. I thank you all for hanging in there and making this day come true."

"Shownu please don't make us cry just before we go on stage!" Minhyuk whines, throwing his arms around their glossy and glowing leader. 

The members laugh, and Changkyun begins to speak up, everyone turning their heads to their maknae. "Uhm, I want to thank all of you for accepting me and supporting me. It was rough but, I'm thrilled to be here standing with all six of you here today as I honestly didn't think we would come to this point. I'm sure we'll have even better moments for us in the future and hop over all the obstacles. I love you all hyungs."

"Aw, Changkyun!" Wonho holds his cheeks and wraps his arms around Changkyun, all the other cooing and moving towards the younger to hug him. This time, he doesn't groan or whine at the affection, a tooth-filled grin as he tries his best to move his arms and hug as many members as he can. They soon get called, everyone smiling as they pat one another on the back and start to exit as they start to take their places on stage. In the short amount of time that they have left, Changkyun calls out to Shownu, making the older turn around in confusion as they were the only ones left. "I want to thank you the most hyung. I know I've told you this a lot but, I'm really and truly grateful for being there from the start. I honestly wouldn't know what I would do if I didn't have your support, and I probably wouldn't be here as I possibly would have taken another route, whatever that may be. Even though you say I worked hard too, I want you to know how much you've made me so happy with everyone else. I really love you hyung for your support, hard work and belief in me."

"Changkyun..." Shownu smiles, placing an arm around the younger and making their way on stage. "I love you too. I want you to know how strong you are alright? To know that you will always push through any obstacle, and we will always be there to support you, and if you need anyone to turn to, you have each and every one of the members to help you along the way."

The final two make it on the stage, getting into places as today's dance wouldn't be for practice but, the real thing. It took a while for Changkyun to get to this place, he's just happy to be sharing the moment with his hyungs who love and support him. The familiar beat starts, and this time, Changkyun can dance with no worries filling his mind.


	24. Extra: Jooheon to Changkyun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moments of Changkyun and Jooheon over the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLZ READ SORRY FOR THE DELAY!:
> 
> HOLY CRAP THIS STORY ISN'T DEAD! After 13/14 days it's finally updated! I've had many problems at home and then also these had to take lots of research AND they are pretty long. This chapter is the longest out of all and the next 7 haven't been started! 
> 
> This just shows how Changkyun's relationship with each member changes and what moments felt like are important to Chnagkyun and how he feels brings them closer. 
> 
> Next up is Hyungwon so expect these to be 7,000 to possibly 9,000 words. (The longest one with my research seems to be Wonho, Hyungwon, and Kihyun (and of course them as a group) because I found most of those moments online). A lot of these you can possibly remember, some eras/comebacks are shorter because there weren't many moments seen online so I also made it slightly apparent here too. 
> 
> SORRY FOR MISTAKES THIS IS SO OVERDUE AND IT'S 3 AM I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE UP ACTUALLY CAUSE I HAVE TO GET EARLY OPPS.
> 
> The longest one will be the Monsta X which is the final one.

After debut, all the members came down from their high of excitement, celebrating like planned and having their manager tag along as well. After performing for other shows and also dancing to No Exit, the boys were happy either way with their fans that love them so dearly already. Changkyun spent even more time with his members, trying to break out of his shy shell and trying to be more open towards everyone. He wanted to be slightly like Minhyuk, never really giving a second thought about cuddling or kissing any of the members, he was just everyone's mood maker, and Changkyun wanted to have that courage. Other than Wonho and Minhyuk, Jooheon being really affectionate to the maknae (even though everyone pretty much was).

Jooheon to Changkyun was like another brother, almost always around one another whether it was goofing off or writing lyrics to nothing at all, they were always hanging out with each other more than before, and Changkyun was happy. Because of No Mercy, some were still skeptical about their relationship after debut, wondering how big their bond was, mainly since they were both rappers. When it was Monsta X's first fansign, Changkyun had just been standing awkwardly as he was still a little nervous about eyes on him. It was after signing albums and interacting with fans was where the members were kind of standing around and talking here and there. Some fans were calling his name which made him feel happy inside, smiling and covering his mouth as he looked away. Jooheon slowly came from behind and wrapped his arms around him, making the younger jump slightly but smile afterward. A small toothless grin reached his lips, making sure not to have any eye contact with any fans as the public affection made him extremely nervous. Jooheon leaned his chin against Changkyun's shoulder, the younger leaning back and Jooheon swayed them side to side. 

When the movement stopped, they retorted back to their original position of just hugging and standing. Changkyun slightly turned his head when Jooheon opened his mouth. "Are you feeling alright Kyun?" The nickname was used so much around the dorm that the younger never had a second thought about it. Even before debut, he hadn't realized when the name had started.

"I'm alright hyung, you worry about me too much." Changkyun releases from the grip to stare at his hyung, laughing a little. Jooheon just smiled and chuckled, grabbing the other's waist and pulling him again for another back hug, swaying their body together. He was grateful that Jooheon was willing to be affectionate with him in front of everyone, being able to not worry what others think. 

Still promoting Trespass for a little longer, Monsta X still was filming episode three with Deokspatch. After the tenth episode for No Mercy, it was now with Monsta X, starting all over with just the seven of them and hoping for happy moments. They were split into two teams of Wonho, Hyungwon, Minhyuk, and Changkyun, as the others were a separate team, answering trivia questions to get the plate of food they wanted. After that was over, they happily ate and even shared some food with one another despite being on separate teams. Changkyun and all the other members changed into more comfortable clothing of pajama pants and shirts with their name and band name. After eating food, everyone was a bit tired, and the staff threw all of them some blankets and yoga mats for the next mission. 

"Who has the worst sleeping habit?" The woman staff questioned, and everyone pointed to Shownu while yelling out his name. 

"Shownu and Minhyuk sleep with their eyes open," Kihyun mentioned as he was sitting down and Wonho begins to jump in as well. 

"If they look at each other while sleeping, it's like they're on a staring contest." Everyone laughed, and the members place all the mats and blankets on the floor, organizing it so all of them could fit and sleep comfortably. Changkyun wasn't a very heavy sleeper, in fact, anything could wake him up from feet moving against the ground or doors opening. Something he wasn't very fond of but, slowly he got used to the member's snoring or odd sleeping habits to Jooheon snoring from Kihyun and Minhyuk conversing with one another in their sleep. Once everyone was comfortable, they lay down to rest for one hour before needing to wake up. The youngest couldn't help but laugh when he sees Jooheon and Shownu staring at one another before all the lights shut off. 

To be honest, it was a little hard for Changkyun to fall asleep, turning in his blanket to find the right position to sleep (the mat not the most gentle feeling against im) and eventually falls asleep through the snores of his hyungs. Feeling as if his sleep wasn't satisfied, after the hour is up, a blaring sound boom through the walls of the room. Everyone wakes up, Wonho throwing the blanket off of himself as he looks around with sleepy eyes, the sound of a siren wasn't anything to sleep through. Changkyun lifts up his head in annoyance, throwing it back on the pillow and soon sits up when he sees Wonho do it first beside him. 

One by one the members get up soon, scratching their heads as they try to make out their surroundings. Their mission was to dance to their song, and if one of them gets it wrong, they will be out. The last one standing by the end would get a fantastic present, but in their dazed state, the prize was the last thing to think about. Not even bothering to pick up the bedding, everyone but sleepy Shownu get up to dance, all the member's movements slow and no effort. From the start, their leader is already out who does not even move, too tired to give it his all and deciding the prize isn't that worth it. Hyungwon and Minhyuk were immediately out as well, dazed and confused on what was still going and they both give up as they sit on the couch behind everyone. Kihyun seems to just get himself out by sitting down, and it leaves only Wonho, Jooheon and Changkyun left. And with the remaining three, the main vocalist moves the bedding away for them to dance and not trip on any blankets or pillows. The next one out is Wonho, not forming the line as he stands next to Changkyun and then goes to sit down on the couch next to Minhyuk and Hyungwon, only able to fit himself on the one seater sofa. 

By the time the last two standing reach Changkyun's rap, the youngest pair were now wide awake and dancing to the last few minutes of the song, the members still seeming a little dazed but more aware than before. Wonho laughs as he comments how perfect they are and soon, Jooheon and Changkyun finish the dance without a mistake. The woman mentions how they both win, the pair giving each other a hug and a pat on the back.

"Please give us the present." They both say in unison, and the woman replies back to question what they think it is. They don't really know what to say except for what they were told. They knew it was big, but they didn't want their guess to be too outlandish. 

"I heard you spent all the money..." Changkyun words out hesitantly, and Minhyuk speaks up, making the younger think he was asleep after getting out. 

"Like the spin dryer."

The woman hands out a postcard to Jooheon, and Changkyun stays behind, wondering what the other is doing by taking so long. The oldest of the pair grab it with a surprised expression, looking down as if they were actually giving it to him. The youngest the decides to go up to the rapper, grabbing one end to read what it says and his eyes go wide for a little moment. A vacation getaway! The younger had to read it over to be sure he was looking at the words correctly. They both stared at the card, blinking as they can't believe what they are reading, almost feeling like a dream. 

"Oh, my gosh," Jooheon says, making Changkyun laugh at the voice his hyung uses. The youngest pair then breaking apart to stare at one another in disbelief. The oldest of the two repeats the line again, and Changkyun can't stop laughing, minds jumbled and feeling as if they were still in their sleepy and tired minds. "One second." 

Kihyun stares, confused and a little suspicious at what is going on as his eyes follow the pair, Shownu doing the same who is now wide awake. Jooheon waves a hand in front of himself, the postcard covered with his body as he still faces the youngest. "This doesn't make any sense. I can't believe it."

Changkyun laughs, trying to make words come out of his mouth but the shock is too overwhelming.

"We talked to the company." The lady mentions and Changkyun Jooheon both turn to each other.

"R-really?" After receiving confirmation, the pair then stares at one another as a cry of happiness emits, smiles on their faces, hands clasping together and both fall on their knees as the members suspiciously stare at them, smiling and chuckling at whatever was going on. Hyungwon was still sitting and zoning in and out, eyes closed and seemed like the only one not paying attention. Shownu leaned forward, and smile of suspicion as he eyes the pair a little longer, something was fishy. The youngest pair part and then hug one another, leaving Kihyun to throw a blanket at them for not saying anything about what is going on. Jooheon and Changkyun discuss where they should go, agreeing on Paris as their destination stop for the vacation getaway. Changkyun questions the staff if the postcard really is legit, staring down at it one more time to read something else he didn't see in a small fine print. "But with your own money?"

Jooheon, ears perking up at what comes out of the maknae's mouth, looks on the board to see the words as well, mouth flying open and eyes wide as saucers. The staff begins to clap and laugh, the action telling the youngest pair that they've been cheated and tricked, the loss for words hitting the couple hard as they walk around the room. It did seem like it was too good to be true. But the disappointment doesn't help when he hears Minhyuk laughing at them. Changkyun presses the hard card against his leg to try and break it, the other taking it from him and holding it up to chest level.

"I hold this, and do you want to break it?" Everyone laughs and Minhyuk shakes his head at the pair, unable to stop laughing at the younger two. 

Changkyun was indeed really happy to spend time with his hyung and being able to win something together, only to find out it was all a joke in the end. 

_

 

When it came to promotions for their next song Rush, Changkyun was tired by the choreography this time and sincerely wanted to just scream. The chorus had too much jumping and was a big energy waster before even reaching the middle of the song. At their possibly fifth fansign, Changkyun had last track after Trespass fan signs, the younger was sitting next to Jooheon who now had dyed his hair red, waiting for a fan who was with Hyungwon two members down to make their way towards him. The maknae had also changed his hair to a lighter brown, now always styled out of his face. Changkyun was just goofing around, drawing on a stuffed animal that a fan had given him to pass the away until the fan came over. He caught himself doing that from time to time. The younger felt a nudge against his shoulder, turning to Jooheon who was smiling as if he just witnessed something. The older waved his hand to signal for the other to come closer, and Changkyun did precisely that. 

"Did you see what happened in the morning?" 

"Do you mean Kihyun getting scared by Wonho who was eating in the kitchen with only his underwear?" 

Jooheon burst out laughing, shaking his head and Changkyun did the same, remembering the scream through the dorm as everyone woke up to see what the commotion was (everyone but Jooheon though apparently). The older shook his head again, leaning against the younger in his fit of laughter. 

"No, it wasn't that. But wait, did that really happen?" Changkyun nodded through his smile, and Jooheon took a glance at Wonho who was busy talking to fans and interacting with them, also waiting for the fan to slide down from Hyungwon. "I wonder what his fans will think when they hear something like that."

"I feel bad for his future wife. He needs a warning or something. Shownu said Kihyun had turned on the light, so Wonho was eating in darkness." The younger smiled, covering his mouth as their conversation was noticed by Minhyuk. 

"What are you guys laughing about? You aren't planning anything are you?" Jooheon shook his head and opened his mouth, only to double over and laugh before even starting. The action made the youngest do the same, and nothing could stop to pair in whatever they were laughing about. Minhyuk just shook his head and chuckled, going to face the front as a fan called out to him and the one sitting coming up to sign the album. Jooheon proceeds to tell the younger how Kihyun was cooking in the kitchen (possibly when Changkyun was in the restroom as the food was ready when he came out) and blamed Minhyuk for doing nothing at all. The brunette laughs, seeing how the main vocalist would suddenly call out Minhyuk out of nowhere. When it was Changkyun's turn to interact with the fan, the conversation had been switched to something else afterward. 

The next few days were busy, attending a fan meeting as the members talked with fans, giving them sweets and water in the hot sun. They made the staff move the girls to a more shadier area, not wanting to have Monbebes in the sun that increased in temperature by the minute for such an extended period of time. Minhyuk was talking and teasing Hyungwon about something that happened a few days ago, the youngest not really paying attention to the story. Jooheon came up behind the younger to just have someone to lean on, smiling as he looked over to the small yet big crowd surrounding them. The air was hot, the older's action of cuddling making the temperature grow, especially since the youngest was wearing a jacket. The redhead chatted with the other about lyrics, thinking of something they can do later when they arrived back at the dorm. 

Changkyun agrees, smiling as wraps an arm around the other and they both stay like that for a while, enjoying the company of the other. He and the older conversed for a while longer until Shownu mentioned Jooheon's name, the second youngest taking the mic and answer the other's question. Later, Changkyun for sure plans to play video games with his hyung and to also not get caught with them eating any type of junk while they play. When Jooheon isn't busy anymore, he wraps his arms entirely around Changkyun like he's always been doing, the other not thinking twice about the contact with his members; it was second nature now. 

Later on in the day, the members get ready for their Hero and Rush stage, waiting backstage as they talk to the PD. Jooheon raps an arm around the younger's shoulder pulling him closer as he speaks. 

"Jooheonie released a solo right?" The woman asks, and the said person gives a thumbs up with a happy nod and an affirmative sound. "I.M participated in it too."

"Ah! Everyone, now, can I honestly say this?" As the older begins to speak, Changkyun stands behind his hyung and slips his arms through the others, using them as if he's talking. The PD laughs, and Jooheon chuckles but still continues to talk as the maknae makes movements and clasping his hands, also giving thumbs up. "On the charts, I was eliminated at the speed of light." A smile giggle emits from the flustered redhead but continues. "But I was happy that I released such a good song. Because I did it with I.M, it seemed much better." 

Changkyun smiles at the comment, removing away from his hyung to converse with him eye to eye. "Shall we sing one small part?" Jooheon questions and the PD excitedly likes the idea. "So you're asking me to sing?"

"That's right!"

Jooheon clears his throat, and Changkyun begins to snap his hands, beatboxing as the other starts to sing. The younger sort of envied his hyung's talent for being able to sing and rap, his voice not suitable for anything other than rap. Although, he was working on it and was hoping to get better if only he wouldn't get so nervous when he opened his mouth to try. Changkyun joins in for one line, and the other sings his name for him to rap, and so he does. Jooheon joins in for the rap, and they have big smiles on their faces, nerves easing up a little before they go onstage. 

"Talk to you."

"Talk to me."

Oh? The PD laughs and Jooheon and Changkyun look at one another, chuckling as they both said different lyrics, flustered at their small mistakes. 

"That's not it?" Changkyun says, the older places a hand against his lips, and there's a small silence between them. They both sing the part again to cover up and pretend it didn't happen, waving their arms as they sway their bodies back and forth. 

The PD speaks up again. "I thought it was going to be a strong song, but it turns out to be a sweet song."

"I thought about it for a while," Jooheon begins saying, now that the incident has passed and they can then move on. "The mixtape itself is called middle finger." Changkyun points to the said finger out of the five. Jooheon continues as he explains the tone of the song Flower Cafe, creating a soft melody and using his hands to try and describe the first time the idea hit him, hugging himself in the process. Changkyun chuckles as he looks at the other, knowing his hyung isn't able to describe it in words. Jooheon chuckles, slinging an arm around the maknae as the PD asks them another question.

She tells them how there's a reason only the both of them are singing, confusing the pair who stare back and lost in their thoughts. The woman mentions how during their Hero stage, only Jooheon and I.M are the one who hasn't lifted their shirts to reveal their abs, and the pair realizes that. Wonho and Shownu have been the ones to do it the most, followed by Minhyuk and a few times from Kihyun and Hyungwon. The younger thinks that the possibility of them being rapper could have something to do with that since only the vocalists have been doing that part of the choreography. To admit, however, Changkyun would only lift up just a little centimeter or inch or just nothing at all.

Jooheon laughs, a little bashful and Changkyun agrees with what the PD says. The older playfully hits the shoulder of the other, laughing at the statement.

"Walking around with six was too heavy for me. So, in the end, I just joined them all together." Changkyun responds, making the PD laugh. 

"You think it's too heavy?" Jooheon asks, Changkyun replying with how annoying abs are. "Oh, I have too many."

"Like eight?" His hyung nods and Changkyun shakes his head laughing. PD mentions Kihyun and how he doesn't have abs but still goes up to lift his shirt. "Kihyun's abs, they're like one of the magical pens like a master calligrapher." He makes a motion of drawing the air from top to bottom and Jooheon joins him. He really does enjoy hanging around with Jooheon, never skipping a beat and always seeming to be on the same page with one another. Minhyuk comes and joins them, the topic switching to them winning the 1theK Performance and Changkyun still stays close to the youngest hyung. He's always grateful to have bonded with an excellent rapper.

When Monsta X films for their Right Now series, the group going down to Wolmido Island in Incheon since Wonho wanted to come to that place. Everyone immediately goes to the food, pointing at a booth as Wonho spots to the rides; a scared big baby he is. Changkyun laughs as it seems all the members haven't seen a hot dog before, by the way, their pointing and describing the different varieties. Kihyun points out a haunted house attraction and mentioning Jooheon's name, the older rapper getting scared by hearing those two in a sentence. Wonho gets too excited by seeing the ocean, running like a kid as they walk down the boardwalk, the others enjoying the gentle breeze the air gives. Although they're filming, Changkyun feels calm and relaxed, as if the cameras in front of them weren't real. 

Everyone runs to the edge to see the ship and seagulls, and Changkyun reaches out to it, a pain in his eyes as he, of course, can't reach. "Goodbye, my love! Don't go!" Jooheon joins in as well, clutching onto the maknae as the both of them start to act and fake cry, holding onto one another as they see the ship leave; or so the others think. The members just shake their heads with a laugh at the comedic pair who are screaming and catching the attention of others around them. Jooheon and Changkyun bend over in distraught and pain, throwing their arms at as they yell at the seagulls flying near the ferry. Hyungwon laughs the most, turning away but still unable to do so with the pair being so loud. Shownu doesn't do anything as he minds his own business watching the sea, still laughing as he hears the voices and takes a couple glances.

"Stop it, people are looking at us funny." Wonho chuckles.

_

 

"Hyung, I'm tired." 

It's now their third comeback, and the group still did not get their first win, thinking that their song All In would possibly get at least one. They didn't want to let Monbebes down, and they've been working their hardest to try and receive at least one for them. Changkyun had cut his hair a bit shorter, making him look like a weird little kid as his bangs now didn't pass his eyebrows. He told himself it'll grow out but, he hopes it's sooner than later. The younger honestly didn't want to wear hats all the time because he was so embarrassed at his new look. He just wishes to dye his hair a different color or at least something other than brown or black, Wonho, Minhyuk, and Kihyun seeming as if they were the ones who got it done the most. 

Everyone was filming for the Monbebe in Picnic video, all seven members dressed in animal costumes and filming individual scenes and then a group dance in the end. Changkyun had finished his part and wanted to get out of his brown wolf costume, beginning to overheat in the suit. He liked it if only it weren't so thick, making his body feel like a furnace. It didn't make the younger ever want to wear it again after finding out they would wear the costumes for their concert they planned on doing, not to mention also for a fansign. 

Jooheon was sitting beside the younger as he waited to go up, dressed as a bee. It was a refreshing sight to see, almost making Changkyun laugh at the sight. The older smiled in response to Changkyun's whine, pulling the maknae closer to him and patted his back. 

"I know Kyun, it'll all be over soon okay. Did you need any water or anything in the meantime?"

"Just my bed and hyung." Changkyun didn't know where the unexpected sentence came from, never the one to be needy unless it involved food. The others didn't complain about him asking for a bite, however, finding the gesture cute so he just kept on doing it. He figured because of how tired he was that he wanted a little more attention, something to cuddle next to for the time being.

Jooheon cooed, clinging to the youngest and pressed his cheeks against the other. "Aw Kyun! You're so adorable! You can take a nap on hyung right now. I'll be your bed." 

Changkyun smiled as he curled up a little closer, closing his eyes as he feels the small caresses through the bulky costume. The younger hoped that they would all soon go home, eat something Kihyun made, and then go to sleep. Or how it was yesterday of all the members crashing together on the couch, not bothering to cook and ordering takeout when they woke up; schedules too busy and making them lack in things other than work. 

By the time shooting was over, all seven sat inside the van as eyes failed to stay open and bodies going limp in the seats. Not even the most significant speed bump could wake any of the members up by how tired they were, leaning against either the window or one another as they headed home. Changkyun still stayed cuddled next to Jooheon as his head leaned against his hyung's shoulder, the other placing his head on top of the younger. 

After a few hours, the members decided to go out to eat, feeling a small teaspoon of energy within them, or at least enough to be able to move their feet and get from A to B. Going to a restaurant nearby, everyone decides on. 

A few days later, when they perform in front of fans and the leave the stage to drink some water and wipe the sweat off their faces, they all change out of their clothes and wipe off the makeup on their faces. A tired Changkyun clings onto Jooheon as he feels his eyes grow heavy by the minutes, not able to keep the open for any longer. Jooheon pats his back and whispers words of sleeping and being able to go home now. With no more things to do Changkyun feels his legs grow weak on him, the older of the youngest pair using all his strength to give the other a piggy-back ride to the van, knowing how since Changkyun was the youngest, his energy was also running quickly. The short-haired clings on and loosely wraps his arms around Jooheon as they head to the van, the warmth comforting and making him fall asleep more. 

He's not sure why but, recently Changkyun has been leaning all the members during this comeback and he's probably thinking about all the performances they've been doing, glad to have someone close to his age like Jooheon by his side to help him. With a grateful smile, Changkyun nuzzles his cheek into the back of his hyung and drifts off to sleep, faintly feeling himself be put in the back on the van to sleep against his hyungs Jooheon and whoever was on the other side of him.  
_

The members take a break from the photoshoot, now about to promote their new song Fighter and deciding to continue The Clan series. The concept this time really interested him as he had to ride down a tunnel with a bike and a teddy bear that light ups in the front (Even though he wasn't sure how the story and everything was tied together). Something that caught Changkyun's eyes was Wonho and Jooheon, seeing how they were both wearing fake piercings, except Wonho and the way his hair was dyed; blonde with blue tips. Minhyuk went back to brown and wouldn't shut up about having his hair color again, the blonde lasting a little too long for his liking. On the other hand, Kihyun had to go to pink, something the shorter wasn't very fond of and was always caught with a pout when he saw his hair color in a mirror or reflection. Even though the color resembled a lighter brown, Changkyun was happy he got to try out gray, as it was something a little different than the usual colors he was given. 

Jooheon and Changkyun both had worked hard on the song, trying to make their raps powerful with Be Quiet and Fighter but also softer tones with Blind but still gave it that punch and strength. They sat laughing in the small room as they hit one another in the arms to the point tears came out, and Changkyun can remember it as if it was yesterday. He hopes they can be successful with this comeback and that their hard work comes off with a home run.

He fixed the crown on his head from sliding off, my jaw also hurting from eating too many cheese flavored tortilla chips for the shoot. All he hopes is that he doesn't get sick from how much he has eaten. Taking a break from the group photoshoot, everyone's faces start to ease, and they turn to their usual selves and not the ones in front of the camera with meaningful stares and sexy smirks, whatever that was needed for the photobook. Changkyun took a chip out and held it out towards Jooheon, taking the time to remove the fake lip ring so he could be able to eat correctly. The younger chuckled at the action, feeling a little bad since he didn't need to wear any piercings, it didn't suit him except for the ones on his ears. 

At another photoshoot for a magazine, Jooheon and Changkyun were both crouched onto the floor, opening their mouths to one another as if they were acting like animals. It was now a little after their comeback for Fighter and promoting it that they were getting ready for yet another photo shoot, possibly, even more, to show up. The pair laughed and proceeded to push one another to see who would lose their balance first. When a sudden push from his hyung makes his legs shake and almost tip back, he shifts his weight forward and embraces the other in a hug. 

"Kyun!" Jooheon laughs but still wraps an arm around the younger, patting his back. "Geez, you're lucky I love you so much, or I would have done something else to win."

Changkyun chuckles, shifting their position as Jooheon's head is in the crook of the neck of the other. "I love you too hyung." 

_

 

"Changkyun, let's collab on another song! Like a mixtape!"

"Really? You would want to do that?" 

Jooheon nods excitedly and takes out his notebook. Changkyun scoots closer to see what the other has written, thinking about the offer for a little. At the moment, the group was now promoting for Beautiful, the last song to complete The Clan series. They went for a sexy vibe of fancy suits, everything whether on stage or photoshoots having flowers and prince-like feeling. The feeling of royalty evolving around this comeback, almost alluring as well.

They were getting ready to go to Singapore, and it was really late in the night that Jooheon came to him. Just when Changkyun was going to get a glass of water before bed, he noticed that his hyung was staying up a little later than everyone else.

"So, I was thinking instead of something strong, we can do something light-hearted."

Changkyun was on board no matter what, nodding away at the idea and grabbing his notebook out as well to open it. "Sure, I'm down. Let's start getting some stuff down now."

"Awesome! I love your hard work Kyun. You make me a proud hyung."

"Yah, stop being so soft hyung." Changkyun lightly punched Jooheon on the arm, a smile playing on his lips. For the next two hours, they worked on the lyrics for their collab until tiredness overcame their bodies. The pair chatted as they agreed with some things and of course, had their disagreements about some parts, but in the end, it was now always working out to create excellent and well-made songs. 

Without their knowledge, Shownu steps inside to grab something to drink, unable to sleep and he stumbles on two youngest members sleeping on the couch as they snuggled close to one another. Seeing the pair leaning against one another and entwined hands as their notebooks were on their laps. 

The leader shook his head and carefully removed the books, trying hard not to wake them up; especially Changkyun. Shownu grabs a light blanket from the hallway closet to place on the youngest pair, smiling at the scene and going to get something to drink.

When it was the time to go to Singapore, Changkyun and Jooheon finished their song and were happy with the result. The company agreed to let them film it and to also upload it on, something that the pair were happy to accomplish. Everyone was tired of doing work related things, the youngest couple still having the youthful energy. While all the others were relaxing or sleeping, Changkyun and Jooheon made their way to Kampong Glam, and begin to discuss what they wanted to do. While they were inside about to start filming it begins to rain, something that the pair weren't aware of. The clothing they had on wasn't suited for the type of weather and was pretty light. 

After about two hours of filming inside and doing some retakes, the pouring rain had stopped, and they began to shoot more parts outside. Although with the floor wet, the pair ran around and dancing with one another for a few more scenes as they sang, smiling and laughing as they did. The equipment was waterproof, so that wasn't a big problem if it had begun to rain once more and eventually it did. Changkyun and Jooheon ran down one of the empty streets, the water that fell from the sky soon started to come down a little harder. Jooheon jumps to try and click his feet together in a messy attempt, making the younger laugh as he looks back. Their clothes begin to weight down on them and the feeling of their wet hair hitting their foreheads as they ran, their styled hair becoming flat. They didn't have this in mind but, it showed their legitimate friendship and bond between them all, and that was the most important message of their song. 

The older slings an arm around Changkyun, and the younger does the same as their other hands come out as if they're flying. Both of the part from one another to take in the earth, spinning around and leaning their heads back to bask in the rain. The sensation of the cooling water touching their skin, feeling as if the rain was washing away all their worries and insecurities. His thought came back of No Mercy and the bullies, one of the problems that the rain was cleaning out of him. It made him smile, thinking back and to where he was now made everything feel alright. His relationship with Jooheon was great as well as with his other hyungs, and he was always surrounded by love. 

He ran to Jooheon and hugged him, making the older stumble back a big in surprise and slowly easing into a smile, embracing his dongsaeng back. The older laughed and returned the gesture, closing his eyes and tightening his grip to assure the other he was loved; and Changkyun could feel that. With the mix of the rain, the younger finds himself crying in happiness as a smiled plays on his lips, relieved to be living in such a moment with his hyung. To think he would have come this far was something he couldn't put his finger on. 

They dance and play in the rain a little longer, Changkyun jumping on Jooheon's back for a piggyback ride, surprising the other but soon laughed once again. The blue-haired was always so happy that he could quickly make Jooheon smile, one that was genuine and really wide. His hyung spun him around a little and stuck his arm out like a plane. Changkyun tightens his grip around the other’s neck, laughing under the rain that now doesn’t want to disappear. 

Through their playing around, it’s time to go, and the staff gives them blankets from the car as there were no towels. Changkyun and Jooheon shiver afterward but still not wanting to wipe away their smiles, still laughing as they calm down a little. Changkyun's eyes shine as he looks at Jooheon, leaning his head on the older as he always does. Although wet and cold, he can't wait to take a warm shower and change into comfortable pajamas to play games with his hyung.  
_

Monsta X is at yet another fansign, also about to announce their Beautiful World Tour in a few days as they are promoting for yet another comeback. Releasing for Shine Forever, things were getting busy lately, and practice started to be more and more frequent. Because of the upcoming tour, there was a setlist made, and some members had to relearn some of the moves to their old dances. Unit stages were being made up, and new dances were created and learned as fast as they could. With the constant rehearsing, Changkyun found himself getting sick, overworking himself just a little bit to make sure he got everything down right. Jooheon had found out but not wanting to force his dongsaeng, he believed that Changkyun knew his body way better and his limits; No Mercy was long gone when it to the health of the youngest. But when Kihyun found out since the younger was now hiding it as days progressed, the younger was forced to lay in bed for a few days. 

These events had happened before the fansign but were, of course, recent, Jooheon telling a story about a call he received from I.M. Changkyun knew what the other was talking about, a nervous smile creeping up on his face as he looked down at his fingers. Although embarrassing, it was right yet, he felt himself believing that he didn't say it as he tried not come off as needy too much. He blames it on the small fever he received, and Changkyun fiddles with his fingers as Jooheon continues his story.

While everyone was practicing and Kihyun stayed in the dorm inside the kitchen, Changkyun felt profoundly bored and didn't want to bother the vocalist with anything else. The now orange-haired (Changkyun was able to choose another color, but it still looked drown, almost a caramel) sighed, looking up at the ceiling and moving his hand to reach for his phone. He recently missed Jooheon; lately, their regular game playing died down for a while or seemed nonexistent as everyone was tired to do anything else. Not even cuddling with one another or spending free time as everyone was so drained out that nothing else but being on their bed and eating were on their mind. 

With almost everyone gone, Changkyun went on his phone to call Jooheon, a need of want and comfort. Kihyun had been doing that all day but, of course, the vocalist wouldn't let him play any games in his condition so the younger knew maybe Jooheon can lay with him and play a game on his phone or game boy. Changkyun placed the device against his ear as it rang, hoping through the loud music his hyung would pick up or that they were taking a break. After about three more rings, he hears the familiar voice coming through the phone, instantly putting a smile on his face. Even though the orange-haired had seen the silver-haired that morning, it felt like the other had been gone for a few weeks. 

"Hi Kyun, what is it?"

"I just missed you hyung."

Jooheon chuckles and Changkyun could imagine the smile on the other's face. "You really are sick huh?"

"Hyung~." Changkyun whines, a small laugh emitting. He was sick, but he always wanted his hyungs close by him because they gave him strength. "I'm actually serious. I really miss you."

"Ah, you're so cute Kyun. I'll try my best to finish up here and take care of you. Kihyun isn't there?"

"He is but, I don't want to bother him much, and he won't let me play." Changkyun sounded like a child, something he tried not to do but his words came out that. Jooheon laughs again, the tone of the other amusing and pulling him closer. The maknae always could get his way if he wanted to, and with the love of his hyungs, they would most likely do anything for him.

"I see how it is. So, Changkyun-ie is bored then? Hyung will try his best to hurry back to the dorm. Do you think you can wait till then?"

Changkyun makes an affirmative sound and smiles. "How's practice coming hyung?"

The pair talks for a little more until Jooheon has to practice again, soon hanging up their phones. Changkyun cuddles onto the stuffed bear that lays beside him, nuzzling into the soft feeling. Kihyun comes inside to force some nasty medicine in his mouth as Changkyun protests, soon just having to deal with the stubborn and straightforward ways of the other. The younger knows if he doesn't take it, he won't get better and he needed to fast for rehearsing for the concert. After drinking some water and sweat being wiped away from his forehead with a cold and wet cloth, the older decides to jump in with him to keep him company. Since the rapper would be staying in the room for practically the whole day, the vocalist didn't want him staring into the walls or talking to himself while he was out doing things around the dorm.

When they both fall asleep, Changkyun doesn't know how long he has been asleep for or what the time is now; all he knows is that it's pretty hot in the bed and Kihyun's usual grip on him doesn't help. Trying to remove a blanket from his body to take away some of the heat, he spots Jooheon's body as his back faces the younger in front of him. With a smile on Changkyun's face, his wraps an arm around his hyung which startles him a little as he jumps. Changkyun apologizes with a small laugh, cuddling up against the back of the older and feeling content with having Jooheon to spend time with. But because of the main vocalist, they couldn't be spotted playing games while the younger should be resting. 

Changkyun feels embarrassed after hearing the story, as now that he is all better, realizing how soft he was when he was sick. He always notices he gets clingy and needy even more when he has a fever, but the others don't care and always are still right beside him. The fans coo and Changkyun feels his ears turn a little red and he continues to play with his fingers, keeping his head down. He licks his lips out of nervousness and tries not to look at anyone or bothering to lift his head. Changkyun is glad that Jooheon chuckles, telling the fans how happy he was to receive the call. The dimples of the older's face appear as he smiles, making Changkyun not feel bad for his actions.  
_

Changkyun and Jooheon sit in the usual room of writing lyrics, both content with the fact that they won their first win with their newest comeback Dramarama. Everyone consoled each other while they cried and hugged one another, not forgetting to thank their fans the most and to hope they get more wins. All the members partied and relaxed, still working hard and to make sure that it doesn't go to waste. Changkyun and Jooheon smiled as they looked down at their notebooks, pages now almost full and book slightly worn. Feeling his hand getting sore, Changkyun stops and leans back in the chair to take a small breather and let his mind recharge. Jooheon does the same a few seconds after and gets up to stretch his body, a sigh leaving his lips as he pats the younger on the shoulder. The former looks up and they both smile, seeming to know what they are saying through the comfortable silence between them. 

With the tilt of Jooheon's head pointing to the door, Changkyun can feel his smile getting more prominent, and he grabs his things to go get something to eat with Jooheon. The pair head straight to the fast food joint, making sure not to tell the others they went without them. The last time the younger had gone to the joint by the building was when times weren't the best. It's hard to believe that the group had not been to that fast food restaurant in pretty much three years, always either getting something delivered or mostly eating in the dorm with homemade food. The memories of how everyone but Shownu and Kihyun hated him, it was the starts of trying to befriend all the others. The moment of where Hyungwon had talked about Changkyun's acne and how he should eat a salad, where Kihyun was going to fight Hyungwon and Wonho. 

The younger shook his head at the thought, not wanting such past memories to flood back into his mind again. Changkyun was happy with how all the members treated him now, and more good things were going to come. They had gotten their first win, and the younger smiled at the new thought in his head and focused his attention on Jooheon. The two rappers make it inside and order some hamburgers with fries and soda, taking a seat to enjoy the meal that they would get smacked for if Kihyun found out; a member who the youngest pair began to slightly avoid since they were getting reckless as of late. But with the recent win, Changkyun and Jooheon knew the vocalist would look past it for the moment. 

"What do you think we should do next after this?" Jooheon speaks up as he finishes chewing the burger that's not half eaten. Changkyun looks up in thought as he also takes the time to chew his food, not in a hurry as everyone else were out doing their own things for the day. 

"I say we just walk around and see where the sidewalk leads us. It's funny how when you don't have time on your hands you want to go to many different places, but when you do have time, you don't know where to go."

The older laughs, nodding his head as his burger was finished and was now munching on the fries. They decide to take it easy and enjoy the day off that's been given to them. After completing their food, the pair makes their way out and walk down the sidewalk to where the concrete leads them. At reaching the crosswalk and the light, both Jooheon and Changkyun decide to flip a coin for the hell of it; tails for right and heads for left. Landing on the back of the coin, and heading right. The two do this a couple of time and find themselves in front of an arcade, deciding to go inside and play some games (even though in the dorm, both have played video games but, why stop now). 

For an hour or two, they aren't sure how fast time has flown because by Jooheon and Changkyun were tired, it was now about five in the afternoon. Throughout their fun, they hadn't realized they missed three calls from Shownu and both panic as they frantically call their leader. Clearing everything up and easing the mind of the oldest, the feeling of content comes back into their bodies as Changkyun holds close to him a white seal. After many tries of trying to get the plush from the UFO Catcher, Jooheon was able to get it for him in one fantastic go. The former was so excited he knew that he would treasure the gift that his hyung won for him. The younger giggles as he looks up at Jooheon, dimples slowly forming. 

When making it inside the dorm, the room is quiet as they look around the oddly empty living room that's always full of life. With a note on the counter, they see that Shownu and Wonho went to workout, and the other three are out doing errands even on their day off. With a shrug of shoulders, Changkyun and Jooheon make their way to the couch to watch a movie to pass the time. For the whole time, the former still hadn't let go of the white seal and nuzzling into the soft fur of the plush. 

"You really like that thing don't you?" Jooheon chuckles which make the other do the same. 

Changkyun nods and smiles, leaning against Jooheon; he's always so warm as the heat radiates from him. It's soothing and comforting, the pleasant feeling against his own body heat. "Thank you Jooheon-hyung. Something sort of different for a change I guess." 

"I know. We've been playing games a lot we should upload videos in our spare time." Jooheon grabs a blanket that lays on the couch and places it over them both, enjoying the still easygoing nature of the day off. "But with how much we have to do, it's probably not the smartest thing at the moment." 

The younger agrees, turning his head to the television to watch the crappy b-rated film in front of them, not caring as it passes the time and gives the pair something to talk about. Although the older is frightened by horror films, Jooheon seems to be doing pretty well and ends up falling asleep it was so dull. In the middle of Changkyun's sentence about the movie, the brunette turns to the sleeping silver-haired hyung who drifts away. He sighs but feels his lips curl up as he stares a little longer, seeing how there is a small smile on Jooheon's lips, possibly dreaming about something that's making him happy as his dimples show. Even if the silver-haired isn't aware of it, Changkyun leans in to kiss a dimple and snuggle against the other with his white seal. 

"I love you Jooheony-hyung." Closing his eyes as well, for a brief second, Jooheon opens his eyes to look at the younger as his smile softens at the affection.  
_

"We're hackers." 

Changkyun laughs at the attempted English from Jooheon as they film The Connect : D Music Film; a video that would be uploaded first before the actual music video. About to release their new song Jealousy, the group go for a slightly different concept, one that's a little sexy but the one they're filming now isn't that what so ever. Jooheon and Changkyun are playing the part of hackers, something the latter has always wished to act out as it would be an exciting role to play. Jooheon keeps throwing the baseball in his hand up in the air in a short distance repeatedly, an action that distracts the younger slightly. 

At the moment, they aren't doing anything except goofing off a little. The youngest pair had filmed a scene of where the older had walked in and shown I.M on the computer and had stopped, the now blonde Jooheon filming something before as well. The location is like that of a basement, dark except for the lair they have which is crowded with computers and software, paperwork and file cabinets around them. Both Jooheon and Changkyun try to wiggle and move away from the cold air from their bodies, shivering and keeping arms close to them as they try to keep their teeth from chattering. 

"We're friends." Jooheon continues and leans in to look at Changkyun. The other makes eye contact with his hyung and smiles slightly. 

"We're friends and geniuses." 

"Yeah, we're different, other guys, right?"

"Yup, we are different from other guys."

Jooheon smiles and throws the baseball up again as he looks in the camera, shrugging his shoulders. "I like baseball."

"Yeah~, I like you." Changkyun turns his attention to the other, pointing as he speaks. 

"Thank you. I love you too." 

After a few more seconds the pair goes back to their desks and resume acting, typing on the computers and looking at all the different texts popping up on the screen. Changkyun grabs a piece of piazza nearby to take a bite, the flavors of spices and vegetables touching his tongue and almost making him moan. The soft yet crispy bread melting in his mouth and he grabs another slice, going over to Jooheon and hands it to him. Jooheon smiles slightly and points to his screen, discussing thing on his laptop and talking about how they should film the scene to make it look realistic. The words weren't going to be heard in the final product, so it didn't really matter what was said. 

In the middle of it all, Changkyun finds himself sitting on the desk of where Jooheon is working and is on his second slice, chatting away and laughing. There is another break, and they continue to communicate with one another with things that went on in the dorm to jokes. Also mentioning how Monbebe and Monsta X is like combination pizza with hot sauce. After almost finishing the box, the temperature drops again, and they blow into the air to see their breaths, the white mist visible. 

After another few minutes, the pair goes back to work and get into their moods of hackers, looking at the screening and typing away. Both occasionally going to each other's tables and pointing to the screen at what they find, chatting and giving questioning or displeased looks at their findings. Changkyun goes back to his seat this time and pushes up his glasses, reading the green and red text that pop up as his finger follows and begins to type away again only to shake his head. Trying to act was difficult, but after many music videos, he feels he's getting the hang of it now. His hand reaches for the red solo cup to drink the soda that keeps his mind awake, now on his third cup; the liquid cold not only from the ice but also how freezing the room is. After draining its contents, he lets it hang between his teeth as he continues working, Jooheon doing his own thing behind him as their backs are towards one another. Changkyun then finds that another slice (not sure which one he is on now) in his mouth, taking a bite as he feels his hands slowly lose feeling from how much he's using them. But, if he doesn't move his body to keep some of the heat, he would still feel slightly numb. 

The black-haired turns his head away from the computer that's hurting his eyes, a small pulsating feeling in his head from how long he's been staring at the screen. Reading what's on the book beside himself, he nods and goes back to where Jooheon sits to discuss it. After their scene is finished, they go meet up with the others for group shots and filming some scenes of them posing and running. A few takes later both Jooheon and Changkyun go up to one of the cameras to laugh evilly and place their face close up, using their hands to cover the lens. The first day of filming had finished, and they had more to do. 

Jooheon and Changkyun find themselves walking on the sidewalk in the same clothing from yesterday, a backpack now on the younger's back that held a laptop. They're up high and looking over the buildings from above, goofing off and smiling like idiots. The black-haired sits on the warm ground, content with the temperature compared to yesterday and takes out the laptop. He calls over to the blonde to look at something on the screen and what happens next, isn't what the younger thought would happen. Jooheon pats his shoulder and leans in really close, making Changkyun's breath stop for a few seconds as he stares at his hyung. He's been close before but not by surprise, their lips dangerously close especially since they were in front of the staff. 

 

Back at the dorm after a long day of hard work, the group decides to order out and rest for the rest of the day. Pizza is out of the question of what to eat and decide to go for their go-to restaurant when it comes to delivery. The members chat until the food arrives and they have a big feast, talking about the future that holds for them. Changkyun feeds Jooheon some rice and meat from his spoon, always taking care of his hyungs before himself. Jooheon is like a brother to him, all the members are but, their bond is stronger than it was before and the younger is exceptionally grateful for that.

"Hyung~ can I have a bite?" The black-haired does his cringy (in his opinion) ageyo to the blonde, the latter chuckling as he scoops up some rice and vegetables to feed to the youngest. Changkyun chews happily, bouncing slightly and closes his eyes with a smile and Jooheon shakes his head.

"Aish, this dork. But I love you Kyun." 

Changkyun's eyes widen a little bit at how honest and genuine the words are, the corners of his lips slowly turning up. Never again does he have to hear the hurtful words of Jooheon and feeling he wasn't a good enough rapper, the overflowing brotherly love that now comes from him.

"I love you too Jooheony..."


	25. Extra: Hyungwon to Changkyun (1/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my unexplained hiatus. This is really short about 2,000 plus words because I don't want this story to be like I forgot about it. I've had so much personal problems and things to deal with I apologize for my disappearance! There was the concert, home problems, my computer is now in the shop and I don't know how long it will be in there, and I'm also sick :(
> 
> I'll update soon hopefully so I hope this gets you by! Hyungwons part will be two parts because of my huge inactivity! I really am sorry!

Hyungwon to Changkyun was also like a brother, but a much older one of the sorts. Nothing like Jooheon but yet, quite similar too. Even though the taller would join the younger pair in their antics, sometimes he refrained. Changkyun wasn’t going to lie, at first, he was slightly intimidated by the other’s good looks and tall stature, always almost looking lightly unamused. He felt happy that whenever Hyungwon did look dead panned, his plump lips would turn into a smile when Changkyun called for him. Because Hyungwon had taken the longest to befriend the younger other than Minhyuk, the tiniest things made Changkyun smile, loving the effort that was not fake whether it wasin front or away from cameras. 

After debut, Changkyun started to hang out with Hyungwon a lot more as the pair never really were around one another. The younger made up his mind that he wanted to get closer to the blonde, also since they had been born in the same city of Gwangju. Even after the week that Changkyun would be sleeping with the taller because for the “punishment”, it still continued as it helped the younger fall asleep faster (no longer needing to disrupt his sleep but, also, not knowing how much time had flown). Hyungwon started to become more comfortable with the other's presence in the bed by running his fingers through his hair and using him as a body pillow. Although it took a little while to open up to one another, they were really close and better than before in the end. Their relationship grew more than what it was before debut, and Changkyun could finally smile at that thought of never needing to go through that pain again.

At a Trespass fansign in Gangnam, Hyungwon was next to Changkyun for that location, talking and laughing with him, occasionally leaning against the other's shoulder, or really his head. They were waiting for fans to come their way from the other members, posing for photos from the ones who were still seated. 

"Well, aren’t you looking cute today Changkyun. The parted hairstyle suits you really well." Hyungwon smiles and it hits the younger quite hard in the chest, the memory of the taller insulting him for the way he looked during a photoshoot long ago. To see the change in their relationship warmed Changkyun's heart as he smiled back, also leaning against his hyung. He was proud at where he was at, and looking back at the still lingering memories, it did truly make him a stronger person. Changkyun was laughing more and not afraid to walk out of the shared room and into the living room, or anywhere for that matter.

"Only today? Aren't I cute every day?" 

Hyungwon laughs as Changkyun teases, trying to do a little bit of his bad aegyo. Jooheon was teaching him some moves and gestures like the pro he is a few days before, saying he could use it for almost anything (which was how Changkyun was able to have a second plate from Kihyun, and a little extra small bites fed to him by Minhyuk and Wonho; he'll have to thank Jooheon-hyung later he thinks). The younger tries his charms once again as he puckers his lips and bats his eyes a little, earning a chuckle. 

"Okay, what did Jooheon tell you this time?" The blonde immediately catches on to his scheme, making the other's eyes widen. The reaction that the taller received seemed to justify. "You were trying to ease your way into wanting something from me didn't you?"

Changkyun rolled eyes, acting as if now that wasn't the case. "Hyung, what makes you think that?" As he tries to lean towards the other, his butt had slid off the seat, the undistributed weight shifting to one side as the chair tips. The brunette lets out a surprised noise as he slightly crashes into Hyungwon who is able to catch him from falling, as well as the help from a woman staff behind. Instead of humiliating himself in front of fans more, Changkyun poses cutely for anyone who was paying attention. 

The taller just shakes his head and laughs, making Changkyun's face grow red at the incident. Not only was he doing his disgusting aegyo, but he also made himself look really clumsy. Although he wasn't a big fan of being the maknae in the group, things like him needing to act cute, being slightly spoiled by his hyungs (maybe not slightly), acting a bit recklessly and mischievous does help to get things he wants like food and cuddles, so maybe it wasn't all that bad. 

"But really, what is it that you need from me?" The older of course isn't dumb, always silently watching how Changkyun puts up the cute act to get a bite of food from his hyungs; though the blonde wasn't complaining. "Is it that new video game store that got remodeled?"

Changkyun avert a his eyes as his lips slightly curl upwards, a small giggle emitting. The brunette nods and it makes Hyungwon laugh again, seeing the maknae right through him. If the youngest pair hadn't talked about it during breakfast, Hyungwon wouldn't really know what the other wanted. The taller did appreciate how the younger wen to him in the time of “need”. 

"Yea, Shownu-hyung said we would be too busy and I want to get this new game that just came out because this week you can get free limited gift." 

"Ah, so leader said we wouldn't have anytime at all this week and the special item is only for this week only?" Changkyun nods his head. Hyungwon loves his dongsaeng too much to say no, slowly nodding his head as he agrees to find some time and slip out to go grab the game that Changkyun wanted. Seeing the lights sparkle within the other’s eyes when the taller said yes put a smile on his lips, enjoying the emotion that was lacked before debut. Changkyun hugs his hyung tightly, thanking him over and over and it catches the attention of Minhyuk.

The older blonde looks to the left where Changkyun is, tilting his head as a questioning smile comes up to his face. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he felt as if he should stick his nose into the situation. 

“What’s got you so excited all of a sudden?”

“I’m going to try and find a way to take Changkyun to the video game store that was remodeled so he could buy a game.” Hyungwon keeps his voice low so nobody else heard him, especially with bright and sunny Jooheon next to him who might want to tag along. However, when the words fall out of his mouth, Hyungwon sort of wishes he didn’t tell Minhyuk.

“They’re open until midnight because of the re-grand opening.” Changkyun bounces in his seat, almost 

Minhyuk shakes his head with a chuckle. “Wow, all for a video game and you’re planning to possibly sneak out really late aren’t you?” Hyungwon and Changkyun’s faces fall slightly as they look at one another, not expecting the disapproval and slightly indirect yet, direct scolding. The pair watch as Minhyuk smiles and leans in to whisper. “Let me in on it, I’m down.” Or so they had thought. 

After dinner and when everyone hits their mattresses for the night, Changkyun gets up eleven at night which actually was pretty normal regarding his light sleeping and constant getting up. He shakes Hyungwon who was next to him, feeling a small tug at his heart for disrupting his sleep (even though it was only an hour but, that small amount of time does work for some members). Groggy and half-asleep, Hyungwon lifts up a hand to rub his eyes and look around the dim room, seeing the face of Changkyun which reminded him of the promise that he made. Nodding his head without saying anything, the pair both get out of bed, not bothering to change out of their pajamas as it would cause too much noise and wake up the others. 

Changkyun heads back to his room and creaks the door open, peering in the see Minhyuk still up and playing on his phone as he was waiting for them. With Kihyun and Jooheon asleep, the older blonde looks up from the screen to see the nod of Changkyun, eagerly getting out of bed and out the shared room. The trio quietly put on their shoes and jackets, small hushed giggles emitting as they slowly make their way out of the dorm and out the building. The night air is pleasing but hurts from the slight cold, causing teeth to chatter and hands to rub the sides of their bodies. If they knew it would be this cold then they would have brought thicker jackets.   
Now away from the others, the trio chat freely and discuss about tomorrow’s performance, the realization hitting them that they most likely shouldn’t be out and about, especially without permission. Changkyun thinks that if they get caught, he will blame the whole situation on himself as, he is the one who wanted to go. Chatting with the two members who were the last to open up makes the younger laugh and smile, happy to have their support now. Knowing how kind they really are under the mask that No Mercy had created, they were honestly really sweet and loveable people deep down. The two blonde both brings Changkyun closer, who was in the middle of them, arms around his shoulders as they walk and use their body heat to keep warm. Times like these make the younger forget about the bad times, giving him the courage to look straight ahead for better days.

Upon reaching the game store, Changkyun spots the game he’s been looking for and smiles, also wanting to get store points for a discount he’s been saving up for, hence why he didn’t buy online. He gets a limited edition character keychain, seeing Hyungwon smiled fondly at him at how big he was smiling. Minhyuk also buys something for himself and the trio walk back with no hassle. Hyungwon’s phone didn’t ring and everything seemed to have worked out fine. (Except needing to now come up with an excuse on how they got the games but, the blonde will figure that out later). For just that moment, they notice a 24 hour mini-mart and pick up a small sealed tray of cooked seasoned chicken for bribing and forgiving reasons.

Silently laughing, they make it into the dorm as quietly as they came inside, only to be stopped by an angry bedhead Kihyun and an out-of-it Shownu who was probably dragged by the shorter. A small finger is soon pointed into their faces, the vocalist’s voice scary and loud as it shakes the walls. Something deep down told the trio that they would encounter the brunette but, the risk to go out was exciting.

“Where in the hell did you guys go?! I was about to call you guys when I came into the kitchen for some water expecting Minhyuk to be in there when I saw his bed empty. Changkyun I knew would be with Hyungwon so, I figured Minhyuk went to cuddle with you but when I checked, all three of you were gone.”

Kihyun places his hands on his hips, and Hyungwon scratches the back of his head, risking his life as he opens his mouth. “Well, we just went out for a little walk because we couldn’t sleep.”

Changkyun and Minhyuk hide their bag behind themselves, not wanting the other to find out they actually went to buy something. It did make Changkyun want to laugh as the older blonde was still scared of Kihyun who was younger than him.

“Well, do something in here, not walk out of the whole building when it’s close to midnight! Shownu and I are very upset right now that you three would just go and leave like that. Something could have happened.” Kihyun’s anger is still not decreasing, making Changkyun huddle closer to his two blonde hyungs.

“Kihyun, it was my fault as I wanted to go…” The main vocal turns his attention to the youngest. “I couldn’t sleep so, I woke them up to help me and I feel a lot better.”

“That still doesn’t change my mind as I find it unlikely to go outside. And I expected better from you since you’re the oldest one in this trio Minhyuk!” The blonde’s eyes grow wide at the mention of his name, looking at the younger yelling at them all. He wants to say something but his swallows his words. “Shownu, don’t you have anything to say.”

The leader jumps by the sound of his name also, still half-sleep as he yawns and waves off Kihyun. “Yeah yeah sure, I’ll go to the restaurant tomorrow to pick up the food.”

The leader nestles himself back into the couch as smacks his lips a few times before closing his eyes. Kihyun's mouth flies open and he sighs.

“Geez, Shownu!”

Changkyun smiles nervously, looking up at Hyungwon who smiles back at him and shakes his head. It was a little better than what he had imagined in his head. Feeling sleep take over his body, Changkyun yawns and leans against the older, the touch of the soft fabric reminding him of the bed. Hyungwon pats the younger on the head and proceeds to rub his shoulder, slowly ushering him to the room. Kihyun sighs, defeated but not giving up as they will continue the situation tomorrow. Seeing the younger two of the trio, tells him that there was no point in continuing. It is soon dropped when Changkyun presentscthe chicken to the vocalist, something that was Hyungwon's idea that turned out well. To see the light in Kihyun's eyes and mouth water at his favorite food told the trio they were off the hook. Hyungwon leads Changkyun to bed after getting good nights and kisses on the head and cheek by both Minhyuk and Kihyun as if he was child. He whines but smiles when Shownu makes an attempt but instead, kisses the air which shows how much sleep he needs to catch up on.

Hyungwon leads Changkyun up the bunk first, settling into the warm and soft sheets that he missed so much, a smile slowly appearing on his face. As the blonde climbs up the stairs, he sees the maknae reach out and grab the air to make him hurry, cooing at the cute action. After both settle inside the sheets, Changkyun hugs onto the taller and cuddles into him, they're slowly getting their and Changkyun couldn't be happier. 

"Thank you hyung."


	26. Extra: Hyungwon to Changkyun (2/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO IS ALIVE! I have finally updated and sorry for any mistakes! I will reply to comment so I apologize! Many things have happened but surely, my goal is to finish this series before the comeback! Since these go buy each comeback, it took a lot of rewatching videos and research for these chapters so hence why there is a long wait and some moments aren't long enough to write or there's an era where there barely is anything so there's a lot of story for these and slightly less research.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and Kihyun's will be out shortly, followed by Minhyuk, Wonho, Shownu and then Monsta X to finish it off!
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes!

In time for Rush promotions, his relationship with Hyungwon was way better, and everything in No Mercy had flown by their heads. However, Changkyun didn't think he'd get hit by Hyungwon everytime he laughed at something, even though it was playful. The lighter-haired found himself either yelling or holding his arm whenever the blonde did the action, but Changkyun looked past it after all the other members did the same. After practicing in the dance room, the members take a break by sitting against the wall, the sounds of water bottles opening and the heavy breathes emitting. A dance that required lots of energy, trying every day to build their stamina to avoid fainting. All the jumping around, it was different from Trespass and had more of a brighter tone. Changkyun takes a big swig from the cold water, small drops falling off the side of his mouth. He wipes his mouth as well as his forehead, dripping in sweat from the extensive practice. Sighing deeply, the younger catches Hyungwon limp against the wall and eyes closed, chest moving slowly. The brunette makes his way to the taller and takes a seat next to him, the blonde slowly opening his eyes just a little to see who came over, a small smile appearing. 

Changkyun leans his head against the shoulder of the other, watching the others goof around as energy is still within their bodies, smiles on their faces. No matter what, the group was always still full of life and energy as if the dance wasn't a big energy waster. The sight of Wonho tickling Minhyuk who tries to defend himself from the hands, and Jooheon laughing as he records the scene with Kihyun behind him as the pair look into the screen. And having Shownu just shaking his head and not bothering to stop the play fighting, scrolling on his phone with a small curl of the lips. It was all just an everyday thing, which it really was.

Changkyun turns his attention back to the blonde next to him who had closed his eyes again, sleep now overtaking him. “Tired, hyung?” A nod sends Changkyun giggling, agreeing with the older. He too closes his eyes, his still young body too tired to move anymore for probably a little while. “Same. This comeback is very tiring. I'm surprised that we've made it this far without falling from like heat stroke. It's thanks to Shownu for teaching us how to keep up.”

Hyungwon makes an affirmative sound, the sometimes lack of conversation was something that Changkyun was used to, also a bit comforting after hearing Jooheon talk his lips off to the younger. Another small sigh leaves the brunette, smiling as he snuggles against his hyung, hoping that by seeing the sight of the two sleeping, their leader will cut practice off short this time around. 

Changkyun doesn't know how much time had passed, he only knew that when he woke up, he was in his bed with the lights out and a noticeable massive pain against his head. His hands immediately touch the area to only find nothing like a wound or a bump, making the younger figure out that he started to grow a headache. Not to mention that his head felt damp and cold to the touch. Had he taken a shower? Changkyun didn't really remember anything after dance practice, except laying against the wall with Hyungwon. The brunette sits up in bed, noticing that everyone else had not been in their beds, the sheets not made telling the younger his bandmates were just sleeping. Had he missed the alarm clock or Kihyun's wake up call? That couldn't be it as Changkyun was a light sleeper, so the brunette knew something was up. Confused and a slight headache increasing, he makes his way out of the bunk beds and down the steps to slowly open the door. The hardwood floor cold against his bare feet. Slight noise could be heard from the living room, the groggy maknae rubbing his eyes as he shuffled his feet across the wood floor. His headache increased by the second, feeling almost faint and his mouth dried like a desert. An odd smell reached Changkyun's nostrils, eyebrows scrunching as he tried to sense everything around him. Upon stepping foot into the living room, the stench grew stronger, and Changkyun can see the cause of it as his eyes slowly looked in the direction. 

Hyungwon was seen inside the kitchen, doing whatever it seemed he to be, which didn't look like cooking but he was. The blonde appeared as if he knew what he was doing, yet it wasn't even close. The sound of something cooking which made the brunette feel a bit light headed at how loud it was, which was more intense because of his headache. He wasn't sure what was causing him to feel so out of shape and under the weather, not even knowing when it had happened. Changkyun opened his mouth to try and speak but, he licked his lips instead to attempt getting the dry feeling away. He felt as if a lump was stuck in his throat, a type of blockage of some sorts. With a large and hard gulp, Changkyun's mouth opened again.

"H-hyung?" What came out of the younger's mouth was hoarse and weak, not loud enough for the other hear. But, even through the loud sounds of sizzling emitting from the pan, Hyungwon turned around in a quick motion at the small, weak words, eyes wide. Fingers rapidly flying to the knobs of the stove to turn it off, wiping his hands on his pants as he walked over to the younger. A hand was placed on Changkyun's shoulder, who looked up at the taller with a cloudy and tired gaze, lids failing to keep open and focus. 

"Kyun, what are you doing out of bed? You should be resting you know."

"Where is everybody?" 

Hyungwon looks to the door and smiles. "They're out getting items for you to get better. Kihyun heard you talking, so he thought you were talking to Jooheon late at night. He was going to tell you to shut up, but that was until he caught you saying you were hurting in your sleep and he went to check on you. You just have a slight fever, so we're going to make sure it doesn't get any worse. How are you feeling?"

Changkyun shrugs, a slight whine as he goes to wrap his arms around the taller who chuckles at the contact. "Well, someone is a bit more clingy." Hyungwon pats Changkyun's slightly damp hair. "Maybe I'll give you another wet cloth. Your forehead still feels hot." Changkyun then knew why his hair was wet, most likely from a damp hand towel that was put on him earlier.

“Poor Kyun, you feel so hot to the touch, and you look so lethargic. Come and sit down on the couch.” Changkyun obeys and plops himself on the furniture as his body sinks into the cushions. Before Hyungwon can move to go back into the kitchen, the younger hurriedly grabs onto the elder’s shirt, tugging lightly for him to come back. The blonde chuckles, cooing as he takes a look at the food that most likely would make Changkyun feel worse, deciding that it was best to stay with the maknae. Hyungwon sits down with the other who quickly scoots closer and wraps his arms around the taller.

“Hyung is so warm…” The blonde chuckles once again, a little shy at the comment and places an arm around the Changkyun’s shoulders, patting it gently as he rubs his cheek against his head. 

“Ah~, you’re so cute Kyun-ie. You can fall asleep until the others arrive back with food.” The brunette brings his face up to stare into the other’s eyes, but Hyungwon knows that look. “And yes, it’s from your favorite place as well. A special day for our sick maknae.”

Changkyun smiles warmly and snuggles with the member as he closes his eyes, hearing the television turn on and the soft volume calming and low, unlike the harsh noises that came from the frying pan. He loves how easy going Hyungwon is when they’re together, as he can just relax and enjoy the rest of the day. It makes Changkyun happy to be called cute and not have to worry about his skin or watch what he has to eat like before. The blonde had come to him to apologize and share his own insecurities later on which made Changkyun smile for how brave and open his hyung was being. With their hectic schedules, it makes the younger happy there can be times like this. 

By the time the members come back, Changkyun had fallen asleep, warm and comfortable against Hyungwon's sweater. The loud voice of Minhyuk and Jooheon however, wake him up as Hyungwon scowls at the other blonde and second youngest shaking his head. All the members coo at the youngest who stretches his arms and rubs his eyes, still sleepy and look like a cute animal. Changkyun hates being a light sleeper at times because he mostly hears everything that's going on and makes it harder to sleep at times. 

"Sorry Kyun, we didn't mean to wake you up." Minhyuk smiles, coming over to the other to hug him, giving a small little squeeze. Jooheon apologizes as well, placing the bags of food on the table. All the members move around to set up the table, as Wonho goes to grab the plates and utensils, Shownu going to get some cups and drinks, Kihyun taking the food out of the bags and arranging it on the table. And everyone else gets themselves situated on the table and in their chairs. Hyungwon immediately sat down to the left of I.M, and the usual mom of the group on the other side to make sure he eats everything that would be given to him. Since Changkyun was the sick one, all the members were placing tons of food onto his plate, even reaching over and feeding him some more food. He felt Hyungwon's hand touch and rub his back reassuringly and to also prevent him from choking as well. Through his filled up cheeks, he looks up at the blonde and smiles, happy that he's by his side finally.  
_  
"Hyung~ wait up!" 

It was just Hyungwon and Changkyun alone for their vacation from the hectic schedules from All In, given a small vacation to visit family and friends. Since the pair, both came from the same hometown of Gwangju, they decided to relax with one another. They had just gotten off the plane from their flight and also waking up from their naps as well. The weather for the days they were taking a rest was cold, causing them both to make sure that they bundle up with thick jackets and warm clothing. Just leaving the airport and getting out of the taxi car, Hyungwon stood to wait for Changkyun to waddle his way to him. The now black-haired laughed at the younger, amused that Kihyun and Wonho dressed him to almost look like a huge white ball. Changkyun huffed and caught his breath when reaching the taller, nodding his head as they dragged their suitcases and headed for the hotel. For the next four days, they would spend one day with one another, visit family for two days while still staying at the hotel and then spend the last day of vacation with one another again. 

"Why did you let Kihyun and Wonho dress you up in the first place? You look like a kid getting ready to play in the snow or like you're a safety dummy."

"Very funny. You know how Kihyun and Wonho are. They're always overdressing me when it comes to colder climates. Where did you say you want to eat?" 

"Let's drop our luggage off in the room, and we can go to this really great place I always used to visit." The other agrees, and they make it inside, checking in and going up to their room to unload everything. Taking a quick breather and washing off their faces, as well as warming up, they head back out, and Changkyun and Hyungwon go to the restaurant that the older talked about, the pair chatting away. It had been a while since No Mercy, all of it passed his head but, it always still lingers there. He's glad things have gotten better and that he doesn't need to worry about anything anymore when it comes to the other members. Changkyun's happy that he can chat with Hyungwon, one of the members that took the longest to open up and here he is spending time with him on his vacation. 

Changkyun smiles to himself, leaning against the older as they walk and putting an arm around the other's arm. Hyungwon looks down, and a big smile appears on his face, chuckling as he fixes their arms comfortably as they start to walk hand in hand, soon getting warmer from the foul cold weather. The walk was calm, the pair talking about their future first win that they wish to earn to something Shownu did earlier in the morning that was too hilarious to ignore. Changkyun liked these talks with Hyungwon, how everything flowed, never losing track of the conversation, and also someone who was quiet like him. When silences do come over, none of them are bothered by it one bit. The shorter smiles, not knowing his steps had halted which causing the older to pull his arm a little, confused by the sudden abruptness. 

Hyungwon called out to the maknae, his head tilting slightly when he hadn't gotten a response yet. He was beyond confused indeed and even looked behind him as the younger stared at something behind him except, he wasn't. A little worry feeling bubbled in Hyungwon's stomach, fearing the cold could have made the other not feel so well.

"Kyun? What is it?"

Out of nowhere, Changkyun gulps hard and bites his bottom lip, opening his mouth to speak except a stutter comes out. Before he knows it, tears begin to fall as the younger's grip grows tighter around Hyungwon's hand. Taking two steps forward to let go of his hand and wrap his arms around the taller, who stands still as his brain tries his best to catch up. 

"I'm just..." Changkyun sniffles, nuzzling his cheek into Hyungwon's coat as he continues to sob. "I'm just so happy you're with me now Hyungwon."

The taller sighs and smiles, patting his head lovingly and hugs back, rubbing the other's back. He knew what Changkyun was talking about and chuckled a bit, surprised he still thought back to those days. Pushing that aside, however, the black-haired is glad that the maknae now talks and gives the same love back. Whatever was in the past was gone, and the both of them were happy about where they were at now. 

"Aish, Kyun. Always thinking about that huh?" Hyungwon pulls away, to wipe away the tears falling from Changkyun's eyes, the wooled fabric of this gloves a bit rough against his skin. The older smiles as he grabs the hand of the other to continue walking. "Don't cry anymore okay kiddo? It doesn't suit you. Fill that mind with good hot foods and talking behind Minhyuk's back."

Changkyun chuckles at the comment, smiling back as he shows the older the biggest smile he can come up with. "Thank hyung..."   
_  
With Fighter promotions, the members had finished one of their stages and began making their way off the stage. They, however, didn't win, but all seven pat each other's back and Changkyun sighs heavily as he removes one of his earpieces until an arm comes around his shoulders. Changkyun looks up to see that it's Hyungwon, a small smile that hides something within it. The younger knows what it is and nods, a reassuring one that told him that he still did well. If only it were that easy to tell Wonho who was still a bit distraught, being consoled by Shownu. Changkyun sends a small smile back, hugging the taller which puts him a bit at ease at the events that had happened. 

Everyone agrees to go to a restaurant to cheer one another up, especially over a large bowl of hot ramen that does bring up Wonho's mood. The members take off their gear, and Changkyun folds the slightly damp black sweater he was dancing in, as well as a shirt, leaving him bare from the waist up. He hasn't really said anything except his rap during the performance, movements slow as he just thinks how they could be better. The now grayish-brown haired didn't like to see the others overthink about the issue of not getting the first win yet, seeing how hard he and his hyung worked. From Wonho working out as he slowly pushed his body too much at times, to Shownu also standing at times in a room and staring at nothing knowing that he probably doesn't feel like a great leader at times, to also Kihyun straining his vocals and pushing himself to become better when he already is. Also seeing Minhyuk train just as hard as Kihyun, knowing that sometimes the now dark brunette hides his true feelings through his excitement and happiness; it's happened before. 

"You alright? Everyone is almost ready to go Kyun." Jooheon takes Changkyun out of his thoughts and gives his hyung a smile. Another member who works really hard, primarily since the pair works together on most of the songs, wondering how he thinks about it all. Sometimes with these thoughts, Changkyun hated being the maknae as they all work hard for the fans, their families and him since he was the youngest. Although the younger was grown, his hyungs wanted to look their best and treat him with care and love despite the hectic schedule. Always finding time for him as he did them. 

Changkyun gives the older a nod, grabbing his casual t-shirt to put it on and then changing his pants. He didn't realize that it had been two hours since the stage and he spent thirty minutes just standing there lost in his thoughts, going through all the after stage protocol they always do after every show. Grabbing his bag, he ruffles his hair to get the feeling of hair products out of his strands, not liking how much was used to keep his hair intact. It takes ten minutes to gather the other members and making sure everyone had gotten everything, saying goodbye to staff and other artists they knew that were walking around. 

The restaurant wasn't far, letting the members take a nice walk as it started to get late. Changkyun walks behind the group as he doesn't pay attention to whatever the others are saying, his eyes looking at the familiar shops on the other side of the street. He really wants to become better for his family, fans and his members. After the chaos that happened before debut, they treat him with too much love and Changkyun wonders if he could all give it back the same, hopefully even more. Hyungwon notices the younger spacing out, his conversation with Wonho stopping as the older then continues talking with Minhyuk. The brunette halts, the other members not taking notice through their chatter, and Changkyun slightly bumps into the taller. 

The shorter looks up, sighing as he softly mumbles a sorry, the older grips onto the other's arm to prevent him from walking away. He does keep an eye on the others and that they aren't too far as they talk away. "You look like you have a lot on your mind Kyunn-ie. Did you want to talk about it?"

"Well, a little..."

"Okay, come on, we can walk and talk about what's bothering you." Changkyun nods, and they walk to keep up with the others but still trailing slightly behind, knowing he didn't want to worry the others. 

"I guess I was easy to read, huh?"

Hyungwon chuckles, now being able to see his breath through the air. "It's one of those rare occasions." 

The maknae knows that he doesn't say much on what's his mind but, this time he couldn't keep it in any longer. His emotions began to show through him, and as the youngest of the group, he knew the others would start to worry just like Hyungwon was doing. 

"Do you think that we'll ever win?" The question throws off the brunette, looking down at him and cocks his head to the side as he thinks.

"Of course we will." Changkyun gulps, wondering if Hyungwon is just saying that to make him feel better or if that was the truth. The younger feels like he wants to cry again, but he knows that he can't let those emotions overcome him. The taller senses the slight confliction from his lack of response. The brunette sighs slightly, throwing an arm around the smaller who lets out a small yelp. "Don't think about it too much. We shouldn't beat ourselves up over this. Just because we don't have a first win yet doesn't mean we suck. Don't let it eat you up okay." 

The maknae smiles, nodding his head as he lets out one more sigh to push out the last of his sad thoughts. "Alright hyung, I'll do that." 

"Great. We don't need you to think like that." The brunette kisses his forehead, and the action makes Changkyun groan but chuckles in the end. "Just work hard and let Monbebes give us the strength just like do with each other in the group." 

"Hey! It's cute that you're acting like an adorable couple, but we got somewhere we need to be!" Minhyuk yells, and the pair notices that they have stopped, seeing the members far away. 

"Those ramen noodles are waiting for me, and I'll blame you two if I can't get to them soon!" 

"Get your asses over here, or I'll make you clean the dorm!"

Hyungwon rolls his eyes and grabs Changkyun's hand, ushering the boy to walk and catch up with the hungry members and hoping that they will shut up. The younger smiles, knowing that if he's with his hyung's then, it'll be okay, and he would get through everything.   
_

"What's so bad about kissing someone's head? You can just close your eyes and do it." Hyungwon speaks up after Kihyun had just kissed the top of Shownu's head, freaking out and wiping his lips as he then rubs it on Hyungwon's arm. 

"You try it then! You like, feel something!" 

"It's very warm." Shownu laughs as he touches the top of his head. 

The person kissing the other's head would need to say something that they like about them. And Hyungwon doesn't skip a beat. "I.M has a very charming low voice. He has a very nice nose! It's a really nice one." The youngest chuckles at that, feeling satisfied at the compliments. 

"Do you agree?" Jooheon asks, and Changkyun nods his head, responding to him that it's the truth. 

"It's a nose that I want. Changkyun also looks good in everything he wears as well." All the members nod their heads, understanding and agreeing with the taller. Hyungwon runs his fingers through Changkyun's hair and parts it, the feeling a bit ticklish. The younger isn't sure what he thinks at the moment except for how weird this was to do. He just sits there and waits for Hyungwon's lips to touch his head until the taller randomly says something he ever knew about. "There's a mole on his scalp too." 

"I have a double vortex on my head by the way." 

The members laugh, coming up with something else. "You'll have to kiss it two times then. Kiss it twice if he has a double vortex." 

Hyungwon locates one and shyly, places a quick kiss against the younger's head. Moving away and wiping his mouth as he exclaims loudly. All the members freak out a little, giggles coming through them and some also running their hand through their hair as if they felt it themselves. 

"You have to do it on the other part of his head to now." Wonho points out, and Hyungwon looks like he wasn't paying attention to the whole conversation of the double vortex. Either way, he doesn't mind and soon finds the other one, giggling and calling it cute. Just as quickly as the other one, the taller places another kiss with the same reactions from the other members who are acting like teenage school girls. Changkyun touches his head, laughing as he isn't sure what to think now. It wasn't like he would do so anyway as Hyungwon unexpectedly slaps his arm, in a friendly manner of course and he just shakes his head.

For another No Exit Broadcast, they get together for another game to play. Jooheon, Wonho, and Shownu were on their own team with Kihyun being the judge, the other three forming a unit. The focus of this game was that the person with the cushion would need to run towards the toilet paper, slapping the pillow on the ground and the furthest toilet paper distance would win. 

"This time, I've included parts of Monsta X's memories," Minhyuk speaks, all the other members watching except for Hyungwon and Changkyun, who were behind the now redhead. Changkyun and Hyungwon hold hands as they and Minhyuk were about to act out their small performance for their judge Kihyun. The trio was planning to do a Trespass reenactment, while Minhyuk would catapult off of Hyungwon and Changkyun to the run and jump with a pillow in his hands, to then slam it against the floor and try to move the tissue the furthest. 

Kihyun, a bit intrigued, asks Minhyuk what the title of it is as Hyungwon and Changkyun discuss what they're about to go about "performance." 

"So, hyung," The youngest catches the taller's attention. "Do we just like wait for Minhyuk to run at us, and then we push him off with our arms right?"

Hyungwon chuckles. "I love how you ask when this is in our debut choreography." Changkyun isn't fond of the slight teasing, making the shorter whine a little. 

"Yeah but that's with four members, not two."

As exaggerated as he is, Minhyuk throws out his arms and yells. "It's MONCHOO TIME!"

"Huh?" Both Jooheon and Kihyun don't grasp what the older is talking about. 

"It's Monsta X Memory Time; MONCHOO TIME!" The two brunettes just act like they know what he's talking about, the main vocalist telling him to go on with whatever he needs to perform. Both Hyungwon and Changkyun laugh at the actions of the redhead, the youngest covering his mouth so doesn't get scolded; even if it's playfully. 

With everyone's attention now on them, Minhyuk badly raps the last section of Jooheon's part and the other pair spring into action as they move away from one another to sort of make a slingshot as an X wouldn't work out too well. Minhyuk runs to their arms and they poorly throw him, making the older still have to run and jump, slamming the pillow on the floor. Sadly, the napkin only flutters, and it makes the vocalist feel disappointed in his work. Everyone laughs and they get three points for their little stage. 

"I swear, why do we get the idiot on our team." Hyungwon shakes his head and mumbles lowly, making Changkyun laugh and playfully slap his hyung's arm.   
_

The members were getting ready for filming their newest music video Shine Forever, waiting for their respected parts to show up for recording. Changkyun had a bag of chips within his hands as he watched the members reenact a scene between Minhyuk, Shownu, and Jooheon. The leader would have to pretend to punch Minhyuk, and honestly watching bloopers of it was making him laugh. Before he can fully understand, an arm wraps around his shoulders, a weight soon on top of his head, signaling that Hyungwon was behind him. He knew that he was the only one that was able to do that except for Shownu and Wonho and maybe Minhyuk but they were busy at the moment. 

"This looks so weird. I bet in real life Shownu would just totally own Minhyuk with a punch like that." Changkyun laughs, almost choking on his chips as he chews. Hyungwon isn't wrong. If Shownu and Minhyuk did somehow get into a big fight, the how silver-haired would probably be dust. 

"You want some hyung?" The light-haired takes a chip and Hyungwon smiles, happily moving his head to the maknae's shoulders to be able to take a bite, only to have the evil maknae pull away quickly. Seeing the disappointment on the taller's face, Changkyun laughs, and he places his hand near the other's face to pull away again, and the older wasn't having the younger's games. Third time was the charm, only to have the younger repeat the action but the dark-haired was determined as he followed the hand trying to take a bite, the chip being consumed by Changkyun's mouth, finishing with a smart-ass, shit-eating grin. For his hyung's hard work, he takes out another chip, feeding the taller finally who smiles at the taste of the honey butter, the younger laughing when he hears a small satisfied moan to have some food. 

The caramel-haired watches the other members laugh and mess up as they continue acting the scene that plays in front of his eyes. A scene now where Kihyun has joined in and was blindfolded, controlling a sad Minhyuk who had just gotten a fake punch to the face. The younger wouldn't know what he would do if Shownu actually hit the boy, wincing as the image appears in his head. He wants to avoid that thought, successfully forgetting when he hears Hyungwon's passive voice, kind of vibrating as his throat was against his shoulders. They talk, letting the time pass slowly and before they know it, it's their time to join in for the shoot.

And when it was time for their Beautiful in Seoul World Tour, the first tour they'll be doing, and all the members were beyond excited. It made the members happy to see how many tickets have sold and all the places that they would visit soon never stopped talking about it. For their last day of the concert in Seoul, during one of their ments and as Shownu was talking, Changkyun looked at the taller who was paying attention to their leader talking and also watching all the fans and smiled at some. 

Noticing the shorter was staring at him, he smiles and unexpectedly receives a kiss from the light haired brunette. The younger blowing a kiss and sending a smile. The corner of Hyungwon's lips curl up and giggles, sending the action back and it makes Changkyun grow shy. He really does love his hyung.  
_

Tears and sobs filled the small room that consisted the elevators, sniffling and unbelievable chuckles escaping their lips. The moment they waited for of finally earning their first win with their song Dramarama and the members honestly couldn't believe it. Changkyun wiped his eyes away from the tears, rubbing his nose that started to become damp and his mind a bit hazy. It all happened so fast, hearing their name almost seemed like a blur but, he vividly heard it at the same time. A woman staff hands him a tissue, something he gladly uses against his face, the soft napkin giving him comfort as well. 

He spots the taller who now has his hair a burgundy, standing in the corner as he also wipes away his tears, his cheeks stained, face cutely swollen just a bit. He watches as his hyung fixes his turtleneck, the clothing most likely slightly choking him and Changkyun slowly walks over, wrapping his arms around him. The older doesn't say anything, neither does the other, and they both stand in the corner of the room. Hyungwon sniffles, raising the napkin up to his eyelids, soaking up the tears that were happiness and gratefulness. The other feels so warm, and even though the suit that they were wearing wasn't exactly the most comfortable fabric, he never pulled away nonetheless.

"We did it hyung, we really gotten our first win..." 

The taller sniffled, nodding his head. "I told you Kyun, we would really get it." 

Changkyun moved, walking to the side of his hyung as he kept an arm around his waist. Hyungwon smiles, finally making eye contact as he looked down, both eyes glossy from the tears. The younger chuckled a bit, leaning against the taller and closed his eyes. "You look like such a mess hyung."

"Shut up kid." Hyungwon teases, hitting the other against the arm. Of course, the younger holds his arm, the slight pain hurting as if it'll fall off. The taller would always playfully hit him, ever since Rush promotions and now it seemed like a practical joke almost every other day. Knowing that there was no malicious intent, Changkyun would just brush it off. "I guess we'll be celebrating for the next few weeks then."

The younger chuckles as he feels a poke against where his dimples show, and it honestly makes him smile wider. 

About a week after, everyone had gotten off the high of earning their first win and taking in how real it indeed was, resting as everyone has done their own things with their families. Changkyun waking up and he hears something that he can't really understand through his sleepy state, a bit later in the day and alone as everyone else wasn't in the dorms; to be expected. He rubs his arms through the slightly thin matching striped sleepwear he wore, the feeling in the air cold. He was disappointed that Kihyun and Shownu left to visit their families as they were the better cooks among the seven of them, now having to live on either leftovers, delivery or something he would need to cook up for himself. The younger wasn't able to visit his family as they went on vacation; the silence within the rooms feeling lonely. He may look annoyed and done with his hyung's antics, but when it came to holidays or rests, he did truly miss them much. 

Stepping out into the living room, he didn't notice that one member, however, actually stayed behind as they sat on the couch watching the television. Changkyun stood, a bit shocked at how he wasn't alone anymore and the older turns in his direction with a growing smile. There was a table filled with bagged food most likely delivered, and the burgundy-haired patted the space next to him. 

"I ordered some food for us. Everyone else had left, and I didn't want to leave you here alone." The younger still stares a bit, as if the taller had turned into a ghost or he transformed into something that wasn't human. Seeing this, the older chuckles and rolls his eyes as he takes out his phone. "Well, don't just stand there silly. Come over here and let's eat before it gets cold."

As if the sense had finally knocked Changkyun's brain to work, the brunette lunges towards the taller and flies towards the couch, arms wrapping around him. He was beyond touched that his hyung would take the time to instead spend his rest days with him because the younger would be alone. He hears Hyungwon chuckle, and rub his back, the touch warm and comforting. 

"You're the best hyung! Don't tell Jooheon." He makes the other chuckle, and they pull away from one another as the younger eagerly tries to open the bags of food, still radiating heat as it had just been dropped off. It then dawned that the noise Changkyun heard was possibly the door opening and closing. His finger wrap around the tight knot, secure as if it shouldn't be opened. The more seconds that passed, the more the younger's mouth would water for the food. Not wanting to waste any time, he skips the scissors and places his mouth over the child-proof like bag, the taste of plastic wasn't a pleasant one. 

A hard crack was heard, making Changkyun's teeth slip off the knot and hit each other and he immediately pulls away. Hyungwon laughs and gets up, walking away and into the kitchen as he leaves him in pain. The brunette's hand goes straight into his own mouth, trying to apply pressure to stop the pain and also making sure all his teeth didn't just fall out. Changkyun puts himself in a fetal position, eyes closed tightly to try and ignore the pain that felt as if it was going. If Shownu had punched him, that's what it could feel like, and the thought instead makes it worse. 

Hyungwon soon comes back with empty glasses in his hand and a bottle of soda, not even bothering to ask if the younger was alright. The older, like a smart person, cuts open the bags of food and places the styrofoam boxes around the table, handing the pained other a pair of chopsticks. With his other hand, Changkyun reaches to take them as the pain of satan starts to subside. The couple soon begins digging as they watch a thriller mystery, arms crossing one another grab a piece of meat, vegetables or anything that was in arms reach. The younger takes some kimchi, feeding it to the older who happily takes a bite; doing the same to the maknae. 

After about an hour or so, Changkyun eats the last of the hobak buchim, closing his eyes in bliss as he lets out a small moan, glad to have delicious food in his stomach. Hyungwon cleans the empty boxes and the younger joins in to help, cleaning up and then resting on the couch side by side. Since it was late when they started eating, Changkyun grabs a throw blanket from the couch and wrap themselves with it. With stomachs full, the pair began to grow sleepy, eye unable to keep open and the movie that seemed interesting had gotten boring. With a soft and small exhale, Changkyun shifts his position, angling his head to lay against the taller's chest. Hearing the older's heartbeat really started to put him asleep, a hand that always comforts him wrapping around to hold his shoulder.   
_

"No no, I think we're doing it wrong." 

"Really? Is it not aligned with the movements?" Changkyun glances back, seeing their position in the mirror as he moves his shoulders. It was time for their Jealousy comeback, and both Hyungwon and Changkyun couldn't get their part down yet. The other members had left for the day, leaving the two of them to practice together to get the part they needed down. It was a little fast, and the movements were either they lagged, or they spend it up too much. Not only was that a problem, but both also had to come up with more choreography for their "How Long" cover; not forgetting to record their "Fake Love" cover as well for the upcoming World Tour that planned on doing after all the promotions. 

Changkyun straightens his body, cracking his neck and running his hands through his wet hair as he walks to the mirror and takes a drink of his water. He grabs his shirt to wipe the sweat off and cool down a bit, the older doing the same as they both plan out how to dance the part the needed for Jealousy. They've been in the dance room for about two hours, and they were beyond tired. Their muscles aching for the bed, stomachs crying for food, and eyes wanting to be shut until the next day. 

They really couldn't come to any conclusion, about to call it a day in another hour and the pair get back to work. Hyungwon faces the mirror as he moves his hair back from the intense and nonstop practicing. Changkyun would be lying if he said that the taller wasn't good looking whether it be up close or far away; everyone thought so to be honest. He places himself in front of the now pink haired hyung, moving his legs to be apart. They started out slow, moving the head first, to the shoulders, and then the body. It worked out until the pace soon sped which caused mistakes to occur once again. 

"Sorry. Maybe I'm just thinking about the moves too much or something." The younger sighs, stepping away from the other to walk around and gather his thoughts to go back into his place. 

"Just pretend I'm not here, that could work" Hyungwon points out, making Changkyun thinks about it more. From what he sees the other members dance that part, the movements were the same except they didn't have a member in front of them. The now back to black-haired maknae nods his head, understanding the idea and they try it out. For the first three times, they don't get it right until the fourth time, both frozen as they then look at one another as if wondering what was real. It takes a good ten seconds of eyes, looking back at one another for any answers or confirmation at what just happened. Finally having Changkyun jump to wrap his arms and legs around Hyungwon like a koala to a tree, the older making a quick reflex of catching the maknae by the waist. 

Screams of excitement fill the dance room, and they'rs both spinning around followed by the annoying squeaks of Hyungwon's shoes but, they didn't care. Dizziness overcoming the both of them, the taller lets the other down and both stumble slightly from the turning, clumsily placing themselves on the floor, chests heaving. Catching their breaths, their eyes slowly meet and break out into dry, heavy laughs as they still try to calm themselves, mouths aching for water before their throats turned into dust. 

Hyungwon suggests to call it a day and pack up, glad they finally got it down and would start again tomorrow. Now that they got the concept down and the exact pace, they can practice with the others more efficiently and not have to fall behind. The older waits by the door, teasing the other to hurry up and get going so they could get some leftovers from Kihyun's dinner, the clock passing the time they said they would be back. As Changkyun reached the taller, he received the usual playful hit against the arm and in return, giving the same hand going up to the spot to rub it and face of pain. 

Walking down the sidewalk, they talk about the choreography and how they would go about finalizing it. Changkyun still needed to write a rap for "Fake Love" and see if he could come up with some moves for "How Long," and other things for the group, noticing how many things they needed to finish when he listed them in his head. He sighs, the pink-haired catching it as he laughs.

"Still thinking about our part in Jealousy?"

"No. Well, yes, but just other things we have to get done. We have the MV shooting, stages for the concert, choreography, just there's a lot of things."

"Well, that's an idols life." 

Changkyun nods his head. "Yup. Let's end this year good, okay hyung." 

Hyungwon looks down to smile, patting the others head. "Okay Kyun."


End file.
